Sovereignty, Hidden and Revealed / Admonishing Others / Learning Torah / Receiving Godliness in Proper Measure / A Single and a Double Concealment of Godliness / The Concealments Themselves Reveal Godliness / The Highest Torah / Greed / Earning a Living without Toil / Shavuot / Mikvah / Dispute for the Sake of Heaven / Sighing / Inspired Words from Heaven Every Jew possesses a degree of sovereignty. One person may rule in his home, another in his community, another over the entire world. Sometimes that sovereignty is revealed, but at other times it is hidden — i.e., a person rules over souls that are subject to his influence. And every Jew possesses something of that hidden sovereignty. Indeed, it is possible for a person to possess no revealed sovereignty, yet sway a great deal of hidden sovereignty, even over the Tzaddikim of the generation. A person can use his sovereignty for selfish purposes, exploiting it like a slave who serves his desires. But it should be free — that is, he should use it to serve God, by teaching and admonishing others. Each person has a responsibility to admonish the people from his soul-root who are under his sovereignty. When he shirks this responsibility, he is punished. But if does not know what they need, how can he do so? Thus he requires the proper awareness to know how to admonish them. He can attain that awareness through a state called “length of days.” He attains this state by learning Torah. The Torah is the name of God. Just as we call a person by his name, so too do we call God to come to us by learning Torah. God is the Source of life. Therefore, when we call God to ourselves, we are calling life and “length of days” to ourselves. Yet we must absorb that life force in the proper measure. Should there be too much, it will be like too much oil, which extinguishes a flame. We make that proper measure by learning Torah. A name is an object’s container, in which that object is defined and delineated. The life force of God, Who is the Source of life, is contained within the Torah. Indeed, the Torah consists of containers: letters, words, verses and chapters. They hold God’s life force in a measured manner. By learning Torah, we draw “length of days” to ourselves. In that way, we attain awareness, because awareness itself is our life force. And when we attain awareness, we are able to admonish those people over whom we have sovereignty and for whom we are responsible. But sometimes God’s life force is hidden. There are two types of spiritual concealment: simple and doubled. If God is concealed simply, although it is hard to find Him, then insofar as a person knows that God is hidden, when he toils, he will find Him. If God is doubly hidden, however, the very fact of his concealment is concealed. Then a person does not even know that God is hidden and, of course, he cannot find Him. Nevertheless, even in that double concealment, God is present, because nothing exists without His life force. Thus God is contained within all objects, deeds and thoughts. Even if a person sins, God’s life force is there, although it is very hidden and constricted. The Torah is the life force of everything. Thus it is contained within everything — in every thought, even a sinful one — although the Torah is then very hidden and constricted. When a person sins, he takes God’s words and rearranges them, calling evil, good, and vice versa. This person’s conscience, however, is still functioning. This is one level of concealment. But at times, there may be a double concealment, when a person has sinned so much that he has no sense that he is doing anything wrong. There too God is hidden in the letters of the Torah. We must reveal those concealments. We do that by drawing “length of days” into our sovereignty. This gives us the awareness that even within concealment — even within a double concealment — God is to be found within the Torah. Then the concealments themselves are transformed into Torah, and then the Torah itself admonishes people. Indeed, the Torah is always admonishing us, but we do not hear its voice because it is concealed. But when we learn Torah, we draw “length of days” into sovereignty. We draw God’s life force into “days” and “measures.” As a result, we attain awareness, and we are able to admonish even those who are far from God — those who suffer from concealment within concealment. The Torah teachings that are contained within a double concealment are very high. They consist of the secrets of the Torah. If the Torah contained within such low places — in the midst of people who have sinned a great deal — consisted of simple meanings, then the evil “husks” would be able to derive much from it, and that would cause great damage. Therefore, God hides and contains a high-level Torah there — the secrets of the Torah, the Torah of HaShem itself — from which the “husks” cannot derive very much. When that Torah is redeemed, it literally becomes the “Torah of HaShem.” There is an energy that opposes holy sovereignty, and that is evil sovereignty. Holy sovereignty gathers everything together. Evil sovereignty gathers money together. Fearful lest its prey — the sparks of holiness — be taken from its mouth, it gathers money, which consists of sparks of holiness — the supernal colors inherent in gold, silver and copper. Thus a person experiences a desire for wealth, which corresponds to sovereignty. Holy sovereignty has the power to take money from evil sovereignty, together with all the holy sparks that evil has swallowed up. That money itself is then transformed into Torah. The greater a person’s awareness, the easier it is for him to earn a living. Earning a living without excessive toil is dependent on one’s awareness. When a person’s awareness is increased, peace is increased as well. Then two opposites, such as a lion and a lamb, can live together. Then anger and cruelty cease to exist, because they are the result of a lack of awareness. This corresponds to the festival of Shavuot. Shavuot embodies a very high level of awareness — of supernal love and compassion which depend on awareness. Therefore, it is customary on Shavuot morning to go to the mikvah. That is the gate of supernal awareness, which saves a person from troubles and purifies him from all impurity. Dispute is normally the opposite of awareness. However, there is “a dispute for the sake of Heaven.” That is actually an even greater state of awareness than the awareness of peace. To attain a dispute for the sake of Heaven, a person must truly sigh, for that strengthens and steadies his pulse — which was weakened and made unsteady and heavy by depression. Then he receives inspired words from Heaven. It is possible that in a practical sense, the halakhah is not in accordance with his words. That is something that we cannot understand. Nevertheless, we must respect this person’s words and realize that they form part of a dispute for the sake of Heaven. “Why do You hide Your face and forget our suffering and oppression?” Why, HaShem, do You reject my soul? Why do You conceal Your countenance from me? Why, HaShem, do You stand at a distance? Why do You hide Yourself from me in my time of trouble?
How long, HaShem, will You hide, as Your wrath burns like fire? How long, HaShem, will You forget me? How long will I have to take my own counsel, with sadness in my heart? How long will my enemies rise up against me? “Do not hide Your face from me on my day of trouble. Turn Your ear to me on the day that I call to You.” Answer me swiftly. HaShem, my spirit is dying. Do not hide Your face from me. Do not abandon me to descend into the pit. “Answer me, HaShem, answer me,” because I am in anguish. “Do not conceal Your face from me. Do not hide from my entreaty.”
Concealment within Concealment Master of the World, King of the universe, You hide Yourself so thoroughly that only You know how completely You are concealed during these days that precede the coming of the Mashiach. “You have hidden Your face from us and caused us to melt because of our sins.”
You have hidden Yourself so completely. You have hidden Your might, Your greatness, splendor, sovereignty and supremacy — the fact that You hold dominion over everything — because we sinned and did evil in Your eyes, from our youth until this day.
In particular, I have sinned over and over again, so much so that I have started to view my sins as permissible behavior. I have twisted Your words, my Living God, and misinterpreted the letters of Your holy Torah until I have called the forbidden, permissible.
Even worse, I have repeated my sins innumerable times, too many to count. I have angered You so often that my sins weigh down on my neck like a yoke, “until there is no end to counting, for there is no number.”
And because I have sinned so much, You have become concealed even more within concealment. Even the fact that You are concealed is itself concealed from me, so that I do not realize how much of Yourself You hide from me, because I know nothing about You at all.
Instead, I view my sins as being normal and proper. “Woe to us, for we are desolate.” What can I say to You, God, You Who sit in the heights? What shall I reveal to You, You Who dwell in the heavens? You know everything, hidden and revealed.”
My Father in Heaven, what can I do? What can I accomplish? I am poor and needy — where will I find the strength to realize the depth of Your concealment within concealment? You are so hidden from me that I have forgotten the goodness and holiness which should be part of my experience. “You rejected my spirit so that it would not experience peace; I have forgotten what is good” — and all because I forgot You.
Even if I sometimes remember something of Your greatness, Your might, Your greatness, sovereignty and exalted nature, and I yearn to return to You, my strength is sapped and I lack the capacity to overcome my evil desires. “My life has been worn out with groaning, and my years with sighs.”
I do not know where to run in order to hide from my evil desires, my confusion, and the depression and anxiety that have overwhelmed me, which stand over me and do not allow my spirit to return.
And so, my Father in Heaven, have mercy on me. Look at my suffering and my drudgery. See “my suffering and my affliction, which are wormwood and gall. See, HaShem, how I suffer. My inner organs burn; my heart has turned over within me, because I am so embittered. See, HaShem, that the enemy goes forward and no one is saved or helped. You have covered Yourself with a cloud that prevents prayer from passing through. You have cloaked Yourself in anger and oppressed us.”
Wordless Before God Master of the Universe, You Who are filled with compassion, “be gracious to me, HaShem. See the suffering that my enemies have imposed upon me. Lift me up from the gates of death.” Remember me, and consider whom You are pursuing: “After whom has the king of Israel gone forth? After a dead dog, after a single flea.” Will You overwhelm a blown leaf? Will You pursue the dry straw?”
Master of the Universe, my mouth cannot express itself. I lack the confidence even to raise my head before You. There are no words on my tongue because You know everything, HaShem. You have lifted me up and cast me down. “HaShem, when You favored me, You made me as strong as a mountain. But You have hidden Your face and I am in distress.”
Answer me, HaShem, in the goodness of Your love. Turn to me in accordance with the measure of Your compassion. Do not hide Your face from me, Your servant. I am suffering — answer me soon!
“To You, HaShem, do I call. Before HaShem do I beg. What value would there be to my blood if I were to go down to the pit? Would the dust thank You? Would it tell of Your truth? Hear, HaShem, and be gracious to me. HaShem, help me!”
I do not know how to bring to awareness how You have concealed Yourself within concealment. There are so many thousands — even tens of thousands — of layers of concealment that I do not know how to save myself and escape from the trap.
Finding God in the Torah God, in Your great compassion, You have created a plan that will ultimately bring us to goodness. You have promised us that whenever we study the holy Torah, we will find You — even in this era, before the end of days, when You are so profoundly concealed within concealment. As the verse states, “I will surely hide My face on that day. … This song will speak up before the Jews as a witness, for it shall not be forgotten from the mouth of their offspring.”
Therefore, I have come to You, HaShem, my God and the God of my fathers, You Who are filled with compassion and grace, You Who are good and do good to all, to ask You to guide me in learning Your holy Torah for its own sake, day and night, in holiness and purity — so that at every moment and in every place, I will discover You, concealed within concealment.
Guide me to learn the holy Torah aloud. Give me the strength to call to You, the life force of all life, by means of the holy Torah, which is Your Name.
In this way, may I draw down onto myself a good and long life. For You are the life force of all life, Who gives life to all worlds, from beginning to end — by means of Your holy Torah, which is Your Name, which is “our life and the length of our days.”
Guide me to receive that life in a graduated, measured fashion, through the vessels of holiness that are brought into being by the chapters, paragraphs, verses, words, cantillation, vowels, crowns and letters of the holy Torah.
Discovering Holy Secrets in the Torah Master of the Universe, You are close to those who truly call out to You. Inspire me to call out to You and respond to me quickly. As I call, answer; as I entreat, respond.
Graciously grant me the gifts of knowledge, understanding and wisdom. As a result of learning Your holy Torah, may I gain a good life consisting of length of days and years, wisdom, understanding and the knowledge of holiness. May I know that You exist at every time and place, even in the depths of concealment within concealment. You are hidden within all the concealments of the world. Even in thousands, tens of thousands and infinite layers of concealment, You are there. There is no place empty of You.
You give life to everything. Even all the negative energies, all unclean things, all aspects of evil — all things that conceal You — receive their life force from You alone.
Teach me to comprehend this with a truly encompassing awareness and faith. Then I will transform that concealment within concealment into knowledge, and all these concealments will be transformed into holy Torah as they are revealed.
May I gain a revelation of the secrets of the Torah, so that I will understand them and hear the mighty voice that proclaims the words of the holy Torah. But “at the head of the noisy streets, wisdom calls out: … ‘How long, foolish people, will you love foolishness?’” Due to my many sins, I do not hear that proclamation.
So for the sake of Your Name, have compassion on me so that I will learn Your holy Torah aloud with great holiness, until I do hear that great proclamation of the holy Torah, the voice of the “Living God and King of the world, the great voice that does not cease.”
The Torah itself reprimands with a rebuke impelled by a hidden love. As the verse states, “She opens her mouth with wisdom and the Torah of kindness is on her tongue.” And, as a result, may I return to You quickly and easily.
Help me to discover the combinations of the letters of the holy Torah that lie concealed. Help me to raise them up and transform them into holiness. Help me to bring them back to their original place and combine them in a holy manner, and in doing so, reveal true, wondrous and awesome Torah insights.
Guide me to discover the wondrous and hidden secrets of Your holy Torah, which You have set aside for those Who fear You. Enable me to differentiate between the prohibited and the permissible, the holy and the mundane, the impure and the pure, the kosher and the nonkosher.
Inspire me to divest myself of evil and of those things that are forbidden. Instead, may I cling to holiness, in truth and faith, so that I will turn aside from evil and always do that which is good in Your eyes.
Becoming a Holy Leader Lead me to a perfect awareness of holiness, so that I will adorn myself — and others too — with a truly complete repentance. By learning the holy Torah, I will awaken others to repent — even those people who are very far from me. I will bring them from darkness to light and from the mundane to the holy.
May I never use my leadership abilities for any selfish purpose whatsoever. May I never exploit them as if they were my servant, but rather treat them with respect, using my leadership abilities only for the sake of Your Name, only to serve You.
Graciously give me a holy awareness so that I will know how to admonish all those who are under my influence — be they my sons, daughters and other family members, or my friends and others in my circle.
May I admonish them and guide them in Your Torah, inspiring them to return to You; not to follow after the stubbornness of their evil hearts, but instead to look at themselves and have pity on their souls, so that they will cling to the ways of Your Torah, turning away from evil and doing good, never swerving from the mitzvot, right or left.
Keep me from being damaged, Heaven forbid, by my relationship to my trait of leadership. Rather, help me to draw into my leadership abilities a good and long life. May I bring all my leadership abilities to You without using them for selfish purposes, but solely for Your Name. As the verse states, “Sovereignty belongs to HaShem.”
Overcoming the Desire for Riches Compassionate God, rescue me from the lust for money. Help me to break the desire to become a magnate. May I have no ambition whatsoever to accumulate wealth in this world that is not ours. Instead, may all my desires, yearning and activity be directed only in the ways of the holy Torah: to acquire wisdom and a perfect awareness of holiness, and cling to Your holy mitzvot.
In this lifetime, may I rectify all the blemishes that I created with my desire for money. May I extract all the sparks of holiness that were swallowed up by negative energies because of my evil desires, particularly my lust for money. May the verse be speedily realized, “Although it has swallowed wealth, it will vomit it up; God will cast it out of its belly.”
For Purim God, inspire me to overcome and uproot the energy of Haman and Amalek — which is to say, the lust for money. May I extract all the life force of holiness from that energy, and bring all the sparks of holiness and the life force of holiness back to their supernal root in holiness, and turn them back into holy Torah.
May I always draw onto myself the holiness of Mordekhai the Jew and Queen Esther. Help me to reveal and illumine all the supernal hues — of silver, gold and copper — in a holy and pure way, in accordance with Your desire.
Nullify dispute in the world. Remove greed, jealousy, irritation and argument from Your entire nation, the House of Israel, forever. Instead, draw compassion into the world, so that there will truly be peace among all Jews and among all people, and everyone in the world will have true compassion and love for each other.
Send me a good income from Heaven. Just as You fed Your nation, the Jewish people, in the wilderness for forty years with the manna and supplied them with everything they needed, have pity on me and send me an abundance of income from Heaven. Give me everything that I need without toil, so that I may do Your will, keep Your laws and learn Your Torah day and night — because otherwise, all the days of my life are vanity, passing like a shadow. And “if not now, when?”
For Shavuot Help me to purify and sanctify myself by regularly immersing in a mikvah. May I merit to draw upon myself great purity and holiness through immersion in the mikvah to purify myself from all sins and to cleanse myself of all the sins that I committed from my youth until this day, and thus pour onto myself awareness and compassion.
By immersing in the mikvah, may I sweeten all judgments against me, my offspring, and Your entire nation, the Jewish people, eliminating all sorrows and evil decrees.
As a result of immersing in the holy and awesome mikvah, may the verse be realized, “HaShem is the Mikvah of Israel, saving them in a time of trouble.”
In particular, may I draw onto myself the holiness of the mikvah on the holy festival of Shavuot, when the Jewish people came close to You and received the holy Torah.
On Shavuot, may we all immerse in the supernal mikvah, the mikvah of the fiftieth gate of holiness, which consists of compassion, kindness and a high state of awareness.
May we draw down onto ourselves the holiness of that mikvah every year so as to purify and sanctify ourselves always, and quickly emerge from the fifty gates of impurity and enter the fifty gates of holiness. May the verse soon be realized in us, “I will sprinkle pure waters upon you and purify You; of all Your contaminations and all your idols, I will purify you.”
Dispute Among the Sages Inspire me to attain true faith in the sages. Imbue me with a complete awareness that will lead me to truly know and believe in all the Tzaddikim and true sages, so that no dispute among them will ever upset me. Rather, I will know and believe that each one is expressing the words of the Living God, all of which are true and just. Then I will not disparage any of the sages, even those with whom the halakhah does not accord; for their words are the way of HaShem, although that is something wondrous that we cannot understand.
May I not spend time puzzling over this, but believe only that all the words of the Tzaddikim — even those that contradict each other — are Your words, my Living God.
Overcoming Anxiety Dear God, rescue me from the toil of my hands. Nullify all my depression, worries and anxiety, particularly my worries concerning earning a living. Because of my many sins and evil desires, my heart is overcome with heaviness, depression and anxiety, and earning a living has become a difficult burden. As a result, the spirit of my heart has closed down so that its pulse cannot radiate properly through my limbs.
As a result, my hands and limbs have grown heavy. And because of that heaviness, the spirit of my heart grows ever weaker, until my depression leads to so much heaviness, weakness and a sealed heart that I am close to death, Heaven forbid; “there is but a step between me and death.”
The Strength to Bear the Load Master of the Universe, You know all this. You know my bitter and unsettled heart. The agony of my heart reaches to the heights of Heaven. “The strength to bear the load has collapsed.” “Woe is me, my mother, that you gave birth to me!” Woe to my spirit, woe and bitterness. HaShem, have mercy on me. I have no idea how to begin to speak to You. How can I open my mouth? How can I lift up my eyes? How can a servant speak to his Master? “Indeed, I sinned against HaShem, God of Israel.” I did that which is evil in Your eyes. “Like vinegar upon the teeth and like smoke in the eyes,” so did I act. I was like a murderer of my own spirit, with no pity on myself or on my passing days.
Father of compassion, my Rock, Redeemer, Maker and Creator, my King and Holy One, You Who contrive how to bring me to a good end — give me ideas that will help me to return to You and never to go back to my foolish ways. All I know is to entreat You to have compassion on me and help me to crush my desires, so that they will be truly subjugated to You.
A Healing Sigh Dear God, purify me so that I will be able to sigh from the depths of my heart. And with this sigh, revive the spirit of the pulse of holiness in my heart, so that this spirit will again spread and breathe properly through my limbs, particularly my hands. May I quickly rectify the blemishes in my hands, which I have caused from my youth until this day, so that I will at last lift my hands to You, “Supernal God, Creator of heaven and earth,” and realize the verse, “Let us lift up our hearts with our hands to God in Heaven.”
Inspire me to be joyful always and never to experience depression or bitterness. Bring me to true holiness and purity. Guide me to rise level by level in great holiness until, aided by the strength of the true Tzaddikim, I receive words from Heaven and realize that a dispute in matters of holiness is not dispute at all, but only love, camaraderie, friendship and peace — because “each side is expressing the words of the Living God.”
My Father, my King, You know that I cannot speak to You truly and fully. You know how much my sins have caused me to lose. And so, HaShem, You Who are filled with compassion, proclaim, “Enough!” to my difficulties. Have pity on me. Lead me to quickly return to You. Provide me with my sustenance before I am in need, and may I never take loans and go into debt.
Master of the Universe, save me from the “toil of the hands.” Rescue me from the difficulties involved in earning a living. In the merit of the true Tzaddikim, bring me consolation. And bring the righteous Mashiach, so that the verse will be realized, “This one will console us for our deeds and for the toil of our hands.”
“Turn to me and be gracious to me. Give Your might to Your servant and save the son of Your maidservant. Perform for me a sign for good. Then my enemies will see and grow ashamed, because You, HaShem, are my help and my consolation.” Amen, amen.
[עַל־פִּי תּוֹרָה נ"ו - וּבְיוֹם הַבִּכּוּרִים]
לָמָּה פָנֶיךָ תַּסְתִּיר תִּשְׁכַּח עָנְיֵנוּ וְלַחֲצֵנוּ. לָמָּה יְהֹוָה תִּזְנַח נַפְשִׁי תַּסְתִּיר פָּנֶיךָ מִמֶּנִּי. לָמָּה יְהֹוָה תַּעֲמֹד בְּרָחוֹק תַּעְלִים לְעִתּוֹת בַּצָּרָה.
Sovereignty, Hidden and Revealed / Admonishing Others / Learning Torah / Receiving Godliness in Proper Measure / A Single and a Double Concealment of Godliness / The Concealments Themselves Reveal Godliness / The Highest Torah / Greed / Earning a Living without Toil / Shavuot / Mikvah / Dispute for the Sake of Heaven / Sighing / Inspired Words from Heaven
Every Jew possesses a degree of sovereignty. One person may rule in his home, another in his community, another over the entire world.
Sometimes that sovereignty is revealed, but at other times it is hidden — i.e., a person rules over souls that are subject to his influence. And every Jew possesses something of that hidden sovereignty. Indeed, it is possible for a person to possess no revealed sovereignty, yet sway a great deal of hidden sovereignty, even over the Tzaddikim of the generation.
A person can use his sovereignty for selfish purposes, exploiting it like a slave who serves his desires. But it should be free — that is, he should use it to serve God, by teaching and admonishing others.
Each person has a responsibility to admonish the people from his soul-root who are under his sovereignty. When he shirks this responsibility, he is punished. But if does not know what they need, how can he do so? Thus he requires the proper awareness to know how to admonish them. He can attain that awareness through a state called “length of days.” He attains this state by learning Torah.
The Torah is the name of God. Just as we call a person by his name, so too do we call God to come to us by learning Torah. God is the Source of life. Therefore, when we call God to ourselves, we are calling life and “length of days” to ourselves. Yet we must absorb that life force in the proper measure. Should there be too much, it will be like too much oil, which extinguishes a flame. We make that proper measure by learning Torah.
A name is an object’s container, in which that object is defined and delineated. The life force of God, Who is the Source of life, is contained within the Torah. Indeed, the Torah consists of containers: letters, words, verses and chapters. They hold God’s life force in a measured manner. By learning Torah, we draw “length of days” to ourselves. In that way, we attain awareness, because awareness itself is our life force. And when we attain awareness, we are able to admonish those people over whom we have sovereignty and for whom we are responsible.
But sometimes God’s life force is hidden.
There are two types of spiritual concealment: simple and doubled. If God is concealed simply, although it is hard to find Him, then insofar as a person knows that God is hidden, when he toils, he will find Him. If God is doubly hidden, however, the very fact of his concealment is concealed. Then a person does not even know that God is hidden and, of course, he cannot find Him.
Nevertheless, even in that double concealment, God is present, because nothing exists without His life force. Thus God is contained within all objects, deeds and thoughts. Even if a person sins, God’s life force is there, although it is very hidden and constricted.
The Torah is the life force of everything. Thus it is contained within everything — in every thought, even a sinful one — although the Torah is then very hidden and constricted.
When a person sins, he takes God’s words and rearranges them, calling evil, good, and vice versa. This person’s conscience, however, is still functioning. This is one level of concealment. But at times, there may be a double concealment, when a person has sinned so much that he has no sense that he is doing anything wrong. There too God is hidden in the letters of the Torah.
We must reveal those concealments. We do that by drawing “length of days” into our sovereignty. This gives us the awareness that even within concealment — even within a double concealment — God is to be found within the Torah. Then the concealments themselves are transformed into Torah, and then the Torah itself admonishes people. Indeed, the Torah is always admonishing us, but we do not hear its voice because it is concealed.
But when we learn Torah, we draw “length of days” into sovereignty. We draw God’s life force into “days” and “measures.” As a result, we attain awareness, and we are able to admonish even those who are far from God — those who suffer from concealment within concealment.
The Torah teachings that are contained within a double concealment are very high. They consist of the secrets of the Torah. If the Torah contained within such low places — in the midst of people who have sinned a great deal — consisted of simple meanings, then the evil “husks” would be able to derive much from it, and that would cause great damage. Therefore, God hides and contains a high-level Torah there — the secrets of the Torah, the Torah of HaShem itself — from which the “husks” cannot derive very much. When that Torah is redeemed, it literally becomes the “Torah of HaShem.”
There is an energy that opposes holy sovereignty, and that is evil sovereignty. Holy sovereignty gathers everything together. Evil sovereignty gathers money together. Fearful lest its prey — the sparks of holiness — be taken from its mouth, it gathers money, which consists of sparks of holiness — the supernal colors inherent in gold, silver and copper. Thus a person experiences a desire for wealth, which corresponds to sovereignty. Holy sovereignty has the power to take money from evil sovereignty, together with all the holy sparks that evil has swallowed up. That money itself is then transformed into Torah.
The greater a person’s awareness, the easier it is for him to earn a living. Earning a living without excessive toil is dependent on one’s awareness. When a person’s awareness is increased, peace is increased as well. Then two opposites, such as a lion and a lamb, can live together. Then anger and cruelty cease to exist, because they are the result of a lack of awareness.
This corresponds to the festival of Shavuot. Shavuot embodies a very high level of awareness — of supernal love and compassion which depend on awareness. Therefore, it is customary on Shavuot morning to go to the mikvah. That is the gate of supernal awareness, which saves a person from troubles and purifies him from all impurity.
Dispute is normally the opposite of awareness. However, there is “a dispute for the sake of Heaven.” That is actually an even greater state of awareness than the awareness of peace. To attain a dispute for the sake of Heaven, a person must truly sigh, for that strengthens and steadies his pulse — which was weakened and made unsteady and heavy by depression. Then he receives inspired words from Heaven. It is possible that in a practical sense, the halakhah is not in accordance with his words. That is something that we cannot understand. Nevertheless, we must respect this person’s words and realize that they form part of a dispute for the sake of Heaven.
“Why do You hide Your face and forget our suffering and oppression?” Why, HaShem, do You reject my soul? Why do You conceal Your countenance from me? Why, HaShem, do You stand at a distance? Why do You hide Yourself from me in my time of trouble?
עַד מָה יְהֹוָה תִּסָּתֵר לָנֶצַח תִּבְעַר כְּמוֹ אֵשׁ חֲמָתֶךָ. עַד אָנָה יְהֹוָה תִּשְׁכָּחֵנִי נֶצַח עַד אָנָה תַּסְתִּיר אֶת פָּנֶיךָ מִמֶּנִּי. עַד אָנָה אָשִׁית עֵצוֹת בְּנַפְשִׁי יָגוֹן בִּלְבָבִי יוֹמָם עַד אָנָה יָרוּם אוֹיְבִי עָלָי. אַל תַּסְתֵּר פָּנֶיךָ מִמֶּנִּי בְּיוֹם צַר לִי הַטֵּה אֵלַי אָזְנֶךָ בְּיוֹם אֶקְרָא מַהֵר עֲנֵנִי. מַהֵר עֲנֵנִי יְהֹוָה כָּלְתָה רוּחִי אַל תַּסְתֵּר פָּנֶיךָ מִמֶּנִּי, וְנִמְשַׁלְתִּי עִם יוֹרְדֵי בוֹר. עֲנֵנִי יְהֹוָה עֲנֵנִי כִּי בְצָרָה גְּדוֹלָה אָנִי. אַל תַּסְתֵּר פָּנֶיךָ מִמֶּנִּי, וְאַל תִּתְעַלַּם מִתְּחִנָּתִי:
How long, HaShem, will You hide, as Your wrath burns like fire? How long, HaShem, will You forget me? How long will I have to take my own counsel, with sadness in my heart? How long will my enemies rise up against me? “Do not hide Your face from me on my day of trouble. Turn Your ear to me on the day that I call to You.” Answer me swiftly. HaShem, my spirit is dying. Do not hide Your face from me. Do not abandon me to descend into the pit. “Answer me, HaShem, answer me,” because I am in anguish. “Do not conceal Your face from me. Do not hide from my entreaty.”
רִבּוֹנוֹ שֶׁל עוֹלָם, מֶלֶךְ עוֹלָמִים, אֲדוֹן כֹּל, מוֹשֵׁל בַּכֹּל, אֵל מִסְתַּתֵּר, מָלֵא רַחֲמִים, אַתָּה לְבַד יוֹדֵעַ אֶת עֹצֶם תֹּקֶף תַּעֲלוּמוֹת הַהַסְתָּרָה, שֶׁהִתְגַּבְּרָה עַכְשָׁיו מְאֹד בָּעִתִּים הַלָּלוּ בְּעוּקְבָא דִמְשִׁיחָא, כִּי הִסְתַּרְתָּ פָנֶיךָ מִמֶּנּוּ וַתְּמוּגֵנוּ בְּיַד עֲוֹנֵנוּ,
Concealment within Concealment
Master of the World, King of the universe, You hide Yourself so thoroughly that only You know how completely You are concealed during these days that precede the coming of the Mashiach. “You have hidden Your face from us and caused us to melt because of our sins.”
וְנִתְקַיֵּם בָּנוּ עַכְשָׁיו בַּעֲוֹנוֹתֵינוּ הָרַבִּים, וְאָנֹכִי הַסְתֵּר אַסְתִּיר פָּנַי בַּיּוֹם הַהוּא עַל כָּל אֲשֶׁר עָשָׂה.
For our many sins, the verse has been realized, “I will surely hide My face on that day because of all that was done.”
כִּי נִסְתַּרְתָּ מֵאִתָּנוּ מְאֹד מְאֹד, עַד אֲשֶׁר נֶעְלָם וְנִסְתָּר מֵאִתָּנוּ תָּקְפְּךָ וְגָדְלְךָ וְתִפְאַרְתְּךָ וּמַלְכוּתְךָ וּמֶמְשַׁלְתְּךָ הַגְּדוֹלָה אֲשֶׁר בַּכֹּל מָשָׁלָה. כִּי חָטָאתִי עָוִיתִי וּפָשַׁעְתִּי לְפָנֶיךָ וְהָרַע בְּעֵינֶיךָ עָשִׂיתִי מִנְּעוּרַי עַד הַיּוֹם הַזֶּה,
You have hidden Yourself so completely. You have hidden Your might, Your greatness, splendor, sovereignty and supremacy — the fact that You hold dominion over everything — because we sinned and did evil in Your eyes, from our youth until this day.
וְעָבַרְתִּי וְשָׁנִיתִי כַּמָּה פְּעָמִים עַד אֲשֶׁר נַעֲשָׂה לִי כְּהֶתֵּר, וְהָפַכְתִּי דִּבְרֵי אֱלֹהִים חַיִּים וְקִלְקַלְתִּי צֵרוּפֵי אוֹתִיּוֹת הַתּוֹרָה הַקְּדוֹשָׁה, עַד אֲשֶׁר נַעֲשָׂה אֶצְלִי מֵאִסּוּר הֶתֵּר,
In particular, I have sinned over and over again, so much so that I have started to view my sins as permissible behavior. I have twisted Your words, my Living God, and misinterpreted the letters of Your holy Torah until I have called the forbidden, permissible.
וְלֹא דַי לִי בָּזֶה, כִּי אִם עוֹד הוֹסַפְתִּי לַעֲשׂוֹת תּוֹעֵבוֹת גְּדוֹלוֹת מֵאֵלֶּה, וְכָפַלְתִּי וְשִׁלַשְׁתִּי בָּהֶם כַּמָּה פְּעָמִים בְּלִי שִׁעוּר וָעֵרֶךְ, עַד אֲשֶׁר נִלְאֵתִי מִלִּסְפֹּר רֹב הֲמוֹן יְמֵי חַטֹּאתַי כַּמָּה וְכַמָּה פְּעָמִים הִכְעַסְתִּיךָ, עַד אֲשֶׁר הִשְׂתָּרְגוּ עָלוּ עַל צַוָּארִי עֹל עֲוֹנוֹתַי הַמְּרֻבִּים וְהָעֲצוּמִים מְאֹד מְאֹד עַד כִּי חָדַל לִסְפֹּר כִּי אֵין מִסְפָּר,
Even worse, I have repeated my sins innumerable times, too many to count. I have angered You so often that my sins weigh down on my neck like a yoke, “until there is no end to counting, for there is no number.”
עַד אֲשֶׁר בַּעֲוֹנוֹתַי הָרַבִּים הִתְגַּבְּרָה עָלַי הַהַסְתָּרָה שֶׁבְּתוֹךְ הַסְתָּרָה, כִּי נִסְתַּרְתָּ מִמֶּנּוּ מְאֹד בְּכַמָּה וְכַמָּה הַסְתָּרוֹת שֶׁבְּתוֹךְ הַסְתָּרוֹת, כִּי גַם הַהַסְתָּרָה בְּעַצְמָהּ נִסְתֶּרֶת מֵאִתָּנוּ וְאֵין אָנוּ יוֹדְעִים כְּלָל אֲפִלּוּ זֹאת שֶׁאַתָּה נִסְתָּר מֵאִתָּנוּ, כִּי אֵין אָנוּ יוֹדְעִים מִמְּךָ כְּלָל,
And because I have sinned so much, You have become concealed even more within concealment. Even the fact that You are concealed is itself concealed from me, so that I do not realize how much of Yourself You hide from me, because I know nothing about You at all.
וְהָעֲוֹנוֹת נִתְהַפְּכוּ אֶצְלֵנוּ לְמִישׁוֹר. אוֹי לָנוּ כִּי שֻׁדָּדְנוּ, מַה נֹּאמַר לְפָנֶיךָ יוֹשֵׁב מָרוֹם וּמַה נְּסַפֵּר לְפָנֶיךָ שׁוֹכֵן שְׁחָקִים הֲלֹא כָּל הַנִּסְתָּרוֹת וְהַנִּגְלוֹת אַתָּה יוֹדֵעַ.
Instead, I view my sins as being normal and proper. “Woe to us, for we are desolate.” What can I say to You, God, You Who sit in the heights? What shall I reveal to You, You Who dwell in the heavens? You know everything, hidden and revealed.”
וְעַתָּה אָבִינוּ שֶׁבַּשָּׁמַיִם, מַה נַּעֲשֶׂה וּמַה נִּפְעַל, וּבִפְרָט אָנֹכִי הַדַּל וְהָאֶבְיוֹן, מֵאַיִן אֲבַקֵּשׁ עֵזֶר לִי לְגַלּוֹת עֹצֶם הַהַסְתָּרָה שֶׁבְּתוֹךְ הַסְתָּרָה, אֲשֶׁר נִסְתַּרְתָּ מִמֶּנִּי מְאֹד מְאֹד, עַד אֲשֶׁר שָׁכַחְתִּי אֶת טוֹבָתִי וְנָשִׁיתִי אֶת קְדֻשָּׁתִי, וַתִּזְנַח מִשָּׁלוֹם נַפְשִׁי נָשִׁיתִי טוֹבָה כִּי נָשִׁיתִי מִמְּקוֹמוֹ שֶׁל עוֹלָם.
My Father in Heaven, what can I do? What can I accomplish? I am poor and needy — where will I find the strength to realize the depth of Your concealment within concealment? You are so hidden from me that I have forgotten the goodness and holiness which should be part of my experience. “You rejected my spirit so that it would not experience peace; I have forgotten what is good” — and all because I forgot You.
וְגַם אִם עֲדַיִן אֲנִי זוֹכֵר לִפְעָמִים קְצָת מִגֹּדֶל אֱלָהוּתְךָ וְתָקְפְּךָ וְגָדְלְךָ וּמֶמְשַׁלְתְּךָ וְרוֹמְמוּתְךָ תִּתְבָּרַךְ לָעַד וּלְנֵצַח נְצָחִים, וְנַפְשִׁי תַעֲרֹג אֵלֶיךָ אֱלֹהִים מְאֹד מְאֹד, וְכוֹסְפִי וּתְשׁוּקָתִי וְגַעְגּוּעִי חָזָק וְאַמִּיץ מְאֹד מְאֹד לָשׁוּב אֵלֶיךָ בֶּאֱמֶת. אֲבָל נָשְׁתָה גְבוּרָתִי וְאֵין לְאֵל יָדִי לְהִתְגַּבֵּר עַל תַּאֲווֹתַי הָרָעוֹת וְהַמָּרוֹת מְאֹד אֲשֶׁר כָּלוּ בְיָגוֹן חַיַּי וּשְׁנוֹתַי בַּאֲנָחָה.
Even if I sometimes remember something of Your greatness, Your might, Your greatness, sovereignty and exalted nature, and I yearn to return to You, my strength is sapped and I lack the capacity to overcome my evil desires. “My life has been worn out with groaning, and my years with sighs.”
וְאֵינִי יוֹדֵעַ לְהֵיכָן אֶבְרַח, הֵיכָן אֶטָּמֵן מִפְּנֵי תַאֲווֹתַי הָרָעוֹת וּבִלְבּוּל דַּעְתִּי הֶעָצוּם. וְהָעַצְבוּת וְהַמָּרָה שְׁחוֹרָה שֶׁהִתְגַּבְּרוּ כֻּלָּם עָלַי יַחַד, לֹא יִתְּנוּנִי הָשֵׁב רוּחִי.
I do not know where to run in order to hide from my evil desires, my confusion, and the depression and anxiety that have overwhelmed me, which stand over me and do not allow my spirit to return.
אָבִי שֶׁבַּשָּׁמַיִם, רַחֵם עָלַי וּרְאֵה עָנְיִי וַעֲמָלִי, רְאֵה עָנְיִי וּמְרוּדִי לַעֲנָה וָרֹאשׁ. רְאֵה יְהֹוָה כִּי צַר לִי מֵעַי חֳמַרְמָרוּ נֶהְפַּךְ לִבִּי בְּקִרְבִּי כִּי מָרוֹ מָרִיתִי. רְאֵה יְהֹוָה, כִּי אָזְלַת יָד וְאֶפֶס עָצוּר וְעָזוּב. סַכֹּתָה בֶּעָנָן לָךְ מֵעֲבוֹר תְּפִלָּה. סַכֹּתָה בָאַף וַתִּרְדְּפֵנוּ.
And so, my Father in Heaven, have mercy on me. Look at my suffering and my drudgery. See “my suffering and my affliction, which are wormwood and gall. See, HaShem, how I suffer. My inner organs burn; my heart has turned over within me, because I am so embittered. See, HaShem, that the enemy goes forward and no one is saved or helped. You have covered Yourself with a cloud that prevents prayer from passing through. You have cloaked Yourself in anger and oppressed us.”
רִבּוֹנוֹ שֶׁל עוֹלָם, מָלֵא רַחֲמִים, מָלֵא חֲסָדִים רַבִּים, חָנְנֵנִי יְהֹוָה רְאֵה עָנְיִי מִשּׂוֹנְאָי מְרוֹמְמִי מִשַּׁעֲרֵי מָוֶת, זָכְרֵנִי נָא בִּרְצוֹנְךָ הַטּוֹב, זְכֹר נָא בְּרַחֲמֶיךָ אַחֲרֵי מִי אַתָּה רוֹדֵף, אַחֲרֵי מִי יָצָא מֶלֶךְ יִשְׂרָאֵל, אַחֲרֵי כֶּלֶב מֵת, אַחֲרֵי פַּרְעוֹשׁ אֶחָד, הֶעָלֶה נִדָּף תַּעֲרוֹץ, וְאֶת קַשׁ יָבֵשׁ תִּרְדֹּף:
Wordless Before God
Master of the Universe, You Who are filled with compassion, “be gracious to me, HaShem. See the suffering that my enemies have imposed upon me. Lift me up from the gates of death.” Remember me, and consider whom You are pursuing: “After whom has the king of Israel gone forth? After a dead dog, after a single flea.” Will You overwhelm a blown leaf? Will You pursue the dry straw?”
רִבּוֹנוֹ שֶׁל עוֹלָם, רִבּוֹנוֹ שֶׁל עוֹלָם, רִבּוֹנוֹ שֶׁל עוֹלָם. אֵין לִי פֶּה לְדַבֵּר וְלֹא מֵצַח לְהָרִים רֹאשׁ, כִּי אֵין מִלָּה בִּלְשׁוֹנִי הֵן יְהֹוָה יָדַעְתָּ כֻלָּהּ, כִּי נְשָׂאתַנִי וַתַּשְׁלִיכֵנִי. יְהֹוָה בִּרְצוֹנְךָ הֶעֱמַדְתָּ לְהַרְרִי עֹז הִסְתַּרְתָּ פָּנֶיךָ הָיִיתִי נִבְהָל.
Master of the Universe, my mouth cannot express itself. I lack the confidence even to raise my head before You. There are no words on my tongue because You know everything, HaShem. You have lifted me up and cast me down. “HaShem, when You favored me, You made me as strong as a mountain. But You have hidden Your face and I am in distress.”
עֲנֵנִי יְהֹוָה כִּי טוֹב חַסְדֶּךָ כְּרֹב רַחֲמֶיךָ פְּנֵה אֵלָי. וְאַל תַּסְתֵּר פָּנֶיךָ מֵעַבְדֶּךָ כִּי צַר לִי מַהֵר עֲנֵנִי.
Answer me, HaShem, in the goodness of Your love. Turn to me in accordance with the measure of Your compassion. Do not hide Your face from me, Your servant. I am suffering — answer me soon!
אֵלֶיךָ יְהֹוָה אֶקְרָא וְאֶל יְהֹוָה אֶתְחַנָּן. מַה בֶּצַע בְּדָמִי בְּרִדְתִּי אֶל שַׁחַת הֲיוֹדְךָ עָפָר הֲיַגִּיד אֲמִתֶּךָ. שְׁמַע יְהֹוָה וְחָנֵּנִי יְהֹוָה הֱיֵה עוֹזֵר לִי,
“To You, HaShem, do I call. Before HaShem do I beg. What value would there be to my blood if I were to go down to the pit? Would the dust thank You? Would it tell of Your truth? Hear, HaShem, and be gracious to me. HaShem, help me!”
כִּי אֵין אֲנִי יוֹדֵעַ שׁוּם דֶּרֶךְ אֵיךְ לְגַלּוֹת עֹצֶם הַהַסְתָּרָה שֶׁבְּתוֹךְ הַסְתָּרָה הַזֹּאת, הַכְּלוּלָה מֵאֲלָפִים וּרְבָבוֹת הַסְתָּרוֹת, עַד אֲשֶׁר אֵינִי יוֹדֵעַ אֵיךְ לְהִמָּלֵט מֵהֶם וְאֵיךְ לְהַצִּיל נַפְשִׁי מִפַּח יוֹקְשִׁים:
I do not know how to bring to awareness how You have concealed Yourself within concealment. There are so many thousands — even tens of thousands — of layers of concealment that I do not know how to save myself and escape from the trap.
אֲבָל בְּרַחֲמֶיךָ הָרַבִּים, חָשַׁבְתָּ מֵרָחוֹק לְהֵטִיב אַחֲרִיתֵנוּ, וְהִבְטַחְתָּנוּ שֶׁעַל־יְדֵי עֵסֶק הַתּוֹרָה הַקְּדוֹשָׁה נִזְכֶּה לִמְצֹא אוֹתְךָ תָמִיד בְּכָל עֵת, אֲפִלּוּ בְּאַחֲרִית הַיָּמִים הָאֵלֶּה, בְּתֹקֶף הַהַסְתָּרָה שֶׁבְּתוֹךְ הַסְתָּרָה, כְּמוֹ שֶׁכָּתוּב, וְאָנֹכִי הַסְתֵּר אַסְתִּיר פָּנַי בַּיּוֹם הַהוּא עַל כָּל הָרָעָה אֲשֶׁר עָשָׂה כִּי פָנָה אֶל אֱלֹהִים אֲחֵרִים. וְעָנְתָה הַשִּׁירָה הַזֹּאת לְפָנָיו לְעֵד כִּי לֹא תִשָּׁכַח מִפִּי זַרְעוֹ.
Finding God in the Torah
God, in Your great compassion, You have created a plan that will ultimately bring us to goodness. You have promised us that whenever we study the holy Torah, we will find You — even in this era, before the end of days, when You are so profoundly concealed within concealment. As the verse states, “I will surely hide My face on that day. … This song will speak up before the Jews as a witness, for it shall not be forgotten from the mouth of their offspring.”
עַל כֵּן בָּאתִי לְפָנֶיךָ יְהֹוָה אֱלֹהַי וֵאלֹהֵי אֲבוֹתַי, מָלֵא רַחֲמִים מָלֵא חֲנִינוּת, טוֹב וּמֵטִיב לַכֹּל, הַמְרַחֵם עַל הַבְּרִיּוֹת, אֲשֶׁר רַחֲמֶיךָ עַל כָּל מַעֲשֶׂיךָ, שֶׁתְּזַכֵּנִי בְּרַחֲמֶיךָ הָרַבִּים לַעֲסֹק בְּתוֹרָתְךָ הַקְּדוֹשָׁה לִשְׁמָהּ תָּמִיד יוֹמָם וָלַיְלָה בִּקְדֻשָּׁה וּבְטָהֳרָה גְּדוֹלָה, בְּאֹפֶן שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה עַל־יְדֵי עֵסֶק הַתּוֹרָה לְגַלּוֹת הַהַסְתָּרָה שֶׁבְּתוֹךְ הַסְתָּרָה,
Therefore, I have come to You, HaShem, my God and the God of my fathers, You Who are filled with compassion and grace, You Who are good and do good to all, to ask You to guide me in learning Your holy Torah for its own sake, day and night, in holiness and purity — so that at every moment and in every place, I will discover You, concealed within concealment.
וְלִמְצֹא אֱלָהוּתְךָ תָמִיד בְּכָל עֵת וּבְכָל זְמַן וּבְכָל מָקוֹם, וְלֹא יִהְיֶה כֹחַ לְשׁוּם דָּבָר וּלְשׁוּם עִנְיָן שֶׁבָּעוֹלָם לְהַסְתִּיר מִמֶּנִּי אֱלָהוּתְךָ וְהַשְׁגָּחָתְךָ וְרוֹמְמוּתְךָ יִתְבָּרַךְ.
Then nothing in the world will be able to hide You presence, Your providence and Your exalted nature from me.
וְתַעֲזֹר לִי וְתוֹשִׁיעֵנִי לַעֲסֹק בְּהַתּוֹרָה הַקְּדוֹשָׁה בְּפֶה מָלֵא לְהוֹצִיא דִבְרֵי תוֹרָה בְּפִי בִּשְׁלֵמוּת, וְתִתֶּן לָנוּ כֹחַ לִקְרוֹת אוֹתְךָ חַי הַחַיִּים עַל־יְדֵי הַתּוֹרָה הַקְּדוֹשָׁה אֲשֶׁר הִיא שְׁמֶךָ.
Guide me to learn the holy Torah aloud. Give me the strength to call to You, the life force of all life, by means of the holy Torah, which is Your Name.
וְעַל־יְדֵי־זֶה נִזְכֶּה לְקַבֵּל וּלְהַמְשִׁיךְ עָלֵינוּ חַיִּים טוֹבִים וַאֲרֻכִּים מֵאִתְּךָ, כִּי אַתָּה חַי הַחַיִּים, וְאַתָּה מְחַיֶּה כָּל הָעוֹלָמוֹת מֵרֹאשׁ וְעַד סוֹף עַל־יְדֵי הַתּוֹרָה הַקְּדוֹשָׁה אֲשֶׁר הִיא שְׁמֶךָ, כִּי הִיא חַיֵּינוּ וְאֹרֶךְ יָמֵינוּ.
In this way, may I draw down onto myself a good and long life. For You are the life force of all life, Who gives life to all worlds, from beginning to end — by means of Your holy Torah, which is Your Name, which is “our life and the length of our days.”
וּתְזַכֵּנוּ לְקַבֵּל הַחַיִּים בְּהַדְרָגָה וּבְמִדָּה, עַל־יְדֵי הַמִּדּוֹת וְהַכֵּלִים הַקְּדוֹשִׁים הַנַּעֲשִׂים עַל־יְדֵי הַפַּרְשִׁיּוֹת וְהַפְּסוּקִים וְהַסְּדָרִים וְהַתֵּבוֹת וְהַטְּעָמִים וְהַנְּקֻדּוֹת וְהַתַּגִּין וְהָאוֹתִיּוֹת שֶׁל הַתּוֹרָה הַקְּדוֹשָׁה,
Guide me to receive that life in a graduated, measured fashion, through the vessels of holiness that are brought into being by the chapters, paragraphs, verses, words, cantillation, vowels, crowns and letters of the holy Torah.
וְנִזְכֶּה עַל יָדָם לְחַיִּים טוֹבִים וַאֲרֻכִּים וְרַחֲמִים וְשָׁלוֹם וְדַעַת דִּקְדֻשָּׁה:
Through these vessels, may I attain goodness, a long life, compassion, peace and holy awareness.
רִבּוֹנוֹ שֶׁל עוֹלָם, קָרוֹב לְקוֹרְאָיו בֶּאֱמֶת, זַכֵּנוּ לִקְרֹא אוֹתְךָ בֶּאֱמֶת בְּאֹפֶן שֶׁתַּעֲנֵנוּ מְהֵרָה, וְנִקְרָאֲךָ וְתַעֲנֵנוּ, נַעְתִּיר לְךָ וְתֵעָתֶר לָנוּ.
Discovering Holy Secrets in the Torah
Master of the Universe, You are close to those who truly call out to You. Inspire me to call out to You and respond to me quickly. As I call, answer; as I entreat, respond.
חָנֵּנוּ מֵאִתְּךָ דֵּעָה בִּינָה וְהַשְׂכֵּל, זַכֵּנוּ לְהַמְשִׁיךְ מֵאִתְּךָ עַל־יְדֵי עֵסֶק הַתּוֹרָה הַקְּדוֹשָׁה חַיִּים טוֹבִים וַאֲרִיכוּת יָמִים וְשָׁנִים, וְחָכְמָה וּבִינָה וָדַעַת דִּקְדֻשָּׁה, בְּאֹפֶן שֶׁנִזְכֶּה לָדַעַת שֶׁאַתָּה נִמְצָא תָמִיד בְּכָל זְמַן וּבְכָל אָדָם וּבְכָל מָקוֹם, וַאֲפִלּוּ בְּתֹקֶף הַהַסְתָּרָה שֶׁבְּתוֹךְ הַסְתָּרָה גַּם שָׁם אַתָּה נִמְצָא, כִּי אַתָּה בְּעַצְמְךָ נִסְתָּר בְּתוֹךְ כָּל הַהַסְתָּרוֹת שֶׁבָּעוֹלָם, וַאֲפִלּוּ בְּהַסְתָּרָה שֶׁבְּתוֹךְ הַסְתָּרָה, וַאֲפִלּוּ בְּאַלְפֵי אֲלָפִים וְרִבֵּי רְבָבוֹת הַסְתָּרוֹת עַד אֵין קֵץ, גַּם שָׁם אַתָּה נִמְצָא, כִּי לֵית אֲתַר פָּנוּי מִנָּךְ,
Graciously grant me the gifts of knowledge, understanding and wisdom. As a result of learning Your holy Torah, may I gain a good life consisting of length of days and years, wisdom, understanding and the knowledge of holiness. May I know that You exist at every time and place, even in the depths of concealment within concealment. You are hidden within all the concealments of the world. Even in thousands, tens of thousands and infinite layers of concealment, You are there. There is no place empty of You.
וְאַתָּה מְחַיֶּה אֶת כֻּלָּם, וּבִלְעָדֶיךָ אֵין שׁוּם חַיּוּת לְשׁוּם דָּבָר שֶׁבָּעוֹלָם, וַאֲפִלּוּ כָּל הַקְּלִפּוֹת וְכָל הַטֻּמְאוֹת שֶׁבָּעוֹלָם, וְכָל הַסִּטְרִין אַחֲרָנִּין, וְכָל הַהַסְתָּרוֹת שֶׁבָּעוֹלָם הַמַּסְתִּירִים אֱלָהוּתְךָ, כֻּלָּם אֵין לָהֶם חַיּוּת וְכֹחַ כִּי אִם מַה שֶּׁמְקַבְּלִים מִמְּךָ בְּעַצְמְךָ תִּתְבָּרַךְ לָנֶצַח,
You give life to everything. Even all the negative energies, all unclean things, all aspects of evil — all things that conceal You — receive their life force from You alone.
וְאַתָּה מוֹשֵׁל בַּכֹּל וּמַלְכוּתְךָ בַּכֹּל מָשָׁלָה, וּבִלְעָדֶיךָ אֵין כֹּחַ לְשׁוּם הַסְתָּרָה שֶׁבָּעוֹלָם לְהַסְתִּיר וּלְהַעְלִים אוֹתְךָ תִּתְבָּרַךְ.
You are sovereign over everything. Only You make it possible for the concealments in the world which conceal You.
וּתְזַכֵּנִי בְּרַחֲמֶיךָ הָרַבִּים, לָדַעַת כָּל זֹאת בִּידִיעָה שְׁלֵמָה בֶּאֱמֶת וּבֶאֱמוּנָה, עַד שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה עַל־יְדֵי־זֶה לְגַלּוֹת הַהַסְתָּרָה שֶׁבְּתוֹךְ הַסְתָּרָה וּלְהָפְכָהּ לְדַעַת, שֶׁיִּהְיֶה נַעֲשֶׂה מִן כָּל הַהַסְתָּרוֹת, תּוֹרָה הַקְּדוֹשָׁה. וְתִתְגַּלֶּה הַתּוֹרָה הַקְּדוֹשָׁה הַנֶּעֱלֶמֶת שָׁם בְּתוֹךְ תֹּקֶף הַהַסְתָּרָה שֶׁבְּתוֹךְ הַסְתָּרָה.
Teach me to comprehend this with a truly encompassing awareness and faith. Then I will transform that concealment within concealment into knowledge, and all these concealments will be transformed into holy Torah as they are revealed.
וְנִזְכֶּה לְהִתְגַּלּוּת סִתְרֵי תוֹרָה לְהָבִין וּלְהַשִּׂיג רָזִין דְּאוֹרַיְתָא, עַד שֶׁנִּזְכֶּה לִשְׁמֹעַ קוֹל הַכְּרוּז הַגָּדוֹל שֶׁל הַתּוֹרָה הַקְּדוֹשָׁה, אֲשֶׁר הִיא שׁוֹאֶגֶת וְקוֹרֵאת תָּמִיד בְּקוֹל גָּדוֹל וְעָצוּם מְאֹד מְאֹד, בְּרֹאשׁ הוֹמִיּוֹת תִּקְרָא, עַד מָתַי פְּתָיִם תְּאֵהֲבוּ פֶתִי. וּבַעֲוֹנֵינוּ הָרַבִּים אֵין אָנוּ שׁוֹמְעִים קוֹל הַכְּרוּז הַזֶּה.
May I gain a revelation of the secrets of the Torah, so that I will understand them and hear the mighty voice that proclaims the words of the holy Torah. But “at the head of the noisy streets, wisdom calls out: … ‘How long, foolish people, will you love foolishness?’” Due to my many sins, I do not hear that proclamation.
עַל כֵּן רַחֵם עָלֵינוּ לְמַעַן שְׁמֶךָ. וְזַכֵּנוּ לַעֲסֹק בְּהַתּוֹרָה הַקְּדוֹשָׁה בְּפֶה מָלֵא בִּקְדֻשָּׁה גְּדוֹלָה, עַד שֶׁנִּזְכֶּה לִשְׁמֹעַ קוֹל הַכְּרוּז הַגָּדוֹל שֶׁל הַתּוֹרָה הַקְּדוֹשָׁה, קוֹל דִּבְרֵי אֱלֹהִים חַיִּים וּמֶלֶךְ עוֹלָם, קוֹל גָּדוֹל וְלֹא יָסָף,
So for the sake of Your Name, have compassion on me so that I will learn Your holy Torah aloud with great holiness, until I do hear that great proclamation of the holy Torah, the voice of the “Living God and King of the world, the great voice that does not cease.”
וְהַתּוֹרָה בְּעַצְמָהּ תּוֹכִיחָה אוֹתָנוּ בְּתוֹכַחַת מְגֻלָּה מֵאַהֲבָה מְסֻתָּרֶת, כְּמוֹ שֶׁכָּתוּב, פִּיהָ פָּתְחָה בְּחָכְמָה וְתוֹרַת חֶסֶד עַל לְשׁוֹנָהּ, עַד שֶׁנִּזְכֶּה עַל־יְדֵי־זֶה לָשׁוּב אֵלֶיךָ בֶּאֱמֶת חִישׁ קַל מְהֵרָה,
The Torah itself reprimands with a rebuke impelled by a hidden love. As the verse states, “She opens her mouth with wisdom and the Torah of kindness is on her tongue.” And, as a result, may I return to You quickly and easily.
וּתְקָרְבֵנוּ לַעֲבוֹדָתֶךָ וְתַחֲזִירֵנוּ בִּתְשׁוּבָה שְׁלֵמָה לְפָנֶיךָ.
Inspire me to serve You. Bring me back to You in perfect repentance.
וְתַעַזְרֵנוּ וְתוֹשִׁיעֵנוּ וּתְזַכֵּנוּ לְגַלּוֹת וּלְהַעֲלוֹת צֵרוּפֵי אוֹתִיּוֹת הַתּוֹרָה הַקְּדוֹשָׁה מִתּוֹךְ הַהַסְתָּרוֹת, וְלַחֲזֹר וּלְהָפְכָם אֶל הַקְּדֻשָּׁה, וּלְהָשִׁיבָם עַל מְקוֹמָם וּמְכוֹנָם הָרִאשׁוֹן וּלְצָרְפָם בְּצֵרוּפִים דִּקְדֻשָּׁה, עַד שֶׁיִּתְגַּלֶּה עַל יָדָם חִדּוּשֵׁי תוֹרָה אֲמִתִּיִּים נִפְלָאִים וְנוֹרָאִים.
Help me to discover the combinations of the letters of the holy Torah that lie concealed. Help me to raise them up and transform them into holiness. Help me to bring them back to their original place and combine them in a holy manner, and in doing so, reveal true, wondrous and awesome Torah insights.
וּתְגַלֶּה לָנוּ סִתְרֵי אוֹרַיְיתָא, נִפְלָאוֹת וְנִסְתָּרוֹת שֶׁבְּתוֹרָתְךָ הַקְּדוֹשָׁה אֲשֶׁר צָפַנְתָּ וְגָנַזְתָּ לִירֵאֶיךָ. וְנִזְכֶּה לֵידַע וּלְהַבְדִּיל בֵּין אָסוּר וּמֻתָּר, בֵּין הַקֹּדֶשׁ וּבֵין הַחֹל, וּבֵין הַטָּמֵא וּבֵין הַטָּהוֹר, וּבֵין כָּשֵׁר לַפָּסוּל.
Guide me to discover the wondrous and hidden secrets of Your holy Torah, which You have set aside for those Who fear You. Enable me to differentiate between the prohibited and the permissible, the holy and the mundane, the impure and the pure, the kosher and the nonkosher.
וְתַעַזְרֵנוּ לְהַפְרִישׁ עַצְמֵנוּ מִן הָרַע וְהָאָסוּר לְגַמְרֵי, וּלְדַבֵּק עַצְמֵנוּ אֶל הַקְּדֻשָּׁה בֶּאֱמֶת וּבֶאֱמוּנָה שְׁלֵמָה, לָסוּר מֵרָע וְלַעֲשׂוֹת הַטּוֹב בְּעֵינֶיךָ תָמִיד כִּרְצוֹנְךָ הַטּוֹב בֶּאֱמֶת.
Inspire me to divest myself of evil and of those things that are forbidden. Instead, may I cling to holiness, in truth and faith, so that I will turn aside from evil and always do that which is good in Your eyes.
וּתְזַכֵּנוּ לְדַעַת שָׁלֵם דִּקְדֻשָּׁה, עַד שֶׁנִּזְכֶּה לְקַשֵּׁט עַצְמֵנוּ וּלְקַשֵּׁט גַּם אֲחֵרִים בִּתְשׁוּבָה שְׁלֵמָה לְפָנֶיךָ בֶּאֱמֶת, שֶׁנִּזְכֶּה עַל־יְדֵי עִסְקֵנוּ בַּתּוֹרָה הַקְּדוֹשָׁה לְעוֹרֵר גַּם אֲחֵרִים בִּתְשׁוּבָה שְׁלֵמָה אֲפִלּוּ הָרְחוֹקִים מֵאִתָּנוּ מְאֹד. לְהוֹצִיאָם מֵאֲפֵלָה לְאוֹרָה, מֵחֹשֶׁךְ לְאוֹר, מֵחֹל לְקֹדֶשׁ.
Becoming a Holy Leader
Lead me to a perfect awareness of holiness, so that I will adorn myself — and others too — with a truly complete repentance. By learning the holy Torah, I will awaken others to repent — even those people who are very far from me. I will bring them from darkness to light and from the mundane to the holy.
וְתַעַזְרֵנוּ שֶׁנִזְכֶּה לְהַמְשִׁיךְ חַיִּים וַאֲרִיכוּת יָמִים וְשָׁנִים לְתוֹךְ הַמַּלְכוּת שֶׁלָּנוּ שֶׁיֵּשׁ לָנוּ לְכָל אֶחָד וְאֶחָד אֵיזֶה חֵלֶק בִּבְחִינַת מַלְכוּת בְּאִתְגַּלְּיָא וּבְאִתְכַּסְּיָא.
Help me to draw life and length of days and years into the quality of leadership that I possess — both implicit and revealed.
וְלֹא נִשְׁתַּמֵּשׁ עִם הַמַּלְכוּת שֶׁלָּנוּ לְצֹרֶךְ עַצְמֵנוּ כְּלָל, וְלֹא תִהְיֶה הַמַּלְכוּת אֶצְלֵנוּ כְּעֶבֶד, רַק נִזְכֶּה שֶׁתִּהְיֶה הַמַּלְכוּת אֶצְלֵנוּ בֶּן חוֹרִין, וְלֹא נִשְׁתַּמֵּשׁ עִם הַמְּלוּכָה וְהַמֶּמְשָׁלָה שֶׁלָּנוּ שֶׁיֵּשׁ לְכָל אֶחָד וְאֶחָד, כִּי אִם לְשִׁמְךָ וְלַעֲבוֹדָתְךָ לְבַד בֶּאֱמֶת.
May I never use my leadership abilities for any selfish purpose whatsoever. May I never exploit them as if they were my servant, but rather treat them with respect, using my leadership abilities only for the sake of Your Name, only to serve You.
וּתְחָנֵּנוּ מֵאִתְּךָ שֵׂכֶל וָדַעַת דִּקְדֻשָּׁה, שֶׁנִּזְכֶּה לֵידַע אֵיךְ לְהַזְהִיר וּלְהוֹכִיחַ אֶת כָּל הָאֲנָשִׁים שֶׁהֵם תַּחַת מֶמְשַׁלְתֵּנוּ, הֵן בָּנֵינוּ וּבְנוֹתֵינוּ וְאַנְשֵׁי בֵּיתֵינוּ, הֵן אַחֵינוּ וְרֵעֵינוּ וּשְׁאָר אֲנָשִׁים הַסָּרִים לְמִשְׁמַעְתֵּנוּ,
Graciously give me a holy awareness so that I will know how to admonish all those who are under my influence — be they my sons, daughters and other family members, or my friends and others in my circle.
כֻּלָּם נִזְכֶּה לְהוֹכִיחָם וּלְהַזְהִירָם בְּתוֹרַת יְהֹוָה, שֶׁיָּשׁוּבוּ אֶל יְהֹוָה בֶּאֱמֶת וְלֹא יֵלְכוּ אַחֲרֵי שְׁרִירוּת לִבָּם הָרָע, רַק יִסְתַּכְּלוּ עַל עַצְמָם וְיָחוּסוּ עַל נַפְשָׁם לְדַבֵּק עַצְמָם בְּדַרְכֵי תוֹרַת יְהֹוָה תָּמִיד, לָסוּר מֵרַע וְלַעֲשׂוֹת טוֹב, וּלְבִלְתִּי סוּר מִן הַמִּצְוָה יָמִין וּשְׂמֹאל.
May I admonish them and guide them in Your Torah, inspiring them to return to You; not to follow after the stubbornness of their evil hearts, but instead to look at themselves and have pity on their souls, so that they will cling to the ways of Your Torah, turning away from evil and doing good, never swerving from the mitzvot, right or left.
וְתִשְׁמְרֵנוּ וְתַצִּילֵנוּ וְתָגֵן בַּעֲדֵנוּ שֶׁלֹּא יַזִּיק לָנוּ חַס וְשָׁלוֹם, הַמַּלְכוּת וְהַמֶּמְשָׁלָה שֶׁלָּנוּ, רַק נִזְכֶּה לְהַמְשִׁיךְ חַיִּים טוֹבִים וַאֲרֻכִּים לְתוֹךְ הַמַּלְכוּת. וְנִזְכֶּה לְהָשִׁיב וּלְהַחֲזִיר כָּל הַמְּלוּכָה וְהַמֶּמְשָׁלָה לְהַשֵּׁם יִתְבָּרַךְ, לִבְלִי לְהִשְׁתַּמֵּשׁ עִם הַמַּלְכוּת לִצְרָכֵינוּ כְּלָל, כִּי אִם לְשִׁמְךָ לְבַד בֶּאֱמֶת, כְּמוֹ שֶׁכָּתוּב, וְהָיְתָה לַיהֹוָה הַמְּלוּכָה:
Keep me from being damaged, Heaven forbid, by my relationship to my trait of leadership. Rather, help me to draw into my leadership abilities a good and long life. May I bring all my leadership abilities to You without using them for selfish purposes, but solely for Your Name. As the verse states, “Sovereignty belongs to HaShem.”
וּבְכֵן תְּרַחֵם עָלֵינוּ בְּרַחֲמֶיךָ הָרַבִּים וְתַצִּילֵנוּ מִתַּאֲוַת מָמוֹן, וְתַעַזְרֵנוּ לְשַׁבֵּר תַּאֲוַת הַנְּגִידוּת וְהָעֲשִׁירוּת, וְלֹא נַחְמֹד וְלֹא נִתְאַוֶּה כְּלָל לֶאֱסֹף הוֹן בָּעוֹלָם שֶׁאֵינוֹ שֶׁלָּנוּ, רַק נִזְכֶּה שֶׁכָּל תַּאֲוָתֵנוּ וּתְשׁוּקָתֵנוּ וְכוֹסְפֵנוּ וְעִסְקֵנוּ יִהְיֶה רַק בְּהַתּוֹרָה הַקְּדוֹשָׁה, לִקְנוֹת חָכְמָה וְדַעַת שָׁלֵם דִּקְדֻשָּׁה, וּלְהִתְדַּבֵּק בְּמִצְוֹתֶיךָ הַקְּדוֹשִׁים.
Overcoming the Desire for Riches
Compassionate God, rescue me from the lust for money. Help me to break the desire to become a magnate. May I have no ambition whatsoever to accumulate wealth in this world that is not ours. Instead, may all my desires, yearning and activity be directed only in the ways of the holy Torah: to acquire wisdom and a perfect awareness of holiness, and cling to Your holy mitzvot.
וּתְזַכֵּנוּ לְתַקֵּן בְּחַיֵּינוּ כָּל הַפְּגָמִים שֶׁפָּגַמְנוּ לְפָנֶיךָ עַל־יְדֵי תַאֲוַת מָמוֹן, וְנִזְכֶּה לְהוֹצִיא כָּל נִיצוֹצוֹת הַקְּדוֹשִׁים שֶׁבָּלְעָה הַקְּלִפָּה בַּעֲוֹנוֹתֵינוּ הָרַבִּים עַל־יְדֵי תַאֲווֹתֵינוּ הָרָעוֹת, וּבִפְרָט עַל־יְדֵי תַאֲוַת מָמוֹן, וִיקֻיַּם מְהֵרָה מִקְרָא שֶׁכָּתוּב, חַיִל בָּלַע וַיְקִיאֶנּוּ מִבִּטְנוֹ יוֹרִישֶׁנּוּ אֵל:
In this lifetime, may I rectify all the blemishes that I created with my desire for money. May I extract all the sparks of holiness that were swallowed up by negative energies because of my evil desires, particularly my lust for money. May the verse be speedily realized, “Although it has swallowed wealth, it will vomit it up; God will cast it out of its belly.”
לְפּוּרִים וְנִזְכֶּה לְהַכְנִיעַ וּלְשַׁבֵּר וּלְבַטֵּל וְלִמְחוֹת וּלְכַלּוֹת וְלַעֲקֹר קְלִפַּת הָמָן עֲמָלֵק מִן הָעוֹלָם שֶׁהוּא תַאֲוַת מָמוֹן, וּלְהוֹצִיא כָּל חַיּוּת הַקְּדֻשָּׁה מִמֶּנּוּ וּלְהָשִׁיב וּלְהַחֲזִיר כָּל הַנִּיצוֹצוֹת הַקְּדוֹשִׁים וְכָל חַיּוּת הַקְּדֻשָּׁה לְשָׁרְשָׁם הָעֶלְיוֹן שֶׁבִּקְדֻשָּׁה, וְלַחֲזֹר וְלַעֲשׂוֹת מֵהֶם תּוֹרָה הַקְּדוֹשָׁה.
For Purim
God, inspire me to overcome and uproot the energy of Haman and Amalek — which is to say, the lust for money. May I extract all the life force of holiness from that energy, and bring all the sparks of holiness and the life force of holiness back to their supernal root in holiness, and turn them back into holy Torah.
וְנִזְכֶּה לְהַמְשִׁיךְ עָלֵינוּ תָמִיד קְדֻשַּׁת מָרְדְּכַי הַיְּהוּדִי וְאֶסְתֵּר הַמַּלְכָּה, וְתַעַזְרֵנוּ וּתְזַכֵּנוּ לְגַלּוֹת וּלְהָאִיר כָּל הַגַּוְנִין עִלָּאִין שֶׁיֵּשׁ בְּכֶסֶף וְזָהָב וּנְחֹשֶׁת, בִּקְדֻשָּׁה וּבְטָהֳרָה גְּדוֹלָה כִּרְצוֹנְךָ הַטּוֹב.
May I always draw onto myself the holiness of Mordekhai the Jew and Queen Esther. Help me to reveal and illumine all the supernal hues — of silver, gold and copper — in a holy and pure way, in accordance with Your desire.
וְתַחְמֹל עָלֵינוּ בְּרַחֲמֶיךָ הָרַבִּים, וְתַשְׁפִּיעַ עָלֵינוּ מִדַּת הָרַחֲמָנוּת בֶּאֱמֶת, וְנִזְכֶּה לְרַחֵם עַל הַבְּרִיוֹת וּלְהַרְבּוֹת בִּצְדָקָה, וְאַתָּה תְרַחֵם עָלֵינוּ מִן הַשָּׁמַיִם, וְ
Pour onto me the ability to feel compassion and give charity generously.
תַמְשִׁיךְ לָנוּ פַּרְנָסָה וְשֶׁפַע טוֹבָה וּצְדָקָה וּבְרָכָה וְרַחֲמִים וְחַיִּים וְשָׁלוֹם וְדַעַת שָׁלֵם דִּקְדֻשָּׁה וְכָל טוֹב.
Send me a flow of abundance, charity, blessing, compassion, life, peace and complete awareness of holiness and all goodness.
וּתְבַטֵּל הַמַּחֲלֹקֶת מִן הָעוֹלָם, וְתַעֲבִיר כָּל מִינֵי שִׂנְאָה וְקִנְאָה וְקִנְטוּר וּמְרִיבוֹת מִכָּל עַמְּךָ בֵּית יִשְׂרָאֵל לְעוֹלָם, וְתַמְשִׁיךְ רַחֲמָנוּת וְשָׁלוֹם בָּעוֹלָם, שֶׁיִּהְיֶה שָׁלוֹם גָּדוֹל בֶּאֱמֶת בֵּין כָּל עַמְּךָ בֵּית יִשְׂרָאֵל וּבְכָל הָעוֹלָם כֻּלּוֹ, וְכָל בָּאֵי עוֹלָם כֻּלָּם יְרַחֲמוּ זֶה עַל זֶה בְּאַהֲבָה גְּדוֹלָה וּבְרַחֲמִים גְּדוֹלִים בֶּאֱמֶת.
Nullify dispute in the world. Remove greed, jealousy, irritation and argument from Your entire nation, the House of Israel, forever. Instead, draw compassion into the world, so that there will truly be peace among all Jews and among all people, and everyone in the world will have true compassion and love for each other.
וְתִתֶּן לָנוּ פַּרְנָסָה טוֹבָה מִן הַשָּׁמַיִם, וּכְשֵׁם שֶׁכִלְכַּלְתָּ אֶת עַמְּךָ יִשְׂרָאֵל בַּמִּדְבָּר אַרְבָּעִים שָׁנָה, וְנָתַתָּ לָהֶם מָן לֶאֱכֹל וְכָל דָּבָר לֹא חָסְרוּ כִּי הִסְפַּקְתָּ לָהֶם כָּל צָרְכָּם, כֵּן תַּחְמֹל עָלֵינוּ בַּחֲסָדֶיךָ, וְתַשְׁפִּיעַ לָנוּ פַּרְנָסָה טוֹבָה מִן הַשָּׁמַיִם, וְתִתֶּן לָנוּ כָּל מַחְסוֹרֵינוּ בְּלִי שׁוּם יְגִיעָה וְטִרְחָא וְטִרְדָּא כְּלָל, בְּאֹפֶן שֶׁנִּזְכֶּה לַעֲשׂוֹת רְצוֹנֶךָ וְלִשְׁמֹר חֻקֶּיךָ וּמִשְׁפָּטֶיךָ וְלַעֲסֹק בְּתוֹרָתְךָ תָּמִיד יוֹמָם וְלַיְלָה בְּלִי שׁוּם בִּטּוּל כְּלָל. כִּי כָּל יְמֵי חַיֵּינוּ הֶבֶל וְיָמֵינוּ כְּצֵל עוֹבֵר וְאִם לֹא עַכְשָׁיו אֵימָתַי:
Send me a good income from Heaven. Just as You fed Your nation, the Jewish people, in the wilderness for forty years with the manna and supplied them with everything they needed, have pity on me and send me an abundance of income from Heaven. Give me everything that I need without toil, so that I may do Your will, keep Your laws and learn Your Torah day and night — because otherwise, all the days of my life are vanity, passing like a shadow. And “if not now, when?”
לְשָׁבוּעוֹת וְעָזְרֵנוּ וְזַכֵּנוּ וְהוֹשִׁיעֵנוּ שֶׁנִזְכֶּה לְטַהֵר וּלְקַדֵּשׁ עַצְמֵנוּ בְּכָל עֵת עַל־יְדֵי טְבִילַת מִקְוֵה, וְנִזְכֶּה לְהַמְשִׁיךְ עָלֵינוּ טָהֳרָה וּקְדֻשָּׁה גְּדוֹלָה עַל־יְדֵי טְבִילַת הַמִקְוֵה, לְטַהֵר עַצְמֵנוּ מִכָּל הַטֻּמְאוֹת, מִכָּל הַחֲטָאִים וְהָעֲוֹנוֹת וְהַפְּשָׁעִים שֶׁחָטָאנוּ וְשֶׁעָוִינוּ וְשֶׁפָּשַׁעְנוּ לְפָנֶיךָ מִנְּעוּרֵינוּ עַד הַיּוֹם הַזֶּה, וּלְהַמְשִׁיךְ עָלֵינוּ קְדֻשָּׁה גְּדוֹלָה עַל־יְדֵי הַמִקְוֵה הַקְּדוֹשָׁה. וְתַשְׁפִּיעַ עָלֵינוּ עַל־יְדֵי־זֶה דַּעַת גָּדוֹל וְרַחֲמִים רַבִּים.
For Shavuot
Help me to purify and sanctify myself by regularly immersing in a mikvah. May I merit to draw upon myself great purity and holiness through immersion in the mikvah to purify myself from all sins and to cleanse myself of all the sins that I committed from my youth until this day, and thus pour onto myself awareness and compassion.
וְתִתֶּן לָנוּ כֹחַ וְתַעַזְרֵנוּ שֶׁנִזְכֶּה לְהַמְתִּיק עַל־יְדֵי טְבִילַת הַמִקְוֵה, כָּל הַדִּינִים שֶׁבָּעוֹלָם מֵעָלֵינוּ וּמֵעַל זַרְעֵנוּ וּמֵעַל כָּל עַמְּךָ בֵּית יִשְׂרָאֵל, וּלְבַטֵּל כָּל הַצָּרוֹת וְכָל הַגְּזֵרוֹת רָעוֹת עַל־יְדֵי־זֶה,
By immersing in the mikvah, may I sweeten all judgments against me, my offspring, and Your entire nation, the Jewish people, eliminating all sorrows and evil decrees.
וְתוֹשִׁיעַ לָנוּ תָמִיד עַל־יְדֵי טְבִילַת הַמִקְוֵה הַקְּדוֹשָׁה וְהַנּוֹרָאָה מְאֹד, וִיקֻיַּם מִקְרָא שֶׁכָּתוּב, מִקְוֵה יִשְׂרָאֵל יְהֹוָה מוֹשִׁיעוֹ בְּעֵת צָרָה.
As a result of immersing in the holy and awesome mikvah, may the verse be realized, “HaShem is the Mikvah of Israel, saving them in a time of trouble.”
וּתְזַכֵּנוּ לְהַמְשִׁיךְ עָלֵינוּ קְדֻשַּׁת הַמִקְוֵה שֶׁל חַג הַשָּׁבוּעוֹת הַקָּדוֹשׁ שֶׁהוּא זְמַן מַתַּן תּוֹרָתֵנוּ שֶׁאָז נִתְקָרְבוּ יִשְׂרָאֵל אֵלֶיךָ וְזָכוּ לְקַבֵּל אֶת הַתּוֹרָה הַקְּדוֹשָׁה עַל־יְדֵי טְבִילַת הַמִקְוֵה.
In particular, may I draw onto myself the holiness of the mikvah on the holy festival of Shavuot, when the Jewish people came close to You and received the holy Torah.
וְנִזְכֶּה כֻלָּנוּ בְּחַג הַשָּׁבוּעוֹת לִטְבֹּל עַצְמֵנוּ בַּמִקְוֵה הָעֶלְיוֹנָה, בַּמִקְוֵה שֶׁל שַׁעַר הַחֲמִשִּׁים שֶׁל הַקְּדֻשָּׁה, שֶׁהוּא רַחֲמִים גְּדוֹלִים וְרַבִּים, וְחֶסֶד עֶלְיוֹן, וְדַעַת גָּדוֹל מְאֹד.
On Shavuot, may we all immerse in the supernal mikvah, the mikvah of the fiftieth gate of holiness, which consists of compassion, kindness and a high state of awareness.
וְתַעַזְרֵנוּ שֶׁנִּזְכֶּה לְהַמְשִׁיךְ עָלֵינוּ קְדֻשַּׁת הַמִּקְוֵה הַזֹּאת בְּכָל הַשָּׁנָה כֻּלָּהּ, וְנִזְכֶּה לְטַהֵר וּלְקַדֵּשׁ עַצְמֵנוּ תָמִיד, וְלָצֵאת מְהֵרָה מֵחֲמִשִּׁים שַׁעֲרֵי טֻמְאָה וְלִכְנֹס בְּתוֹךְ הַחֲמִשִּׁים שַׁעֲרֵי קְדֻשָּׁה. וִיקֻיַּם בָּנוּ מְהֵרָה מִקְרָא שֶׁכָּתוּב, וְזָרַקְתִּי עֲלֵיכֶם מַיִם טְהוֹרִים וּטְהַרְתֶּם מִכֹּל טֻמְאוֹתֵיכֶם וּמִכָּל גִּלּוּלֵיכֶם אֲטַהֵר אֶתְכֶם:
May we draw down onto ourselves the holiness of that mikvah every year so as to purify and sanctify ourselves always, and quickly emerge from the fifty gates of impurity and enter the fifty gates of holiness. May the verse soon be realized in us, “I will sprinkle pure waters upon you and purify You; of all Your contaminations and all your idols, I will purify you.”
וְזַכֵּנִי לֶאֱמוּנַת חֲכָמִים בֶּאֱמֶת, וְתַשְׁפִּיעַ עָלַי דַּעַת שָׁלֵם שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה לֵידַע וּלְהַאֲמִין בֶּאֱמֶת בְּכָל הַצַּדִּיקִים וְהַחֲכָמִים אֲמִתִּיִּים. וְלֹא יְבַלְבֵּל אוֹתִי כְּלָל הַמַּחֲלֹקֶת הַגָּדוֹל שֶׁבֵּינֵיהֶם. וְאֶזְכֶּה לֵידַע וּלְהַאֲמִין כִּי בֶּאֱמֶת אֵלּוּ וְאֵלּוּ דִבְרֵי אֱלֹהִים חַיִּים, וְכָל דִּבְרֵיהֶם אֱמֶת וָצֶדֶק. וְלֹא אֲבַזֶּה חַס וְשָׁלוֹם שׁוּם אֶחָד מֵהֶם, אֲפִלּוּ הַחֲכָמִים אֲמִתִּיִּים שֶׁאֵין הֲלָכָה כְּמוֹתָם, כִּי הֵם דַּרְכֵי יְהֹוָה נִפְלְאוֹת תְּמִים דֵּעִים, וְאִי אֶפְשָׁר לָנוּ לְהַשִּׂיג זֹאת,
Dispute Among the Sages
Inspire me to attain true faith in the sages. Imbue me with a complete awareness that will lead me to truly know and believe in all the Tzaddikim and true sages, so that no dispute among them will ever upset me. Rather, I will know and believe that each one is expressing the words of the Living God, all of which are true and just. Then I will not disparage any of the sages, even those with whom the halakhah does not accord; for their words are the way of HaShem, although that is something wondrous that we cannot understand.
וְלֹא אֶחְקֹר בָּזֶה כְּלָל, רַק לְהַאֲמִין כִּי אֵלּוּ וְאֵלּוּ דִבְרֵי אֱלֹהִים חַיִּים.
May I not spend time puzzling over this, but believe only that all the words of the Tzaddikim — even those that contradict each other — are Your words, my Living God.
וְתַחְמֹל עָלַי וְתַצִּילֵנִי מֵעִצְּבוֹן יָדַיִם, וּתְבַטֵּל מִמֶּנִּי כָּל מִינֵי עַצְבוּת וּדְאָגוֹת וּמָרָה שְׁחוֹרָה, וּבִפְרָט עַצְבוּת וּדְאָגוֹת מִטִּרְדַּת הַפַּרְנָסָה תָּסִיר וּתְבַטֵּל מִמֶּנִּי בְּרַחֲמֶיךָ הָרַבִּים. כִּי בַּעֲוֹנוֹתַי הָרַבִּים, מֵעֹצֶם הַכְּבֵדוּת וְהָעַצְבוּת וְהַמָּרָה שְׁחוֹרָה אֲשֶׁר הִתְגַּבְּרָה עַל לִבִּי עַל־יְדֵי תַאֲווֹתַי הָרָעוֹת, וְנוֹסַף לָזֶה עֹל וְטִרְדַּת הַפַּרְנָסָה, עַל־יְדֵי כָּל זֶה נִטַּמְטֵם רוּחַ לְבָבִי, עַד אֲשֶׁר רוּחַ הַדֹּפֶק שֶׁבִּלְבָבִי אֵינוֹ יָכוֹל לֵילֵךְ תְּנוּעָה מְסֻדֶּרֶת בְּכָל הָאֵבָרִים כָּרָאוּי.
Overcoming Anxiety
Dear God, rescue me from the toil of my hands. Nullify all my depression, worries and anxiety, particularly my worries concerning earning a living. Because of my many sins and evil desires, my heart is overcome with heaviness, depression and anxiety, and earning a living has become a difficult burden. As a result, the spirit of my heart has closed down so that its pulse cannot radiate properly through my limbs.
וּמֵחֲמַת זֶה יָדַי וְאֵבָרַי כְּבֵדִים מְאֹד, וּמֵעֹצֶם הַכְּבֵדוּת נֶחְלַשׁ רוּחַ הַדֹּפֶק יוֹתֵר, וְכֵן חוֹזֶרֶת חָלִילָה. עַד אֲשֶׁר מֵעֹצֶם הַכְּבֵדוּת וְהַחֲלִישׁוּת וְאֹטֶם הַלֵּב מִגֹּדֶל הָעַצְבוּת, כִּמְעַט שֶׁתֵּצֵא נַפְשִׁי חַס וְשָׁלוֹם, כִּי כְפֶשַׂע בֵּינִי וּבֵין הַמָּוֶת.
As a result, my hands and limbs have grown heavy. And because of that heaviness, the spirit of my heart grows ever weaker, until my depression leads to so much heaviness, weakness and a sealed heart that I am close to death, Heaven forbid; “there is but a step between me and death.”
רִבּוֹנוֹ שֶׁל עוֹלָם, אַתָּה יָדַעְתָּ אֶת כָּל זֶה, אַתָּה יָדַעְתָּ אֶת לְבָבִי הַמַּר וְהַנִּמְהָר, מְרִירוּת לְבָבִי עַד גָּבְהֵי שָׁמַיִם יַגִּיעַ, עַד אֲשֶׁר כָּשַׁל כֹּחַ הַסַּבָּל, אוֹי לִי אִמִּי כִּי יְלִדְתִּנִי, אוֹי לִי עַל נַפְשִׁי, אוֹי וּמַר לִי מְאֹד. אוֹי וַאֲבוֹי אוֹי וַאֲבוֹי, אֲהָהּ יְהֹוָה, אִי שָׁמַיִם הַפְגִּינוּ בַּעֲדִי, מָלֵא רַחֲמִים חֲמֹל עָלַי, כִּי אֵינִי יוֹדֵעַ כְּלָל אֵיךְ לְהַתְחִיל וּלְדַבֵּר, כִּי אֵיכָכָה אֶפְצֶה פֶּה וְאֵיךְ אֶשָּׂא עַיִן, וְאֵיךְ יוּכַל עֶבֶד אֲדוֹנִי זֶה לְדַבֵּר עִם אֲדוֹנִי זֶה, כִּי אָמְנָה, חָטָאתִי לַיהֹוָה אֱלֹהֵי יִשְׂרָאֵל, חָטָאתִי עָוִיתִי פָּשַׁעְתִּי וְהָרַע בְּעֵינֶיךָ עָשִׂיתִי. כַּחֹמֶץ לַשִּׁנַּיִם וְכֶעָשָׁן לָעֵינָיִם, כֵּן עָשִׂיתִי לִי. כְּרוֹצֵחַ נְפָשׁוֹת כֵּן הָיִיתִי עַל נַפְשִׁי, וְלֹא חַסְתִּי עָלַי כְּלָל, אוֹי עַל הַיָּמִים אֲשֶׁר עָבְרוּ עָלַי.
The Strength to Bear the Load
Master of the Universe, You know all this. You know my bitter and unsettled heart. The agony of my heart reaches to the heights of Heaven. “The strength to bear the load has collapsed.” “Woe is me, my mother, that you gave birth to me!” Woe to my spirit, woe and bitterness. HaShem, have mercy on me. I have no idea how to begin to speak to You. How can I open my mouth? How can I lift up my eyes? How can a servant speak to his Master? “Indeed, I sinned against HaShem, God of Israel.” I did that which is evil in Your eyes. “Like vinegar upon the teeth and like smoke in the eyes,” so did I act. I was like a murderer of my own spirit, with no pity on myself or on my passing days.
אָבִי אָב הָרַחֲמָן, אָבִי אַב הַחֶסֶד, אָבִי צוּרִי פּוֹדִי וְגוֹאֲלִי, יוֹצְרִי וְעוֹשִׂי וּבוֹרְאִי, אֱלֹהַי מַלְכִּי וּקְדוֹשִׁי, אֲשֶׁר אַתָּה חוֹשֵׁב לְהֵיטִיב אַחֲרִיתִי, לַמְּדֵנִי וְהוֹרֵנִי עֵצָה וְתַחְבּוּלָה שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה לְקַיְּמָהּ, בְּאֹפֶן שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה לִתְשׁוּבָה שְׁלֵמָה לְפָנֶיךָ בֶּאֱמֶת, וְלֹא אָשׁוּב עוֹד לְכִסְלָה לְעוֹלָם, כִּי אֵינִי יוֹדֵעַ שׁוּם תַּחְבּוּלָה כִּי אִם לְבַקֵּשׁ אוֹתְךָ שֶׁתְּרַחֵם עָלַי וְתַעֲזֹר לִי וְתַכֹף אֶת יִצְרִי לְהִשְׁתַּעְבֶּד לָךְ בֶּאֱמֶת:
Father of compassion, my Rock, Redeemer, Maker and Creator, my King and Holy One, You Who contrive how to bring me to a good end — give me ideas that will help me to return to You and never to go back to my foolish ways. All I know is to entreat You to have compassion on me and help me to crush my desires, so that they will be truly subjugated to You.
זַכֵּנִי בְּרַחֲמֶיךָ הָרַבִּים לַאֲנָחָה אֲמִתִּית מֵעֹמֶק לְבָבִי בֶּאֱמֶת, בְּאֹפֶן שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה עַל־יְדֵי אַנְחָתִי לָשׁוּב לְהַחֲיוֹת וּלְהַבְרוֹת אֶת הָרוּחַ הַדֹּפֶק דִּקְדֻשָּׁה שֶׁבִּלְבָבִי. וְיָשׁוּב הָרוּחַ הַדֹּפֶק וְיֵלֵךְ וִינַשֵּׁב בְּכָל הָאֵבָרִים כְּסֵדֶר, וּבִפְרָט בְּהַיָּדַיִם, עַד אֲשֶׁר יִתְתַּקְּנוּ וְיִטָּהֲרוּ יָדַי עַל־יְדֵי־זֶה. וְאֶזְכֶּה מְהֵרָה לְתַקֵּן פְּגָם הַיָּדַיִם, אֵת כָּל מַה שֶּׁפָּגַמְתִּי בְּיָדַי מִנְּעוּרַי עַד הַיּוֹם הַזֶּה, עַד אֲשֶׁר אֶזְכֶּה לְהָרִים וְלִשָּׂא יָדַי לַיהֹוָה אֵל עֶלְיוֹן קֹנֵה שָׁמַיִם וָאָרֶץ. וְאֶזְכֶּה לְקַיֵּם מִקְרָא שֶׁכָּתוּב, נִשָּׂא לְבָבֵנוּ אֶל כַּפָּיִם אֶל אֵל בַּשָּׁמָיִם.
A Healing Sigh
Dear God, purify me so that I will be able to sigh from the depths of my heart. And with this sigh, revive the spirit of the pulse of holiness in my heart, so that this spirit will again spread and breathe properly through my limbs, particularly my hands. May I quickly rectify the blemishes in my hands, which I have caused from my youth until this day, so that I will at last lift my hands to You, “Supernal God, Creator of heaven and earth,” and realize the verse, “Let us lift up our hearts with our hands to God in Heaven.”
וּתְזַכֵּנִי לִהְיוֹת בְּשִׂמְחָה תָמִיד, וְלֹא יָבוֹא עָלַי שׁוּם עַצְבוּת וּמָרָה שְׁחוֹרָה כְּלָל, וְאֶזְכֶּה לִקְדֻשָּׁה וְטָהֳרָה בֶּאֱמֶת, וְלַעֲלוֹת בְּכָל פַּעַם מִדַּרְגָּא לְדַרְגָּא בִּקְדֻשָּׁה גְּדוֹלָה, עַד אֲשֶׁר אֶזְכֶּה בְּכֹחַ הַצַּדִּיקֵי אֱמֶת לְקַבֵּל דִּבּוּרִים מִן הַשָּׁמַיִם. וְאֶזְכֶּה לֵידַע וּלְהָבִין וּלְהַשִּׂיג אֶת הַמַּחֲלֹקֶת דִּקְדֻשָּׁה, לָדַעַת אֲשֶׁר בֶּאֱמֶת אֵין זֶה מַחֲלֹקֶת כְּלָל, רַק אַהֲבָה וְאַחְוָה וְרֵעוּת וְשָׁלוֹם גָּדוֹל וְעָצוּם מְאֹד, כִּי אֵלּוּ וְאֵלּוּ דִבְרֵי אֱלֹהִים חַיִּים.
Inspire me to be joyful always and never to experience depression or bitterness. Bring me to true holiness and purity. Guide me to rise level by level in great holiness until, aided by the strength of the true Tzaddikim, I receive words from Heaven and realize that a dispute in matters of holiness is not dispute at all, but only love, camaraderie, friendship and peace — because “each side is expressing the words of the Living God.”
וְתוֹדִיעֵנִי אֶת דְּרָכֶיךָ, וּתְזַכֵּנִי לְהִתְקָרֵב וּלְהִתְדַּבֵּק בְּיוֹתֵר לְהַצַּדִּיקִים אֲמִתִּיִּים שֶׁהֲלָכָה כְּמוֹתָם בְּכָל מָקוֹם:
Teach me know to Your ways and lead me to cling to the true Tzaddikim with whom the halakhah is in accord.
אָבִינוּ מַלְכֵּנוּ, אַתָּה יוֹדֵעַ שֶׁאִי אֶפְשָׁר לִי לְפָרֵשׁ שִׂיחָתִי לְפָנֶיךָ בִּשְׁלֵמוּת בְּשׁוּם אֹפֶן, אַתָּה יוֹדֵעַ אֵת כָּל אֲשֶׁר אִבַּדְתִּי עַד הֵנָּה בַּעֲוֹנוֹתַי הָרַבִּים. מָלֵא רַחֲמִים אֱמֹר לְצָרוֹתַי דַּי, חֲמֹל עָלַי בְּחֶמְלָתְךָ הַגְּדוֹלָה, זַכֵּנִי נָא לִתְשׁוּבָה שְׁלֵמָה לְפָנֶיךָ מְהֵרָה, וְתֵן לִי פַּרְנָסָתִי מֵאִתְּךָ קֹדֶם שֶׁאֶצְטָרֵךְ, וְהַצִּילֵנִי מֵחוֹבוֹת וְהַלְוָאוֹת:
My Father, my King, You know that I cannot speak to You truly and fully. You know how much my sins have caused me to lose. And so, HaShem, You Who are filled with compassion, proclaim, “Enough!” to my difficulties. Have pity on me. Lead me to quickly return to You. Provide me with my sustenance before I am in need, and may I never take loans and go into debt.
רִבּוֹנוֹ שֶׁל עוֹלָם, הַצִּילֵנִי מֵעִצְּבוֹן יָדַיִם, הַצִּילֵנִי נָא מִטִּרְדַּת הַפַּרְנָסָה, נַחֲמֵנוּ נָא בִּזְכוּת הַצַּדִּיקִים אֲמִתִּיִּים, וְתָבִיא לָנוּ אֶת מְשִׁיחַ צִדְקֵנוּ, וִיקֻיַּם מִקְרָא שֶׁכָּתוּב, זֶה יְנַחֲמֵנוּ מִמַּעֲשֵׂנוּ וּמֵעִצְּבוֹן יָדֵינוּ. עָזְרֵנוּ עָזְרֵנוּ חָנֵּנוּ חָנֵּנוּ, פְּנֵה אֵלֵינוּ וְהוֹשִׁיעֵנוּ וְאַל תַּסְתֵּר פָּנֶיךָ מִמֶּנּוּ,
Master of the Universe, save me from the “toil of the hands.” Rescue me from the difficulties involved in earning a living. In the merit of the true Tzaddikim, bring me consolation. And bring the righteous Mashiach, so that the verse will be realized, “This one will console us for our deeds and for the toil of our hands.”
פְּנֵה אֵלַי וְחָנֵּנִי תְּנָה עֻזְּךָ לְעַבְדֶּךָ וְהוֹשִׁיעָה לְבֶן אֲמָתֶךָ. עֲשֵׂה עִמִּי אוֹת לְטוֹבָה וְיִרְאוּ שׂוֹנְאַי וְיֵבוֹשׁוּ כִּי אַתָּה יְהֹוָה עֲזַרְתַּנִי וְנִחַמְתָּנִי, אָמֵן וְאָמֵן:
“Turn to me and be gracious to me. Give Your might to Your servant and save the son of Your maidservant. Perform for me a sign for good. Then my enemies will see and grow ashamed, because You, HaShem, are my help and my consolation.” Amen, amen.