The commandment of the matter of the impurity of the priests for their relatives, and included in it is that each one in Israel should mourn for their six relatives [the identity of which is] well-known: That the priests should become impure for the dead bodies (the relatives) that are mentioned in the Torah, as it is stated (Leviticus 21:3), “for her, he shall become impure.” And this is a positive commandment, as so did the explanation come. And so is it explained in Sifra, Emor, Section 1:12, “‘For her, he shall become impure’ — is a commandment. If he does not want to become impure, we make him impure by force.” And were it not that we received this explanation from our Sages, I would have reasoned to say that it be optional — if he wants, he becomes impure; if he does not want, he does not become impure — since Scripture prevented him from becoming impure for the rest of his relatives. And I would have said that regarding these mentioned in the section of the Torah, they were permitted to become impure if they wanted. Hence the explanation about it came to us — that it is not optional, but rather a commandment. And the Sages, may their memory be blessed, mentioned a story that Yosef the priest came when his wife died on the eve of Pesach and he did not want to become impure, and the Sages pushed him and made him impure by force. And Rambam, may his memory be blessed, wrote (Sefer HaMitzvot, Positive Commandments 37), “And this itself is the commandment of mourning — meaning to say that each person in Israel is obligated to mourn for his relatives, meaning the six relatives mentioned in Scripture.” And the verse that the Rabbi brought [as a source] (Mishneh Torah, Laws of Mourning 1:1) for the commandment of mourning is that which is stated by Aharon, “if I had eaten the sin-offering today, would it have been good in the eyes of the Lord?” (Leviticus 10:19). And he said, “And for the strengthening of this commandment did they elucidate about the priest that he is warned about impurity, that he should become impure regardless like other Israelites, in order that the laws of mourning not become weakened. And it was already elucidated that mourning of the first day is by Torah writ — and that is the day of death and burial. And they said in the elucidation in Moed Katan 14b [that] it is not practiced on the holiday — the positive commandment of the many comes and pushes off the positive commandment of the individual. And behold, it is elucidated [from this] that the obligation of mourning is from Torah writ and that it is a positive commandment — but only on the first day. And the remaining six [days] are rabbinic. And even a priest observes mourning on the first day, as he becomes impure for his relatives. And understand this.” To here [are his words].
What I have written many times about previous commandments is from the roots of this commandment — that man is acted upon according to his actions that he does. As since he is a physical being, he is not impacted by something in potential, until he takes matters from the potential to the actual. Hence when a punishment of an incident of death of one of his relatives — about which it is natural for him to love them — comes to him, the Torah obligates him to do acts with himself that arouse him to focus his thoughts on the anguish that has come to him. And then he will know and contemplate to himself that his iniquities caused it to him, that this anguish came upon him. As God, may He be blessed, “does not afflict man from His heart, nor cause woe to the sons of man,” except from the angle of sins. And this is our — we, the practitioners of the precious Jewish faith — perfect belief. And when a man puts this matter into his heart with the act of mourning, he will move his mind to repent and improve his deeds, according to his ability. And behold, we have found with this a great benefit for people in the commandment of mourning. But the heretics that want to be wise that make empty the matters of the world and the acts of God, may He be blessed, place perversity and evil on their hearts: They make the death of the sons of man dependent on the happenstance of time, and think — in their evil thoughts — that “the incident of man and beast, it is the same incident for them; and like the death of one is the death of the other.” And hence they wrote in their books — they should only be burnt — “Unfortunate is the one who worries [about this] at all.” And in order to uproot and to pull out this evil belief of theirs from our hearts, the Torah obligated us in this commandment. [This is] besides the benefit that we mentioned.
From the laws of the commandment is that which they, may their memory be blessed, said (Rif, Ramban and Rashba on Moed Katan 14b) that the first day is by Torah writ and the [next] six are rabbinic. And even though it is stated (Genesis 50:10), “and he made a mourning for his father seven days,” [when] the Torah was given, the law was recreated (a new law came into being). And nonetheless they, may their memory be blessed, said (Mishneh Torah, Laws of Mourning 1:1) that Moshe, our teacher, ordained seven days of mourning and seven days of festivity. And they, may their memory be blessed, said (Moed Katan 27a) that the obligation of mourning does not begin until the coffin cover is closed — meaning to say that the whole time that he is not buried, the mourner is not forbidden in anything from all of the things of mourning. And because of this reason, King David bathed and anointed [himself] when [his] child died, before [the child] was buried. And that which they said (Shabbat 136a) that we do not mourn for any [infant] that has not [been alive] for thirty days, is because of a doubt. But they, may their memory be blessed, said in the Gemara that if we clearly know that he has finished his months [of gestation], his law is like the law of other dead people regarding mourning; and likewise for all the other things is his law like a complete person.
And so [too,] did they, may their memory be blessed, say (Mishneh Torah, Laws of Mourning 1:10) [regarding] those that separate themselves from all the ways of the community, and likewise heretics, apostates and informants — that we do not mourn at all for all of them, since their death is gladness for the world. And this is not a punishment for their relatives, but rather a merit for them. And this is all from the root that I wrote. And about them is stated (Psalms 139:21), “Do I not hate those You hate?” And likewise, we do not mourn for one who kills himself on purpose. And in its place, it is clarified how we know that he struck himself on purpose. And also from the laws of the commandment are the things that they, may their memory be blessed, said (Moed Katan 21a) that the mourner is forbidden with on the first day from Torah writ and the rest of the days rabbinically; the law of seven and thirty [days]; the law of twelve months of mourning for father and mother; the law of tearing — who are the relatives who tear and what is the time [for it], how is it for [other] relatives and how is it for father and mother, for which of his relatives, and his teacher and his greats, for which places in the Land of Israel in their destruction; the law of the tear that we darn immediately or after a time and the law that a woman darns immediately so as not to be disgraced; the law of the holidays that interrupt [the count] and do not count [in the tally], and that which they said (Moed Katan 19a) that the decree of seven is negated for anyone who buries his dead even an hour before the holiday, and the decree of thirty is negated if seven days passed before the holiday and he began even one hour of the thirty [days], and that the status of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur is the same as the holidays of Pesach, Shavuot and Sukkot; that which they said (Moed Katan 24b) that even though there is no mourning on the intermediate days of the festival, a man tears for a dead [relative] for which he is obligated to mourn; the law that we only observe one day and do not tear for a distant report [of death] after thirty days — since the law is like Rabbi Mani, who said like this in the Gemara [Moed Katan 21b] — but he tears even for a distant report for his father and for his mother according to the opinion of Ramban, may this memory be blessed, (Torat HaAdam 61b), but not according to the opinion of the rabbi, Rabbi Avraham beRebbi David (Ravad), may his memory be blessed.
And regarding the eulogy, for whom do we eulogize and how, and what is [the relation] of Shabbat, holidays, intermediate festival days, Channukah and Purim to it; for the death of whom do we cancel Torah study; the matter of justification of the decree, the blessings and consolations that are made in the house of the mourner; the matter of gathering the bones of relatives and likewise the gathering of the bones of his father and his mother; that which they said (Moed Katan 20b) that we mourn with mourners, who are relatives for which we would mourn in front of them [for their honor] from the words of the [Rabbis]; that which they said that a man mourns for his wife — and she for her husband — and for brothers from the mother from the words of the [Rabbis]; that he does not mourn for his son or his brother from a maidservant or an idolatress (gentile) — even if they convert — not from Torah writ and not from the words of the [Rabbis]; that a priest becomes impure for his wife — even though the mourning of a man for his wife is only from the words of the [Rabbis], they made her like a dead body that one is commanded to be involved with (met mitzvah), but once the coffin cover is closed, he may no longer become impure; that which they said that the obligation of mourning is rabbinic for three relatives and these are them — a brother or sister from the mother, a married or betrothed sister from either the father or the mother and [even if the mother] was raped or seduced — and therefore a priest does not become impure for these relatives. And these matters with the rest of its details are elucidated in Tractate [Moed Katan] and in other places in Berakhot, Ketuvot and Yevamot and in Sifra, Parashat Emor el HaKohanim. (See Tur, Yoreh Deah 372-374.)
And this commandment of the obligations of impurity for the dead body of a relative is practiced by a priest in every place and at all times. And so is it with males of the priesthood, but the women are not [commanded] in this obligation. As so did the explanation come — that the one who is prevented from becoming impure for any others aside from the relatives, he is the one who is commanded to become impure for the relatives. But since women priests were not prevented from becoming impure for a dead body — as is explained in its place (Sefer HaChinukh 263) — so too, were they not commanded to become impure to the relatives regardless; but they must nonetheless mourn. And they have a choice whether to become impure if they want. And know this and remember it. And the commandment of the obligation of mourning — that is dragged along with this commandment, as we said — is practiced in every place and at all times by every person, whether priest, Israelite, male or female. And a priest who transgresses this and does not want to become impure for the six relatives mentioned in Scripture — and likewise, a priest or an Israelite who did not want to mourn for his relatives with the things that the Sages enumerated in the obligation of the main mourning of the first day — has violated this positive commandment. And I have already written above (Sefer HaChinukh 6) that the court coerces [one who refrains from] a positive commandment. And there are some of the commentators that wrote that the commandment of mourning is not considered a commandment from the Torah. Maybe their opinion is to say that even though one bereaved (onen) is forbidden in consecrated foods from Torah writ, the whole matter of mourning is nonetheless rabbinic.
מִצְוַת עִנְיַן טֻמְאַת הַכֹּהֲנִים לִקְרוֹבֵיהֶם, וּבִכְלָלָהּ שֶׁיִּתְאַבְּלוּ כָּל אֶחָד מִיִּשְׂרָאֵל עַל שִׁשָּׁה מִקְּרוֹבֵיהֶם הַיְּדוּעִים – שֶׁיִּטַּמְּאוּ הַכֹּהֲנִים לַמֵּתִים (הַקְּרוֹבִים) הַנִּזְכָּרִים בַּתּוֹרָה, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (ויקרא כא ג) לָהּ יִטַּמָּא, וְזֶה מִצְוַת עֲשֵׂה, שֶׁכֵּן בָּא הַפֵּרוּשׁ עָלָיו, וְכֵן הוּא מְפֹרָשׁ בַּסִּפְרָא (אמר א יב) לָהּ יִטַּמָּא מִצְוָה, לֹא רָצָה לִטַּמֵּא מְטַמְּאִין אוֹתוֹ בְּעַל כָּרְחוֹ. וְלוּלֵי שֶׁקִּבַּלְנוּ מֵחֲכָמֵינוּ הַפֵּרוּשׁ כֵּן, הָיִיתִי סָבוּר לוֹמַר שֶׁיִּהְיֶה רְשׁוּת אִם רָצָה מִטַּמֵּא, וְאִם לֹא רָצָה אֵינוֹ מִטַּמֵּא, לְפִי שֶׁהַכָּתוּב מְנָעוֹ מִלִּטַּמֵּא לִשְׁאָר הַקְּרוֹבִים, וְהָיִיתִי אוֹמֵר, שֶׁבְּאֵלּוּ הַנִּזְכָּרִים בַּפָּרָשָׁה, הִרְשָׁהוּ לְהִטַּמֵּא אִם יִרְצֶה, עַל כֵּן בָּא לָנוּ הַפֵּרוּשׁ עָלָיו, שֶׁאֵין זֶה רְשׁוּת אֶלָּא מִצְוָה. וְהִזְכִּירוּ חֲכָמִים זִכְרוֹנָם לִבְרָכָה (זבחים ק, א), מַעֲשֶׂה שֶׁבָּא בְּיוֹסֵף הַכֹּהֵן שֶׁמֵּתָה אִשְׁתּוֹ בְּעֶרֶב הַפֶּסַח וְלֹא רָצָה לִטַּמֵּא, וּדְחָפוּהוּ חֲכָמִים וְטִמְּאוּהוּ עַל כָּרְחוֹ. וְכָתַב הָרַמְבַּ"ם זִכְרוֹנוֹ לִבְרָכָה (בסהמ"צ עשה לז) וְזֹאת בְּעַצְמָהּ הִיא מִצְוַת אִבּוּל. כְּלוֹמַר, שֶׁכָּל אִישׁ מִיִּשְׂרָאֵל חַיָּב לְהִתְאַבֵּל עַל קְרוֹבוֹ, כְּלוֹמַר שִׁשָּׁה מֵתֵי מִצְוָה הַנִּזְכָּרִים בַּכָּתוּב. וְהַמִּקְרָא שֶׁהֵבִיא הָרַב (אבל א א) עַל מִצְוַת אִבּוּל, הוּא מָה שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר בְּאַהֲרֹן (שם י יט), וְאָכַלְתִּי חַטָּאת הַיּוֹם הַיִּיטַב בְּעֵינֵי יְיָ, וְאָמְרוּ וּמֵחֹזֶק הַחוֹבָה הַזֹּאת, בֵּאֲרוּ בַּכֹּהֵן שֶׁהוּא מֻזְהָר עַל הַטֻּמְאָה שֶׁיִּטַּמֵּא עַל כָּל פָּנִים כִּשְׁאָר יִשְׂרָאֵל, בִּשְׁבִיל שֶׁלֹּא יֵחָלְשׁוּ מִשְׁפְּטֵי הָאֲבֵלוּת. וּכְבָר נִתְבָּאֵר, שֶׁאֲבֵלוּת יוֹם רִאשׁוֹן מִדְּאוֹרַיְתָא, וְהוּא יוֹם מִיתָה וּקְבוּרָה. וּבְבֵאוּר אָמְרוּ בְּמוֹעֵד קָטָן (יד, ב) אָבֵל אֵינוֹ נוֹהֵג אֲבֵלוּתוֹ בָּרֶגֶל אָתֵי עֲשֵׂה דְּרַבִּים, וְדָחֵי עֲשֵׂה דְּיָחִיד. הִנֵּה נִתְבָּאֵר שֶׁחִיּוּב הָאֲבֵלוּת דְּאוֹרַיְתָא וְשֶׁהוּא מִצְוַת עֲשֵׂה, אֲבָל בְּיוֹם רִאשׁוֹן בִּלְבַד, וְנִשְׁאֲרוּ הַשִּׁשָּׁה דְּרַבָּנָן, וַאֲפִלּוּ הַכֹּהֵן יִנְהַג אֲבֵלוּתוֹ בְּיוֹם רִאשׁוֹן שֶׁמִּטַּמֵּא לִקְרוֹבָיו, וְהָבֵן זֶה, עַד כָּאן.
The commandment of the matter of the impurity of the priests for their relatives, and included in it is that each one in Israel should mourn for their six relatives [the identity of which is] well-known: That the priests should become impure for the dead bodies (the relatives) that are mentioned in the Torah, as it is stated (Leviticus 21:3), “for her, he shall become impure.” And this is a positive commandment, as so did the explanation come. And so is it explained in Sifra, Emor, Section 1:12, “‘For her, he shall become impure’ — is a commandment. If he does not want to become impure, we make him impure by force.” And were it not that we received this explanation from our Sages, I would have reasoned to say that it be optional — if he wants, he becomes impure; if he does not want, he does not become impure — since Scripture prevented him from becoming impure for the rest of his relatives. And I would have said that regarding these mentioned in the section of the Torah, they were permitted to become impure if they wanted. Hence the explanation about it came to us — that it is not optional, but rather a commandment. And the Sages, may their memory be blessed, mentioned a story that Yosef the priest came when his wife died on the eve of Pesach and he did not want to become impure, and the Sages pushed him and made him impure by force. And Rambam, may his memory be blessed, wrote (Sefer HaMitzvot, Positive Commandments 37), “And this itself is the commandment of mourning — meaning to say that each person in Israel is obligated to mourn for his relatives, meaning the six relatives mentioned in Scripture.” And the verse that the Rabbi brought [as a source] (Mishneh Torah, Laws of Mourning 1:1) for the commandment of mourning is that which is stated by Aharon, “if I had eaten the sin-offering today, would it have been good in the eyes of the Lord?” (Leviticus 10:19). And he said, “And for the strengthening of this commandment did they elucidate about the priest that he is warned about impurity, that he should become impure regardless like other Israelites, in order that the laws of mourning not become weakened. And it was already elucidated that mourning of the first day is by Torah writ — and that is the day of death and burial. And they said in the elucidation in Moed Katan 14b [that] it is not practiced on the holiday — the positive commandment of the many comes and pushes off the positive commandment of the individual. And behold, it is elucidated [from this] that the obligation of mourning is from Torah writ and that it is a positive commandment — but only on the first day. And the remaining six [days] are rabbinic. And even a priest observes mourning on the first day, as he becomes impure for his relatives. And understand this.” To here [are his words].
מִשָּׁרְשֵׁי הַמִּצְוָה. מָה שֶׁכָּתַבְתִּי פְּעָמִים הַרְבֵּה בַּמִּצְוֹת הַקּוֹדְמוֹת כִּי הָאָדָם נִפְעָל כְּפִי פְּעֻלּוֹתָיו שֶׁיַּעֲשֶׂה, כִּי מֵהֱיוֹתוֹ בַּעַל חֹמֶר לֹא יִתְפַּעֵל לְדָבָר בְּכֹחַ עַד שֶׁיּוֹצִיא הָעִנְיָנִים מִן הַכֹּחַ אֶל הַפֹּעַל, עַל כֵּן בְּבוֹא אֵלָיו עֹנֶשׁ מִקְרֶה מָוֶת בְּאֶחָד מִקְּרוֹבָיו אֲשֶׁר הַטֶּבַע מְחַיֵּב הָאַהֲבָה לָהֶם, תְּחַיְּבֶנּוּ הַתּוֹרָה לַעֲשׂוֹת מַעֲשִׂים בְּעַצְמוֹ אֲשֶׁר יְעוֹרְרוּהוּ לִקְבֹּעַ מַחְשַׁבְתּוֹ עַל הַצַּעַר שֶׁהִגִּיעַ אֵלָיו, וְאָז יֵדַע וְיִתְבּוֹנֵן בְּנַפְשׁוֹ כִּי עֲוֹנֹתָיו גָּרְמוּ לוֹ לְהַגִּיעַ אֵלָיו הַצַּעַר הַהוּא, כִּי הַשֵּׁם יִתְבָּרַךְ לֹא יְעַנֶּה מִלִּבּוֹ וַיַּגֶּה בְּנֵי אִישׁ (איכה ג לג) כִּי אִם מִצַּד חֲטָאִים, וְזֹאת הִיא אֱמוּנָתֵנוּ הַשְּׁלֵמָה אֲנַחְנוּ בַּעֲלֵי דָּת יְהוּדִית הַיְּקָרָה, וּבְתֵת הָאָדָם אֶל לִבּוֹ עִנְיָן זֶה בְּמַעֲשֶׂה הָאֲבֵלוּת, יָשִׁית דַּעְתּוֹ לַעֲשׂוֹת תְּשׁוּבָה וְיַכְשִׁיר מַעֲשָׂיו לְפִי כֹּחוֹ. וְהִנֵּה מָצָאנוּ עִם זֶה בְּמִצְוַת הָאִבּוּל תּוֹעֶלֶת רַב לִבְנֵי אָדָם. וְהַמִּתְחַכְּמִים הַכּוֹפְרִים הַמַּהְבִּילִים עַל דִּבְרֵי הָעוֹלָם וּמַעֲשֵׂי הַשֵּׁם יִתְבָּרַךְ הַנּוֹרָאִים, יָשִׁיתוּ אוֹן בְּלִבָּם הָרַע, יִתְלוּ מוֹת בְּנֵי אִישׁ לְמִקְרֵה הַזְּמַן וְיַחְשְׁבוּ בְּמַחְשְׁבוֹתֵיהֶם הָרָעִים כִּי מִקְרֶה הָאָדָם וְהַבְּהֵמָה מִקְרֶה אֶחָד לָהֶם, וּכְמוֹת זֶה כֵּן מוֹת זֶה, וְעַל כֵּן כָּתְבוּ בְּסִפְרֵיהֶם שֶׁיִּשָּׂרְפוּ, הָאֻמְלָל מִי שֶׁיִּדְאַג כְּלָל. וְלַעֲקֹר וּלְשָׁרֵשׁ מִלְּבָבֵנוּ אֱמוּנָתָם זֹאת הָרָעָה, חִיְּבַתְנוּ הַתּוֹרָה בְּמִצְוָה זוֹ, מִלְּבַד הַתּוֹעֶלֶת בַּמֶּה שֶׁזָּכַרְנוּ.
What I have written many times about previous commandments is from the roots of this commandment — that man is acted upon according to his actions that he does. As since he is a physical being, he is not impacted by something in potential, until he takes matters from the potential to the actual. Hence when a punishment of an incident of death of one of his relatives — about which it is natural for him to love them — comes to him, the Torah obligates him to do acts with himself that arouse him to focus his thoughts on the anguish that has come to him. And then he will know and contemplate to himself that his iniquities caused it to him, that this anguish came upon him. As God, may He be blessed, “does not afflict man from His heart, nor cause woe to the sons of man,” except from the angle of sins. And this is our — we, the practitioners of the precious Jewish faith — perfect belief. And when a man puts this matter into his heart with the act of mourning, he will move his mind to repent and improve his deeds, according to his ability. And behold, we have found with this a great benefit for people in the commandment of mourning. But the heretics that want to be wise that make empty the matters of the world and the acts of God, may He be blessed, place perversity and evil on their hearts: They make the death of the sons of man dependent on the happenstance of time, and think — in their evil thoughts — that “the incident of man and beast, it is the same incident for them; and like the death of one is the death of the other.” And hence they wrote in their books — they should only be burnt — “Unfortunate is the one who worries [about this] at all.” And in order to uproot and to pull out this evil belief of theirs from our hearts, the Torah obligated us in this commandment. [This is] besides the benefit that we mentioned.
מִדִּינֵי הַמִּצְוָה. מָה שֶׁאָמְרוּ זִכְרוֹנָם לִבְרָכָה (רי"ף רמב"ן ורשב"א במועד קטן שם) שֶׁיּוֹם רִאשׁוֹן הוּא דְּאוֹרָיְתָא וְהַשִּׁשָּׁה דְּרַבָּנָן, וְאַף עַל פִּי שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר בַּתּוֹרָה (בראשית נ י), וַיַּעַשׂ לְאָבִיו אֵבֶל שִׁבְעַת יָמִים, נִתְּנָהּ תּוֹרָה וְנִתְחַדְּשָׁה הֲלָכָה. וּמִכָּל מָקוֹם אָמְרוּ זִכְרוֹנָם לִבְרָכָה (רמב"ם אבל א, א) כִּי מֹשֶׁה רַבֵּינוּ תִּקֵּן לָהֶם לְיִשְׂרָאֵל שִׁבְעַת יְמֵי אֲבֵלוּת וְשִׁבְעַת יְמֵי הַמִּשְׁתֶּה. וְאָמְרוּ זִכְרוֹנָם לִבְרָכָה (שם כז, א) שֶׁאֵין חִיּוּב הָאֲבֵלוּת חָל עַד שֶׁיִּסָּתֵם הַגּוֹלֵל, כְּלוֹמַר, אַחַר שֶׁכִּסּוּ גּוּפוֹ שֶׁל מֵת בַּקֶּבֶר, אֲבָל כָּל זְמַן שֶׁלֹּא נִקְבַּר אֵין הָאָבֵל אָסוּר בְּדָבָר מִכָּל דִּבְרֵי הָאֲבֵלוּת, וּמִפְּנֵי טַעַם זֶה רָחַץ דָּוִד הַמֶּלֶךְ וְסָךְ כְּשֶׁמֵּת הַיֶּלֶד קֹדֶם שֶׁנִּקְבַּר. וּמָה שֶׁאָמְרוּ (שבת קלו, א) שֶׁכָּל שֶׁלֹּא שָׁהָה שְׁלשִׁים יוֹם בָּאָדָם אֵין מִתְאַבְּלִים עָלָיו, לְפִי שֶׁהוּא סָפֵק. וּבַגְּמָרָא (שם) אָמְרוּ זִכְרוֹנָם לִבְרָכָה, שֶׁאִם יָדַעְנוּ בְּבֵרוּר שֶׁשָּׁלְמוּ לוֹ חֳדָשָׁיו שֶׁדִּינוֹ כִּשְׁאָר מֵתִים לְעִנְיַן אֲבֵלוּת, וְכֵן לְכָל שְׁאָר הַדְּבָרִים דִּינוֹ כְּאָדָם שָׁלֵם.
From the laws of the commandment is that which they, may their memory be blessed, said (Rif, Ramban and Rashba on Moed Katan 14b) that the first day is by Torah writ and the [next] six are rabbinic. And even though it is stated (Genesis 50:10), “and he made a mourning for his father seven days,” [when] the Torah was given, the law was recreated (a new law came into being). And nonetheless they, may their memory be blessed, said (Mishneh Torah, Laws of Mourning 1:1) that Moshe, our teacher, ordained seven days of mourning and seven days of festivity. And they, may their memory be blessed, said (Moed Katan 27a) that the obligation of mourning does not begin until the coffin cover is closed — meaning to say that the whole time that he is not buried, the mourner is not forbidden in anything from all of the things of mourning. And because of this reason, King David bathed and anointed [himself] when [his] child died, before [the child] was buried. And that which they said (Shabbat 136a) that we do not mourn for any [infant] that has not [been alive] for thirty days, is because of a doubt. But they, may their memory be blessed, said in the Gemara that if we clearly know that he has finished his months [of gestation], his law is like the law of other dead people regarding mourning; and likewise for all the other things is his law like a complete person.
וְכֵן אָמְרוּ זִכְרוֹנָם לִבְרָכָה (רמב"ם אבל שם י), שֶׁהַפּוֹרְשִׁים עַצְמָם מִכָּל דַּרְכֵי צִבּוּר, וְכֵן הַמִּינִים וְהַמְּשֻׁמָּדִים וְהַמָּסוֹרוֹת, כָּל אֵלּוּ אֵין מִתְאַבְּלִים עֲלֵיהֶם כְּלָל, שֶׁמִּיתָתָן שִׂמְחָה הִיא לָעוֹלָם וְאֵין זֶה עֹנֶשׁ לַקְּרוֹבִים אֲבָל זְכוּת הוּא לָהֶם, וְכָל זֶה מִן הַשֹּׁרֶשׁ שֶׁכָּתַבְתִּי, וַעֲלֵיהֶם נֶאֱמַר (תהלים קלט כא) הֲלֹא מְשַׂנְאֶיךָ יְיָ אֶשְׂנָא. וְכֵן הַמֵּמִית עַצְמוֹ לְדַעַת, אֵין מִתְאַבְּלִין עָלָיו, וּבִמְקוֹמוֹ מִתְבָּרֵר כֵּיצַד נֵדַע שֶׁלְּדַעַת הִכָּה אֶת עַצְמוֹ. וְכֵן מִדִּינֵי הַמִּצְוָה הַדְּבָרִים שֶׁאָמְרוּ זִכְרוֹנָם לִבְרָכָה (מוע"ק כא, א) שֶׁהָאָבֵל אָסוּר בָּהֶן בְּיוֹם רִאשׁוֹן מִן הַתּוֹרָה, וּבִשְׁאָר הַיָּמִים דְּרַבָּנָן, וְדִין שִׁבְעָה וּשְׁלֹשִׁים, וְדִין שְׁנֵים עָשָׂר חֹדֶשׁ בַּאֲבֵלוּת אָב וָאֵם, וְדִין קְרִיעָה, מִי הֵם הַקְּרוֹבִים שֶׁקּוֹרְעִין וְאֵיזֶה זְמַן, וְכֵיצַד עַל הַקְּרוֹבִים, וְכֵיצַד עַל אָב וָאֵם, וְעַל מִי מִקְּרוֹבָיו וּמִמְּלַמְּדָיו וּמִגְּדֹלָיו, וְעַל אֵיזֶה מְקוֹמוֹת בְּחֻרְבָּנָן, וְדִינֵי הַקְּרָעִים שֶׁשּׁוֹלְלִין אֹתָן מִיָּד אוֹ לְאַחַר זְמַן, וְדִין הָאִשָּׁה שֶׁשּׁוֹלֶלֶת מִיָּד כְּדֵי שֶׁלֹּא תִּתְבַּזֶּה, וְדִין הָרְגָלִים שֶׁמַּפְסִיקִין וְאֵינָן עוֹלִין. וּמָה שֶׁאָמְרוּ (שם יט, א), שֶׁכָּל הַקּוֹבֵר מֵתוֹ אֲפִלּוּ שָׁעָה אַחַת קֹדֶם הָרֶגֶל, בָּטְלָה מִמֶּנּוּ גְּזֵרַת שִׁבְעָה, וְאִם עָבְרוּ שִׁבְעָה קֹדֶם הָרֶגֶל וְנִכְנַס אֲפִלּוּ שָׁעָה אַחַת תּוֹךְ שְׁלוֹשִׁים, בָּטְלוּ מִמֶּנּוּ גְּזֵרַת שְׁלוֹשִׁים, וְרֹאשׁ הַשָּׁנָה וְיוֹם הַכִּפּוּרִים דִּינָם כִּרְגָלִים שֶׁל פֶּסַח, שָׁבוּעוֹת וְסֻכּוֹת. וּמָה שֶׁאָמְרוּ (שם כד ב) שֶׁאַף עַל פִּי שֶׁאֵין אֲבֵלוּת בְּחֻלּוֹ שֶׁל מוֹעֵד, קוֹרֵעַ אָדָם עַל מֵתוֹ שֶׁחַיָּב לְהִתְאַבֵּל, וְדִין שְׁמוּעָה רְחוֹקָה לְאַחַר שְׁלֹשִׁים יוֹם, שֶׁאֵין נוֹהֲגִין אֲבֵלוּת אֶלָּא יוֹם אֶחָד, וְאֵינוֹ קוֹרֵעַ, שֶׁהֲלָכָה כְּרַבִּי מָנִי דְּאָמַר הָכִי בַּגְּמָרָא מַשְׁקִין (שם כ ב); אֲבָל עַל אָבִיו וְעַל אִמּוֹ קוֹרֵעַ אֲפִלּוּ בִּשְׁמוּעָה רְחוֹקָה לְדַעַת הָרַמְבַּ"ן זִכְרוֹנוֹ לִבְרָכָה (בתורת האדם עמ' סא ב), [וְלֹא] לְדַעַת הָרַב רַבִּי אַבְרָהָם בְּרַבִּי דָּוִד זִכְרוֹנוֹ לִבְרָכָה.
And so [too,] did they, may their memory be blessed, say (Mishneh Torah, Laws of Mourning 1:10) [regarding] those that separate themselves from all the ways of the community, and likewise heretics, apostates and informants — that we do not mourn at all for all of them, since their death is gladness for the world. And this is not a punishment for their relatives, but rather a merit for them. And this is all from the root that I wrote. And about them is stated (Psalms 139:21), “Do I not hate those You hate?” And likewise, we do not mourn for one who kills himself on purpose. And in its place, it is clarified how we know that he struck himself on purpose. And also from the laws of the commandment are the things that they, may their memory be blessed, said (Moed Katan 21a) that the mourner is forbidden with on the first day from Torah writ and the rest of the days rabbinically; the law of seven and thirty [days]; the law of twelve months of mourning for father and mother; the law of tearing — who are the relatives who tear and what is the time [for it], how is it for [other] relatives and how is it for father and mother, for which of his relatives, and his teacher and his greats, for which places in the Land of Israel in their destruction; the law of the tear that we darn immediately or after a time and the law that a woman darns immediately so as not to be disgraced; the law of the holidays that interrupt [the count] and do not count [in the tally], and that which they said (Moed Katan 19a) that the decree of seven is negated for anyone who buries his dead even an hour before the holiday, and the decree of thirty is negated if seven days passed before the holiday and he began even one hour of the thirty [days], and that the status of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur is the same as the holidays of Pesach, Shavuot and Sukkot; that which they said (Moed Katan 24b) that even though there is no mourning on the intermediate days of the festival, a man tears for a dead [relative] for which he is obligated to mourn; the law that we only observe one day and do not tear for a distant report [of death] after thirty days — since the law is like Rabbi Mani, who said like this in the Gemara [Moed Katan 21b] — but he tears even for a distant report for his father and for his mother according to the opinion of Ramban, may this memory be blessed, (Torat HaAdam 61b), but not according to the opinion of the rabbi, Rabbi Avraham beRebbi David (Ravad), may his memory be blessed.
וְעִנְיַן הַהֶסְפֵּד עַל מִי מַסְפִּידִין, וְכֵיצַד, וְשַׁבָּת וְיוֹם טוֹב וְחֻלּוֹ שֶׁל מוֹעֵד וַחֲנֻכָּה וּפוּרִים מָה הֵן בְּהֶסְפֵּד, וְעַל מִי מְבַטְּלִין תַּלְמוּד תּוֹרָה בְּמוֹתָן. וְעִנְיַן צִדּוּק הַדִּין וְהַבְּרָכוֹת וְהַנֶּחָמוֹת שֶׁעוֹשִׂין בְּבֵית הָאָבֵל, וְעִנְיַן לִקּוּט עֲצָמוֹת שֶׁל קְרוֹבִים וְכֵן לִקּוּט עַצְמוֹת אָבִיו וְאִמּוֹ. וּמָה שֶׁאָמְרוּ (שם) שֶׁהַקְּרוֹבִים שֶׁמִּתְאַבְּלִים עֲלֵיהֶם, מִתְאַבְּלִים עִמָּהֶם בִּפְנֵיהֶם מִדִּבְרֵי סוֹפְרִים [לִכְבוֹדָם] וּמָה שֶׁאָמְרוּ שֶׁמִּתְאַבֵּל אָדָם עַל אִשְׁתּוֹ, וְהִיא עַל בַּעְלָהּ, וְעַל אַחִים מִן הָאֵם מִדִּבְרֵי סוֹפְרִים, וּבְנוֹ אוֹ אָחִיו מִן הַשִּׁפְחָה אוֹ מִן הַנָּכְרִית אֵין מִתְאַבְּלִין עֲלֵיהֶן אֲפִילּוּ נִתְגַּיְּרוּ, לֹא מִדִּבְרֵי תּוֹרָה וְלֹא מִדִּבְרֵי סוֹפְרִים, וְהַכֹּהֵן מִטַּמֵּא לְאִשְׁתּוֹ, אַף עַל פִּי שֶׁאֲבֵלוּת אָדָם עַל אִשְׁתּוֹ מִדִּבְרֵי סוֹפְרִים עָשׂוּ אוֹתָהּ כְּמֵת מִצְוָה, וּמֵאַחַר שֶׁנִּסְתַּם הַגּוֹלֵל, אֵין מִטַּמֵּא כֹּהֵן עוֹד. וּמָה שֶׁאָמְרוּ שֶׁחִיּוּב אֲבֵלוּת בִּשְׁלֹשָׁה קְרוֹבִים דְּרַבָּנָן וְאֵלּוּ הֵם אָח אוֹ אָחוֹת מֵאֵם, וַאֲחוֹת נְשׂוּאָה אוֹ אֲרוּסָה, בֵּין מֵאָב בֵּין מֵאֵם, וּבֶן אֲנוּסָה וּמְפֻתָּה, וּלְפִיכָךְ אֵין כֹּהֵן מִטַּמֵּא בְּאֵלּוּ. וְאֵלּוּ הָעִנְיָנִים עִם יֶתֶר פְּרָטֶיהָ מְבֹאָרִים בְּמַסֶּכֶת מַשְׁקִין (מועד קטן) וּבִמְקוֹמוֹת מִבְּרָכוֹת וּכְתֻבּוֹת וִיבָמוֹת וּבַסִּפְרָא בְּפָרָשַׁת אֱמֹר אֶל הַכֹּהֲנִים [יו"ד סימן שעב שעג שעד].
And regarding the eulogy, for whom do we eulogize and how, and what is [the relation] of Shabbat, holidays, intermediate festival days, Channukah and Purim to it; for the death of whom do we cancel Torah study; the matter of justification of the decree, the blessings and consolations that are made in the house of the mourner; the matter of gathering the bones of relatives and likewise the gathering of the bones of his father and his mother; that which they said (Moed Katan 20b) that we mourn with mourners, who are relatives for which we would mourn in front of them [for their honor] from the words of the [Rabbis]; that which they said that a man mourns for his wife — and she for her husband — and for brothers from the mother from the words of the [Rabbis]; that he does not mourn for his son or his brother from a maidservant or an idolatress (gentile) — even if they convert — not from Torah writ and not from the words of the [Rabbis]; that a priest becomes impure for his wife — even though the mourning of a man for his wife is only from the words of the [Rabbis], they made her like a dead body that one is commanded to be involved with (met mitzvah), but once the coffin cover is closed, he may no longer become impure; that which they said that the obligation of mourning is rabbinic for three relatives and these are them — a brother or sister from the mother, a married or betrothed sister from either the father or the mother and [even if the mother] was raped or seduced — and therefore a priest does not become impure for these relatives. And these matters with the rest of its details are elucidated in Tractate [Moed Katan] and in other places in Berakhot, Ketuvot and Yevamot and in Sifra, Parashat Emor el HaKohanim. (See Tur, Yoreh Deah 372-374.)
וְנוֹהֶגֶת מִצְוָה זוֹ, שֶׁל חִיּוּב הַטֻּמְאָה בַּמֵּת הַקָּרוֹב, בְּכֹהֵן בְּכָל מָקוֹם וּבְכָל זְמַן וְכֵן בְּזִכְרֵי כְּהֻנָּה, אֲבָל הַנָּשִׁים אֵינָן בְּחִיּוּב זֶה, שֶׁכֵּן בָּא הַפֵּרוּשׁ, שֶׁמִּי שֶׁנִּמְנַע מִלְּהִטַּמֵּא לְזוּלַת הַקְּרוֹבִים, הוּא שֶׁנִּצְטַוָּה לְהִטַּמֵּא לַקְּרוֹבִים, אֲבָל הַנָּשִׁים הַכֹּהֲנוֹת, אַחַר שֶׁלֹּא נִמְנְעוּ מִלְּהִטַּמֵּא בְּמֵת, כְּמוֹ שֶׁמְּבֹאָר בִּמְקוֹמוֹ (מצוה רסג), כְּמוֹ כֵן לֹא נִצְטַוּוּ לְהִטַּמֵּא לַקְּרוֹבִים עַל כָּל פָּנִים, אֲבָל מִתְאַבְּלוֹת הֵן מִכָּל מָקוֹם, וְלָהֶן הַבְּחִירָה לְהִטַּמֵּא אִם יִרְצוּ, וְדַע זֶה וְזָכְרֵהוּ. וּמִצְוַת חִיּוּב הָאֲבֵלוּת, הַנִּגְרֶרֶת עִם מִצְוָה זוֹ כְּמוֹ שֶׁאָמַרְנוּ, נוֹהֶגֶת בְּכָל מָקוֹם וּבְכָל זְמַן וּבְכָל אָדָם בֵּין כֹּהֵן בֵּין יִשְׂרָאֵל וּבִזְכָרִים וּנְקֵבוֹת. וְכֹהֵן הָעוֹבֵר עַל זֶה וְלֹא רָצָה לְהִטַּמֵּא לְשִׁשָּׁה הַקְּרוֹבִים הַנִּזְכָּרִים בַּכָּתוּב, וְכֵן כֹּהֵן אוֹ יִשְׂרָאֵל שֶׁלֹּא רָצוּ לְהִתְאַבֵּל עַל קְרוֹבֵיהֶם בִּדְבָרִים שֶׁמָּנוּ חֲכָמִים בְּחִיּוּב עִקַּר הָאֲבֵלוּת בְּיוֹם רִאשׁוֹן בִּטְּלוּ עֲשֵׂה זֶה. וּכְבָר כָּתַבְתִּי לְמַעְלָה (מצוה ו), שֶׁבֵּית דִּין כּוֹפִין עַל בִּטּוּל עֲשֵׂה. וְיֵשׁ מִן הַמְפָרְשִׁים שֶׁכָּתְבוּ שֶׁאֵין מִצְוַת אִבּוּל נֶחְשֶׁבֶת לְמִצְוָה דְּאוֹרָיְתָא, אוּלַי דַּעְתָּם לוֹמַר שֶׁאַף עַל פִּי שֶׁאוֹנֵן אָסוּר בַּקֳּדָשִׁים דְּאוֹרָיְתָא, כָּל עִנְיַן אֲבֵלוּת מִיהָא דְּרַבָּנָן הוּא.
And this commandment of the obligations of impurity for the dead body of a relative is practiced by a priest in every place and at all times. And so is it with males of the priesthood, but the women are not [commanded] in this obligation. As so did the explanation come — that the one who is prevented from becoming impure for any others aside from the relatives, he is the one who is commanded to become impure for the relatives. But since women priests were not prevented from becoming impure for a dead body — as is explained in its place (Sefer HaChinukh 263) — so too, were they not commanded to become impure to the relatives regardless; but they must nonetheless mourn. And they have a choice whether to become impure if they want. And know this and remember it. And the commandment of the obligation of mourning — that is dragged along with this commandment, as we said — is practiced in every place and at all times by every person, whether priest, Israelite, male or female. And a priest who transgresses this and does not want to become impure for the six relatives mentioned in Scripture — and likewise, a priest or an Israelite who did not want to mourn for his relatives with the things that the Sages enumerated in the obligation of the main mourning of the first day — has violated this positive commandment. And I have already written above (Sefer HaChinukh 6) that the court coerces [one who refrains from] a positive commandment. And there are some of the commentators that wrote that the commandment of mourning is not considered a commandment from the Torah. Maybe their opinion is to say that even though one bereaved (onen) is forbidden in consecrated foods from Torah writ, the whole matter of mourning is nonetheless rabbinic.