Healing the heart / Hitbodedut: Personal prayer and meditation / Speaking with friends / Attachment to the tzaddik “Disgrace has broken my heart.” Materialistic cravings, negative traits and wrongful thoughts are called the “disgrace of the heart,” a thick “foreskin” covering over the inner “point” of true goodness and spirituality to be found in the heart of every Jew. This good point is the “inner tzaddik” within each one of us — for, “Your people are all tzaddikim.” The way to arouse this good point is through expressing our highest spiritual aspirations in words, so as to radiate wisdom from the mind down into the heart. Even though God knows our thoughts, it is necessary to speak out our prayers, since speech is the vessel through which blessing is channeled into the world. The Jewish people are a unity with a collective soul. Therefore, the “points” of all individual Jews are rooted in the soul of the outstanding tzaddik in each era, who has a general soul. The tzaddik is thus the main source of spiritual arousal and inspiration for each Jew, and the wisdom of the tzaddik’s teaching and advice radiates to the heart of each one. But in addition to what the Jew receives from the tzaddik, he also has much to gain from discussing spiritual concerns with his friends, as the “point” within each one is quite unique, and we must receive from each other. Through receiving from the “point” of the tzaddik and the “point” of our fellow Jews, each of us can bring out the radiance of his own personal “point” and thereby deepen his relationship with God. “My mouth will speak wisdom and the meditation of my heart, understanding.” “God, hear my prayer; listen to the words of my mouth.” “Please accept the free-will offerings of my mouth, HaShem, and teach me Your laws.” “HaShem, hear my prayer and listen to the voice of my supplications.” “HaShem, hear the voice of my supplications as I cry out to You and lift my hands to Your holy Sanctuary.” “Do not incline my heart to something wicked, to be occupied in deeds of wickedness with men that work evil, and let me not eat of their dainties.”
“A perverse heart will depart from me; I will know no evil.” “Incline my heart to Your testimonies and not to wrongful gain.” “Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a firm spirit within me.”
The good point that is in my heart Master of the entire world, help me bind my heart to the words of my mouth. As are the words in my mouth, so be the feelings in my heart. In Your vast compassion, keep me from speaking deceitfully before You. Don’t let my inner feelings ever be any different from the sentiments I express with my mouth. Let me pour out my prayers and requests to You both in words and with all my heart, so that my heart will be bound to my words and my requests.
Be with me always and save me. Help me express all my thoughts and feelings to You with perfect sincerity at all times. Let me tell You truthfully and honestly what is in my heart. Help me increase the time I spend in hitbodedut and prayer with my Maker, until the holy “point” that is rooted within me will be revealed and shine forth — for every Jew has this “ruling tzaddik” inside him, as it is written, “Your people [Israel] are all tzaddikim.” Let this holy point radiate and rule through the words of my prayers and supplications. Let me connect my heart to this holy point with a firm and strong bond.
As a result, the disgrace of my broken heart — that thick foreskin of all the evil cravings, bad traits, and evil and confused thoughts in my heart — will fall away and disappear. My heart is so broken, shattered and ruined because of this terrible shame.
Let them all totally disappear through the light of the holy point that is within me. Let that light shine from my mouth to my heart through the words of prayer, supplication and arousal toward You and Your service that I will pour forth in perfect truthfulness and wholeheartedness from the very depths of my heart.
Please, HaShem, You Who are filled with compassion, Your way is to have mercy on the poor. You hear the cry of the needy and see the disgrace of those who have been humiliated. Your desire is that the wicked should repent, not that they should die.
“You know my disgrace, my shame and my confusion; my adversaries are all before You. Disgrace has broken my heart, and I am very ill. I hoped for some show of compassion, but there was none; for comforters, but I found none.” Here I am before You, full of shame and confusion, disgrace and humiliation. What can I say? How can I speak? How can I justify myself?
Help me return to You in genuine repentance. Help me express my thoughts and feelings to You honestly and with all my heart, so that I will be able to arouse my good point and make it radiate from my mouth to my heart, healing my terribly damaged heart.
Help me remove from my heart all disgrace and that foreskin of shameful scars — because the crookedness in my heart is just endless. “The heart is deceitful above all things, and it is exceeding weak; who can know it?”
HaShem, You examine every heart and try us in our innermost recesses. Heal my broken heart and bind up the many wounds of my soul. Have pity and mercy on me, Master of the world! For You know the wickedness and crookedness that have taken hold of my heart. My whole heart is full of endless evil thoughts and cravings and confusion.
I find it hard to be calm and quiet for even a brief period because of the ceaseless cravings and distracting thoughts hounding me and destroying my morale. I simply have no way or idea or strategy of how to escape them. Even the few good ideas I still have, I fail to put into practice because my resolve is so weak and my emotional and spiritual powers so scattered.
Master of the world, my plight is very bitter. You know my terrible bitterness. You know my shame and the evil in my heart down to the last fine detail.
Nevertheless, I find it impossible to say even these words honestly, as You well know, because I am plagued by so much shame and humiliation. “All who see me mock at me, they pout their mouths and nod their heads.” “All day my disgrace is before me and shame has covered my face because of the voice of the curser and reviler, because of the enemy and avenger.”
My heart and mind are constantly in turmoil with shameful and humiliating thoughts and feelings. And it’s not enough that my heart is being pulled to pieces by all kinds of evil cravings, bad thoughts, and wrongful thoughts!
But even when I try to lift my eyes to You and sing out a few words of prayer to elicit Your compassion and mercy, my heart is filled with wrongful motives, distracting thoughts and arrogance. These must make my prayers repulsive to You, since “All who are lofty in heart are an abomination to HaShem.” Now, what should I do? Where should I run for help? Look down on my wretchedness, because my heart is filled with such pain and sorrow. Yet despite everything, I still have hope of arousing Your vast compassion and hidden kindness.
For You know the inner recesses of my heart. You know my essential point of goodness, holiness and purity rooted there. For I am a member of the Jewish people, and my soul is rooted in the soul of the true tzaddik, which is the source of the collective soul of the children of Israel.
Therefore, with utmost truthfulness, from the innermost root of my good point, I cry out to You with total honesty and with all my heart. Have pity on me! Have compassion on me! Be unstinting in Your kindness toward me, and help me remove the thick foreskin of shame covering my heart.
Bring me back to You in complete, wholehearted repentance. Quickly grant me a pure heart, a good heart, a holy heart, a complete heart, in accordance with Your will.
The point of the tzaddik that is in my heart Therefore, I have come before You, HaShem my God and God of my fathers, You Who rule over all. You created Your world in accordance with Your will for the sake of Israel, Your nation, so that they should accept the Torah and thereby come to rule over You, as it were. As it is written, “The tzaddik rules in the fear of God,” and, “Israel is His dominion.”
Therefore, I turn to You and beg and plead with You! I bow, bend and prostrate myself before You in fear and awe, trembling and shuddering, with a heart that is broken, crushed, groaning, downcast, dragged down and trodden.
Rock of Israel and its Holy One! Redeemer of Israel! Have compassion on me for Your Name’s sake. In Your tremendous kindness, help me draw close and bind myself to the true tzaddikim who are the root of the collective soul of Israel.
Let me speak to them directly and hear holy words from their lips. Let them speak to my heart with words that I can accept. Help me bind my heart to the holy words of their mouths and their holy “points.”
Let their holy points shine from their mouths to my heart and rule there, so that the shameful foreskin and crookedness of my heart will disappear and my heart will always be straight with HaShem.
The good point of my friend Let me also discuss Torah, Divine service, and fear of Heaven with my fellow Jews in general, so as to receive goodly light and inspiration to serve HaShem from all the unique, holy points that every single Jew possesses.
May there be love and great peace among the entire Jewish people. Let everyone speak to their friends about fear of Heaven, until Your entire nation, the House of Israel, will be merged together in love, harmony and friendship. Let each one of us receive inspiration to serve HaShem from the unique holy point contained in his fellow Jews. We will each receive from the other and inspire one another to serve You and fulfill Your Torah in utmost truth. In Your vast compassion, help me, my children, my descendants, and Your entire nation, the House of Israel, to speak directly to our Maker, each one in his own words, and arouse our hearts to fear of Heaven. Help me express my thoughts and feelings to You every day in my native tongue, appealing for Your compassion. Help me find words that will arouse Your favor and appease You. Let me use correct arguments and reasoning, with great inspiration and words of grace and supplication, until I succeed in binding my heart to the holy point within me, the concept of “the tzaddik rules.”
Let me spend plenty of time each day in these prayers and conversations, and offer many fervent pleas, supplications, confessions, prayers and the like every single day. May I be extremely persistent in my prayers, and give You no quiet until You show me kindness. I will call out to You until You answer me.
I will call out to You until Your true compassion for me is aroused, and I am worthy of conquering You with my prayers, pleading and conversations. Then You will turn Your face to me again, show me compassion, and bring me to complete repentance with all my heart and soul.
Let the holy point found in every Jew shine out to his fellow Jews, so that each will enrich his friends with the holiness that is unique to him. And let the holy point inside each one of us shine within ourselves, so that each individual can receive and actualize his own holiness. Let each one’s holy point radiate from his mouth to his heart through speaking with his Maker with passion and pouring out his prayers, supplications and requests sincerely and with all his heart.
Through all this, let the light of the “tzaddik, foundation of the world” radiate in our hearts. May our hearts be truly and firmly bound forever to the light of these three holy points, which is where the light of holy love and kindness dwells. Then all the disgrace that rests on our hearts — that foreskin of evil cravings and perverse thoughts — will be removed. Let my heart be cleansed of all crookedness, all doubts and atheism, and all evil.
Grant me a pure heart, a holy heart, a good heart, an honest heart, the way You and the true tzaddikim would like it to be. Let me always be straight-hearted with HaShem, until I attach myself to You and surrender myself to Your will. In Your great love, cover over all my sins, as it is written, “Love will cover over all sins.” Forgive me, pardon me and give atonement for all my sins, offenses and transgressions, and take away my shame.
From now on help me never to sin again, either unintentionally or deliberately, under duress or willfully. Save me from every kind of wrongdoing in the world, and let me be exactly the way You would like me to be.
Let me sanctify my mouth with holy words, and help me make amends for all the damage I’ve done with my mouth. Let me fill my mouth with blessings and praises of HaShem. Help me perfect my speech so that my words will be true vessels for blessing, and I will always be able to draw down a goodly flow of blessing, compassion, life and peace through my words. Hear my prayers at all times. Set aside Your will in favor of my will. Let me say a word and see it fulfilled as if it were a decree. Fulfill the verse, “I am HaShem Your God, Who brought you up from the land of Egypt. Open your mouth and I will fill it!”
Protect me in the merit of Joseph the Tzaddik, who withstood his challenge, and in the merit of all the other true tzaddikim who remained firm in the face of innumerable trials and controlled their desires for the sake of Your Name. Through their merit and strength, help me from now on, HaShem my God and God of my fathers, so that I too will be able to control my evil urge and lustful cravings.
Compassionate God, save me from violating the covenant in any way, and let me never be ashamed and never stumble in either thought or deed from now on and forever.
Grant me wisdom, understanding and knowledge so that I will be able to apply myself assiduously to the study and teaching of Torah. Let me fulfill all the words of Your Torah with love.
Have pity on me. Be kind to me. Have mercy on me. Compassionately fulfill my requests. Graciously listen to and answer my prayers, for You hear the prayers said by every one of Your people Israel with compassion. Blessed are You Who hear prayer.
[עַל־פִּי תּוֹרָה ל"ד - וְאַתֶּם תִּהְיוּ לִי מַמְלֶכֶת כֹּהֲנִים]
פִּי יְדַבֵּר חָכְמוֹת וְהָגוּת לִבִּי תְבוּנוֹת. אֱלֹהִים שְׁמַע תְּפִלָּתִי הַאֲזִינָה לְאִמְרֵי פִי. נִדְבוֹת פִּי רְצֵה נָא יְהֹוָה וּמִשְׁפָּטֶיךָ לַמְּדֵנִי. הַאֲזִינָה יְהֹוָה תְּפִלָּתִי וְהַקְשִׁיבָה בְּקוֹל תַּחֲנוּנוֹתָי. שְׁמַע יְהֹוָה קוֹל תַּחֲנוּנַי בְּשַׁוְּעִי אֵלֶיךָ בְּנָשְׂאִי יָדַי אֶל דְּבִיר קָדְשֶׁךָ. אַל תַּט לִבִּי לְדָבָר רָע לְהִתְעוֹלֵל עֲלִילוֹת בְּרֶשַׁע אֶת אִישִׁים פֹּעֲלֵי אָוֶן וּבַל אֶלְחַם בְּמַנְעַמֵּיהֶם.
Healing the heart / Hitbodedut: Personal prayer and meditation / Speaking with friends / Attachment to the tzaddik
“Disgrace has broken my heart.” Materialistic cravings, negative traits and wrongful thoughts are called the “disgrace of the heart,” a thick “foreskin” covering over the inner “point” of true goodness and spirituality to be found in the heart of every Jew. This good point is the “inner tzaddik” within each one of us — for, “Your people are all tzaddikim.” The way to arouse this good point is through expressing our highest spiritual aspirations in words, so as to radiate wisdom from the mind down into the heart. Even though God knows our thoughts, it is necessary to speak out our prayers, since speech is the vessel through which blessing is channeled into the world. The Jewish people are a unity with a collective soul. Therefore, the “points” of all individual Jews are rooted in the soul of the outstanding tzaddik in each era, who has a general soul. The tzaddik is thus the main source of spiritual arousal and inspiration for each Jew, and the wisdom of the tzaddik’s teaching and advice radiates to the heart of each one. But in addition to what the Jew receives from the tzaddik, he also has much to gain from discussing spiritual concerns with his friends, as the “point” within each one is quite unique, and we must receive from each other. Through receiving from the “point” of the tzaddik and the “point” of our fellow Jews, each of us can bring out the radiance of his own personal “point” and thereby deepen his relationship with God.
“My mouth will speak wisdom and the meditation of my heart, understanding.” “God, hear my prayer; listen to the words of my mouth.” “Please accept the free-will offerings of my mouth, HaShem, and teach me Your laws.” “HaShem, hear my prayer and listen to the voice of my supplications.” “HaShem, hear the voice of my supplications as I cry out to You and lift my hands to Your holy Sanctuary.” “Do not incline my heart to something wicked, to be occupied in deeds of wickedness with men that work evil, and let me not eat of their dainties.”
לֵבָב עִקֵּשׁ יָסוּר מִמֶּנִּי רָע לֹא אֵדָע. הַט לִבִּי אֶל עֵדְוֹתֶיךָ וְאַל אֶל בָּצַע. לֵב טָהוֹר בְּרָא לִי אֱלֹהִים וְרוּחַ נָכוֹן חַדֵּשׁ בִּקִרְבִּי.
“A perverse heart will depart from me; I will know no evil.” “Incline my heart to Your testimonies and not to wrongful gain.” “Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a firm spirit within me.”
עָזְרֵנִי רִבּוֹנוֹ שֶׁל עוֹלָם, מָרָא דְעַלְמָא כֹּלָּא, שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה לְקַשֵּׁר אֶת לִבִּי לְאִמְרֵי פִי, וְיִהְיֶה כְּפִי כֵן לִבִּי, וְתַצִּילֵנִי בְּרַחֲמֶיךָ הָרַבִּים שֶׁלֹּא אֲדַבֵּר לְפָנֶיךָ שִׂפְתֵי מִרְמָה, וְלֹא יִהְיֶה חָלַק לִבִּי מֵאִמְרֵי פִי, וְאֶזְכֶּה לִשְׁפֹּךְ שִׂיחִי וּתְפִלָּתִי וּתְחִנָּתִי וּבַקָּשָׁתִי לְפָנֶיךָ בְּפֶה מָלֵא וּבְלֵב שָׁלֵם, עַד שֶׁיִּתְקַשֵּׁר לִבִּי לְאִמְרֵי פִי בִּתְחִנּוֹתַי וּבַקָּשׁוֹתַי,
The good point that is in my heart
Master of the entire world, help me bind my heart to the words of my mouth. As are the words in my mouth, so be the feelings in my heart. In Your vast compassion, keep me from speaking deceitfully before You. Don’t let my inner feelings ever be any different from the sentiments I express with my mouth. Let me pour out my prayers and requests to You both in words and with all my heart, so that my heart will be bound to my words and my requests.
וְתִהְיֶה עִמִּי תָמִיד וְתוֹשִׁיעֵנִי וְתַעַזְרֵנִי וּתְזַכֵּנִי לְפָרֵשׁ כָּל שִׂיחָתִי לְפָנֶיךָ תָמִיד בְּכָל לֵב, וְאֵת כָּל אֲשֶׁר עִם לְבָבִי אָשִׂיחָה לְפָנֶיךָ תָמִיד בֶּאֱמֶת וּבְלֵב שָׁלֵם, וְאֶזְכֶּה לְהַרְבּוֹת מְאֹד בְּהִתְבּוֹדְדוּת וּבְשִׂיחָה בֵּינִי לְבֵין קוֹנִי, עַד שֶׁתִּתְגַּלֶּה וְתָאִיר הַנְּקֻדָּה הַקְּדוֹשָׁה הַמֻּשְׁרֶשֶׁת בִּי שֶׁהִיא בְּחִינַת צַדִּיק מוֹשֵׁל, כְּמוֹ שֶׁכָּתוּב, וְעַמֵּךְ (יִשְׂרָאֵל) כֻּלָּם צַדִּיקִים. וְהַנְּקֻדָּה הַקְּדוֹשָׁה הַזֹּאת תָּאִיר וְתִמְשֹׁל עַל־יְדֵי אִמְרֵי פִי בִּתְפִלּוֹת וּתְחִנּוֹת וּבַקָּשׁוֹת. וְאֶזְכֶּה לְקַשֵּׁר לִבִּי לַנְּקֻדָּה הַקְּדוֹשָׁה הַזֹּאת בְּקֶשֶׁר אַמִּיץ וְחָזָק,
Be with me always and save me. Help me express all my thoughts and feelings to You with perfect sincerity at all times. Let me tell You truthfully and honestly what is in my heart. Help me increase the time I spend in hitbodedut and prayer with my Maker, until the holy “point” that is rooted within me will be revealed and shine forth — for every Jew has this “ruling tzaddik” inside him, as it is written, “Your people [Israel] are all tzaddikim.” Let this holy point radiate and rule through the words of my prayers and supplications. Let me connect my heart to this holy point with a firm and strong bond.
עַד שֶׁתָּאִיר הַנְּקֻדָּה הַקְּדוֹשָׁה הַזֹּאת מִפִּי לְלִבִּי,
Then this point will radiate from my mouth to my heart, and reveal the light of my innate love of HaShem.
עַד שֶׁיִּתְגַּלֶּה אוֹר הָאַהֲבָה הַקְּדוֹשָׁה לְהַשֵּׁם יִתְבָּרַךְ, הַמֻּשְׁרֶשֶׁת בִּי, וְעַל־יְדֵי־זֶה יִתְבַּטֵּל וְיִפֹּל מִלִּבִּי חֶרְפַּת לֵב, עָרְלַת לֵב, שְׁבִירַת לֵב, שֶׁהֵם כָּל הַתַּאֲווֹת רָעוֹת וּמִדּוֹת רָעוֹת וּמַחֲשָׁבוֹת רָעוֹת וְהִרְהוּרִים רָעִים וּבִלְבּוּלִים הַשּׁוֹרִין עַל לִבִּי, עַד אֲשֶׁר כָּל לִבִּי נִשְׁבַּר וְנִשְׁחַת וְנִתְקַלְקֵל מְאֹד מְאֹד עַל־יְדֵי רִבּוּי הַחֶרְפּוֹת הַלָּלוּ.
As a result, the disgrace of my broken heart — that thick foreskin of all the evil cravings, bad traits, and evil and confused thoughts in my heart — will fall away and disappear. My heart is so broken, shattered and ruined because of this terrible shame.
וְכֻלָּם יִתְבַּטְלוּ מִמֶּנִּי לְגַמְרֵי עַל־יְדֵי אוֹר הַנְּקֻדָּה הַקְּדוֹשָׁה שֶׁבִּי, שֶׁתְּזַכֵּנִי שֶׁתִּתְגַּלֶּה וְתָאִיר מִפִּי לְלִבִּי, עַל־יְדֵי דִבְרֵי תְחִנּוֹת וּבַקָּשׁוֹת וְהִתְעוֹרְרוּת אֵלֶיךָ וְלַעֲבוֹדָתֶךָ, שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה לְאוֹמְרָם בֶּאֱמֶת וּבְלֵב שָׁלֵם מֵעוּמְקָא דְלִבָּא בֶּאֱמֶת לַאֲמִתּוֹ:
Let them all totally disappear through the light of the holy point that is within me. Let that light shine from my mouth to my heart through the words of prayer, supplication and arousal toward You and Your service that I will pour forth in perfect truthfulness and wholeheartedness from the very depths of my heart.
אָנָּא יְהֹוָה, מָלֵא רַחֲמִים רַבִּים, חוֹמֵל דַּלִּים, שׁוֹמֵעַ אֶנְקַת אֶבְיוֹנִים, רוֹאֶה בְּעֶלְבּוֹן עֲלוּבִים, הֶחָפֵץ בִּתְשׁוּבָתָן שֶׁל רְשָׁעִים וְאֵינוֹ חָפֵץ בְּמִיתָתָם,
Please, HaShem, You Who are filled with compassion, Your way is to have mercy on the poor. You hear the cry of the needy and see the disgrace of those who have been humiliated. Your desire is that the wicked should repent, not that they should die.
אַתָּה יָדַעְתָּ חֶרְפָּתִי וּבָשְׁתִּי וּכְלִמָּתִי נֶגְדְּךָ כָּל צוֹרְרָי. חֶרְפָּה שָׁבְרָה לִבִּי וָאָנוּשָׁה וַאֲקַוֶּה לָנוּד וָאַיִן וְלַמְנַחֲמִים וְלֹא מָצָאתִי. הֲרֵינִי לְפָנֶיךָ מָלֵא בּוּשָׁה וּכְלִמָּה, מָלֵא חֶרְפּוֹת וּבִזְיוֹנוֹת, מָה אוֹמַר מָה אֲדַבֵּר וּמָה אֶצְטַדָּק,
“You know my disgrace, my shame and my confusion; my adversaries are all before You. Disgrace has broken my heart, and I am very ill. I hoped for some show of compassion, but there was none; for comforters, but I found none.” Here I am before You, full of shame and confusion, disgrace and humiliation. What can I say? How can I speak? How can I justify myself?
חוּס וַחֲמֹל עָלַי, הַעֲבֵר חֶרְפָּתִי אֲשֶׁר יָגֹרְתִּי כִּי מִשְׁפָּטֶיךָ טוֹבִים.
Have pity and mercy on me! “Turn away my disgrace, which I dread, for Your judgments are good.”
זַכֵּנִי לָשׁוּב בִּתְשׁוּבָה שְׁלֵמָה לְפָנֶיךָ בֶּאֱמֶת, זַכֵּנִי לְפָרֵשׁ שִׂיחָתִי לְפָנֶיךָ בֶּאֱמֶת וּבְלֵב שָׁלֵם, בְּאֹפֶן שֶׁאוּכַל לְעוֹרֵר הַנְּקֻדָּה הַטּוֹבָה שֶׁיֵּשׁ בִּי וְתָאִיר בִּי מִפִּי לְלִבִּי, בְּאֹפֶן שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה לְתַקֵּן אֶת לִבִּי הַפָּגוּם מְאֹד.
Help me return to You in genuine repentance. Help me express my thoughts and feelings to You honestly and with all my heart, so that I will be able to arouse my good point and make it radiate from my mouth to my heart, healing my terribly damaged heart.
וְאֶזְכֶּה לְהָסִיר וּלְבַטֵּל מִלִבִּי כָּל הַחֶרְפּוֹת לֵב וְכָל הָעָרְלַת לֵב וְכָל הָעַקְמִימִיּוּת שֶׁבְּלִבִּי, כִּי לִבִּי מָלֵא עַקְמִימִיּוּת רַע מְאֹד בְּלִי שִׁעוּר וָעֵרֶךְ וּמִסְפָּר. עָקֹב הַלֵּב מִכֹּל וְאָנֻשׁ הוּא מִי יֵדָעֶנּוּ,
Help me remove from my heart all disgrace and that foreskin of shameful scars — because the crookedness in my heart is just endless. “The heart is deceitful above all things, and it is exceeding weak; who can know it?”
וְאַתָּה יְהֹוָה חוֹקֵר לֵב וּבוֹחֵן כְּלָיוֹת, רְפָא אֶת שִׁבְרִי וַחֲבֹשׁ אֶת מַכְאוֹבֵי נַפְשִׁי הַמְּרֻבִּים מְאֹד, חוּס וַחֲמֹל עָלַי רִבּוֹנוֹ שֶׁל עוֹלָם, כִּי אַתָּה יָדַעְתָּ רֹעַ לְבָבִי וְהָעַקְמִימִיּוּת הָרָע שֶׁנֶּאֱחָז וְנִתְעָרֵב בְּלִבִּי, עַד שֶׁכָּל לִבִּי מָלֵא הִרְהוּרִים וְתַאֲווֹת וּבִלְבּוּלִים הַרְבֵּה מְאֹד מְאֹד בְּלִי שִׁעוּר וָעֵרֶךְ וּמִסְפָּר,
HaShem, You examine every heart and try us in our innermost recesses. Heal my broken heart and bind up the many wounds of my soul. Have pity and mercy on me, Master of the world! For You know the wickedness and crookedness that have taken hold of my heart. My whole heart is full of endless evil thoughts and cravings and confusion.
עַד שֶׁקָּשֶׁה לִי לָנוּחַ וְלִשְׁקֹט שָׁעָה אַחַת, כִּי בְכָל עֵת וְשָׁעָה רוֹדְפִין הַתַּאֲווֹת וְהַבִּלְבּוּלִים אַחֲרַי, וּמְחָרְפִין וּמְשַׁבְּרִין אֶת לְבָבִי, עַד אֲשֶׁר אֵינִי יוֹדֵעַ שׁוּם דֶּרֶךְ וּנְתִיב וְעֵצָה וְתַחְבּוּלָה אֵיךְ לְהִמָּלֵט מֵהֶם, וַאֲפִלּוּ מַה שֶּׁמִּתְנוֹצֵץ לִי עֲדַיִן אֵיזֶה הִתְנוֹצְצוּת עֵצוֹת טוֹבוֹת, אֵינִי מְקַיְּמָם מֵעֹצֶם חֲלִישׁוּת הַדַּעַת וּפִזּוּר הַלֵּב וְהַנֶּפֶשׁ:
I find it hard to be calm and quiet for even a brief period because of the ceaseless cravings and distracting thoughts hounding me and destroying my morale. I simply have no way or idea or strategy of how to escape them. Even the few good ideas I still have, I fail to put into practice because my resolve is so weak and my emotional and spiritual powers so scattered.
רִבּוֹנוֹ שֶׁל עוֹלָם, מַר לִי מְאֹד, אַתָּה יָדַעְתָּ מְרִירוּתִי הֶעָצוּם, אַתָּה יָדַעְתָּ חֶרְפָּתִי וְרֹעַ לְבָבִי בְּכָל בְּחִינוֹתֶיהָ, בְּכָל פְּרָטֶיהָ וְדִקְדּוּקֶיהָ,
Master of the world, my plight is very bitter. You know my terrible bitterness. You know my shame and the evil in my heart down to the last fine detail.
וְאֵין מִי שֶׁיּוּכַל לְרַפְּאוֹת אוֹתִי, כִּי אִם אַתָּה לְבַד יְהֹוָה אֱלֹהַי וֵאלֹהֵי אֲבוֹתַי, בַּחֲסָדֶיךָ הָאֲמִתִּיִּים לְבַד, בְּחֶסֶד חִנָּם לְבַד,
There is no one who can heal me except You alone, HaShem my God and God of my fathers, Whose lovingkindness is true and bestowed as an unearned gift.
אַף־עַל־פִּי שֶׁאֵינִי זוֹכֶה לְדַבֵּר אֲפִלּוּ דְבָרִים אֵלּוּ בֶּאֱמֶת, כַּאֲשֶׁר אַתָּה יָדַעְתָּ, כִּי מְחָרְפִים אוֹתִי בְּכָל מִינֵי חֶרְפּוֹת וּבִזְיוֹנוֹת, כָּל רוֹאַי יַלְעִיגוּ לִי יַפְטִירוּ בְשָׂפָה יָנִיעוּ רֹאשׁ. כָּל הַיּוֹם כְּלִמָּתִי נֶגְדִּי וּבֹשֶׁת פָּנַי כִּסָּתְנִי. מִקּוֹל מְחָרֵף וּמְגַדֵּף מִפְּנֵי אוֹיֵב וּמִתְנַקֵּם.
Nevertheless, I find it impossible to say even these words honestly, as You well know, because I am plagued by so much shame and humiliation. “All who see me mock at me, they pout their mouths and nod their heads.” “All day my disgrace is before me and shame has covered my face because of the voice of the curser and reviler, because of the enemy and avenger.”
וּבְכָל עֵת וָרֶגַע מְעֻרְבָּב בְּדַעְתִּי וְלִבִּי כָּל מִינֵי חֶרְפּוֹת וּבִזְיוֹנוֹת. וְלֹא דַי שֶׁמְּחָרְפִים אוֹתִי וּמְשַׁבְּרִים אֶת לְבָבִי בְּכָל מִינֵי תַּאֲווֹת רָעוֹת וּמִדּוֹת רָעוֹת וְהִרְהוּרִים רָעִים וּמְגֻנִּים,
My heart and mind are constantly in turmoil with shameful and humiliating thoughts and feelings. And it’s not enough that my heart is being pulled to pieces by all kinds of evil cravings, bad thoughts, and wrongful thoughts!
אַף גַּם בְּתוֹךְ כַָּךְ כְּשֶׁאֲנִי רוֹצֶה לִשָּׂא עֵינַי מְעַט אֵלֶיךָ, וּלְצַפְצֵף אִמְרָתִי לְרַחֲמֶיךָ וַחֲנִינוֹתֶיךָ, בְּתוֹךְ כַָּךְ מָלֵא לִבִּי בִּפְנִיּוֹת וּבִלְבּוּלִים גְּדוֹלִים וְגַסּוּת הָרוּחַ, אֲשֶׁר עַל־יְדֵי־זֶה תְפִלָּתִי נִמְאֶסֶת מֵאִתְּךָ חַס וְשָׁלוֹם, כְּמוֹ שֶׁכָּתוּב, תּוֹעֲבַת יְהֹוָה כָּל גְּבַהּ לֵב. וְעַתָּה מָה אֶעֱשֶׂה וּמָה אֶפְעַל, לְהֵיכָן אָנוּס לְעֶזְרָה. הַבִּיטָה בְעָנְיִי כִּי רַבּוּ מַכְאוֹבַי וְצָרוֹת לְבָבִי. אַךְ אַף־עַל־פִּי־כֵן אֲנִי מְקַוֶּה וּמְיַחֵל לְרַחֲמֶיךָ הָרַבִּים וְלַחֲסָדֶיךָ הַגְּנוּזִים,
But even when I try to lift my eyes to You and sing out a few words of prayer to elicit Your compassion and mercy, my heart is filled with wrongful motives, distracting thoughts and arrogance. These must make my prayers repulsive to You, since “All who are lofty in heart are an abomination to HaShem.” Now, what should I do? Where should I run for help? Look down on my wretchedness, because my heart is filled with such pain and sorrow. Yet despite everything, I still have hope of arousing Your vast compassion and hidden kindness.
כִּי אַתָּה יוֹדֵעַ צְפוּן לְבָבִי וְעֶצֶם שֹׁרֶשׁ נְקֻדָּתִי הַטּוֹבָה, אֲשֶׁר בֶּאֱמֶת לַאֲמִתּוֹ יֵשׁ בִּי שֹׁרֶשׁ נְקֻדָּה טוֹבָה וּקְדוֹשָׁה וּטְהוֹרָה, כִּי אֲנִי מִזֶּרַע בֵּית יִשְׂרָאֵל וְנִשְׁמָתִי מֻשְׁרֶשֶׁת בְּנִשְׁמַת הַצַּדִּיק הָאֲמִתִּי שֶׁהוּא שֹׁרֶשׁ כְּלָלִיּוּת נִשְׁמַת בְּנֵי יִשְׂרָאֵל.
For You know the inner recesses of my heart. You know my essential point of goodness, holiness and purity rooted there. For I am a member of the Jewish people, and my soul is rooted in the soul of the true tzaddik, which is the source of the collective soul of the children of Israel.
עַל כֵּן בֶּאֱמֶת לַאֲמִתּוֹ בִּפְנִימִיּוּת שֹׁרֶשׁ נְקֻדָּתִי הַטּוֹבָה, אֲנִי צוֹעֵק אֵלֶיךָ בֶּאֱמֶת וּבְלֵב שָׁלֵם, שֶׁתָּחוֹס עָלַי וּתְרַחֵם עָלַי וּתְחָנֵּנִי מֵאוֹצַר מַתְּנַת חִנָּם, וְתַעַזְרֵנִי לְהָסִיר מִמֶּנִּי עָרְלַת לִבִּי וּשְׁבִירַת לִבִּי וְחֶרְפַּת לִבִּי.
Therefore, with utmost truthfulness, from the innermost root of my good point, I cry out to You with total honesty and with all my heart. Have pity on me! Have compassion on me! Be unstinting in Your kindness toward me, and help me remove the thick foreskin of shame covering my heart.
וְאֶזְכֶּה לְהַטּוֹת לְבָבִי אֵלֶיךָ בֶּאֱמֶת לַאֲמִתּוֹ, וּלְשַׁבֵּר וּלְבַטֵּל מִלִּבִּי כָּל הַתַּאֲווֹת רָעוֹת וּמִדּוֹת רָעוֹת וְעַקְמִימִיּוּת שֶׁבַּלֵּב וְרֹעַ הַלֵּב.
Let me turn my heart to You in perfect honesty, break and eradicate all my evil desires and traits, and excise the crookedness and evil from my heart.
וְתַחֲזִירֵנִי בִּתְשׁוּבָה שְׁלֵמָה לְפָנֶיךָ בֶּאֱמֶת וּבְלֵב שָׁלֵם, וְאֶזְכֶּה מְהֵרָה לְלֵב טָהוֹר, לְלֵב טוֹב, לְלֵב קָדוֹשׁ, לְלֵב שָׁלֵם, כִּרְצוֹנְךָ הַטּוֹב:
Bring me back to You in complete, wholehearted repentance. Quickly grant me a pure heart, a good heart, a holy heart, a complete heart, in accordance with Your will.
וּבְכֵן בָּאתִי לְפָנֶיךָ יְהֹוָה אֱלֹהַי וֵאלֹהֵי אֲבוֹתַי, מוֹשֵׁל בַּכֹּל, אֲשֶׁר בָּרָאתָ עוֹלָמְךָ בִּרְצוֹנְךָ הַטּוֹב, בִּשְׁבִיל יִשְׂרָאֵל עַמֶּךָ, כְּדֵי שֶׁיְּקַבְּלוּ יִשְׂרָאֵל אֶת הַתּוֹרָה, וְעַל־יְדֵי־זֶה יִזְכּוּ לִמְשֹׁל בְּךָ כִּבְיָכוֹל, כְּמוֹ שֶׁכָּתוּב, צַדִּיק מוֹשֵׁל יִרְאַת אֱלֹהִים. וּכְתִיב, יִשְׂרָאֵל מַמְשְׁלוֹתָיו.
The point of the tzaddik that is in my heart
Therefore, I have come before You, HaShem my God and God of my fathers, You Who rule over all. You created Your world in accordance with Your will for the sake of Israel, Your nation, so that they should accept the Torah and thereby come to rule over You, as it were. As it is written, “The tzaddik rules in the fear of God,” and, “Israel is His dominion.”
עַל כֵּן אוֹתְךָ אֶדְרֹשׁ אוֹתְךָ אֲבַקֵּשׁ, לְפָנֶיךָ אֶתְחַנֵּן לְפָנֶיךָ אֶשְׁתַּטֵּחַ, בְּקִידָה בִּכְרִיעָה בְּהִשְׁתַּחֲוָיָה בִּכְפִיפַת רֹאשׁ בִּכְנִיעַת חָיִל, בְּאֵימָה בְּיִרְאָה בְּרֶתֶת וְזִיעַ, בְּלֵב נִשְׁבָּר וְנִדְכֶּה נֶאֱנַח וְנִדְכֶּא, מְמֻשָּׁךְ וּמְמֹרָט.
Therefore, I turn to You and beg and plead with You! I bow, bend and prostrate myself before You in fear and awe, trembling and shuddering, with a heart that is broken, crushed, groaning, downcast, dragged down and trodden.
צוּר יִשְׂרָאֵל וּקְדוֹשׁוֹ, גּוֹאֵל יִשְׂרָאֵל, רַחֵם עָלֵינוּ לְמַעַן שְׁמֶךָ, וְזַכֵּנוּ בַּחֲסָדֶיךָ הָעֲצוּמִים לְהִתְקָרֵב וּלְהִתְקַשֵּׁר לַצַּדִּיקִים הָאֲמִתִּיִּים, שֶׁהֵם שֹׁרֶשׁ כְּלָלִיּוּת נִשְׁמוֹת יִשְׂרָאֵל.
Rock of Israel and its Holy One! Redeemer of Israel! Have compassion on me for Your Name’s sake. In Your tremendous kindness, help me draw close and bind myself to the true tzaddikim who are the root of the collective soul of Israel.
וּתְזַכֵּנִי לְדַבֵּר עִמָּם פֶּה אֶל פֶּה, וְלִשְׁמֹעַ מִפִּיהֶם הַקָּדוֹשׁ דִּבּוּרִים קְדוֹשִׁים, וִידַבְּרוּ עַל לִבִּי דְבָרִים הַמִּתְיַשְּׁבִין עַל הַלֵּב, וְאֶזְכֶּה לְקַשֵּׁר אֶת לִבִּי לְדִבְרֵי פִיהֶם הַקְּדוֹשִׁים לִנְקֻדָּתָם הַקְּדוֹשָׁה,
Let me speak to them directly and hear holy words from their lips. Let them speak to my heart with words that I can accept. Help me bind my heart to the holy words of their mouths and their holy “points.”
וְתִמְשֹׁל וְתָאִיר נְקֻדָּתָם הַקְּדוֹשָׁה מִפִּיהֶם לְלִבִּי, וְעַל־יְדֵי־זֶה יִתְבַּטֵּל מִלִּבִּי כָּל הַחֶרְפּוֹת לֵב וְכָל הָעָרְלַת לֵב וְכָל הָעַקְמִימִיּוּת שֶׁבַּלֵּב, וְיִהְיֶה לִבִּי יָשָׁר עִם יְהֹוָה תָּמִיד:
Let their holy points shine from their mouths to my heart and rule there, so that the shameful foreskin and crookedness of my heart will disappear and my heart will always be straight with HaShem.
וּבְכֵן תְּזַכֵּנִי לְדַבֵּר עִם כְּלָלִיּוּת יִשְׂרָאֵל עַם קָדְשֶׁךָ, בְּתוֹרָה וַעֲבוֹדָה וְיִרְאַת שָׁמַיִם, עַד שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה לְקַבֵּל הֶאָרָה טוֹבָה וְהִתְעוֹרְרוּת לְהַשֵּׁם יִתְבָּרַךְ, מִכָּל הַנְּקֻדּוֹת הַקְּדוֹשׁוֹת שֶׁיֵּשׁ בְּכָל אֶחָד וְאֶחָד מִיִּשְׂרָאֵל מַה שֶּׁאֵין בַּחֲבֵרוֹ.
The good point of my friend
Let me also discuss Torah, Divine service, and fear of Heaven with my fellow Jews in general, so as to receive goodly light and inspiration to serve HaShem from all the unique, holy points that every single Jew possesses.
וְנִזְכֶּה שֶׁיִּהְיֶה אַהֲבָה וְשָׁלוֹם גָּדוֹל בֵּין כָּל יִשְׂרָאֵל עַמֶּךָ, וְכָל אֶחָד וְאֶחָד יְדַבֵּר עִם חֲבֵרוֹ בְּיִרְאַת שָׁמַיִם, עַד שֶׁכֻּלָּנוּ עַמְּךָ בֵּית יִשְׂרָאֵל, נִהְיֶה נִכְלָלִים זֶה בָּזֶה בְּאַהֲבָה וְאַחֲוָה וְרֵעוּת, וְכָל אֶחָד יְקַבֵּל מֵחֲבֵרוֹ הִתְעוֹרְרוּת לְהַשֵּׁם יִתְבָּרַךְ מִנְּקֻדָּה הַקְּדוֹשָׁה שֶׁיֵּשׁ בַּחֲבֵרוֹ יוֹתֵר מִמֶּנּוּ, וּנְקַבֵּל זֶה מִזֶּה וּנְעוֹרֵר זֶה אֶת זֶה לַעֲבוֹדָתְךָ וּלְתוֹרָתְךָ בֶּאֱמֶת לַאֲמִתּוֹ: וּתְזַכֵּנִי בְּרַחֲמֶיךָ הָרַבִּים, אוֹתִי וְאֶת זַרְעִי וְאֶת זֶרַע זַרְעִי וְאֶת כָּל עַמְּךָ בֵּית יִשְׂרָאֵל, שֶׁנִּזְכֶּה כָל אֶחָד וְאֶחָד לְדַבֵּר בֵּינוֹ לְבֵין קוֹנוֹ, וּנְעוֹרֵר לִבֵּנוּ לְיִרְאַת שָׁמַיִם, וְנִזְכֶּה תָמִיד לְפָרֵשׁ שִׂיחָתֵנוּ לְפָנֶיךָ בְּכָל יוֹם וָיוֹם בְּלָשׁוֹן שֶׁמְּדַבְּרִים בּוֹ, בְּרַחֲמִים וְתַחֲנוּנִים גְּדוֹלִים, וּבְדִבְרֵי רִצּוּיִים וּפִיּוּסִים הַרְבֵּה, וּבְטַעֲנוֹת וַאֲמַתְלָאוֹת נְכוֹנוֹת, וּבְהִתְעוֹרְרוּת גָּדוֹל בֶּאֱמֶת, וּבְדִבְרֵי חֵן וְתַחֲנוּנִים, עַד שֶׁנִּזְכֶּה לְקַשֵּׁר לִבֵּנוּ אֶל הַנְּקֻדָּה הַקְּדוֹשָׁה שֶׁיֵּשׁ בָּנוּ, שֶׁהִיא בְּחִינַת צַדִּיק מוֹשֵׁל.
May there be love and great peace among the entire Jewish people. Let everyone speak to their friends about fear of Heaven, until Your entire nation, the House of Israel, will be merged together in love, harmony and friendship. Let each one of us receive inspiration to serve HaShem from the unique holy point contained in his fellow Jews. We will each receive from the other and inspire one another to serve You and fulfill Your Torah in utmost truth. In Your vast compassion, help me, my children, my descendants, and Your entire nation, the House of Israel, to speak directly to our Maker, each one in his own words, and arouse our hearts to fear of Heaven. Help me express my thoughts and feelings to You every day in my native tongue, appealing for Your compassion. Help me find words that will arouse Your favor and appease You. Let me use correct arguments and reasoning, with great inspiration and words of grace and supplication, until I succeed in binding my heart to the holy point within me, the concept of “the tzaddik rules.”
וְנִזְכֶּה לְהַעְתִּיר הַרְבֵּה לְפָנֶיךָ וּלְהַרְבּוֹת מְאֹד בְּכָל יוֹם וָיוֹם בְּשִׂיחָה זוּ תְפִלָּה, וְנִזְכֶּה לוֹמַר לְפָנֶיךָ בְּכָל יוֹם וָיוֹם כַּמָּה וְכַמָּה תְחִנּוֹת וּבַקָּשׁוֹת וּוִדּוּיִם וּתְפִלּוֹת וְהַפְצָרוֹת, וְנִתְחַזֵּק וְנִתְאַמֵּץ בִּתְפִלָּה וְתַחֲנוּנִים בְּכָל עֹז וְתַעֲצוּמוֹת. וְאַל נִתֵּן דֳּמִי לָךְ, עַד שֶׁתְּחָנֵּנוּ, נִקְרָא אֵלֶיךָ עַד שֶׁתַּעֲנֵנוּ,
Let me spend plenty of time each day in these prayers and conversations, and offer many fervent pleas, supplications, confessions, prayers and the like every single day. May I be extremely persistent in my prayers, and give You no quiet until You show me kindness. I will call out to You until You answer me.
עַד שֶׁנְּעוֹרֵר רַחֲמֶיךָ הָאֲמִתִּיִּים עָלֵינוּ, וְנִזְכֶּה לְנַצֵּחַ אוֹתְךָ בִּתְפִלָּתֵינוּ וּתְחִנּוֹתֵינוּ וְשִׂיחָתֵינוּ, שֶׁתָּשִׁיב פָּנֶיךָ אֵלֵינוּ וּתְרַחֲמֵנוּ, וּתְשִׁיבֵנוּ בִּתְשׁוּבָה שְׁלֵמָה לְפָנֶיךָ בֶּאֱמֶת בְּכָל לֵב וָנֶפֶשׁ.
I will call out to You until Your true compassion for me is aroused, and I am worthy of conquering You with my prayers, pleading and conversations. Then You will turn Your face to me again, show me compassion, and bring me to complete repentance with all my heart and soul.
וּתְזַכֵּנוּ שֶׁיָּאִירוּ בָנוּ כָּל הַשְׁלֹשָׁה נְקֻדּוֹת הַקְּדוֹשׁוֹת הַלָּלוּ שֶׁהֵם הֶאָרַת הַנְּקֻדָּה הַקְּדוֹשָׁה שֶׁל הַצַּדִּיק הַדּוֹר הָאֲמִתִּי,
Make all three holy points shine within me. Let the holy point of the true tzaddik of this generation shine out to me.
וְהֶאָרַת הַנְּקֻדָּה הַקְּדוֹשָׁה שֶׁל כְּלָלִיּוּת יִשְׂרָאֵל עַמְּךָ מֵאֶחָד לַחֲבֵרוֹ. שֶׁכָּל אֶחָד יָאִיר בַּחֲבֵרוֹ הֶאָרַת הַנְּקֻדָּה הַקְּדוֹשָׁה שֶׁיֵּשׁ בּוֹ מַה שֶּׁאֵין בַּחֲבֵרוֹ, וְהֶאָרַת הַנְּקֻדָּה הַקְּדוֹשָׁה שֶׁל כָּל אֶחָד בְּעַצְמוֹ, שֶׁכָּל אֶחָד וְאֶחָד יְקַבֵּל מִנֵּיהּ וּבֵיהּ מֵהַנְּקֻדָּה הַקְּדוֹשָׁה שֶׁיֵּשׁ בּוֹ, שֶׁתָּאִיר מִפִּיו לְלִבּוֹ, עַל־יְדֵי שֶׁיְּדַבֵּר בֵּינוֹ לְבֵין קוֹנוֹ בְּהִתְעוֹרְרוּת הַלֵּב, בִּתְפִלָּה וְשִׂיחָה וּתְחִנָּה וּבַקָּשָׁה בֶּאֱמֶת וּבְלֵב שָׁלֵם,
Let the holy point found in every Jew shine out to his fellow Jews, so that each will enrich his friends with the holiness that is unique to him. And let the holy point inside each one of us shine within ourselves, so that each individual can receive and actualize his own holiness. Let each one’s holy point radiate from his mouth to his heart through speaking with his Maker with passion and pouring out his prayers, supplications and requests sincerely and with all his heart.
וְעַל־יְדֵי כָּל זֶה נִזְכֶּה שֶׁיָּאִיר הֶאָרַת צַדִּיק יְסוֹד עוֹלָם בְּלִבֵּנוּ, וְנִזְכֶּה שֶׁיִּתְקַשֵּׁר לְבָבֵנוּ בֶאֱמֶת בְּקֶשֶׁר אַמִּיץ וְחָזָק לְעוֹלְמֵי עַד, לְאוֹר שְׁלֹשָׁה נְקֻדּוֹת הַקְּדוֹשׁוֹת הַלָּלוּ, אֲשֶׁר שָׁם אוֹר הָאַהֲבָה וְהַחֶסֶד הַקָּדוֹשׁ שׁוֹרָה, עַד שֶׁיִּתְבַּטֵּל עַל־יְדֵי־זֶה כָּל הַחֶרְפּוֹת הַשּׁוֹרִין עַל הַלֵּב הַנִּקְרָאִין עָרְלַת לֵב, שְׁבִירַת לֵב, שֶׁהֵם כָּל הַתַּאֲווֹת רָעוֹת וְהִרְהוּרִים רָעִים, וְאֶזְכֶּה שֶׁיִּטָּהֵר לִבִּי בֶּאֱמֶת מִכָּל הָעַקְמִימִיּוּת שֶׁבַּלֵּב, וּמִכָּל מִינֵי כְּפִירוֹת שֶׁבַּלֵּב, וּמִכָּל רֹעַ הַלֵּב.
Through all this, let the light of the “tzaddik, foundation of the world” radiate in our hearts. May our hearts be truly and firmly bound forever to the light of these three holy points, which is where the light of holy love and kindness dwells. Then all the disgrace that rests on our hearts — that foreskin of evil cravings and perverse thoughts — will be removed. Let my heart be cleansed of all crookedness, all doubts and atheism, and all evil.
וְתַעַזְרֵנִי לְשַׁבֵּר וּלְבַטֵּל כָּל הַתַּאֲווֹת רָעוֹת וְכָל הַהִרְהוּרִים רָעִים וְכָל מִינֵי מַחֲשָׁבוֹת רָעוֹת וְכָל מִינֵי בִּלְבּוּלִים וְכָל מִינֵי פְּסֹלֶת וַעֲכִירוּת שֶׁבַּלֵּב,
Help me break and eliminate all my evil desires and wrongful thoughts, and rid my heart of confusion and murkiness.
עַד שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה לְלֵב טָהוֹר, לְלֵב קָדוֹשׁ, לְלֵב טוֹב, לְיַשְׁרוּת לֵב, בֶּאֱמֶת לַאֲמִתּוֹ, כִּרְצוֹנְךָ וְכִרְצוֹן הַצַּדִּיקִים הָאֲמִתִּיִּים. וְיִהְיֶה לִבִּי יָשָׁר עִם יְהֹוָה תָּמִיד, עַד שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה לְהִתְדַּבֵּק בְּךָ וּלְהִכָּלֵל בִּרְצוֹנְךָ הַטּוֹב. וּבְאַהֲבָתְךָ הַגְּדוֹלָה תְּכַסֶּה עַל כָּל פְּשָׁעֵינוּ כְּמוֹ שֶׁכָּתוּב, וְעַל כָּל פְּשָׁעִים תְּכַסֶּה אַהֲבָה. וְתִמְחֹל וְתִסְלַח וּתְכַפֵּר לָנוּ עַל כָּל חֲטָאֵינוּ וַעֲוֹנוֹתֵינוּ וּפְשָׁעֵינוּ, וְתֶאֱסֹף אֶת חֶרְפָּתֵנוּ,
Grant me a pure heart, a holy heart, a good heart, an honest heart, the way You and the true tzaddikim would like it to be. Let me always be straight-hearted with HaShem, until I attach myself to You and surrender myself to Your will. In Your great love, cover over all my sins, as it is written, “Love will cover over all sins.” Forgive me, pardon me and give atonement for all my sins, offenses and transgressions, and take away my shame.
וּמֵעַתָּה תִהְיֶה בְעֶזְרֵנוּ שֶׁלֹּא נֶחֱטָא עוֹד לְעוֹלָם, בֵּין בְּשׁוֹגֵג בֵּין בְּמֵזִיד, בֵּין בְּאֹנֶס בֵּין בְּרָצוֹן, וְתַצִּילֵנוּ מִכָּל מִינֵי פְּגָמִים שֶׁבָּעוֹלָם, וְנִזְכֶּה לִהְיוֹת כִּרְצוֹנְךָ הַטּוֹב בֶּאֱמֶת:
From now on help me never to sin again, either unintentionally or deliberately, under duress or willfully. Save me from every kind of wrongdoing in the world, and let me be exactly the way You would like me to be.
וּתְזַכֵּנִי לְקַדֵּשׁ אֶת פִּי בְּדִבּוּרִים קְדוֹשִׁים, וְתַעֲזֹר לִי לְתַקֵּן כָּל הַפְּגָמִים שֶׁפָּגַמְתִּי בְּפִי, עַד שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה שֶׁיִּהְיֶה פִּי מָלֵא בִּרְכַּת יְהֹוָה וְיִמָּלֵא פִי תְהִלָּתֶךָ. וְיִהְיוּ כְּלֵי הַשֶּׁפַע שֶׁלִּי שֶׁהֵם אִמְרֵי פִי בִּשְׁלֵמוּת גָּדוֹל, עַד שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה לְהַמְשִׁיךְ תָּמִיד שֶׁפַע טוֹבָה וּבְרָכָה וְרַחֲמִים וְחַיִּים וְשָׁלוֹם עַל־יְדֵי אִמְרֵי פִי. וְתִשְׁמַע תְּפִלָּתֵנוּ תָמִיד וּתְבַטֵּל רְצוֹנְךָ מִפְּנֵי רְצוֹנֵנוּ וְנִגְזַר־אֹמֶר וְיָקוּם, וּתְקַיֵּם מִקְרָא שֶׁכָּתוּב, אָנֹכִי יְהֹוָה אֱלֹהֶיךָ הַמַּעַלְךָ מֵאֶרֶץ מִצְרָיִם הַרְחֶב פִּיךָ וַאֲמַלְאֵהוּ.
Let me sanctify my mouth with holy words, and help me make amends for all the damage I’ve done with my mouth. Let me fill my mouth with blessings and praises of HaShem. Help me perfect my speech so that my words will be true vessels for blessing, and I will always be able to draw down a goodly flow of blessing, compassion, life and peace through my words. Hear my prayers at all times. Set aside Your will in favor of my will. Let me say a word and see it fulfilled as if it were a decree. Fulfill the verse, “I am HaShem Your God, Who brought you up from the land of Egypt. Open your mouth and I will fill it!”
וְתַעַזְרֵנוּ בְּרַחֲמֶיךָ שֶׁנִּזְכֶּה מְהֵרָה לִקְדֻשַּׁת הַבְּרִית בֶּאֱמֶת, וְנִזְכֶּה לְתַקֵּן כָּל מִינֵי פְּגָם הַבְּרִית שֶׁפָּגַמְנוּ עַד הֵנָּה.
Compassionate God, bring me quickly to truly observe the covenant. Let me make amends for everything I have done until now against the covenant.
וּזְכוּת יוֹסֵף הַצַּדִּיק שֶׁעָמַד בְּנִּסָּיוֹן, וּזְכוּת כָּל הַצַּדִּיקִים אֲמִתִּיִּים שֶׁעָמְדוּ בְּנִסְיוֹנוֹת רַבּוֹת אֵין מִסְפָּר וְכָפוּ אֶת יִצְרָם לְמַעַן שְׁמֶךָ, יָגֵנוּ עָלֵינוּ. וּבִזְכוּתָם וְכֹחָם תַּעֲזֹר לִי מֵעַתָּה, יְהֹוָה אֱלֹהַי וֵאלֹהֵי אֲבוֹתַי, שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה גַּם כֵּן לָכֹף אֶת יִצְרִי וְתַאֲוָתִי.
Protect me in the merit of Joseph the Tzaddik, who withstood his challenge, and in the merit of all the other true tzaddikim who remained firm in the face of innumerable trials and controlled their desires for the sake of Your Name. Through their merit and strength, help me from now on, HaShem my God and God of my fathers, so that I too will be able to control my evil urge and lustful cravings.
וְתַצִּילֵנִי בְּרַחֲמֶיךָ מִכָּל מִינֵי פְּגָם הַבְּרִית שֶׁבָּעוֹלָם, וְלֹא אֵבוֹשׁ וְלֹא אֶכָּשֵׁל בְּשׁוּם מִכְשׁוֹל וְהִרְהוּר רָע כְּלָל מֵעַתָּה וְעַד עוֹלָם,
Compassionate God, save me from violating the covenant in any way, and let me never be ashamed and never stumble in either thought or deed from now on and forever.
וּתְזַכֵּנִי מְהֵרָה לְתִקּוּן הַבְּרִית בֶּאֱמֶת וּבִשְׁלֵמוּת כִּרְצוֹנְךָ הַטּוֹב, וְאֶזְכֶּה לְתַקֵּן בִּשְׁלֵמוּת בְּרִית הַלָּשׁוֹן וּבְרִית הַמָּעוֹר.
Speedily bring me to observe the covenant perfectly, in accordance with Your will, both by sanctifying my tongue and by curbing my physical urges.
וּתְחָנֵּנוּ מֵאִתְּךָ חָכְמָה וּבִינָה וָדַעַת דִּקְדֻשָּׁה, וְאֶזְכֶּה לִלְמֹד וּלְלַמֵּד בְּהַתְמָדָה גְּדוֹלָה וּלְקַיֵּם אֶת כָּל דִּבְרֵי תוֹרָתֶךָ בְאַהֲבָה.
Grant me wisdom, understanding and knowledge so that I will be able to apply myself assiduously to the study and teaching of Torah. Let me fulfill all the words of Your Torah with love.
חוּס וְחָנֵּנוּ וְרַחֵם עָלֵינוּ וּמַלֵּא מִשְׁאֲלוֹתֵינוּ בְּרַחֲמִים, חָנֵּנוּ וַעֲנֵנוּ וּשְׁמַע תְּפִלָּתֵנוּ, כִּי אַתָּה שׁוֹמֵעַ תְּפִלַּת כָּל פֶּה עַמְּךָ יִשְׂרָאֵל בְּרַחֲמִים, בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה שׁוֹמֵעַ תְּפִלָּה.
Have pity on me. Be kind to me. Have mercy on me. Compassionately fulfill my requests. Graciously listen to and answer my prayers, for You hear the prayers said by every one of Your people Israel with compassion. Blessed are You Who hear prayer.
יִהְיוּ לְרָצוֹן אִמְרֵי פִי וְהֶגְיוֹן לִבִּי לְפָנֶיךָ יְהֹוָה צוּרִי וְגוֹאֲלִי:
“May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing before You, HaShem, my Rock and my Redeemer.”