Note that all the figures of souls that are to be born stand before God in pairs, and afterwards when they come to this world God mates them. R. Isaac says: ‘God announces, The daughter of so-and-so for so-and-so.’ R. Jose said: ‘How can that be, seeing that, as the Scripture tells us, “there is nothing new under the sun”?’ R. Judah said: ‘It is true that God creates nothing new under the sun; but this is done above.’
R. Jose further asked: ‘Why is there a proclamation, seeing that, as we have been told by R. Hizkiah in the name of R. Hiya, a man’s wife is assigned to him at the very moment when he is born?’
Said R. Abba: ‘Happy are the righteous whose souls are beatified before the Holy King before they come into this world. For we have learnt that when God sends souls into the world they are formed into pairs of male and female, and thus united
are placed in the hands of an emissary who has charge of conception, and whose name is Night. After that they are separated, and subsequently taken down among mankind (not always both at the same time).
When their time of marriage arrives, God, who knows each spirit and soul, joins them as at first, and proclaims their union. Thus when they are joined they become one body and one soul, right and left in unison, and in this way “there is nothing new under the sun”.
You may object that there is also a dictum that “a man only obtains the wife he deserves”. This is so, the meaning being that if he leads a virtuous life he is privileged to marry his own true mate, whose soul emerged at the same time as his.’
R. Hiya asked: ‘Where should a man of good character look for his soul-mate?’ He replied: ‘There is a dictum that a man should sell all his property in order to obtain in marriage a daughter of a scholar, for the special treasure of God is deposited with the learned in the Torah.
We have also learnt in the esoteric Mishnah that one whose soul is a second time on earth can through prayer anticipate another in marrying a woman who is really destined for him; this is the meaning of the warning of the colleagues, “it is permissible to affiance a woman on the festival, lest another through prayer anticipate him”; and they were right. The word “another” is used significantly; and it is for this reason that marriages constitute a difficult task for the Almighty, for in all cases “the ways of the Lord are right” (Hos. 14, 10).’
9
רַבִּי יְהוּדָה שָׁלַח לֵיהּ לְרַבִּי אֶלְעָזָר אָמַר הָא רָזָא דְמִלָּה יְדַעְנָא, אִנּוּן דְּאָתוּ בְּגִלְגּוּלָא דְּנִשְׁמָתִין מֵאָן אֲתַר לְהוּ זִוּוּגָא. שְׁלַח לֵיהּ כְּתִיב, (שופטים כ״א:ז׳) מַה נַּעֲשֶׂה לָהֶם לַנּוֹתָרִים לְנָשִׁים וְגו'. וּכְתִיב לְכוּ וַחֲטַפְתֶּם לָכֶם וְגו'. פַּרְשָׁתָא דִּבְנִי בִנְיָמִין אוֹכַח וְעַל הַאי תָּנִינָן שֶׁמָּא יְקַדְמֶנּוּ אַחֵר בְּרַחֲמִים. (כי אותו אחר אין לו בת זוגו, אבל תשכח דא כגון בר נש דנסיב בת זוגיה ולא הוו ליה מנה בנין ומת, ייתי אחוהי וייבם אתתיה ויתיליד ליה מנה בר. האי בר הוא מיתא דאהדרת נשמתיה לעלמא. דא הוא אחר דאין לו בת זוג אלא אמיה, ודא הוא שמא יקדמנו אחר ברחמים דיכיל לאקדמא אחרא למיסב אתתיה דדא ברחמי ובצלותא ואף על גב דאמינא לך דיכיל לאקדמא ברחמי לא יכיל אלא אם (הוא) בעלה חייבא איהו ואיהו זכאה)
R. Judah sent a question to R. Eleazar. ‘I know’, he said, ‘about marriages in heaven, but I would like to ask, from where do those whose souls are a second time on earth obtain their mates?’ The reply R. Eleazar sent him was this: ‘It is written: “How shall we do for wives for them that remain?” (Jud. 21, 7), and again, “and you shall catch every man his wife, etc.” (Ibid. 21). This story of the Benjaminites shows us how it can be done, and hence the dictum “lest another anticipate him through his prayers”.’
Said R. Judah: ‘No wonder we say that marriages constitute a difficult problem for the Almighty! Happy the lot of Israel who learn from the Torah the ways of God and all hidden things, and even the most secret of His mysteries!
“The Law of the Lord is perfect”, says the Scripture. Happy the lot of him who occupies himself with the Torah without cessation, for if a man abandons the Torah for one moment, it is as if he abandoned eternal life, as it says, “For it is thy life and the length of thy days” (Deut. 30, 20), and again, “For length of days and years of life and peace shall they add to thee” (Prov. 3, 2).’
וְתָּא חֲזֵי, בְּכָל אִנּוּן דִּיוּקְנִין דְּנִשְׁמָתִין דְּעָלְמָא כֻּלְהוּ זִוּוּגִין זִוּוּגִין קַמֵּיהּ. לְבָתַר כַּד אַתְיָין לְהַאי עָלְמָא קוּדְשָׁא בְּרִיךְ הוּא מְזַוִּוג זִוּוּגִין. אָמַר רַבִּי (יהודה) יִצְחָק קוּדְשָׁא בְּרִיךְ הוּא (מזווג זווגין ואמר) אָמַר בַּת פְּלוֹנִי לִפְלוֹנִי. אָמַר רַבִּי יוֹסֵי מַאי קָא מַיְירֵי וְהָא כְּתִיב, (קהלת א׳:ט׳) אֵין כָּל חָדָשׁ תַּחַת הַשֶּׁמֶשׁ. אָמַר רַבִּי יְהוּדָה תַּחַת הַשֶּׁמֶשׁ כְּתִיב, שָׁאנֵי לְעֵילָא.
Note that all the figures of souls that are to be born stand before God in pairs, and afterwards when they come to this world God mates them. R. Isaac says: ‘God announces, The daughter of so-and-so for so-and-so.’ R. Jose said: ‘How can that be, seeing that, as the Scripture tells us, “there is nothing new under the sun”?’ R. Judah said: ‘It is true that God creates nothing new under the sun; but this is done above.’
אָמַר רַבִּי יוֹסֵי מַאי כָּרוֹזָא הָכָא. וְהָא אָמַר רַבִּי חִזְקִיָּה אָמַר רַבִּי חִיָּיא בְּהַהִיא שַׁעֲתָא מַמָּשׁ דְּנָפִיק בַּר נָשׁ לְעָלְמָא בַּת זוּגוֹ אִזְדַמְּנַת לוֹ.
R. Jose further asked: ‘Why is there a proclamation, seeing that, as we have been told by R. Hizkiah in the name of R. Hiya, a man’s wife is assigned to him at the very moment when he is born?’
אָמַר רַבִּי אַבָּא זַכָּאִין אִנּוּן צַדִּיקַיָּיא דְּנִשְׁמַתְהוֹן מִתְעַטְּרִין קַמֵּי מַלְכָּא קַדִּישָׁא עַד לָא יֵיתוּן לְעָלְמָא, דְּהָכִי תָּנִינָן בְּהַהִיא שַׁעֲתָא דְּאַפִּיק קוּדְשָׁא בְּרִיךְ הוּא נִשְׁמָתִין לְעָלְמָא, כָּל אִנּוּן רוּחִין וְנִשְׁמָתִין כֻּלְהוּ כְּלִילָן דְּכַר וְנוּקְבָא דְּמִתְחַבְּרָן כְּחֲדָא.
Said R. Abba: ‘Happy are the righteous whose souls are beatified before the Holy King before they come into this world. For we have learnt that when God sends souls into the world they are formed into pairs of male and female, and thus united
וְאִתְמַסְּרָן בִּידָא דְּהַהוּא מְמַנָּא שְׁלִיחָא דְּאִתְפַּקַּד עַל עִדּוּאֵיהוֹן דִּבְנֵי נָשָׁא. וְלַיְלָה שְׁמֵיהּ, וּבְשַׁעֲתָא דְּנָחֲתִין וְאִתְמַסְרָן בִּידוֹי מִתְפָּרְשִׁין, וּלְזִמְנִין דָּא אַקְדִּים מִן דָּא וְאָחִית לְהוּ בִּבְנֵי נָשָׁא.
are placed in the hands of an emissary who has charge of conception, and whose name is Night. After that they are separated, and subsequently taken down among mankind (not always both at the same time).
וְכַד (מחא) מָטָא עִידָן דְּזִוּוּגָא דִלְהוֹן. קוּדְשָׁא בְּרִיךְ הוּא דְּיָדַע אִנּוּן רוּחִין וְנִשְׁמָתִין מְחַבַּר לוֹן כִּדְבְּקַדְמִיתָא וּמַכְרְזָא עֲלַיְיהוּ. וְכַד אִתְחַבְּרָן אִתְעֲבִידוּ חַד גּוּפָא חַד נִשְׁמָתָא יָמִינָא וּשְׂמָאלָא כְּדְקָא חָזֵי, וּבְגִין כָּךְ אֵין כָּל חָדָשׁ תַּחַת הַשָּׁמֶשׁ.
When their time of marriage arrives, God, who knows each spirit and soul, joins them as at first, and proclaims their union. Thus when they are joined they become one body and one soul, right and left in unison, and in this way “there is nothing new under the sun”.
וְאִי תֵימָא הָא תָּנִינָן לֵית זִוּוּגָא אֶלָּא לְפוּם עוֹבָדוֹי וְאָרְחוֹי דְּבַר נָשׁ. הָכִי הוּא וַדַּאי. דְּאִי זָכֵי וְעוֹבָדוֹי אִתְכַּשְׁרָן, זָכֵי לְהַהוּא דִּילֵיהּ לְאִתְחַבָּרָא בֵּיהּ כְּמָה דְּנָפִיק.
You may object that there is also a dictum that “a man only obtains the wife he deserves”. This is so, the meaning being that if he leads a virtuous life he is privileged to marry his own true mate, whose soul emerged at the same time as his.’
אָמַר רַבִי חִיָּיא מַאן דְּאִתְכַּשְׁרָן עוֹבָדוֹי בְּאָן אֲתַר יִתְבַּע (ס"א יתבא) הַהוּא זִוּוּגָא דִּילֵיהּ. אָמַר לֵיהּ הָא תָּנִינָן לְעוֹלָם יִמְכֹּר אָדָם כו' וְיִשָּׂא בַּת תַּלְמִיד חָכָם (ד"א ל"ג תא חזי). דְּתַלְמִיד חָכָם פִּקְדוֹנָא דְמָארֵיהּ אִתְפַּקְדָן בִּידֵיהּ.
R. Hiya asked: ‘Where should a man of good character look for his soul-mate?’ He replied: ‘There is a dictum that a man should sell all his property in order to obtain in marriage a daughter of a scholar, for the special treasure of God is deposited with the learned in the Torah.
תָּאנָא בְּרָזָא דְּמַתְנִיתָּא כָּל אִנּוּן דְּאָתוּ בְּגִלְגּוּלָא דְּנִשְׁמָתִין יָכְלִין לְאַקְדָּמָא בְּרַחֲמֵי זִוּוּגָא דִּלְהוֹן. וְעַל הַאי אִתְעָרוּ חַבְרַיָיא. (אין נושאין נשים במועד אבל מקדשין) שֶׁמָּא יְקַדְּמֶנּוּ אַחֵר בְּרַחֲמִים. וְשַׁפִּיר קָאֲמְרוּ אַחֵר דַּיְיקָא, וְעַל כֵּן קָשִׁין זִוּוּגִין קַמֵּיהּ דְּקוּדְשָׁא בְּרִיךְ הוּא. וְעַל כֹּלָּא (פנים) וַדַּאי כִּי יְשָׁרִים דַּרְכֵי יְיָ כְּתִיב.
We have also learnt in the esoteric Mishnah that one whose soul is a second time on earth can through prayer anticipate another in marrying a woman who is really destined for him; this is the meaning of the warning of the colleagues, “it is permissible to affiance a woman on the festival, lest another through prayer anticipate him”; and they were right. The word “another” is used significantly; and it is for this reason that marriages constitute a difficult task for the Almighty, for in all cases “the ways of the Lord are right” (Hos. 14, 10).’
רַבִּי יְהוּדָה שָׁלַח לֵיהּ לְרַבִּי אֶלְעָזָר אָמַר הָא רָזָא דְמִלָּה יְדַעְנָא, אִנּוּן דְּאָתוּ בְּגִלְגּוּלָא דְּנִשְׁמָתִין מֵאָן אֲתַר לְהוּ זִוּוּגָא. שְׁלַח לֵיהּ כְּתִיב, (שופטים כ״א:ז׳) מַה נַּעֲשֶׂה לָהֶם לַנּוֹתָרִים לְנָשִׁים וְגו'. וּכְתִיב לְכוּ וַחֲטַפְתֶּם לָכֶם וְגו'. פַּרְשָׁתָא דִּבְנִי בִנְיָמִין אוֹכַח וְעַל הַאי תָּנִינָן שֶׁמָּא יְקַדְמֶנּוּ אַחֵר בְּרַחֲמִים. (כי אותו אחר אין לו בת זוגו, אבל תשכח דא כגון בר נש דנסיב בת זוגיה ולא הוו ליה מנה בנין ומת, ייתי אחוהי וייבם אתתיה ויתיליד ליה מנה בר. האי בר הוא מיתא דאהדרת נשמתיה לעלמא. דא הוא אחר דאין לו בת זוג אלא אמיה, ודא הוא שמא יקדמנו אחר ברחמים דיכיל לאקדמא אחרא למיסב אתתיה דדא ברחמי ובצלותא ואף על גב דאמינא לך דיכיל לאקדמא ברחמי לא יכיל אלא אם (הוא) בעלה חייבא איהו ואיהו זכאה)
R. Judah sent a question to R. Eleazar. ‘I know’, he said, ‘about marriages in heaven, but I would like to ask, from where do those whose souls are a second time on earth obtain their mates?’ The reply R. Eleazar sent him was this: ‘It is written: “How shall we do for wives for them that remain?” (Jud. 21, 7), and again, “and you shall catch every man his wife, etc.” (Ibid. 21). This story of the Benjaminites shows us how it can be done, and hence the dictum “lest another anticipate him through his prayers”.’
אָמַר רַבִּי יְהוּדָה (השתא) הַאי הוּא וַדַּאי דְּקָשִׁין זִוּוּגִין קַמֵּי קוּדְשָׁא בְּרִיךְ הוּא. זַכָּאָה חוּלַקְהוֹן דְּיִשְׂרָאֵל דְּאוֹרַיְיתָא אוֹלִיף לְהוּ אָרְחוֹי דְּקוּדְשָׁא בְּרִיךְ הוּא, וְכָל טְמִירִין וּגְנִיזָא דִּגְנִיזִין קַמֵּיהּ.
Said R. Judah: ‘No wonder we say that marriages constitute a difficult problem for the Almighty! Happy the lot of Israel who learn from the Torah the ways of God and all hidden things, and even the most secret of His mysteries!
וַדַּאי כְּתִיב, (תהילים י״ט:ח׳) תּוֹרַת יְיָ תְּמִימָה וְגו'. זַכָּאָה חוּלָקֵיהּ מַאן דְּיִשְׁתָּדַל בְּאוֹרַיְיתָא וְלָא יִתְפְּרַשׁ מִינָהּ, דְּכָל מַאן דְּיִתְפְּרַשׁ מֵאוֹרַיְיתָא אֲפִלּוּ שַׁעֲתָא חָדָא כְּמָה דְּאִתְפְּרַשׁ מֵחַיֵּי דְּעָלְמָא דִּכְתִיב, (דברים ל׳:כ׳) כִּי הִיא חַיֶּיךָ וְאֹרֶךְ יָמֶיךָ. וּכְתִיב, (משלי ג׳:ב׳) אֹרֶךְ יָמִים וּשְׁנוֹת חַיִּים וְשָׁלוֹם יוֹסִיפוּ לָךְ:
“The Law of the Lord is perfect”, says the Scripture. Happy the lot of him who occupies himself with the Torah without cessation, for if a man abandons the Torah for one moment, it is as if he abandoned eternal life, as it says, “For it is thy life and the length of thy days” (Deut. 30, 20), and again, “For length of days and years of life and peace shall they add to thee” (Prov. 3, 2).’