One Who Wishes to Repent Must Recite Psalms / God Himself Engages in Repentance, as it were One who wishes to repent must accustom himself to recite psalms. There are fifty gates of repentance, of which a person can go through forty-nine. The fiftieth gate is the repentance of God Himself, as it were, as expressed in the verse, “Return to Me and I will return to you” (Malakhi 3:7). Sometimes a person is not inspired to repent. Even if he is inspired, he may not reach his particular gate of repentance. And even if he does, it might be closed. But when a person recites psalms, he is inspired to repent, he reaches his gate and he is able to open it. These forty-nine gates of repentance correspond to the forty-nine letters that comprise the names of the twelve tribes. Their principal purification occurred in Egypt. After they were purified, they left and counted forty-nine days — corresponding to the forty-nine gates of repentance — until, on the fiftieth day, God descended to them on Mount Sinai. “I will return to you.” That was the repentance of God Himself, as it were — the fiftieth gate. For the Days of Sefirah6The days of sefirah (counting) refer to the forty-nine-day period of the Counting of the Omer, which extends from the festival of Pesach until the festival of Shavuot. After the Exodus from Egypt on the first day of Pesach, the Jewish people underwent a fortynine- day period of preparation for the giving of the Torah at Mount Sinai, which took place on the fiftieth day. Each year, we, too, count forty-nine days in preparation for our own receiving of the Torah on the fiftieth day, Shavuot. When We Recite Psalms, We Attain Repentance “From the outset, You created Your world for the sake of the Jewish people, Your chosen nation.
In Your vast compassion, You granted us Your holy Torah through Your prophet Moses, the faithful one of Your house, giving us life as on this day, so that through it we may attain the day that is entirely good and entirely long. In Your intense kindness, You granted us ever-greater kindness and favors, wonders and awesome matters through the Tzaddikim in every generation, all of whom made the Torah increasingly accessible.
We must recognize how much God has done for us, the vast lovingkindness and great compassion that we have attained, “the faithful kindness repaid to David.”
You gave us ever-greater kindness and goodness. You expanded the kindness that You performed on our behalf to revive our souls, and sent us a redeemer and teacher, “the anointed one of the God of Jacob and the sweet singer of Israel” — David, king of Israel, who lives and endures.
He wrote the holy, awesome Book of Psalms on our behalf, in five parts corresponding to the Five Books of the Torah. How great is the goodness that You have performed on our behalf! How shall we repay HaShem for all that He has given us?
In Your vast compassion, You revealed that when we recite psalms, we attain repentance. You desire kindness. You desire the repentance of the wicked and not their death.
Therefore, You brought us the medicine before the wound by graciously giving us this holy Book of Psalms, which opens to us all of the gates of compassion, all of the gates of repentance, which are the fifty gates of repentance, corresponding to the fifty gates of understanding.
Help me and everyone in my family, as part of Your nation of Israel, recite many psalms with great feeling, with a truly whole heart, every single day.
May I focus my heart well so that my ears will hear what my mouth is saying, so I will find every level of myself within the holy verses of psalms, which are composed of all of the souls of Israel and of all levels, from the highest to the lowest.
Everyone can arouse his heart to return to HaShem in complete repentance as a result of reciting psalms, and to reach his own gate of repentance, which resonates to his letter of the forty-nine letters of the names of the tribes of God.
May He assist and help us to constantly come close to Him from wherever we fell. May we return to Him with complete repentance — repentance upon repentance, continually.
Bring Me Salvation My compassionate Father, You know how I have deeply compromised all of the ways of Your counsel that You revealed to us through Your true Tzaddikim.
Therefore, I still await and anticipate a complete salvation at every moment. I wait for You to bring me close to You and return me to You in complete repentance by means of all of the wondrous and awesome, perfect and simple ways and counsels that You revealed to us through Your true Tzaddikim, so that from now on I will always be in accordance with Your good will.
Master of the world, help me regularly recite many psalms every day with great concentration, with prodigious feeling, with the true attention of my heart, until I will feel the pain of my sins and repent for them completely.
May I attain great joy as a result of reciting psalms. May I arouse the ten types of melody of which the Book of Psalms is composed, which heal the “King’s daughter” — the Congregation of Israel — and sing melodies all of the days of my life about the House of HaShem in a voice of joy and thanks: “HaShem is good; His kindness is forever.”
Help me purify, refine and reveal all fortynine gates of repentance as a result of reciting psalms, which include all of the “names of the children of Israel coming to Egypt” that are comprised of forty-nine letters, corresponding to the forty-nine gates of repentance.
In this way, bring me out of the forty-nine gates of uncleanness and into the forty-nine gates of holiness. Take me out of the “narrowness of the throat,” so that my throat will not be hoarse as a result of having called out to You so much from the narrowness of the throat.
Bring me out to expansiveness. Raise me from the “land of Egypt,” from the “narrowness of the throat,” so that I will open my mouth and You will fill it with all true and eternal good. Then I will truly come close to You and return to You in complete and wholehearted repentance, with my body, soul and financial affairs.
“Bring me back and I will return, for You are [HaShem] my God.” Bring us back, our Father, to Your Torah, and bring us close, our King, to serve You. Return us to You in complete repentance. You look to the wicked person and desire his vindication. You desire repentance. “You do not desire the death of a person who dies,” “but that he will repent of his deeds and live.” You wait for him until the day of his death, and if he repents, You immediately accept him.
“You press a man down until his soul is crushed, and You say, ‘Return, sons of man!’” Bring us back, God of our salvation. Turn back Your anger against us. “Return us to You, HaShem, and we will return; renew our days as of old.”
Counting the Omer Master of the world, “recall Your compassion, HaShem, and Your kindness, which are eternal.” Please recall the wondrous and awesome kindness that You performed on our behalf when You brought us out of Egypt with great might and a strong hand.
You revealed to us the truth of the faith in Your Godliness with a great, wondrous and sweet light. You performed great and awesome signs and miracles in order to reveal Your Godliness, Your Oneness and Your absolute sovereignty.
Afterward, You brought us close to You as a holy people. You took us out of the fortynine gates of uncleanness and brought us into the forty-nine gates of holiness — which are the forty-nine gates of repentance that are associated with the forty-nine letters of the names of the tribes of God.
In Your vast compassion, You commanded us to count the corresponding forty-nine days of sefirah, in order to purify the polluted souls of Your nation, the Jewish people.
Then, as a result of the mitzvah of Counting the Omer, we can emerge from uncleanness to purity, leaving the forty-nine gates of uncleanness behind and entering the forty-nine gates of holiness.
Master of the world, You Who are filled with compassion, in Your intense kindness help me fulfill the mitzvah of Counting the Omer in a timely fashion, with great holiness and with wondrous and awesome enthusiasm.
As a result of the holiness of this awesome mitzvah, may we wake up and truly return to You, and emerge from all of our uncleanness. May we expunge every kind of uncleanness and pollution that clings to us as a result of our evil deeds.
Master of the world, Master of the world, save us with every type of salvation. You know the power of every mitzvah, its great ability to extract us from the places into which we have fallen due to our many sins, and to bring us close to You.
This is particularly true of the mitzvah of Counting the Omer, which prepares us to receive the Torah, which marks the beginning of the Jewish people’s coming close to their Father in Heaven.
You gave us this holy mitzvah so that we may emerge from the forty-nine gates of uncleanness and enter the forty-nine gates of holiness. Help me keep this mitzvah from where I stand now, with the greatest perfection possible for a person like me.
Be filled with compassion on my behalf. Help me and save me as a result of my keeping this mitzvah, and quickly bring me out from uncleanness to purity, from the mundane to the holy, from sadness to joy, from subjugation to redemption, and from darkness to a great light.
On the holy festival of Shavuot, which is the fiftieth day, return to us and open the holy fiftieth gate for us. Pour great compassion and supernal kindness onto us from that gate, so that we will rectify everything and truly return to You always.
Emerging from This Bitter Exile Master of the world, You Who gaze and look to the end of all generations, You Who think thoughts so that no one will remain cast away from You, You know the acute bitterness of this last exile, the level to which we have fallen and descended due to our many sins, a descent deeper than the forty-nine gates of uncleanness.
Because of our many sins, in this troubled time “[we] have descended shockingly, with no one to console [us].” We have sunken “into the muddy depths and cannot stand.” We have entered into the depths of the water and the waves have washed over us.
“Gazing to the right, I see that no one knows me. My refuge is gone; no one seeks my soul.” I have turned in every direction, but salvation is far from me. What can I say? My sins have deeply affected me.
“If Your Torah had not been my delight, I would have perished in my affliction.” “Your kindness to us is great and You have rescued our soul from the lowest Sheol.” For indeed, this last exile has been taxing because we have fallen and descended further than we did in the exile of Egypt.
This is our consolation in our impoverished state: that Your word has revived us. For You brought the medicine before our wound, giving us Your holy Torah through Moses Your prophet. In the exile of Egypt, we had not yet attained this. We left before receiving the Torah, like a slave fleeing from his master, and that caused subsequent problems.
But now You have already performed wondrous kindness on our behalf. You have already given us Your holy Torah through Moses Your prophet, the faithful one of Your house.
And we have merited a number of great and awesome Tzaddikim in every generation, and we also attained the holy Book of Psalms from David, king of Israel.
However, I admit the truth, confessing before You, HaShem my God and God of my fathers, that nevertheless, I remain entirely on the outside, and have not yet emerged at all from the mundane to the holy.
Every day I ask, “What will my end be?” “We hope for peace but there is no goodness, and for a time of healing, but behold, there is fright.” All of the signposts indicating our salvation that I looked forward to have passed by, and still I have not been saved.
I do not know how I continue to live in such a completely bitter state, with my soul so bewildered, feeling more bitter than death, cast down, rebuffed and rejected.
I constantly rise to Heaven and then descend into profound depths. I am cast down from Heaven to earth thousands and tens of thousands of times without number. My soul is shot about as “in the pocket of the sling.”
I have run out of words and combinations of letters to relate my oppression and bitterness. Woe! Woe! At the very least, I had yearned to mitigate the bitterness of my spirit and express my speech. But even this is too difficult and onerous for me. “My hand is heavy from sighing.”
All of the hides of the “rams of Nebayot” would not suffice as parchment on which to write the effects of our blemishes of one day, or even of one hour.
Save Me with Your Holy Counsel Master of the world, “this is my consolation in my affliction”: that the true Tzaddikim have encouraged us “more than seven men who give advice” and revealed to us that there is no despair in the world at all.
I constantly expect You Who are filled with compassion to save me with all of the holy ways of Your counsel that You revealed to us through Your true Tzaddikim. Every piece of advice has the power to help me and save me.
And even if I damaged them all with my many sins, I know and believe that You have more vast compassion and means of rescue, salvation and wondrous counsel that You disclosed to them alone, which they have not yet revealed to the world.
Through this advice, I still have hope that I will return to You and begin anew to keep all of Your holy advice with love and fear, so that I will quickly rectify everything in my life and always be in accordance with Your good will.
Master of the world, “besides what I see, You instruct me.” For “I am a beast and do not know, I have been an animal with You.” With my many sins, I blemished and damaged a great deal by engaging in ways that I knew to be against Your will.
I transgressed, sinned and offended a great deal every day, every hour and every moment, from my youth until this day. I blemished and damaged a very great deal.
Nevertheless, in Your vast compassion, You revealed to us through Your true Tzaddikim that “HaShem my God, You are exceedingly great.” We do not know anything at all, for there is no limit to Your greatness.
Despite our falls, each individual to where he fell, Your greatness is exceedingly elevated, and there is a way in which everything is totally transformed to the good.
None of us knows anything of this. On this alone I rely, depend and am supported still, for the kindness of HaShem has not ended and His compassion has never ceased.
You Who are filled with compassion, help me recite more psalms with great concentration and wondrous, wholehearted fervor, until at every moment You will pour onto me great illumination and holiness from the fiftieth gate of holiness, which comprises all of the gates of holiness.
Quickly bring me out from all fifty gates of uncleanness, and bring me into all fifty gates of holiness. We have no one on whom to rely except You, our Father in Heaven — for no place is empty of You.
Help us from now on. Save us with a complete salvation, as is fitting for You, so that I will be entirely renewed, so that I will completely abandon my evil ways and evil thoughts, and no longer return to foolishness.
“God, create within me a pure heart and renew a steadfast spirit within me.” By reciting psalms, may I quickly arrive at the sign and gate of repentance connected to my soul, according to the root of my soul in the forty-nine letters of the names of the tribes of God.
In that way, may I truly return to You with all my heart, and truly serve You with fear and love, “in joy and with a goodness of heart out of an abundance of everything.”
[עַל־פִּי תּוֹרָה ע"ג - תְּהִלִּים מְסֻגָּל לִתְשׁוּבָה]
לְיְמֵי הַסְּפִירָה
אַתָּה יָצַרְתָּ עוֹלָמְךָ מִקֶּדֶם בִּשְׁבִיל יִשְׂרָאֵל עַמְּךָ אֲשֶׁר בָּהֶם בָּחַרְתָּ,
One Who Wishes to Repent Must Recite Psalms / God Himself Engages in Repentance, as it were
One who wishes to repent must accustom himself to recite psalms. There are fifty gates of repentance, of which a person can go through forty-nine. The fiftieth gate is the repentance of God Himself, as it were, as expressed in the verse, “Return to Me and I will return to you” (Malakhi 3:7).
Sometimes a person is not inspired to repent. Even if he is inspired, he may not reach his particular gate of repentance. And even if he does, it might be closed.
But when a person recites psalms, he is inspired to repent, he reaches his gate and he is able to open it.
These forty-nine gates of repentance correspond to the forty-nine letters that comprise the names of the twelve tribes. Their principal purification occurred in Egypt. After they were purified, they left and counted forty-nine days — corresponding to the forty-nine gates of repentance — until, on the fiftieth day, God descended to them on Mount Sinai. “I will return to you.” That was the repentance of God Himself, as it were — the fiftieth gate.
For the Days of Sefirah6The days of sefirah (counting) refer to the forty-nine-day period of the Counting of the Omer, which extends from the festival of Pesach until the festival of Shavuot. After the Exodus from Egypt on the first day of Pesach, the Jewish people underwent a fortynine- day period of preparation for the giving of the Torah at Mount Sinai, which took place on the fiftieth day. Each year, we, too, count forty-nine days in preparation for our own receiving of the Torah on the fiftieth day, Shavuot.
When We Recite Psalms, We Attain Repentance
“From the outset, You created Your world for the sake of the Jewish people, Your chosen nation.
וּבְרַחֲמֶיךָ הָרַבִּים זִכִּיתָ אוֹתָנוּ וְנָתַתָּ לָנוּ אֶת תּוֹרָתְךָ הַקְּדוֹשָׁה עַל־יְדֵי מֹשֶׁה נְבִיאֶךָ נֶאֱמַן בֵּיתֶךָ לְחַיּוֹתֵנוּ כְּהַיּוֹם הַזֶּה, לְמַעַן נִזְכֶּה עַל־יָדָהּ לְיוֹם שֶׁכֻּלּוֹ טוֹב וְכֻלּוֹ אָרוֹךְ. וּבַחֲסָדֶיךָ הָעֲצוּמִים הוֹסַפְתָּ לָנוּ חֲסָדִים וְטוֹבוֹת נִפְלָאוֹת וְנוֹרָאוֹת עַל־יְדֵי כָּל הַצַּדִּיקִים שֶׁבְּכָל דּוֹר וָדוֹר, אֲשֶׁר כֻּלָּם עָשׂוּ אָזְנַיִם לַתּוֹרָה מִשְׁמֶרֶת לְמִשְׁמֶרֶת.
In Your vast compassion, You granted us Your holy Torah through Your prophet Moses, the faithful one of Your house, giving us life as on this day, so that through it we may attain the day that is entirely good and entirely long. In Your intense kindness, You granted us ever-greater kindness and favors, wonders and awesome matters through the Tzaddikim in every generation, all of whom made the Torah increasingly accessible.
כַּמָּה מַעֲלוֹת טוֹבוֹת לַמָּקוֹם עָלֵינוּ, עַד אֲשֶׁר זָכִינוּ גַם זָכִינוּ לַחֲסָדִים רַבִּים וְרַחֲמִים גְּדוֹלִים, חַסְדֵּי דָוִד הַנֶּאֱמָנִים,
We must recognize how much God has done for us, the vast lovingkindness and great compassion that we have attained, “the faithful kindness repaid to David.”
אֲשֶׁר הוֹסַפְתָּ לָּנוּ חֶסֶד וָטוֹב, וַתַּגְדֵּל חַסְדְּךָ אֲשֶׁר עָשִׂיתָ עִמָּנוּ, לְהַחֲיוֹת אֶת נַפְשֵׁנוּ, וְשָׁלַחְתָּ לָנוּ מוֹשִׁיעַ וָרַב מְשִׁיחַ אֱלֹהֵי יַעֲקֹב וּנְעִים זְמִירוֹת יִשְׂרָאֵל, הוּא דָוִד מֶלֶךְ יִשְׂרָאֵל הַחַי וְקַיָּם,
You gave us ever-greater kindness and goodness. You expanded the kindness that You performed on our behalf to revive our souls, and sent us a redeemer and teacher, “the anointed one of the God of Jacob and the sweet singer of Israel” — David, king of Israel, who lives and endures.
אֲשֶׁר כָּתַב לָנוּ סֵפֶר תְּהִלִּים הַקָּדוֹשׁ וְהַנּוֹרָא, חֲמִשָּׁה סְפָרִים כְּנֶגֶד חֲמִשָּׁה חוּמְשֵׁי תוֹרָה. מָה רַב טוּבְךָ אֲשֶׁר עָשִׂיתָ עִמָּנוּ, מַה נָּשִׁיב לַיהֹוָה כָּל תַּגְמוּלוֹהִי עָלֵינוּ.
He wrote the holy, awesome Book of Psalms on our behalf, in five parts corresponding to the Five Books of the Torah. How great is the goodness that You have performed on our behalf! How shall we repay HaShem for all that He has given us?
וּבְרַחֲמֶיךָ הָרַבִּים גִּלִּיתָ לָנוּ, אֲשֶׁר עַל־יְדֵי אֲמִירַת תְּהִלִּים זוֹכִין לִתְשׁוּבָה, כִּי חָפֵץ חֶסֶד אַתָּה וְרוֹצֶה אַתָּה בִּתְשׁוּבָתָם שֶׁל רְשָׁעִים וְאֵין אַתָּה חָפֵץ בְּמִיתָתָם.
In Your vast compassion, You revealed that when we recite psalms, we attain repentance. You desire kindness. You desire the repentance of the wicked and not their death.
עַל־כֵּן הִקְדַמְתָּ תְּרוּפָה לְמַכּוֹתֵנוּ, וְחוֹנַנְתָּ אוֹתָנוּ בְּסֵפֶר תְּהִלִּים הַקָּדוֹשׁ הַזֶּה, הַפּוֹתֵחַ לָנוּ כָּל שַׁעֲרֵי רַחֲמִים, כָּל שַׁעֲרֵי הַתְּשׁוּבָה, שֶׁהֵם חֲמִשִּׁים שַׁעֲרֵי תְשׁוּבָה כְּנֶגֶד חֲמִשִּׁים שַׁעֲרֵי בִּינָה.
Therefore, You brought us the medicine before the wound by graciously giving us this holy Book of Psalms, which opens to us all of the gates of compassion, all of the gates of repentance, which are the fifty gates of repentance, corresponding to the fifty gates of understanding.
רִבּוֹנוֹ שֶׁל עוֹלָם, אָב הָרַחֲמָן, זַכֵּנוּ בְּרַחֲמֶיךָ הָרַבִּים שֶׁנִּזְכֶּה לַעֲסֹק בַּאֲמִירַת תְּהִלִּים כָּל יָמֵינוּ.
Master of the world, compassionate Father, in Your vast compassion help us recite psalms all of our days.
וְתַעַזְרֵנוּ אוֹתִי וְאֶת כָּל בְּנֵי בֵיתִי בִּכְלַל יִשְׂרָאֵל עַמֶּךָ, שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה בְּכָל יוֹם וָיוֹם לוֹמַר תְּהִלִּים הַרְבֵּה בְּהִתְעוֹרְרוּת גָּדוֹל בְּלֵב שָׁלֵם בֶּאֱמֶת,
Help me and everyone in my family, as part of Your nation of Israel, recite many psalms with great feeling, with a truly whole heart, every single day.
וְאֶזְכֶּה לְהַטּוֹת לְבָבִי הֵיטֵב לְהַשְׁמִיעַ לְאָזְנַי מַה שֶּׁאֲנִי מוֹצִיא בְּפִי, בְּאֹפֶן שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה לִמְצֹא עַצְמִי בְּכָל דַּרְגָא וְדַרְגָא בְּתוֹךְ פְּסוּקֵי תְּהִלִּים הַקְּדוֹשִׁים הַכְּלוּלִים מִכָּל נִשְׁמוֹת יִשְׂרָאֵל, וּמִכָּל הַמַּדְרֵגוֹת שֶׁבָּעוֹלָם, מִן תַּכְלִית מַדְרֵגָה הָעֶלְיוֹנָה עַד תַּכְלִית דְּיוּטָא הַתַּחְתּוֹנָה,
May I focus my heart well so that my ears will hear what my mouth is saying, so I will find every level of myself within the holy verses of psalms, which are composed of all of the souls of Israel and of all levels, from the highest to the lowest.
אֲשֶׁר כָּל הַנּוֹפְלִים וְהָרְחוֹקִים בְּתַכְלִית הָרִחוּק, כֻּלָּם יְכוֹלִים לִמְצֹא אֶת עַצְמָם בְּתוֹךְ סֵפֶר תְּהִלִּים.
Even those who have fallen to the most distant places can find themselves in the Book of Psalms.
וְכָל אֶחָד יָכוֹל לְעוֹרֵר לְבָבוֹ לָשׁוּב בִּתְשׁוּבָה שְׁלֵמָה לְהַשֵּׁם יִתְבָּרַךְ עַל־יְדֵי אֲמִירַת תְּהִלִּים, וְלָבוֹא לְהַשַּׁעַר שֶׁל תְּשׁוּבָה הַשַּׁיָּךְ לוֹ שֶׁהוּא מְכֻוָּן כְּנֶגֶד הָאוֹת שֶׁלּוֹ שֶׁיֵּשׁ לוֹ בְּמ"ט אוֹתִיּוֹת שֶׁל שְׁמוֹת שִׁבְטֵי־יָהּ,
Everyone can arouse his heart to return to HaShem in complete repentance as a result of reciting psalms, and to reach his own gate of repentance, which resonates to his letter of the forty-nine letters of the names of the tribes of God.
שֶׁהֵם מ"ט אוֹתִיּוֹת כְּנֶגֶד מ"ט שַׁעֲרֵי תְּשׁוּבָה שֶׁאָנוּ צְרִיכִים לָשׁוּב עַל־יָדָם לְהַשֵּׁם יִתְבָּרַךְ,
These forty-nine letters correspond to the forty-nine gates of repentance, through which we return to HaShem.
עַד שֶׁנִּזְכֶּה עַל־יְדֵי זֶה שֶׁהַשֵּׁם יִתְבָּרַךְ יָשׁוּב אֵלֵינוּ בִּתְשׁוּבָה שְׁלֵמָה, לְרַחֵם עָלֵינוּ בַּחֲסָדִים רַבִּים וְרַחֲמִים גְּדוֹלִים,
As a result, may HaShem return to us completely, with great compassion and vast kindness.
לְסַיְּעֵנוּ וּלְעָזְרֵנוּ בְּכָל־עֵת לְהִתְקָרֵב אֵלָיו יִתְבָּרַךְ תָּמִיד, מִכָּל הַמְּקוֹמוֹת שֶׁנָּפַלְנוּ בָּהֶם, וְלָשׁוּב אֵלָיו בִּתְשׁוּבָה שְׁלֵמָה, תְּשׁוּבָה עַל תְּשׁוּבָה תָמִיד:
May He assist and help us to constantly come close to Him from wherever we fell. May we return to Him with complete repentance — repentance upon repentance, continually.
אָנָּא אָבִי אָב הָרַחֲמָן. כָּל דַּרְכֵי עֵצוֹתֶיךָ אֲשֶׁר גִּלִּיתָ לָנוּ עַל־יְדֵי צַדִּיקֶיךָ הָאֲמִתִּיִּים, בְּכֻלָּם פָּגַמְתִּי בָּהֶם הַרְבֵּה כַּאֲשֶׁר אַתָּה יָדַעְתָּ,
Bring Me Salvation
My compassionate Father, You know how I have deeply compromised all of the ways of Your counsel that You revealed to us through Your true Tzaddikim.
אֲבָל אֲנִי יוֹדֵעַ וּמַאֲמִין בֶּאֱמוּנָה שְׁלֵמָה, שֶׁבֶּאֱמֶת אִי־אֶפְשָׁר לְקַלְקֵל עֵצוֹתֶיךָ בְּשׁוּם אֹפֶן בָּעוֹלָם.
But I know [and believe] with complete faith that it is absolutely impossible to damage Your counsel.
עַל־כֵּן עֲדַיִן אֲנִי עוֹמֵד וּמְצַפֶּה לִישׁוּעָה שְׁלֵמָה בְּכָל־עֵת, שֶׁתְּקָרְבֵנִי אֵלֶיךָ וְתַחֲזִירֵנִי בִּתְשׁוּבָה שְׁלֵמָה לְפָנֶיךָ, עַל־יְדֵי כָּל הַדְּרָכִים וְהָעֵצוֹת הַנִּפְלָאוֹת וְהַנּוֹרָאוֹת הַתְּמִימוֹת וְהַפְּשׁוּטוֹת, אֲשֶׁר גִּלִּיתָ לָנוּ עַל־יְדֵי צַדִּיקֶיךָ הָאֲמִתִּיִּים, בְּאֹפֶן שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה מֵעַתָּה לִהְיוֹת כִּרְצוֹנְךָ הַטּוֹב תָּמִיד:
Therefore, I still await and anticipate a complete salvation at every moment. I wait for You to bring me close to You and return me to You in complete repentance by means of all of the wondrous and awesome, perfect and simple ways and counsels that You revealed to us through Your true Tzaddikim, so that from now on I will always be in accordance with Your good will.
רִבּוֹנוֹ שֶׁל עוֹלָם, זַכֵּנִי לִהְיוֹת רָגִיל מְאֹד בַּאֲמִירַת תְּהִלִּים הַרְבֵּה בְּכָל יוֹם בְּכַוָּנָה גְּדוֹלָה, בְּהִתְעוֹרְרוּת נִפְלָא, בְּכַוָּנַת הַלֵּב בֶּאֱמֶת, עַד שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה עַל־יְדֵי־זֶה לְהַרְגִּישׁ כְּאֵב עֲוֹנוֹתַי, וְלָשׁוּב עֲלֵיהֶם בִּתְשׁוּבָה שְׁלֵמָה.
Master of the world, help me regularly recite many psalms every day with great concentration, with prodigious feeling, with the true attention of my heart, until I will feel the pain of my sins and repent for them completely.
וְאֶזְכֶּה לְשִׂמְחָה גְּדוֹלָה עַל־יְדֵי אֲמִירַת תְּהִלִּים, וּלְעוֹרֵר עָלַי כָּל הָעֲשָׂרָה מִינֵי נְגִינָה שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר בָּהֶם סֵפֶר תְּהִלִּים, שֶׁהֵם רְפוּאַת הַבַּת מֶלֶךְ, שֶׁהִיא כְּנֶסֶת יִשְׂרָאֵל, וּנְגִינוֹתַי אֲנַגֵּן כָּל יְמֵי חַיַּי עַל בֵּית יְהֹוָה בְּקוֹל רִנָּה וְתוֹדָה, כִּי טוֹב יְהֹוָה כִּי לְעוֹלָם חַסְדּוֹ:
May I attain great joy as a result of reciting psalms. May I arouse the ten types of melody of which the Book of Psalms is composed, which heal the “King’s daughter” — the Congregation of Israel — and sing melodies all of the days of my life about the House of HaShem in a voice of joy and thanks: “HaShem is good; His kindness is forever.”
מָלֵא רַחֲמִים, זַכֵּנוּ לָצֵאת מִגָּלוּת מִצְרַיִם, וּמִכָּל הַגָּלֻיּוֹת שֶׁל הַנֶּפֶשׁ וְהַגּוּף אֲשֶׁר כֻּלָּם מְכוּנִים בְּשֵׁם גָּלוּת מִצְרַיִם.
You Who are filled with compassion, help me emerge from all exiles of soul and body, which are called the exile of Egypt.
זַכֵּנִי שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה לְטַהֵר וּלְזַכֵּךְ וּלְגַלּוֹת כָּל הַמ"ט שַׁעֲרֵי תְשׁוּבָה עַל־יְדֵי אֲמִירַת תְּהִלִּים הַכּוֹלֵל אֶת כָּל שְׁמוֹת בְּנֵי־יִשְׂרָאֵל הַבָּאִים מִצְרָיְמָה, שֶׁיֵּשׁ בָּהֶם מ"ט אוֹתִיּוֹת כְּנֶגֶד מ"ט שַׁעֲרֵי תְשׁוּבָה,
Help me purify, refine and reveal all fortynine gates of repentance as a result of reciting psalms, which include all of the “names of the children of Israel coming to Egypt” that are comprised of forty-nine letters, corresponding to the forty-nine gates of repentance.
וְעַל־יְדֵי־זֶה תּוֹצִיאֵנִי מִמ"ט שַׁעֲרֵי טֻמְאָה וְתַכְנִיסֵנִי בְּתוֹךְ מ"ט שַׁעֲרֵי קְדֻשָּׁה, וְתוֹצִיאֵנִי מִמֵּצַר הַגָּרוֹן, שֶׁלֹּא יִהְיֶה נִחַר גְּרוֹנִי, כִּי כְּבָר קְרָאתִיךָ מִמֵּצַר הַגָּרוֹן הַרְבֵּה.
In this way, bring me out of the forty-nine gates of uncleanness and into the forty-nine gates of holiness. Take me out of the “narrowness of the throat,” so that my throat will not be hoarse as a result of having called out to You so much from the narrowness of the throat.
הוֹצִיאֵנִי לַמֶּרְחָב וְזַכֵּנִי וְהַעֲלֵנִי מִבְּחִינַת אֶרֶץ מִצְרַיִם מִמֵּצַר הַגָּרוֹן, עַד שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה לְהַרְחִיב פִּי וְאַתָּה תְּמַלְּאֵהוּ בְּכָל טוּב אֲמִתִּי וְנִצְחִי, בְּאֹפֶן שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה לְהִתְקָרֵב וְלָשׁוּב אֵלֶיךָ בִּתְשׁוּבָה שְׁלֵמָה בֶּאֱמֶת בְּכָל לֵב בְּגוּף וָנֶפֶשׁ וּמָמוֹן,
Bring me out to expansiveness. Raise me from the “land of Egypt,” from the “narrowness of the throat,” so that I will open my mouth and You will fill it with all true and eternal good. Then I will truly come close to You and return to You in complete and wholehearted repentance, with my body, soul and financial affairs.
הֲשִׁיבֵנִי וְאָשׁוּבָה כִּי אַתָּה יְהֹוָה אֱלֹהָי. הֲשִׁיבֵנוּ אָבִינוּ לְתוֹרָתֶךָ וְקָרְבֵנוּ מַלְכֵּנוּ לַעֲבוֹדָתֶךָ, וְהַחֲזִירֵנוּ בִּתְשׁוּבָה שְׁלֵמָה לְפָנֶיךָ, כִּי אַתָּה צוֹפֶה לָרָשָׁע וְחָפֵץ בְּהִצָּדְקוֹ, וְרוֹצֶה אַתָּה בִּתְשׁוּבָה, כִּי לֹא תַחְפֹּץ בְּמוֹת הַמֵּת כִּי אִם בְּשׁוּבוֹ מִדְּרָכָיו וְחָיָה, וְעַד יוֹם מוֹתוֹ תְּחַכֶּה לוֹ, אִם יָשׁוּב מִיַּד תְּקַבְּלוֹ,
“Bring me back and I will return, for You are [HaShem] my God.” Bring us back, our Father, to Your Torah, and bring us close, our King, to serve You. Return us to You in complete repentance. You look to the wicked person and desire his vindication. You desire repentance. “You do not desire the death of a person who dies,” “but that he will repent of his deeds and live.” You wait for him until the day of his death, and if he repents, You immediately accept him.
תָּשֵׁב אֶנוֹשׁ עַד דַּכָּא עַד דִּכְדוּכָהּ שֶׁל נֶפֶשׁ, וַתֹּאמֶר שׁוּבוּ בְּנֵי אָדָם. שׁוּבֵנוּ אֱלֹהֵי יִשְׁעֵנוּ וְהָפֵר כַּעַסְךָ עִמָּנוּ, הֲשִׁיבֵנוּ יְהֹוָה אֵלֶיךָ וְנָשׁוּבָה חַדֵּשׁ יָמֵינוּ כְּקֶדֶם:
“You press a man down until his soul is crushed, and You say, ‘Return, sons of man!’” Bring us back, God of our salvation. Turn back Your anger against us. “Return us to You, HaShem, and we will return; renew our days as of old.”
רִבּוֹנוֹ שֶׁל עוֹלָם, זְכוֹר רַחֲמֶיךָ יְהֹוָה וַחֲסָדֶיךָ כִּי מֵעוֹלָם הֵמָּה. זְכוֹר נָא הַחֶסֶד הַנִּפְלָא וְהַנּוֹרָא אֲשֶׁר עָשִׂיתָ עִמָּנוּ, אֲשֶׁר הוֹצֵאתָנוּ מִמִּצְרַיִם בְּכֹחַ גָּדוֹל וּבְיָד חֲזָקָה,
Counting the Omer
Master of the world, “recall Your compassion, HaShem, and Your kindness, which are eternal.” Please recall the wondrous and awesome kindness that You performed on our behalf when You brought us out of Egypt with great might and a strong hand.
וְגִּלִּיתָ לָנוּ אֲמִתַּת אֱמוּנַת אֱלָהוּתְךָ בְּאוֹר גָּדוֹל וְנִפְלָא וְנֶעֱרָב, וְעָשִׂיתָ אוֹתוֹת וּמוֹפְתִים גְּדוֹלִים וְנוֹרָאִים, כְּדֵי לְגַלּוֹת אֱלָהוּתְךָ וְאַחְדּוּתְךָ וּמֶמְשַׁלְתְּךָ אֲשֶׁר בַּכֹּל מָשָׁלָה.
You revealed to us the truth of the faith in Your Godliness with a great, wondrous and sweet light. You performed great and awesome signs and miracles in order to reveal Your Godliness, Your Oneness and Your absolute sovereignty.
וּמֵאָז קֵרַבְתָּ אוֹתָנוּ לְךָ לְעַם קָדוֹשׁ, וְהוֹצֵאתָ אוֹתָנוּ מִמ"ט שַׁעֲרֵי טֻמְאָה, וְהִכְנַסְתָּ אוֹתָנוּ בְּמ"ט שַׁעֲרֵי קְדֻשָּׁה, שֶׁהֵם מ"ט שַׁעֲרֵי תְשׁוּבָה הַכְּלוּלִים בְּמ"ט אוֹתִיּוֹת שֶׁיֵּשׁ בִּשְׁמוֹת שִׁבְטֵי־יָהּ.
Afterward, You brought us close to You as a holy people. You took us out of the fortynine gates of uncleanness and brought us into the forty-nine gates of holiness — which are the forty-nine gates of repentance that are associated with the forty-nine letters of the names of the tribes of God.
וּבְרַחֲמֶיךָ הָרַבִּים צִוִּיתָ אוֹתָנוּ לִסְפֹּר כְּנֶגֶד זֶה מ"ט יְמֵי הַסְּפִירָה, כְּדֵי לְטַהֵר נַפְשׁוֹת עַמְּךָ יִשְׂרָאֵל מִזֻּהֲמָתָם,
In Your vast compassion, You commanded us to count the corresponding forty-nine days of sefirah, in order to purify the polluted souls of Your nation, the Jewish people.
לְמַעַן נִזְכֶּה עַל־יְדֵי מִצְוַת סְפִירַת הָעוֹמֶר לָצֵאת מִטֻּמְאָה לְטָהֳרָה, לָצֵאת מִמ"ט שַׁעֲרֵי טֻמְאָה וְלִכְנוֹס בְּמ"ט שַׁעֲרֵי קְדֻשָּׁה.
Then, as a result of the mitzvah of Counting the Omer, we can emerge from uncleanness to purity, leaving the forty-nine gates of uncleanness behind and entering the forty-nine gates of holiness.
רִבּוֹנוֹ שֶׁל עוֹלָם, מָלֵא רַחֲמִים, זַכֵּנוּ בַּחֲסָדֶיךָ הָעֲצוּמִים לְקַיֵּם מִצְוַת סְפִירַת הָעוֹמֶר בִּזְמַנּוֹ בִּקְדֻשָּׁה גְּדוֹלָה וּבְהִתְעוֹרְרוּת נִפְלָא וְנוֹרָא,
Master of the world, You Who are filled with compassion, in Your intense kindness help me fulfill the mitzvah of Counting the Omer in a timely fashion, with great holiness and with wondrous and awesome enthusiasm.
שֶׁנִּזְכֶּה לְהִתְעוֹרֵר עַל־יְדֵי קְדֻשַּׁת מִצְוָה נוֹרָאָה הַזֹּאת לָשׁוּב אֵלֶיךָ בֶּאֱמֶת, וְלָצֵאת מִכָּל טֻמְאוֹתֵינוּ, לְבָעֵר מִקִּרְבֵּנוּ כָּל מִינֵי טֻמְאוֹת וְזֻהֲמוֹת שֶׁנִּדְבַּק בָּנוּ עַל־יְדֵי מַעֲשֵׂינוּ הָרָעִים.
As a result of the holiness of this awesome mitzvah, may we wake up and truly return to You, and emerge from all of our uncleanness. May we expunge every kind of uncleanness and pollution that clings to us as a result of our evil deeds.
רִבּוֹנוֹ שֶׁל עוֹלָם, רִבּוֹנוֹ שֶׁל עוֹלָם, הוֹשִׁיעֵנוּ בְּכָל מִינֵי יְשׁוּעוֹת. כִּי אַתָּה יוֹדֵעַ הַכֹּחַ שֶׁל כָּל מִצְוָה וּמִצְוָה, כַּמָּה גָדוֹל כֹּחָהּ לְהוֹצִיא אוֹתָנוּ מִמְּקוֹמוֹת שֶׁנָּפַלְנוּ לְשָׁם בַּעֲוֹנוֹתֵינוּ הָרַבִּים וּלְקָרְבֵנוּ אֵלֶיךָ,
Master of the world, Master of the world, save us with every type of salvation. You know the power of every mitzvah, its great ability to extract us from the places into which we have fallen due to our many sins, and to bring us close to You.
וּבִפְרָט מִצְוָה הַזֹּאת שֶׁל סְפִירַת הָעוֹמֶר, שֶׁהִיא הֲכָנָה לְקַבָּלַת הַתּוֹרָה, שֶׁהִיא תְחִלַּת הִתְקָרְבוּת יִשְׂרָאֵל לַאֲבִיהֶם שֶׁבַּשָּׁמַיִם,
This is particularly true of the mitzvah of Counting the Omer, which prepares us to receive the Torah, which marks the beginning of the Jewish people’s coming close to their Father in Heaven.
אֲשֶׁר נָתַתָּ לָּנוּ מִצְוָה הַקְּדוֹשָׁה הַזֹּאת כְּדֵי לָצֵאת מִמ"ט שַׁעֲרֵי טֻמְאָה וְלִכְנֹס לְמ"ט שַׁעֲרֵי הַקְּדֻשָּׁה. זַכֵּנִי בַּמָּקוֹם שֶׁאֲנִי שָׁם עַכְשָׁיו, שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה לְקַיֵּם מִצְוָה הַזֹּאת בְּתַכְלִית הַשְּׁלֵמוּת הָאֶפְשָׁרִי לְאִישׁ כְּעֶרְכִּי לְקַיֵּם מִצְוָה הַזֹּאת.
You gave us this holy mitzvah so that we may emerge from the forty-nine gates of uncleanness and enter the forty-nine gates of holiness. Help me keep this mitzvah from where I stand now, with the greatest perfection possible for a person like me.
וְאַתָּה תִמָּלֵא רַחֲמִים עָלַי, וְתַעַזְרֵנִי וְתוֹשִׁיעֵנִי עַל־יְדֵי־זֶה, וְתוֹצִיאֵנִי מְהֵרָה מִטֻּמְאָה לְטָהֳרָה, מֵחֹל לְקֹדֶשׁ, מִיָּגוֹן לְשִׂמְחָה, מִשִּׁעְבּוּד לִגְאֻלָּה, וּמֵאֲפֵלָה לְאוֹר גָּדוֹל.
Be filled with compassion on my behalf. Help me and save me as a result of my keeping this mitzvah, and quickly bring me out from uncleanness to purity, from the mundane to the holy, from sadness to joy, from subjugation to redemption, and from darkness to a great light.
עַד אֲשֶׁר נִזְכֶּה בְּחַג הַשָּׁבוּעוֹת הַקָּדוֹשׁ, בְּיוֹם הַחֲמִשִּׁים, שֶׁאַתָּה תָשׁוּב אֵלֵינוּ וְתִפְתַּח לָנוּ שַׁעַר הַחֲמִשִּׁים הַקָּדוֹשׁ, וְתַשְׁפִּיעַ עָלֵינוּ רַחֲמִים גְּדוֹלִים וְחֶסֶד עֶלְיוֹן מִשָּׁם, בְּאֹפֶן שֶׁנִּזְכֶּה לְתַקֵּן הַכֹּל וְלָשׁוּב אֵלֶיךָ בֶּאֱמֶת תָמִיד:
On the holy festival of Shavuot, which is the fiftieth day, return to us and open the holy fiftieth gate for us. Pour great compassion and supernal kindness onto us from that gate, so that we will rectify everything and truly return to You always.
רִבּוֹנוֹ שֶׁל עוֹלָם, צוֹפֶה וּמַבִּיט עַד סוֹף כָּל הַדּוֹרוֹת, חוֹשֵׁב מַחֲשָׁבוֹת לְבַל יִדַּח מִמְּךָ נִדָּח. אַתָּה יוֹדֵעַ תֹּקֶף מְרִירוּת הַגָּלוּת הָאַחֲרוֹן הַזֶּה לְהֵיכָן נָפַלְנוּ וְיָרַדְנוּ בַּעֲוֹנוֹתֵינוּ הָרַבִּים, אֲשֶׁר יְרִידָתֵינוּ עֲמֻקָּה יוֹתֵר מִמ"ט שַׁעֲרֵי טֻמְאָה.
Emerging from This Bitter Exile
Master of the world, You Who gaze and look to the end of all generations, You Who think thoughts so that no one will remain cast away from You, You know the acute bitterness of this last exile, the level to which we have fallen and descended due to our many sins, a descent deeper than the forty-nine gates of uncleanness.
וּבַעֲוֹנוֹתֵינוּ הָרַבִּים נֶאֱמַר עָלֵינוּ עַל עֵת צָרָה הַזֹּאת: וַתֵּרֶד פְּלָאִים אֵין מְנַחֵם לָהּ. כִּי טָבַעְנוּ בִּיוֵן מְצוּלָה וְאֵין מָעֳמָד בָּאנוּ בְמַעֲמַקֵּי מַיִם וְשִׁבֹּלֶת שְׁטָפָתְנוּ.
Because of our many sins, in this troubled time “[we] have descended shockingly, with no one to console [us].” We have sunken “into the muddy depths and cannot stand.” We have entered into the depths of the water and the waves have washed over us.
הַבֵּט יָמִין וּרְאֵה וְאֵין לִי מַכִּיר, אָבַד מָנוֹס מִמֶּנִּי אֵין דּוֹרֵשׁ לְנַפְשִׁי. חָזַרְתִּי עַל כָּל הַצְּדָדִים וִישׁוּעָה רָחֲקָה מִמֶּנִּי, וּמָה אוֹמַר וַעֲוֹנוֹתַי עָשׂוּ לִי מַה שֶּׁעָשׂוּ,
“Gazing to the right, I see that no one knows me. My refuge is gone; no one seeks my soul.” I have turned in every direction, but salvation is far from me. What can I say? My sins have deeply affected me.
לוּלֵי תוֹרָתְךָ שַׁעֲשֻׁעָי אָז אָבַדְתִּי בְעָנְיִי. כִּי חַסְדְּךָ גָּדוֹל עָלֵינוּ וְהִצַּלְתָּ נַפְשֵׁנוּ מִשְּׁאוֹל תַּחְתִּיָּה. כִּי הַאַף אֻמְנָם זֶה הַגָּלוּת הָאַחֲרוֹן הִכְבִּיד, כִּי נָפַלְנוּ וְיָרַדְנוּ לְמָקוֹם שֶׁיָּרַדְנוּ יוֹתֵר וְיוֹתֵר מִגָּלוּת מִצְרַיִם,
“If Your Torah had not been my delight, I would have perished in my affliction.” “Your kindness to us is great and You have rescued our soul from the lowest Sheol.” For indeed, this last exile has been taxing because we have fallen and descended further than we did in the exile of Egypt.
אֲבָל זֹאת נֶחָמָתֵנוּ בְעָנְיֵינוּ כִּי אִמְרָתְךָ חִיָּתְנוּ. כִּי כְבָר הִקְדַמְתָּ תְרוּפָה לְמַכּוֹתֵנוּ, כִּי כְּבָר נָתַתָּ לָנוּ תוֹרָתְךָ הַקְּדוֹשָׁה עַל־יְדֵי מֹשֶׁה נְבִיאֶךָ, אֲשֶׁר בְּגָלוּת מִצְרַיִם לֹא זָכִינוּ לָזֶה עֲדַיִן, וְיָצָאנוּ מִשָּׁם קֹדֶם קַבָּלַת הַתּוֹרָה כְּעַבְדָּא דְבָרַח מֵרִבּוֹנֵיהּ, שֶׁזֶּה גָרַם לָנוּ מַה שֶּׁגָּרַם לָנוּ.
This is our consolation in our impoverished state: that Your word has revived us. For You brought the medicine before our wound, giving us Your holy Torah through Moses Your prophet. In the exile of Egypt, we had not yet attained this. We left before receiving the Torah, like a slave fleeing from his master, and that caused subsequent problems.
אֲבָל עַתָּה כְּבָר הִפְלֵאתָ חַסְדְּךָ עִמָּנוּ, וְנָתַתָּ לָנוּ כְּבָר תּוֹרָתְךָ הַקְּדוֹשָׁה עַל־יְדֵי מֹשֶׁה נְבִיאֶךָ נֶאֱמַן בֵּיתֶךָ,
But now You have already performed wondrous kindness on our behalf. You have already given us Your holy Torah through Moses Your prophet, the faithful one of Your house.
וּכְבָר זָכִינוּ שֶׁהָיָה לָנוּ כַּמָּה וְכַמָּה צַדִּיקִים גְּדוֹלִים וְנוֹרָאִים בְּכָל דּוֹר וָדוֹר, וְגַם זָכִינוּ לְסֵפֶר תְּהִלִּים הַקָּדוֹשׁ עַל־יְדֵי דָוִד מֶלֶךְ יִשְׂרָאֵל.
And we have merited a number of great and awesome Tzaddikim in every generation, and we also attained the holy Book of Psalms from David, king of Israel.
אֲבָל הָאֱמֶת אֲנִי מוֹדֶה וּמִתְוַדֶּה לְפָנֶיךָ יְהֹוָה אֱלֹהַי וֵאלֹהֵי אֲבוֹתַי, כִּי אַף־עַל־פִּי־כֵן עֲדַיִן אֲנִי מִבַּחוּץ לְגַמְרֵי, וַעֲדַיִן לֹא יָצָאתִי מִן הַחֹל אֶל הַקֹּדֶשׁ כְּלָל,
However, I admit the truth, confessing before You, HaShem my God and God of my fathers, that nevertheless, I remain entirely on the outside, and have not yet emerged at all from the mundane to the holy.
יוֹם יוֹם אוֹמַר מַה יְּהֵא בְּסוֹפִי, קַוֵּה לְשָׁלוֹם וְאֵין טוֹב, לְעֵת מַרְפֵּא וְהִנֵּה בְעָתָה, כָּלוּ כָל הַקִּיצִים שֶׁהָיִיתִי מְצַפֶּה לְהִוָּשַׁע בָּהֶם וַעֲדַיִן לֹא נוֹשָׁעְתִּי.
Every day I ask, “What will my end be?” “We hope for peace but there is no goodness, and for a time of healing, but behold, there is fright.” All of the signposts indicating our salvation that I looked forward to have passed by, and still I have not been saved.
וְלֹא דַי לִי בָּזֶה, כִּי אִם עוֹד הוֹסַפְתִּי חֵטְא עַל פֶּשַׁע, פְּשָׁעִים עַל פְּשָׁעִים גְּדוֹלִים וְנוֹרָאִים, אוֹי וַאֲבוֹי,
Not only that, but I have added transgression to trespass, great and terrible offenses to my previous offenses — woe!
לֹא יָדַעְתִּי נַפְשִׁי אֵיךְ אֲנִי חַי בָּעוֹלָם בִּמְרִירוּת דִּמְרִירוּת כָּזֶה, בְּפִזּוּר הַנֶּפֶשׁ מַר מִמָּוֶת כָּזֶה, בִּנְפִילוֹת וְהַשְׁלָכוֹת וּזְרִיקוֹת כָּאֵלֶּה,
I do not know how I continue to live in such a completely bitter state, with my soul so bewildered, feeling more bitter than death, cast down, rebuffed and rejected.
אֲשֶׁר בְּכָל עֵת אֲנִי עוֹלֶה שָׁמַיִם וְיוֹרֵד תְּהוֹמוֹת עֲמֻקּוֹת, וְהִשְׁלַכְתִּי עַצְמִי מִשָּׁמַיִם לָאָרֶץ מִתַּחַת, אֲלָפִים וּרְבָבוֹת פְּעָמִים בְּלִי מִסְפָּר, וּמְקַלְּעִים אֶת נַפְשִׁי כְּמוֹ בְּתוֹךְ כַּף הַקֶּלַע,
I constantly rise to Heaven and then descend into profound depths. I am cast down from Heaven to earth thousands and tens of thousands of times without number. My soul is shot about as “in the pocket of the sling.”
עַד אֲשֶׁר אָפְסוּ הַדִּבּוּרִים וְהַצֵּרוּפֵי אוֹתִיּוֹת לְסַפֵּר מְצוּקוֹתַי וּמְרִירוֹתַי, אוֹי וַאֲבוֹי, כִּי נִכְסַפְתִּי עַל־כָּל־פָּנִים, לְקָרֵר מַר רוּחִי וּלְפָרֵשׁ שִׂיחָתִי, וְגַם זֶה קָשֶׁה וְכָבֵד עָלַי, יָדִי כָּבְדָה עַל אַנְחָתִי,
I have run out of words and combinations of letters to relate my oppression and bitterness. Woe! Woe! At the very least, I had yearned to mitigate the bitterness of my spirit and express my speech. But even this is too difficult and onerous for me. “My hand is heavy from sighing.”
כִּי לֹא יַסְפִּיקוּ כָּל עוֹרוֹת אֵילֵי נְבָיוֹת לְבָאֵר בָּהֶם עַד הֵיכָן מַגִּיעִים הַפְּגָמִים שֶׁלָּנוּ שֶׁל יוֹם אֶחָד, וַאֲפִלּוּ שֶׁל שָׁעָה אַחַת:
All of the hides of the “rams of Nebayot” would not suffice as parchment on which to write the effects of our blemishes of one day, or even of one hour.
רִבּוֹנוֹ שֶׁל עוֹלָם, זֹאת נֶחָמָתִי בְעָנְיִי מַה שֶּׁחִזְּקוּ אוֹתָנוּ הַצַּדִּיקִים אֲמִתִּיִּים, בְּשִׁבְעָה מְשִׁיבֵי טָעַם, וְגִלּוּ לָנוּ שֶׁאֵין שׁוּם יֵאוּשׁ בָּעוֹלָם כְּלָל,
Save Me with Your Holy Counsel
Master of the world, “this is my consolation in my affliction”: that the true Tzaddikim have encouraged us “more than seven men who give advice” and revealed to us that there is no despair in the world at all.
עַל זֶה לְבַד תָּמַכְתִּי יְתֵדוֹתַי, וְעַל כֹּחָם הַגָּדוֹל נִשְׁעָנְתִּי לְצַפּוֹת לִישׁוּעָה עֲדַיִן מִמָּקוֹם שֶׁאֲנִי שָׁם.
This alone has secured me. Relying on in their great strength, I gaze hopefully for salvation from where I am.
עַל־כֵּן בְּכָל עֵת אֲבַקֵּשׁ אוֹתְךָ מָלֵא רַחֲמִים, שֶׁתּוֹשִׁיעֵנִי בְּכָל דַּרְכֵי עֵצוֹתֶיךָ הַקְּדוֹשִׁים אֲשֶׁר גִּלִּיתָ לָנוּ עַל־יְדֵי צַדִּיקֶיךָ הָאֲמִתִּיִּים, אֲשֶׁר כָּל עֵצָה וְעֵצָה יֵשׁ לָהּ כֹּחַ לַעֲזוֹר וּלְהוֹשִׁיעַ גַּם אוֹתִי.
I constantly expect You Who are filled with compassion to save me with all of the holy ways of Your counsel that You revealed to us through Your true Tzaddikim. Every piece of advice has the power to help me and save me.
וְאִם בַּעֲוֹנוֹתַי הָרַבִּים קִלְקַלְתִּי כֻלָּם, אֲנִי יוֹדֵעַ וּמַאֲמִין שֶׁיֵּשׁ לְךָ עוֹד רַחֲמִים רַבִּים וְהַצָּלוֹת וִישׁוּעוֹת וְעֵצוֹת נִפְלָאוֹת אֲשֶׁר גִּלִּיתָ לָהֶם לְבַד, אֲשֶׁר לֹא גִּלּוּ אוֹתָם עֲדַיִן בָּעוֹלָם,
And even if I damaged them all with my many sins, I know and believe that You have more vast compassion and means of rescue, salvation and wondrous counsel that You disclosed to them alone, which they have not yet revealed to the world.
אֲשֶׁר עַל־יָדָם יֵשׁ לִי תִקְוָה עֲדַיִן, שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה לָשׁוּב אֵלֶיךָ וּלְהַתְחִיל מֵחָדָשׁ לְקַיֵּם עֵצוֹתֶיךָ הַקְּדוֹשׁוֹת כֻּלָּם בְּאַהֲבָה וּבְיִרְאָה, בְּאֹפֶן שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה לְתַקֵּן הַכֹּל בְּחַיַּי מְהֵרָה וְלִהְיוֹת כִּרְצוֹנְךָ הַטּוֹב תָּמִיד:
Through this advice, I still have hope that I will return to You and begin anew to keep all of Your holy advice with love and fear, so that I will quickly rectify everything in my life and always be in accordance with Your good will.
רִבּוֹנוֹ שֶׁל עוֹלָם, בִּלְעֲדֵי אֶחֱזֶה אַתָּה הוֹרֵנִי, כִּי אֲנִי בַעַר וְלֹא אֵדָע, בְּהֵמוֹת הָיִיתִי עִמָּךְ. וְאִם אָמְנָם בַּעֲוֹנוֹתַי הָרַבִּים פָּגַמְתִּי וְקִלְקַלְתִּי הַרְבֵּה בַּמֶּה שֶׁיָּדַעְתִּי שֶׁהוּא נֶגֶד רְצוֹנְךָ,
Master of the world, “besides what I see, You instruct me.” For “I am a beast and do not know, I have been an animal with You.” With my many sins, I blemished and damaged a great deal by engaging in ways that I knew to be against Your will.
כִּי חָטָאתִי עָוִיתִי וּפָשַׁעְתִּי הַרְבֵּה בְּכָל יוֹם וּבְכָל־עֵת וּבְכָל שָׁעָה מִנְּעוּרַי עַד הַיּוֹם הַזֶּה, וּפָגַמְתִּי וְקִלְקַלְתִּי הַרְבֵּה מְאֹד.
I transgressed, sinned and offended a great deal every day, every hour and every moment, from my youth until this day. I blemished and damaged a very great deal.
עִם כָּל זֶה בְּרַחֲמֶיךָ הָרַבִּים גִּלִּיתָ לָנוּ עַל־יְדֵי צַדִּיקֶיךָ הָאֲמִתִּיִּים, כִּי אַתָּה יְהֹוָה אֱלֹהַי גָדַלְתָּ מְאֹד, אֲשֶׁר אֵין אָנוּ יוֹדְעִים כְּלָל, כִּי לִגְדֻלָּתְךָ אֵין חֵקֶר,
Nevertheless, in Your vast compassion, You revealed to us through Your true Tzaddikim that “HaShem my God, You are exceedingly great.” We do not know anything at all, for there is no limit to Your greatness.
אֲשֶׁר אֲפִלּוּ נְפִילָתֵנוּ אֵיךְ שֶׁנָּפַלְנוּ כָּל אֶחָד וְאֶחָד לְהֵיכָן שֶׁנָּפַל, אַף־עַל־פִּי־כֵן גְּדֻלָּתְךָ שָׂגְבָה מְאֹד, אֲשֶׁר יֵשׁ עִנְיָן שֶׁשָּׁם נִשְׁתַּנָּה הַכֹּל לְגַמְרֵי לְטוֹבָה,
Despite our falls, each individual to where he fell, Your greatness is exceedingly elevated, and there is a way in which everything is totally transformed to the good.
כִּי אֵין אִתָּנוּ יוֹדְעִים עַד מָה, וְעַל זֶה לְבַד אֲנִי נִשְׁעָן וְנִתְלָה וְנִסְמַךְ עֲדַיִן, כִּי חַסְדֵּי יְהֹוָה לֹא תָמְנוּ, וְלֹא כָלוּ רַחֲמָיו לְעוֹלָם:
None of us knows anything of this. On this alone I rely, depend and am supported still, for the kindness of HaShem has not ended and His compassion has never ceased.
מָלֵא רַחֲמִים, זַכֵּנִי לְהַרְבּוֹת בַּאֲמִירַת תְּהִלִּים בְּכַוָּנָה גְּדוֹלָה וּבְהִתְעוֹרְרוּת נִפְלָא בְּלֵב שָׁלֵם, עַד שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה שֶׁתַּשְׁפִּיעַ עָלַי בְּכָל עֵת הֶאָרָה וּקְדֻשָּׁה גְּדוֹלָה מִשַּׁעַר הַחֲמִשִּׁים שֶׁל הַקְּדֻשָּׁה שֶׁהוּא כּוֹלֵל כָּל שַׁעֲרֵי קְדֻשָּׁה.
You Who are filled with compassion, help me recite more psalms with great concentration and wondrous, wholehearted fervor, until at every moment You will pour onto me great illumination and holiness from the fiftieth gate of holiness, which comprises all of the gates of holiness.
בְּאֹפֶן שֶׁתּוֹצֵיאֵנִי מְהֵרָה מִכָּל הַחֲמִשִּׁים שַׁעֲרֵי טֻמְאָה וְתַכְנִיסֵנִי לְכָל הַחֲמִשִּׁים שַׁעֲרֵי קְדֻשָּׁה, כִּי אֵין לָנוּ עַל מִי לְהִשָּׁעֵן כִּי אִם עָלֶיךָ אָבִינוּ שֶׁבַּשָּׁמַיִם, כִּי לֵית אֲתַר פָּנוּי מִנָּךְ.
Quickly bring me out from all fifty gates of uncleanness, and bring me into all fifty gates of holiness. We have no one on whom to rely except You, our Father in Heaven — for no place is empty of You.
עָזְרֵנוּ נָא מֵעַתָּה, וְהוֹשִׁיעֵנוּ יְשׁוּעָה שְׁלֵמָה כְּנָאֶה לְךָ, בְּאֹפֶן שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה לְהִתְחַדֵּשׁ לְגַמְרֵי, שֶׁאֶעֱזוֹב דַּרְכִּי הָרָע וּמַחְשְׁבוֹתַי הָרָעוֹת לְגַמְרֵי וְלֹא אָשׁוּב עוֹד לְכִסְלָה,
Help us from now on. Save us with a complete salvation, as is fitting for You, so that I will be entirely renewed, so that I will completely abandon my evil ways and evil thoughts, and no longer return to foolishness.
לֵב טָהוֹר בְּרָא לִי אֱלֹהִים וְרוּחַ נָכוֹן חַדֵּשׁ בְּקִרְבִּי. וְאֶזְכֶּה מְהֵרָה עַל־יְדֵי אֲמִירַת תְּהִלִּים לָבוֹא וּלְהַגִּיעַ לְהָאוֹת וְהַשַּׁעַר שֶׁל תְּשׁוּבָה הַשַּׁיָּךְ לְנַפְשִׁי כְּפִי שֹׁרֶשׁ נִשְׁמָתִי בְּמ"ט אוֹתִיּוֹת שִׁבְטֵי־יָהּ,
“God, create within me a pure heart and renew a steadfast spirit within me.” By reciting psalms, may I quickly arrive at the sign and gate of repentance connected to my soul, according to the root of my soul in the forty-nine letters of the names of the tribes of God.
בְּאֹפֶן שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה לָשׁוּב אֵלֶיךָ בֶּאֱמֶת וּבְלֵב שָׁלֵם, וּלְעָבְדְךָ בֶּאֱמֶת בְּיִרְאָה וּבְאַהֲבָה בְּשִׂמְחָה וּבְטוּב לֵבָב מֵרֹב כֹּל.
In that way, may I truly return to You with all my heart, and truly serve You with fear and love, “in joy and with a goodness of heart out of an abundance of everything.”
הֲשִׁיבֵנִי וְאָשׁוּבָה כִּי אַתָּה יְהֹוָה אֱלֹהָי. הֲשִׁיבֵנוּ יְהֹוָה אֵלֶיךָ וְנָשׁוּבָה, חַדֵּשׁ יָמֵינוּ כְּקֶדֶם.
“Bring me back and I will return, for You are [HaShem] my God.” “Bring us back to You, HaShem, and we will return. Renew our days as of old.”
יִהְיוּ לְרָצוֹן אִמְרֵי־פִי וְהֶגְיוֹן לִבִּי לְפָנֶיךָ יְהֹוָה צוּרִי וְגוֹאֲלִי. אָמֵן וְאָמֵן:
“May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing before You, HaShem, my Rock and my Redeemer.” Amen and amen.