The quality of love involves more deeds than all the other qualities. And when a man uses the quality of love for evil there is not a single quality so evil. But when a man uses the quality of his love for good, then that quality is higher than all others, as it is written : "And you shall love the Lord your God" (Deut. 6:5). And there is no greater virtue in the Service of the Creator than he who serves Him out of love.
And now listen how love can spoil good deeds when his love is stronger than his wisdom. For there are all sorts of different kinds of love. One love is the love of a man for his children, and because of his great love, he may not correct them and guide them to the good path, and he permits them to go in the obstinacy of their evil hearts, and out of this can come great harm.
The second love is the love for money, and because of his great desire for money, his business dealings may not be honest and he covets, plunders, and robs, in order to amass wealth. And because of his great longing for wealth he closes his hand from giving alms and is miserly.
The third love is the love of men for their wives. And if a man has a bad wife — conceited and self-centered — she may remove from his heart the desire to fulfill the commandments and draw him after her. And because of his great love for her he is not firm with her and listens to her counsel, and she can bring him to evil acts. And it can also happen that a man, because of his great love of women, will gaze at them constantly and speak disgraceful things and come to immoral conduct.
The fourth love is the love of a man for his relatives — his father and his mother, his brothers and his sisters and the rest of his kind, friends and companions, and because of his love for them he helps them in their quarrels, and does not feel, nor does he ascertain whether or not his relatives did wrong against the other party of the quarrel, but always helps, protects and shelters them. And even if they have broken forth into wild and boisterous conduct, he protects them. And he may even listen to their advice, and even if the advice is not good he will not turn away from their words. He may even want to raise them to positions for which they are not fitted — for example, to make them rulers and leaders of their generations, to dominate and govern the people. And even if they are wicked, he does not sense it, for love blinds his eyes and makes deaf his ears, and there is, in this nepotism, great damage, for they will cause others to go astray in this same folly.
The sixth love is the love of honor, and he who loves honor will not do his good deeds for the sake of God, but in all the commandments, or good deeds he does — whether it be philanthropy or studying or supporting Torah, or the value of the commandments, his thoughts and intentions will be fixed on receiving praise and honor and he will want people to give him a crown and greatness, and this is a great flaw in the Service of God. Even he who has great knowledge of the Torah and many good deeds — the pursuit of honor removes him from the world. How much uglier is the pursuit of honor by one who is devoid of Torah and good deeds.
And there is a seventh love — which is the worst of all loves — and that is the love of pleasure and amusement — like eating, drinking, and other pleasures of the senses like immoral conduct and pleasure excursions. And it is not necessary to dwell on this matter because he who loves wine to the point of drunkenness and eats only the daintiest of foods and goes constantly to parties and feasts will undoubtedly forget his Creator, as it is written: "And (when) you shall eat and drink … guard yourself lest you forget the Lord" (Deut. 6:11-12). "And (when) you shall eat and be satisfied … guard yourself lest your heart be deceived and you turn aside and serve other gods" (Ibid. 11:15-16). And it is written: "But where Jeshurun grew fat he kicked" (Ibid., 32:15).
He who wishes to escape from the fowler's net of all these loves will need great wisdom and much courage, lest he be caught in their pit for all of these various loves surround the heart of a person, and if he succeeds in thrusting away one or two of these loves from within him, then will the remaining loves still thrust him from the light to the darkness. Therefore it is necessary to teach you that you should be careful and alert as to how to deal with all of these loves and always be mindful in combatting them of the ways of the Lord, Blessed is He, according to the tenor of what is said: "In all your paths know Him (Prov. 3:6).
A real love for one's children must be in this path — that he thinks always to guide his children in the paths of Justice, and teach them the manner of serving God. Blessed is He, according to what is said: "The father shall make known to the children Thy truth" (Is. 38:19). And it is written: "And you shall make known (the lessons of Sinai) to your children and your children's children" (Deut. 4:9). And, as it is said concerning Abraham, "For I know him to the end that he should command his children and his household after him" (Gen. 18:19).
And love of money should be in this manner: — that he should love his own money in order not to covet the money of others, and not find it necessary to steal, rob, or be compelled to receive alms, but shall able to provide for others out of his own, and clothe the poor and feed them, and strengthen with his money those who study the Torah and revere the Lord. And, also, because of his money, he can free himself from many involvements in this material world and set definite times for Torah and the fulfillment of God's commands, inasmuch as he has sufficient for his material needs. But he should not find security in his great wealth and vaunt himself with it but should purchase with his transitory wealth the eternal life of the world to come.
And the love of a wife should be in this manner — that he should have it in mind that his wife saves him from sin and separates him far from immoral conduct, and, through his wife he fulfills the command of "Be fruitful and multiply," and it is his wife that raises his children and she works for him all her days, and prepares his food and all the other needs of the household, and because of her devotion and work he has time to study Torah and concern himself with God's commands, and thus she aids him to serve the Creator, may His Name be Blessed.
And love for father and mother should be in this manner — that he should be ever mindful that they reared him and exerted themselves to teach him the ways of the Lord, may He be Blessed, and instructed him and educated him as to Torah and Commandments, and it is through them that he can fulfill the command of the Creator, may He be Blessed, as it is written: "Honor your father and your mother" (Exod. 20:12).
And his brothers, sisters and other relatives he should love in this manner — that he should assume and have it in mind that they are attempting to bring him to virtues that are dedicated to the service of the Creator, may He be Blessed, and that he should similarly interest himself in them to teach them and correct them and not show them many special privileges or partiality in a matter involving others. For this there is great reward for him, since this fair conduct is a great virtue, as it is written: "And he has not done a shameful thing to favor his relative" (Ps. 15:3).
And there is much advantage to a man in his relatives, as we found in the case of Lot whom Abraham, his uncle, saved from the warring kings, and fought for his sake, and also from the destruction of Sodom, Lot was saved because of the merit of Abraham.
A man should love his friends and all those near to him as well as the rest of Israel with a complete love to fulfill what is said: "And you shall love your neighbor as yourself" (Lev. 19:18). And this is a great general rule in the Torah: "That which is hateful to you do not do to your neighbor" (Shabbath 31a). And even more pertinent is the verse: "For in the image of God made He man" (Gen. 9:6). (This is commented upon in T.P. Nedarim 9:4.)
One gain is in this world — if he conducts himself with love for everyone, everyone will help him. If he should fall, many are they who will help him and support him, and if a man rises against him to quarrel with him, then many will silence those who speak evil against him and abuse him. And if trouble comes upon him, all will feel his pain and will extend a hand to him. And if he should come to distress and poverty, many will be compassionate with him and show it by their gifts.
As for his gain in the world to come — because he is beloved by all, his words are listened to and he has the power to rebuke people that they should improve their deeds. And also because of his love for all he will be at peace and secure and free to study and to do good deeds. And also from the depths of their love people will help him and he will do his work more easily and they will protect him, and he will find more leisure to serve the Creator, may He be Blessed, with complete service. And because of this love for all others, he finds favor in the eyes of all who observe him, and his good deeds will be welcomed by all and everyone will long to do as he does.
"Help with his money" means that he should loan to the rich when the rich need funds, and similarly, he should loan to the poor in the time of their distress, and remember the poor with a gift in accordance with his ability to give, and in extreme cases he should send portions and gifts also to the rich. And he should be liberal and open-handed out of his substance. If he has dealings with people every transaction must be in complete faith and honesty, and he should not be strict with his companion in small matters. He should always desire that his companion should receive some joy or gain from him and let him not try to gain profit out of his companion. And let his words be gentle with all people. If a man has shamed him, let him not shame his abuser. If a man has deceived him, let him not deceive his deceiver. Let him bear upon his neck the yoke of the world, and let him not cause trouble to others. Let him avoid argument with others and let him welcome everyone with joy and with a smiling countenance, for his welcome reception strengthens love. And he must deal with another for the other's good. He must comfort and try to help every man out of his grief and worry. If someone has revealed a secret to him he must not reveal it to others even if the man who told him the secret enrages him. He must never speak evil of a person nor listen when others speak evil of anyone, and he should always try to find something good and pure in a person wherever this is possible, and in this connection he must be most earnest and careful. Then he will surely be loved by all. He must honor every man by his deeds and his words, and let him not vaunt himself over any person at all, but let him be humble before every man. And all of these things he must do with the intent to serve God. And he must be careful to avoid the companionship of people that are not respectable, so that he will not learn from their deeds, and he must always separate himself from cynics and scoffers.
And the wise man said to his son, "If it should occur to you to make friends or companions, then make friends with a wise person as it is written: 'He that walks with the wise shall be wise' (Prov. 13:20). And it is said: 'Give knowledge to a wise man and he will be yet wiser' (Prov. 9:9). And so if you wish to grow in wisdom be a companion to the wise, for if you do act wisely your wise friend will praise you and not question your wisdom, and then you will know that you can rely on your wisdom. If they honor him, he will honor you; if they praise him, he will praise you. If you need his help, he will help you, and in the things you say he will declare you to be in the right. If you grow angry he will have patience with you, and you will learn from his good deeds. And be a companion to every person from whom you can learn things that will bring you to the Service of God, Blessed may He be!" And the Sages said, "If you wish to become a friend of a man get him angry with you and if he will still admit and confess the truth of what you say even in his wrath then become his companion and friend. If not, leave him. But, when you choose a friend, choose one who knows his own worth, for if he does not know himself his wisdom is of no good. Acquire a friend who will rebuke you when you do something that is not proper and who will teach you to do the good, and who will help you with his might and money — and such a friend will be faithful. But a friend who flatters you and smooths over your mistakes and errors and comforts you when you have done evil things — separate yourself from such a one.
And similarly a friend who will take from you whatever he needs and cause you much harm for the little benefit he will gain from the transaction — quickly turn away from such a friend. And do not make friends with those who "go along with the crowd" and who always agree that there is an injustice, as it is said, "Do not say 'Conspiracy!' just because this people says 'Conspiracy!' " (Is. 8:12).
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וְאָסוּר לְהִתְחַבֵּר עִם רָשָׁע בְּעִסְקֵי הָעוֹלָם, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (דברי הימים ב כ לז): ״בְּהִתְחַבֶּרְךָ עִם אֲחַזְיָהוּ, פָּרַץ יְיָ אֶת מַעֲשֶׂיךָ״.
And it is forbidden to associate with a wicked man in business or social or community affairs, as it is said: "Because you have joined yourself with Ahaziah the Lord has made a breach in your works!" (II Chron. 20:37).
And even in fulfilling a commandment it is forbidden to join with the wicked, as it is said: "Do not envy the man of violence and do not choose any of his ways" (Prov. 3:31). And the sages said: "Do not join with the wicked even in fulfilling a command" (Aboth de R. Nathan, chap. a), and many are the ways that lead to death when one is in the companionship of the wicked.
And if a man is careful in guarding himself from these things and if his words are gentle with all people and he is pleasant and sociable with them, is abused by them but does not abuse them, honors them — even those who make light of him — and deals with every person honestly and does not spend too much time in the gatherings of the ignorant and their parties, and is not seen flitting about, but occupies himself with Torah, wrapped in his fringed Tallit and crowned with his Tefillin, and does more than is required of him by the letter of the law, but at the same time, does not separate himself utterly from the community and make himself a hermit, and if as a result of his behavior every one will praise him and love him and long to emulate his deeds — such a person sanctifies the Name of God and about him Scripture says! "And he said to me 'You are my servant Israel through whom I will be glorified' " (Is. 49:3).
And the love of long life should be in this manner — that he should love the days of his life not for eating and drinking and the frivolous pleasures of life, but he should think, "The work of following the Torah and its commandments is exceedingly great, and if the length of my life were doubled and redoubled many times over I would not be able to complete the requirements of the Torah and reach the heights and goals set by the Torah through which a true servant of God pleases his Master." And in this manner he will truly love the days of his life for with them he acquires the means of serving the Creator, Blessed be He, with purest reverence, and love, and he thus acquires provisions in this fleeting world which he can convey to the world to come, and he can acquire in the transitory world and its vanishing days a world that will endure and a joy that will never, never cease. And he will always fear death for this reason only — that perhaps he has not attained the limits of the perfection that lie in his power to attain. And every day he will increase love and reverence for God.
But a life that has no reverence of God in it cannot be called life. And a person should be disgusted with and reject a life that is against the will of the Creator, may He be Blessed, as is said of Rebecca: "And Rebecca said to Isaac, 'I am weary of my life because of the daughters of Heth. If Jacob takes a wife of the daughters of Heth, such as these daughters of the land, then of what good is my life to me?' " (Gen. 27:46). Therefore, in a place where there is desecration of God's Name he should not worry about his life and always let his heart be ready to surrender himself for the Sanctification of God's Name in all of the commandments, be they light or of great importance.
Love of honor is very bad, therefore a man should separate himself far from the love of honor with all his might. And if a man should separate himself from two things — the love of honor and receiving of pleasure by the adultation and gifts of others, then he will be near to all the good virtues, for the love of honor spoils all good deeds, for in the things he does he has in mind to be honored, and even if he does not care about honor but seeks to receive gain from others by his good deeds, then all of his deeds are spoiled because his heart always inclines him to make profit out of everything. Therefore he must put it in his heart to distance himself from honor and also from getting benefits from others through his good deeds.
But, there are times when it is a good deed to pursue honor, as when he is a righteous and wise man and people hold him cheaply and make fun of him because of his good deeds and because of this his words are disdained and not listened to. Then if it is in his power to compel men to do him honor and listen to his rebukes, it is commendable to pursue honor in order to correct and rebuke the people. Similarly, if people have shamed him publicly he should not forgive them until they have entreated and appeased him. But in most cases he must go away from honor and flee from it. Did not the Sages say: "Jealousy, lust and the pursuit of honor take a man out of this world" (Aboth 4:28). And a man ought not to learn or to do any good thing in order to be honored, but should do the good deed for the sake of the Creator, may He be Blessed, and in the end the honor will come.
As for the love of pleasure, such as eating, drinking and sleeping, know that man must direct his heart and all his deeds only to know the Lord, Blessed is He. So a man's sitting, arising and his speech should all be centered on this. How? When he does business or works at a job for pay, let there not be in his heart the thought of gathering money for its own sake; but to do so in order that he may secure the things his body needs — food, drink, a dwelling place, and marriage. And when he does eat, drink and enjoy connubial pleasures, he should not put it in his heart to do these things solely for his pleasure until he is not able to eat and drink anything except the foods that are sweet to his palate, and he marries only for pleasure. But he must put it into his heart that he must eat for the health of his body and limbs. Therefore, he should not eat everything the palate longs for as does a dog or a donkey, but should eat those foods which are good for the body, whether they be bitter or sweet. And he should not eat things which are bad for the body even if they are sweet to the taste. He must accustom himself to this habit and determine in his heart that his body shall be completely well and strong, in order that his soul may be upright and firm to know the Lord, may He be Blessed. For it is impossible for him to understand and grow wise in the Torah and commandments if he is hungry or sick or one of his limbs pains him. Therefore it is not good to fast always, lest his strength grow weak and his intelligence grow less. Therefore he should arrange and direct all his matters to the service of the Creator, may He be Blessed. If he fills his stomach then he may grow heavy in body, and if he eats too little he will be weak, so it would be good for you to have less of the trimmings at a meal and depend on one dish if you can, and let that suffice for you in modest quantity. Intend that this food shall reach your stomach for the sake of nourishing you and not merely to delight your taste, and accustom your appetite on a few occasions to do without delicacies, so as to discipline your nature so that it will be easy for you when you cannot obtain these foods. If possible, abandon those foods or dishes which take much time and trouble to prepare and let your meals during the day be lighter than your evening meal, and accustom yourself to eating twice a day so that the functioning of your limbs may be light and easy and in this way your studies of the Torah will come easier. And accustom yourself to drink water unless your intention is to drink wine for your health's sake, or to drive away worry, and be very careful not to drink too much wine for it saturates and washes away Torah.
This is the general rule that should always remain with you: A man should not satisfy all of his desires in eating and drinking, but he should eat and drink enough to keep his body in a healthy state and should refrain from reaching for a surplus of food. A man should not love this world for the sake of eating, drinking and having pleasure. For example, the wise man says: "I will eat in order to live." And the statement of the fool is "I will live in order to eat." On this subject it is said: "The righteous eat to the point of satisfying their desire, but the stomach of the wicked is always wanting no matter how much they eat" (Prov. 13:25).
And so with a man who marries. Let him be mindful that this is in obedience to Divine command, that he should fulfill the command of "Be fruitful and multiply" and that he should have children who will serve the Lord, may He be Blessed, and revere God. Or he should be mindful that he satisfies his desires and quiets his passion with his wife and is therefore not tempted by other women, or to be considerate of his wife when he senses that she longs for his embrace so that she be not tempted by other men, or he may have regard to the health of his body which requires normal sex habits for its health. But he who indulges too frequently will suffer many ills.
He who walks in the path described above serves the Lord, may He Be Blessed, always, even when he is engaged in doing business, even when he lives with his wife, for his intention is to fulfill his bodily needs so that he can serve God, Blessed be He. And even when he sleeps, if he sleeps, so that his mind will be refreshed and his body rested, so that he does not become ill and therefore not be able to serve the Lord, Blessed is He, because of his illness — that sleep with this intent is considered service to God, Blessed be He. And on this subject our Sages commanded and said: "Let all your deeds be for the sake of Heaven (God)" (Aboth 2:17). And this is what Solomon said in his wisdom: "In all thy ways, know Him and He will direct your paths" (Prov. 3:6).
Let a man abandon all other loves and cleave to love of the Creator, Blessed be He. For the Love of God, Blessed be He, is the goal of all good qualities, and the final purpose of all worthy traits in the ladder of ascent of all men who serve God and of those with generous souls among men of kindness and mercy and of the Prophets and the Pharisees — yes, this is the ultimate goal and there is no goal that is higher than this.
Many times the Torah sets fear of God before love of Him, as it is said: "And now O Israel, what does the Lord your God ask of you except to revere and to love Him" (Deut. 10:12). And since the love of fellow men is the goal of all who separate themselves in order to lead holy lives and this love is the closest rung to the rung of the love of God, in the ladder of our upward climb, love of God must be more than the love of a man for mankind. And a man can reach that highest rung only through fear and reverence of God. That is why reverence or fear in the verse referred to precedes love of God.
And what is this love? It is the yearning of the soul and its own upward inclination towards the Creator, may He be exalted, in order that it may cleave to His highest illumination and light. This soul is the source of knowledge and is clean and pure and the Creator binds her in the body for His desire is great to try her and see if she will go in the ways of the Lord. And because man is clothed in a body which was created with the nature of animals there is not sufficient power in the soul created by God to have in constant mind her Creator, for she is mingled with all fleshly desire of the body. And all the days of man's petty strivings he seeks nothing and asks nothing but the gratification of his lusts, and his hunger for pleasures of this world which is a world of vanity and falsehood, and because of his desire to gather much wealth, there is no strength in the soul to keep in mind the Creator, may He be Blessed, for the soul is clothed in frivolous nothings. But after the soul senses that it can aspire to something nobler by itself without the participation of the body, then she longs to seek rest from the ills of the body as the sick person earnestly seeks a doctor. And when the soul is healed from its illnesses then she possesses light in her very self and strength in her spirit, and the soul is then truly filled with love and this love is bound up with joy. And this joy causes the pleasures of the body, and delight in mere physical life to flee from his heart, and that joy is strong and is in control of his heart, and all the pleasures of the world are as nothing compared with the mighty joy in the Lord, Blessed is He. And all his love and delight at the playing of his children are as though they had never been when compared with the mighty joy in the Lord, Blessed is He.
And with all his thoughts he should meditate how to do the will of the Creator, and purify the many others to do likewise, and to sanctify the Name of God and to surrender himself completely in the love of God, Blessed be He. And this is the love of God, Blessed is He, that is written in the Torah, as in the case of Phineas who risked his life for the sake of the Creator, may He be Blessed (Num. 25), and as in the case of Abraham, our father, who said: "I have lifted my hand to the Lord, the most High God, Creator of heaven and earth, that I will not take from a thread or a shoestring nor will I take anything of yours" (Gen. 14:22-23). And, as in the case of Elisha who did not wish to take anything from Naaman (II Kings 5:16).
And a man ought not to waste his time away from Torah because he loves to sport and play with his children, or enjoys much visiting and conversation. And he also ought to avoid promenading about. But let him sing sweet hymns so that he fill his heart with the joy of the love of God, Blessed is He.
He who serves God out of love occupies himself with the Torah and the Commandments, and walks in the paths of wisdom. Have you seen how he will carry out all the mitzvoth out of love and how he will love God, Blessed be He with a great love, for no worldly reason — not out of fear of evil befalling him, and not out of expectation of good resulting from his conduct, but doing the true deed because it is true, and the good will come in the end. This virtue is very great indeed and not every man can attain it. And this was the virtue of Abraham our father, whom the Holy One, Blessed is He, called "My loving friend" (Is. 41:8) for he served God only out of love. This is the quality that the Holy One, Blessed be He, commanded us to attain through Moses our Teacher, upon him is peace, as is said: "And you shall love the Lord, your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might" (Deut. 6:5). And when a man loves the Lord, Blessed is He, with the proper love, he will, at once, do all the commandments out of love.
And what is "the proper love"? It is that he must love the Lord with a great, mighty and supreme love until his very soul is bound up in the love of the Lord, may He be Blessed, and he is in the ecstasy of that love always, as though he were love sick and his mind cannot for a moment be free, as when a man is infatuated with a woman, and he thinks of her with constant ecstasy, where sitting, rising, eating or drinking. Even more than this must the love of the Lord, Blessed be He, be in the heart of those who love him, ecstatic with longing for Him, as He commanded: "with all your heart and with all your soul" (Ibid.). And this is what Solomon said by way of a parable in the song of Songs: "For I am love sick" (2:5) and the entire Song of Songs is a parable of this love of God.
It is clear and well known that the love for the Holy One, Blessed be He, is not securely bound in the heart of a man until he feels its ecstasy constantly as indeed he should, and he forsakes all else in the world outside of it as He commanded and said "With all your heart and with all your soul" (Deut. 6:5). And he loves the Holy One, Blessed be He, through knowing His ways and according to his knowledge of God is his love whether it be little or great. Therefore, a man must concentrate on understanding and grasping mentally those wisdoms and insights which make him know his Creator as much as it lies within the power of man to understand and attain.
God glorious and awesome — it is a command to love and revere Him, as it is said: "And you shall love the Lord your God" (Ibid.), and it is further said: "The Lord your God you shall revere" (Ibid: 13). And this is the way to attain to love of the Lord, Blessed is He : When a person contemplates the great and wondrous works and creations and sees from them how God's wisdom is unparalleled, and infinite, he, at once, loves God, Blessed be He, and praises and extols Him and is filled with a great longing to know His Great Name, as David said "My soul thirsts for God — for the living God" (Ps. 42:3). And when he considers these things profoundly he immediately trembles and is startled, he is fearful and terrified, and he realizes that he is a small, lowly, obscure creature, standing with his little, finite mind before the Perfect in All Knowledge, as David said: "When I behold Thy Heavens, the work of Thy fingers, the moon and the stars which Thou hast established, what is man that Thou art mindful of him?" (Ibid. 8:4-5).
And when a man contemplates these great and marvelous things and comes to recognize all God's creatures from angel to planets sweeping through their orbs [and man] and he perceives something of the wisdom of the Holy One Blessed be He in all formed and created things and beings, he increases his love for God, Blessed be He, and his soul will thirst and his flesh yearn to love the Omnipresent, Blessed be He, and he is awed and fearful at his own low, poor and slight status when he compares himself with any one of the holy bodies which the Lord, Blessed is He, has created.
And in another place in Scripture it is said: "One that feared God" (Job 1:1), and the Sages explained this, to mean that he feared the punishment of Heaven, of Gehenna, and the punishments of this world as well (Sotah 27b and 31a). And this quality is very far from true love for God. For a man should fear the Lord, may He be Blessed, like a man who loves his wife and she loves him and he fears to do anything against her lest he forfeit her love. So is this — and such is the meaning of the word Reshăfihă it's (love's) flames — the flames of the fire of love for the Creator may He be Exalted. Let a person fear to transgress God's commands lest he lose the love of the Creator, may He be Blessed.
And this is what is meant: "Serve the Lord with fear" (Ps. 2:11) — the fear of losing His love" and rejoice with trembling out of this great fear of losing the love of the Creator, rejoice that you have the opportunity to do His will.
And such a love cannot endure except in one who resolves to perform all the commandments according to their proper requirements, for one who does not know the commandments which the Creator of All commanded him to observe, cannot be called a true lover of God. Therefore, should a man love everything which brings him closer to love for the Creator, Blessed be He, and Blessed be His Name. And he who does so — it is well for him in this world and in the world to come.
שַׁעַר הַחֲמִישִׁי – שַׁעַר הָאַהֲבָה
Chapter Five: ON LOVE
הָאַהֲבָה כּוֹלֶלֶת מַעֲשִׂים רַבִּים יוֹתֵר מִכָּל הַמִּדּוֹת. וּבְעֵת שֶׁיָּשִׂים הָאָדָם אַהֲבָתוֹ לְרָעָה – אֵין מִדָּה רָעָה בְּכָל הַמִּדּוֹת כָּמוֹהָ. וּכְשֶׁיָּשִׂים הָאָדָם אַהֲבָתוֹ לְטוֹבָה, הִיא לְמַעְלָה מִכָּל הַמִּדּוֹת, כְּדִכְתִיב (דברים ו ה): ״וְאָהַבְתָּ אֵת יְיָ אֱלֹהֶיךָ״ – וְאֵין מַעֲלָה בַּעֲבוֹדַת הַבּוֹרֵא יוֹתֵר מִמִּי שֶׁעוֹבֵד מֵאַהֲבָה.
The quality of love involves more deeds than all the other qualities. And when a man uses the quality of love for evil there is not a single quality so evil. But when a man uses the quality of his love for good, then that quality is higher than all others, as it is written : "And you shall love the Lord your God" (Deut. 6:5). And there is no greater virtue in the Service of the Creator than he who serves Him out of love.
וְעַתָּה שְׁמַע אֵיךְ הָאַהֲבָה מְקַלְקֶלֶת הַמַּעֲשִׂים, בְּעֵת שֶׁיַּגְבִּיר אַהֲבָתוֹ עַל חָכְמָתוֹ. כִּי כַּמָּה מִינֵי אֲהָבוֹת זוֹ מְשֻׁנָּה מִזּוֹ: הָאַהֲבָה הָאַחַת: הָאָדָם אוֹהֵב אֶת בָּנָיו. וּמֵרֹב הָאַהֲבָה אֵינוֹ מְיַסְּרָם וּמַדְרִיכָם לְדֶרֶךְ טוֹבָה, וּמַנִּיחָם לָלֶכֶת בִּשְׁרִירוּת לִבָּם הָרָע, וּמִזֶּה יָבוֹא הֶזֵּק גָּדוֹל.
And now listen how love can spoil good deeds when his love is stronger than his wisdom. For there are all sorts of different kinds of love. One love is the love of a man for his children, and because of his great love, he may not correct them and guide them to the good path, and he permits them to go in the obstinacy of their evil hearts, and out of this can come great harm.
הָאַהֲבָה הַשְּׁנִיָּה: אַהֲבַת מָמוֹן. וּמֵרֹב תְּשׁוּקָתוֹ אֶל הַמָּמוֹן – לֹא יִהְיֶה מַשָּׂא וּמַתָּן שֶׁלּוֹ בֶּאֱמוּנָה, וְחוֹמֵד וְעוֹשֵׁק וְגוֹזֵל כְּדֵי לְהַרְבּוֹת הוֹן. וּמֵרֹב חֶמְדַּת הָעֹשֶׁר יִקְפֹּץ יָדוֹ מִן הַצְּדָקָה, וְיִהְיֶה צַר עַיִן.
The second love is the love for money, and because of his great desire for money, his business dealings may not be honest and he covets, plunders, and robs, in order to amass wealth. And because of his great longing for wealth he closes his hand from giving alms and is miserly.
הָאַהֲבָה הַשְּׁלִישִׁית: אַהֲבַת נָשִׁים. וְאִם תִּהְיֶה לוֹ אִשָּׁה רָעָה בַּעֲלַת גַּאֲוָה, הִיא תָּסִיר מִלִּבּוֹ כָּל הַמִּצְווֹת, וְהִיא תִּמְשְׁכֵהוּ אַחֲרֶיהָ. וּמֵרֹב הָאַהֲבָה אֵינוֹ מֵעֵז פָּנָיו נֶגְדָּהּ וְשׁוֹמֵעַ לַעֲצָתָהּ, וְהִיא תְּבִיאֵהוּ לִידֵי מַעֲלָלִים רָעִים. וְגַם מֵרֹב אַהֲבָתוֹ בַּנָּשִׁים יִסְתַּכֵּל בָּהֶן תָּדִיר, וְיָבוֹא לִידֵי נִאוּף.
The third love is the love of men for their wives. And if a man has a bad wife — conceited and self-centered — she may remove from his heart the desire to fulfill the commandments and draw him after her. And because of his great love for her he is not firm with her and listens to her counsel, and she can bring him to evil acts. And it can also happen that a man, because of his great love of women, will gaze at them constantly and speak disgraceful things and come to immoral conduct.
הָאַהֲבָה הָרְבִיעִית הִיא אַהֲבַת קְרוֹבָיו: אָבִיו וְאִמּוֹ, אֶחָיו וְאַחְיוֹתָיו וּשְׁאָר קְרוֹבָיו, וְרֵעָיו וַחֲבֵרָיו. וּמִתּוֹךְ אַהֲבָתָם יְסַיֵּעַ לָהֶם בְּמַחֲלָקְתָּם, וְלֹא יְדַקְדֵּק אִם הֵם פָּשְׁעוּ בְּבַעֲלֵי הַמַּחֲלֹקֶת; אַךְ לְעוֹלָם יַעֲזֹר וּמֵגֵן וּמְכַסֶּה עֲלֵיהֶן, וְאַף אִם פָּרְצוּ פְּרָצוֹת רַבּוֹת יָגֵן עֲלֵיהֶם. וְגַם שׁוֹמֵעַ לַעֲצָתָם, וְאַף אִם הָעֵצָה הַהִיא אֵינָהּ טוֹבָה – לֹא יָסוּר מִדִּבְרֵיהֶם. וְגַם יִרְצֶה לְהַעֲלוֹתָם לְמַעֲלוֹת שֶׁאֵינָן רְאוּיוֹת לָהֶן, כְּגוֹן לַעֲשׂוֹתָם מוֹשְׁלִים וּפַרְנָסֵי הַדּוֹר, וְלִהְיוֹת רוֹדִים בָּעָם, וַאֲפִלּוּ אִם הֵם רְשָׁעִים – לֹא יָחוּשׁ בָּזֶה. וְהִנֵּה הָאַהֲבָה מְעַוֶּרֶת עֵינָיו וּמַחֲרֶשֶׁת אָזְנָיו, וְיֵשׁ בָּזֶה קִלְקוּל גָּדוֹל, כִּי הֵם יַטְעוּ אֶת הָעוֹלָם לְהַבְלֵיהֶם.
The fourth love is the love of a man for his relatives — his father and his mother, his brothers and his sisters and the rest of his kind, friends and companions, and because of his love for them he helps them in their quarrels, and does not feel, nor does he ascertain whether or not his relatives did wrong against the other party of the quarrel, but always helps, protects and shelters them. And even if they have broken forth into wild and boisterous conduct, he protects them. And he may even listen to their advice, and even if the advice is not good he will not turn away from their words. He may even want to raise them to positions for which they are not fitted — for example, to make them rulers and leaders of their generations, to dominate and govern the people. And even if they are wicked, he does not sense it, for love blinds his eyes and makes deaf his ears, and there is, in this nepotism, great damage, for they will cause others to go astray in this same folly.
הָאַהֲבָה הַחֲמִישִׁית הִיא אַהֲבַת אֹרֶךְ יָמִים. וּמֵרֹב שֶׁהוּא אוֹהֵב אֶת הַחַיּוּת – לֹא יַעֲמֹד בְּנִסָּיוֹן.
The fifth love is the love for long life, and because he loves mere existence so much he will not stand up in a trial that involves danger.
הָאַהֲבָה הַשִּׁשִּׁית הִיא אַהֲבַת הַכָּבוֹד. וְהָאוֹהֵב אֶת הַכָּבוֹד לֹא יִהְיוּ מַעֲשָׂיו לְשֵׁם שָׁמַיִם, כִּי בְּכָל הַמִּצְווֹת שֶׁיַּעֲשֶׂה, אוֹ יִתֵּן צְדָקָה אוֹ עוֹסֵק בַּתּוֹרָה אוֹ בִּשְׁאָר מִצְווֹת – תִּהְיֶה מַחְשַׁבְתּוֹ וְכַוָּנָתוֹ אַחַר הַשֶּׁבַח וְהַכָּבוֹד, וְחָפֵץ שֶׁיִּתְּנוּ לוֹ כָּבוֹד וּגְדֻלָּה. וְזֶה הֶפְסֵד גָּדוֹל בְּמַעֲשֵׂה הָעֲבוֹדָה, וַאֲפִלּוּ מִי שֶׁיֵּשׁ בּוֹ תּוֹרָה וּמַעֲשִׂים טוֹבִים – הַכָּבוֹד מוֹצִיאוֹ מִן הָעוֹלָם. כָּל שֶׁכֵּן מִי שֶׁאֵין בּוֹ תּוֹרָה וּמַעֲשִׂים טוֹבִים, וְרוֹדֵף אַחַר הַכָּבוֹד, שֶׁכַּמָּה מַעֲשָׂיו מְגֻנִּים.
The sixth love is the love of honor, and he who loves honor will not do his good deeds for the sake of God, but in all the commandments, or good deeds he does — whether it be philanthropy or studying or supporting Torah, or the value of the commandments, his thoughts and intentions will be fixed on receiving praise and honor and he will want people to give him a crown and greatness, and this is a great flaw in the Service of God. Even he who has great knowledge of the Torah and many good deeds — the pursuit of honor removes him from the world. How much uglier is the pursuit of honor by one who is devoid of Torah and good deeds.
וְעוֹד יֵשׁ אַהֲבָה שְׁבִיעִית, שֶׁהִיא רָעָה עַל כָּל הָאֲהָבוֹת, וְהִיא אַהֲבַת תַּעֲנוּגִים וְתַפְנוּקִים: כְּגוֹן אֲכִילָה וּשְׁתִיָּה, וּשְׁאָר הֲנָאוֹת כְּגוֹן זְנוּת וְטִיּוּלִים. וְאֵין צָרִיךְ לְהַאֲרִיךְ בָּזֶה הָעִנְיָן, כִּי הָאוֹהֵב יַיִן וּמִשְׁתַּכֵּר, וְאוֹכֵל תָּמִיד מַעֲדַנִּים, וְהוֹלֵךְ לְבֵית הַמִּשְׁתֶּה תָּדִיר – הוּא יִשְׁכַּח בּוֹרְאוֹ, כְּדִכְתִיב (דברים כא טו-טז): ״וְאָכַלְתָּ וְשָׂבָעְתָּ; הִשָּׁמְרוּ לָכֶם פֶּן יִפְתֶּה לְבַבְכֶם, וְסַרְתֶּם וַעֲבַדְתֶּם...״; וּכְתִיב (שם לב טו): ״וַיִּשְׁמַן יְשֻׁרוּן וַיִּבְעָט״.
And there is a seventh love — which is the worst of all loves — and that is the love of pleasure and amusement — like eating, drinking, and other pleasures of the senses like immoral conduct and pleasure excursions. And it is not necessary to dwell on this matter because he who loves wine to the point of drunkenness and eats only the daintiest of foods and goes constantly to parties and feasts will undoubtedly forget his Creator, as it is written: "And (when) you shall eat and drink … guard yourself lest you forget the Lord" (Deut. 6:11-12). "And (when) you shall eat and be satisfied … guard yourself lest your heart be deceived and you turn aside and serve other gods" (Ibid. 11:15-16). And it is written: "But where Jeshurun grew fat he kicked" (Ibid., 32:15).
הָרוֹצֶה לְהִמָּלֵט מִפַּח יָקוּשׁ כָּל הָאֲהָבוֹת הָאֵלֶּה, צָרִיךְ חָכְמָה גְּדוֹלָה וְאֹמֶץ רַב פֶּן יִלָּכֵד בִּשְׁחִיתוֹתָם. כִּי כָּל הָאֲהָבוֹת הָאֵלֶּה מַקִּיפוֹת אֶת לֵב הָאָדָם, וְאִם יִדְחֶה אַהֲבָה אַחַת אוֹ שְׁתַּיִם מִקִּרְבּוֹ – עֲדַיִן הָאֲהָבוֹת הַנִּשְׁאָרוֹת יִרְדְּפוּהוּ מֵאוֹר אֵל חֹשֶׁךְ. עַל כֵּן יֵשׁ לְלַמֶּדְךָ, שֶׁתִּהְיֶה זָהִיר וְזָרִיז לְהִשְׁתַּמֵּשׁ בְּכָל הָאֲהָבוֹת הָאֵלֶּה, לָדַעַת בָּהֶם דַּרְכֵי הַשֵּׁם בָּרוּךְ הוּא, כְּעִנְיָן שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (משלי ג ו): ״בְּכָל דְּרָכֶיךָ דָּעֵהוּ״.
He who wishes to escape from the fowler's net of all these loves will need great wisdom and much courage, lest he be caught in their pit for all of these various loves surround the heart of a person, and if he succeeds in thrusting away one or two of these loves from within him, then will the remaining loves still thrust him from the light to the darkness. Therefore it is necessary to teach you that you should be careful and alert as to how to deal with all of these loves and always be mindful in combatting them of the ways of the Lord, Blessed is He, according to the tenor of what is said: "In all your paths know Him (Prov. 3:6).
אַהֲבַת בָּנָיו תִּהְיֶה עַל דֶּרֶךְ זֶה: שֶׁיַּחְשֹׁב לְהַדְרִיךְ בָּנָיו בְּדַרְכֵי הַמִּשְׁפָּט, וּלְלַמְּדָם מַעֲשֵׂה עֲבוֹדַת הַשֵּׁם בָּרוּךְ הוּא, וּלְצַוּוֹת אַחֲרָיו לַעֲבֹד אֶת הַשֵּׁם בָּרוּךְ הוּא, כְּעִנְיָן שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (ישעיהו לח יט): ״אָב לְבָנִים יוֹדִיעַ אֶל אֲמִתֶּךָ״; וּכְתִיב (דברים ד ט): ״וְהוֹדַעְתָּם לְבָנֶיךָ וְלִבְנֵי בָנֶיךָ״. וּכְמוֹ שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר בְּאַבְרָהָם (בראשית יח יט): ״כִּי יְדַעְתִּיו, לְמַעַן אֲשֶׁר יְצַוֶּה אֶת בָּנָיו וְאֶת בֵּיתוֹ אַחֲרָיו״.
A real love for one's children must be in this path — that he thinks always to guide his children in the paths of Justice, and teach them the manner of serving God. Blessed is He, according to what is said: "The father shall make known to the children Thy truth" (Is. 38:19). And it is written: "And you shall make known (the lessons of Sinai) to your children and your children's children" (Deut. 4:9). And, as it is said concerning Abraham, "For I know him to the end that he should command his children and his household after him" (Gen. 18:19).
וְאַהֲבַת הַמָּמוֹן תִּהְיֶה עַל דֶּרֶךְ זֶה: יֹאהַב מָמוֹנוֹ לְמַעַן אֲשֶׁר לֹא יַחְמֹד מָמוֹן אֲחֵרִים, וְלֹא יִצְטָרֵךְ לִגְנֹב וְלִגְזוֹל; וְלֹא יִצְטָרֵךְ לְקַבֵּל צְדָקָה, אַךְ מִשֶּׁלּוֹ יְפַרְנֵס אֲחֵרִים, וְיַלְבִּישׁ עֲנִיִּים וְיַאֲכִילֵם, וְיַחֲזִיק בְּמָמוֹנוֹ לוֹמְדֵי תּוֹרָה יִרְאֵי הַשֵּׁם. וְגַם מֵחֲמַת עָשְׁרוֹ יְפַנֶּה עַצְמוֹ מֵעִסְקֵי הָעוֹלָם הַזֶּה, וְיִקְבַּע עִתִּים לַתּוֹרָה וּלְקַיֵּם הַמִּצְווֹת, הוֹאִיל וְיֵשׁ סִפֵּק בְּיָדוֹ. וְלֹא יִבְטַח בְּרוֹב חֵילוֹ לְהִתְגָּאוֹת, אַךְ יִקְנֶה בְּמָמוֹנוֹ הַכָּלֶה חַיֵּי הָעוֹלָם הַבָּא שֶׁאֵינוֹ כָּלֶה, וְעַל זֶה הַדֶּרֶךְ יֹאהַב מָמוֹנוֹ.
And love of money should be in this manner: — that he should love his own money in order not to covet the money of others, and not find it necessary to steal, rob, or be compelled to receive alms, but shall able to provide for others out of his own, and clothe the poor and feed them, and strengthen with his money those who study the Torah and revere the Lord. And, also, because of his money, he can free himself from many involvements in this material world and set definite times for Torah and the fulfillment of God's commands, inasmuch as he has sufficient for his material needs. But he should not find security in his great wealth and vaunt himself with it but should purchase with his transitory wealth the eternal life of the world to come.
וְאַהֲבַת נָשִׁים תִּהְיֶה עַל דֶּרֶךְ זֶה: שֶׁיַּחְשֹׁב שֶׁהִיא מַצִּילָתוֹ מִן הַחֵטְא וּמְרַחַקְתּוֹ מִן הַנִּאוּף, וּבָהּ מְקַיֵּם מִצְוַת פְּרִיָּה וּרְבִיָּה, וְהִיא מְגַדֶּלֶת אֶת בָּנָיו. וְהִיא עוֹבֶדֶת לוֹ כָּל יָמֶיהָ, וּמְכִינָה לוֹ מַאֲכָלָיו וּשְׁאָר צָרְכֵי הַבַּיִת. וּמִתּוֹךְ כָּךְ יִהְיֶה פָּנוּי לִלְמֹד תּוֹרָה וְלַעֲסֹק בַּמִּצְווֹת, וְהִיא עוֹזֶרֶת לוֹ לַעֲבוֹדַת הַבּוֹרֵא יִתְבָּרַךְ.
And the love of a wife should be in this manner — that he should have it in mind that his wife saves him from sin and separates him far from immoral conduct, and, through his wife he fulfills the command of "Be fruitful and multiply," and it is his wife that raises his children and she works for him all her days, and prepares his food and all the other needs of the household, and because of her devotion and work he has time to study Torah and concern himself with God's commands, and thus she aids him to serve the Creator, may His Name be Blessed.
וְאַהֲבַת אָבִיו וְאִמּוֹ תִּהְיֶה עַל דֶּרֶךְ זֶה: שֶׁיַּחְשֹׁב שֶׁגִּדְּלוּהוּ, וְטָרְחוּ בּוֹ לְלַמְּדוֹ דַּרְכֵי הַשֵּׁם יִתְבָּרַךְ, וְהוֹרוּהוּ וְחִנְּכוּהוּ לַתּוֹרָה וְלַמִּצְווֹת. וּבָהֶם יְקַיֵּם מִצְווֹת הַבּוֹרֵא יִתְבָּרַךְ, כְּדִכְתִיב (שמות כ יב): ״כַּבֵּד אֶת אָבִיךָ וְאֶת אִמֶּךָ״.
And love for father and mother should be in this manner — that he should be ever mindful that they reared him and exerted themselves to teach him the ways of the Lord, may He be Blessed, and instructed him and educated him as to Torah and Commandments, and it is through them that he can fulfill the command of the Creator, may He be Blessed, as it is written: "Honor your father and your mother" (Exod. 20:12).
וְאֶחָיו וְאַחְיוֹתָיו וּשְׁאָר קְרוֹבָיו יֹאהַב עַל דֶּרֶךְ זֶה: שֶׁהֵם עוֹסְקִים בּוֹ לַהֲבִיאוֹ לְמַעֲלוֹת טוֹבוֹת, וְהֵם מְסַיְּעִים אוֹתוֹ לַעֲבוֹדַת הַבּוֹרֵא יִתְבָּרַךְ. וְהוּא יַעֲסֹק בָּהֶם לְלַמְּדָם וּלְהוֹכִיחָם, וְלֹא יִשָּׂא לָהֶם פָּנִים, וּבָזֶה יֵשׁ לוֹ שָׂכָר וְהִיא מִדָּה גְּדוֹלָה, כְּדִכְתִיב (תהלים טו ג): ״וְחֶרְפָּה לֹא נָשָׂא עַל קְרֹבוֹ״.
And his brothers, sisters and other relatives he should love in this manner — that he should assume and have it in mind that they are attempting to bring him to virtues that are dedicated to the service of the Creator, may He be Blessed, and that he should similarly interest himself in them to teach them and correct them and not show them many special privileges or partiality in a matter involving others. For this there is great reward for him, since this fair conduct is a great virtue, as it is written: "And he has not done a shameful thing to favor his relative" (Ps. 15:3).
וְהַרְבֵּה תּוֹעֶלֶת יֵשׁ לוֹ לָאָדָם בִּקְרוֹבָיו, כַּדֶּרֶךְ שֶׁמָּצִינוּ בְּלוֹט, אֲשֶׁר הִצִּילוֹ אַבְרָהָם וְנִלְחַם עֲבוּרוֹ; וְגַם בִּסְדוֹם נִצַּל בִּזְכוּת אַבְרָהָם.
And there is much advantage to a man in his relatives, as we found in the case of Lot whom Abraham, his uncle, saved from the warring kings, and fought for his sake, and also from the destruction of Sodom, Lot was saved because of the merit of Abraham.
וְיֹאהַב רֵעָיו וּשְׁאָר כָּל יִשְׂרָאֵל אַהֲבָה שְׁלֵמָה, לְקַיֵּם מָה שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (ויקרא יט יח): ״וְאָהַבְתָּ לְרֵעֲךָ כָּמוֹךָ״. וְזֶהוּ כְּלָל גָּדוֹל בַּתּוֹרָה: דַּעֲלָךְ סָנֵי – לְחַבְרָךְ לָא תַּעֲבֵד (שבת לא א). וְגָדוֹל מִזֶּה (בראשית ט ו): ״כִּי בְּצֶלֶם אֱלֹהִים עָשָׂה אֶת הָאָדָם״ (ירושלמי נדרים ט ו).
A man should love his friends and all those near to him as well as the rest of Israel with a complete love to fulfill what is said: "And you shall love your neighbor as yourself" (Lev. 19:18). And this is a great general rule in the Torah: "That which is hateful to you do not do to your neighbor" (Shabbath 31a). And even more pertinent is the verse: "For in the image of God made He man" (Gen. 9:6). (This is commented upon in T.P. Nedarim 9:4.)
וְיֵשׁ תּוֹעֶלֶת גְּדוֹלָה לְמִי שֶׁנּוֹהֵג בְּחִבָּה וּבְרֵעוּת עִם בְּנֵי אָדָם;
And there is a great benefit to one who conducts himself with love and friendship with people.
תּוֹעֶלֶת הָאַחַת בָּעוֹלָם הַזֶּה, וּשְׁנִיָּה לָעוֹלָם הַבָּא: תּוֹעֶלֶת הָעוֹלָם הַזֶּה: כִּי מִי שֶׁמִּתְנַהֵג בְּאַהֲבָה עִם כָּל אָדָם יַעַזְרוּהוּ הַכֹּל: אִם יִפֹּל יִרְבּוּ עוֹזְרָיו וְסוֹמְכָיו, וְאִם יַעֲמֹד אָדָם נֶגְדּוֹ לָרִיב עִמּוֹ – רַבִּים יַעַמְדוּ אֶצְלוֹ לְהַצִּילוֹ. וְאִם יְדַבְּרוּ עָלָיו רָעָה – רַבִּים יַשְׁתִּיקוּ הַמְדַבְּרִים אֶת הָרָעָה וּמַכְלִימִים אוֹתָם. וְאִם תָּבוֹא עָלָיו צָרָה, הַכֹּל מִצְטַעֲרִים עָלָיו וְנוֹתְנִים לוֹ יָד. וְאִם יָבוֹא לִידֵי דֹּחַק וְעֹנִי, רַבִּים יְרַחֲמוּהוּ בִּנְתִינַת מַתְּנוֹתֵיהֶם.
One gain is in this world — if he conducts himself with love for everyone, everyone will help him. If he should fall, many are they who will help him and support him, and if a man rises against him to quarrel with him, then many will silence those who speak evil against him and abuse him. And if trouble comes upon him, all will feel his pain and will extend a hand to him. And if he should come to distress and poverty, many will be compassionate with him and show it by their gifts.
תּוֹעֶלֶת הָעוֹלָם הַבָּא: מֵחֲמַת שֶׁהוּא נֶאֱהָב לַכֹּל – אָז דְּבָרָיו נִשְׁמָעִים, וְיִהְיֶה יְכֹלֶת בְּיָדוֹ לְהוֹכִיחַ בְּנֵי אָדָם שֶׁיֵּיטִיבוּ מַעֲשֵׂיהֶם. וְגַם מִתּוֹךְ הָאַהֲבָה יַעֲמֹד בְּשָׁלוֹם עִם הַכֹּל, וּמִתּוֹךְ כָּךְ הוּא שָׁקֵט וְשָׁלֵו, וּפָנוּי לִלְמֹד תּוֹרָה וְלַעֲשׂוֹת מַעֲשִׂים טוֹבִים. וְגַם מִתּוֹךְ הָאַהֲבָה יַעַזְרוּהוּ, וְיַעֲשׂוּ מְלַאכְתּוֹ וְיָגֵנּוּ בַּעֲדוֹ, וְיִמְצָא הַרְוָחָה יְתֵרָה לַעֲבֹד הַבּוֹרֵא יִתְבָּרַךְ עֲבוֹדָה שְׁלֵמָה. וּמֵחֲמַת הָאַהֲבָה הוּא נוֹשֵׂא חֵן בְּעֵינֵי כָּל רוֹאָיו, וּמַעֲשָׂיו הַטּוֹבִים יִהְיוּ מְקֻבָּלִים לַכֹּל, וְכָל אֶחָד יַחְמֹד לַעֲשׂוֹת כְּמַעֲשֵׂהוּ.
As for his gain in the world to come — because he is beloved by all, his words are listened to and he has the power to rebuke people that they should improve their deeds. And also because of his love for all he will be at peace and secure and free to study and to do good deeds. And also from the depths of their love people will help him and he will do his work more easily and they will protect him, and he will find more leisure to serve the Creator, may He be Blessed, with complete service. And because of this love for all others, he finds favor in the eyes of all who observe him, and his good deeds will be welcomed by all and everyone will long to do as he does.
וּבְאֵיזֶה דֶּרֶךְ יַגִּיעַ הָאָדָם לְאַהֲבַת כָּל אָדָם? אַשְׂכִּילְךָ וְאוֹרֶךָ:
And how can a man reach that stage of loving all men ? I will make you grasp it and enlighten you!
הַדֶּרֶךְ הוּא שֶׁיַּעֲזֹר בְּנַפְשׁוֹ וּבְמָמוֹנוֹ לְכָל אָדָם כְּפִי יְכָלְתּוֹ.
The way to do this is that he should help all others with his life and with his money according to his ability.
הָעֵזֶר בְּנַפְשׁוֹ הוּא שֶׁיְּשָׁרֵת לְכָל אָדָם, הֵן עָנִי הֵן עָשִׁיר, וְיִטְרַח עֲבוּרָם.
"With his life" means that he should minister to everyone whether he be poor or rich and should trouble himself for their sakes.
הָעֵזֶר בְּמָמוֹנוֹ הוּא, שֶׁיַּלְוֶה לֶעָשִׁיר בְּעֵת הִצְטָרְכוֹ לְמָעוֹת, וְכֵן לְעָנִי יַלְוֶה בִּשְׁעַת דּוֹחֲקוֹ, וְכֵן יִפְקְדֵהוּ בְּמַתָּנָה כְּפִי כּוֹחוֹ, וְלִקְצָת הָעִתִּים יִשְׁלַח מָנוֹת וְדוֹרוֹנוֹת גַּם לַעֲשִׁירִים. וִיהֵא וַתְרָן בְּשֶׁלּוֹ. אִם יִהְיֶה לוֹ עֵסֶק עִם בְּנֵי אָדָם, יִהְיֶה כָּל מַשָּׂא וּמַתָּן שֶׁלּוֹ בֶּאֱמוּנָה, וְאַל יַקְפִּיד בְּדָבָר מוּעָט עַל חֲבֵרוֹ. לְעוֹלָם יִהְיֶה חָפֵץ שֶׁחֲבֵרוֹ יֵהָנֶה מִמֶּנּוּ, וְאַל יִשְׁתַּדֵּל הוּא לֵהָנוֹת מֵחֲבֵרוֹ. וּלְעוֹלָם יִהְיוּ דְּבָרָיו בְּנַחַת עִם בְּנֵי אָדָם: אִם בִּיְּשָׁהוּ אָדָם – אַל יְבַיְּשֵׁהוּ, וְאִם הִטְעָהוּ אָדָם – אַל יַטְעֵהוּ. יִסְבֹּל עוֹל צַוָּארוֹ עוֹל הָעוֹלָם, וְהוּא אַל יַכְבִּיד עֲלֵיהֶם. וְלֹא יִתְקוֹטֵט עִם שׁוּם אָדָם, וִיקַבֵּל כָּל אָדָם בְּשִׂמְחָה וּבְסֵבֶר פָּנִים יָפוֹת, כִּי הַסְבָּרַת פָּנִים תְּחַזֵּק הָאַהֲבָה. וְיִשָּׂא וְיִתֵּן עִם חֲבֵרוֹ בְּטוֹבָתוֹ, וִינַחֵם כָּל אָדָם מֵעָצְבּוֹ וּמִדַּאֲגָתוֹ. אִם גִּלָּה לוֹ אָדָם סוֹד – אַל יְגַלֵּהוּ, אַף אִם יַכְעִיסֵהוּ. וְלֹא יְדַבֵּר עַל שׁוּם אָדָם רַע, וְלֹא יִשְׁמַע שֶׁיְּדַבְּרוּ רָעוֹת עַל אָדָם. וּלְעוֹלָם יִשְׁתַּדֵּל לִמְצוֹא זְכוּת עַל בְּנֵי אָדָם בְּמָקוֹם שֶׁאֶפְשָׁר לִהְיוֹת, וְיוֹתֵר יִזָּהֵר בָּזֶה, וְאָז יִהְיֶה אָהוּב לַכֹּל. וִיכַבֵּד כָּל אָדָם בְּמַעֲשָׂיו וּבִדְבָרָיו. וְלֹא יִתְגָּאֶה עַל שׁוּם אָדָם, אַךְ יִכָּנַע תַּחַת כָּל אָדָם. וּבְכָל מַעֲשָׂיו יְכַוֵּן לְשֵׁם שָׁמַיִם. וְצָרִיךְ מְאוֹד לְהִזָּהֵר מֵחֶבְרַת בְּנֵי אָדָם שֶׁאֵינָם מְהֻגָּנִים, כְּדֵי שֶׁלֹּא יִלְמַד מִמַּעֲשֵׂיהֶם, וּלְהִתְרַחֵק מִמּוֹשַׁב לֵצִים.
"Help with his money" means that he should loan to the rich when the rich need funds, and similarly, he should loan to the poor in the time of their distress, and remember the poor with a gift in accordance with his ability to give, and in extreme cases he should send portions and gifts also to the rich. And he should be liberal and open-handed out of his substance. If he has dealings with people every transaction must be in complete faith and honesty, and he should not be strict with his companion in small matters. He should always desire that his companion should receive some joy or gain from him and let him not try to gain profit out of his companion. And let his words be gentle with all people. If a man has shamed him, let him not shame his abuser. If a man has deceived him, let him not deceive his deceiver. Let him bear upon his neck the yoke of the world, and let him not cause trouble to others. Let him avoid argument with others and let him welcome everyone with joy and with a smiling countenance, for his welcome reception strengthens love. And he must deal with another for the other's good. He must comfort and try to help every man out of his grief and worry. If someone has revealed a secret to him he must not reveal it to others even if the man who told him the secret enrages him. He must never speak evil of a person nor listen when others speak evil of anyone, and he should always try to find something good and pure in a person wherever this is possible, and in this connection he must be most earnest and careful. Then he will surely be loved by all. He must honor every man by his deeds and his words, and let him not vaunt himself over any person at all, but let him be humble before every man. And all of these things he must do with the intent to serve God. And he must be careful to avoid the companionship of people that are not respectable, so that he will not learn from their deeds, and he must always separate himself from cynics and scoffers.
וְאָמַר הֶחָכָם לִבְנוֹ: שְׁמַע בְּנִי! כִּי יַעֲלֶה בִּלְבָבְךָ לְהִתְחַבֵּר עִם בְּנֵי אָדָם – הִתְחַבֵּר עִם חָכָם, כְּדִכְתִיב (משלי יג כ): ״הוֹלֵךְ אֶת חֲכָמִים יֶחְכָּם״; וְנֶאֱמַר (שם ט ט): ״תֵּן לְחָכָם וְיֶחְכַּם עוֹד״. שֶׁאִם תֶּחְכַּם – יְפָאֶרְךָ וְלֹא יַחֲלֹק עַל חַכְמָתְךָ, וְאָז תֵּדַע שֶׁתּוּכַל לִסְמֹךְ עַל חַכְמָתְךָ. אִם תְּכַבְּדֵהוּ – יְכַבֶּדְךָ; תְּהַדְּרֵהוּ – יְהַדֶּרְךָ; וְאִם תִּצְטָרֵךְ לְעֶזְרָתוֹ – יַעֲזָרְךָ; וּמָה שֶׁתֹּאמַר יַצְדִּיקְךָ; אִם תִּכְעַס – יִסְבָּלְךָ; וְתִלְמַד מִמַּעֲשָׂיו הַטּוֹבִים. וְהִתְחַבֵּר עִם כָּל אָדָם שֶׁתִּלְמַד מִמֶּנּוּ דְּבָרִים אֲשֶׁר יְבִיאוּךָ לַעֲבוֹדַת הַבּוֹרֵא יִתְבָּרַךְ. וְאָמְרוּ חֲכָמִים: כְּשֶׁתִּרְצֶה לַחֲבֹר עִם אֵיזֶה אָדָם – הַכְעִיסֵהוּ, וְאִם יוֹדֶה לְךָ הָאֱמֶת בִּשְׁעַת כַּעֲסוֹ – הִתְחַבֵּר לוֹ; וְאִם לָאו – עֲזֹב אוֹתוֹ. וְאַל תִּתְחַבֵּר אֶלָּא לְמִי שֶׁיַּכִּיר אֶת עֵרֶךְ עַצְמוֹ, וּמִי שֶׁאֵינוֹ מַכִּיר אֶת עֵרֶךְ עַצְמוֹ – אֵין טוֹב בְּחֶבְרָתוֹ. קְנֵה לְךָ חָבֵר הַמּוֹכִיחַ אוֹתְךָ בַּעֲשׂוֹתְךָ שֶׁלֹּא כַּהֹגֶן, וְהַמְּלַמֶּדְךָ לַעֲשׂוֹת הַטּוֹב, וְאַל תָּקֹץ בְּתוֹכַחְתּוֹ; וְהָעוֹזֵר אוֹתְךָ בְּנַפְשׁוֹ וּבְמָמוֹנוֹ, וְהָעוֹזֵר קְנֵה וְלֹא תִּמְכֹּר, וְזֶהוּ חֲבֵרְךָ הַנֶּאֱמָן. אֲבָל חָבֵר הַמַּחֲנִיף וְהַמְּיַשֵּׁר לְךָ טָעוּתְךָ וְשִׁגְגָתְךָ, וְהַמְּנַחֵם אוֹתְךָ עַל מַעֲשֶׂיךָ הָרָעִים – הִסְתַּלֵּק מֵעָלָיו, וּמְנַע רַגְלְךָ מִנְּתִיבָתוֹ.
And the wise man said to his son, "If it should occur to you to make friends or companions, then make friends with a wise person as it is written: 'He that walks with the wise shall be wise' (Prov. 13:20). And it is said: 'Give knowledge to a wise man and he will be yet wiser' (Prov. 9:9). And so if you wish to grow in wisdom be a companion to the wise, for if you do act wisely your wise friend will praise you and not question your wisdom, and then you will know that you can rely on your wisdom. If they honor him, he will honor you; if they praise him, he will praise you. If you need his help, he will help you, and in the things you say he will declare you to be in the right. If you grow angry he will have patience with you, and you will learn from his good deeds. And be a companion to every person from whom you can learn things that will bring you to the Service of God, Blessed may He be!" And the Sages said, "If you wish to become a friend of a man get him angry with you and if he will still admit and confess the truth of what you say even in his wrath then become his companion and friend. If not, leave him. But, when you choose a friend, choose one who knows his own worth, for if he does not know himself his wisdom is of no good. Acquire a friend who will rebuke you when you do something that is not proper and who will teach you to do the good, and who will help you with his might and money — and such a friend will be faithful. But a friend who flatters you and smooths over your mistakes and errors and comforts you when you have done evil things — separate yourself from such a one.
וְכֵן חָבֵר שֶׁיִּקַּח מִמְּךָ צָרְכּוֹ, וְיַזִּיקְךָ הֶזֵּק גָּדוֹל עֲבוּר הֲנָאָה מוּעֶטֶת – מַהֵר וְסוּר מֵעָלָיו. וְאַל תִּתְחַבֵּר לַמַּסְכִּימִים עַל הָעַוְלָה, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (ישעיהו ח יב): ״לֹא תֹאמְרוּן קֶשֶׁר, לְכֹל אֲשֶׁר יֹאמַר הָעָם הַזֶּה קָשֶׁר״.
And similarly a friend who will take from you whatever he needs and cause you much harm for the little benefit he will gain from the transaction — quickly turn away from such a friend. And do not make friends with those who "go along with the crowd" and who always agree that there is an injustice, as it is said, "Do not say 'Conspiracy!' just because this people says 'Conspiracy!' " (Is. 8:12).
וְאָסוּר לְהִתְחַבֵּר עִם רָשָׁע בְּעִסְקֵי הָעוֹלָם, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (דברי הימים ב כ לז): ״בְּהִתְחַבֶּרְךָ עִם אֲחַזְיָהוּ, פָּרַץ יְיָ אֶת מַעֲשֶׂיךָ״.
And it is forbidden to associate with a wicked man in business or social or community affairs, as it is said: "Because you have joined yourself with Ahaziah the Lord has made a breach in your works!" (II Chron. 20:37).
וַאֲפִלּוּ לִדְבַר מִצְוָה אָסוּר לְהִתְחַבֵּר לָרָשָׁע, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (משלי ג לא): ״אַל תְּקַנֵּא בְּאִישׁ חָמָס, וְאַל תִּבְחַר בְּכָל דְּרָכָיו״. וְאָמְרוּ חֲכָמִים בְּאָבוֹת דְּרַבִּי נָתָן (ט ד): תִּתְרַחֵק מִשָּׁכֵן רַע, וְאַל תִּתְחַבֵּר לָרָשָׁע אֲפִלּוּ לִדְבַר מִצְוָה. וְרַבּוּ דַּרְכֵי הַמָּוֶת הַנִּמְצָאִים בְּחֶבְרַת הָרְשָׁעִים.
And even in fulfilling a commandment it is forbidden to join with the wicked, as it is said: "Do not envy the man of violence and do not choose any of his ways" (Prov. 3:31). And the sages said: "Do not join with the wicked even in fulfilling a command" (Aboth de R. Nathan, chap. a), and many are the ways that lead to death when one is in the companionship of the wicked.
וְאִם יְדַקְדֵּק אָדָם עַל עַצְמוֹ, וְיִהְיוּ דְּבָרָיו בְּנַחַת עִם הַבְּרִיּוֹת וְדַעְתּוֹ מְעֹרֶבֶת עִמָּהֶם, נֶעֱלָב וְאֵינוֹ עוֹלֵב, וּמְכַבֵּד אֲפִלּוּ אוֹתָם הַמְּקִלִּים בּוֹ, וְנוֹשֵׂא וְנוֹתֵן בֶּאֱמוּנָה, וְלֹא יַרְבֶּה בַּאֲרוּחַת עַמֵּי הָאָרֶץ וִישִׁיבָתָם, וְלֹא יֵרָאֶה נִרְאֶה תָּמִיד אֶלָּא עוֹסֵק בַּתּוֹרָה, וְעָטוּף בְּצִיצִית וּמֻכְתָּר בִּתְפִלִּין, וְעוֹשֶׂה בְּכָל מַעֲשָׂיו לִפְנִים מִשּׁוּרַת הַדִּין, וְהוּא שֶׁלֹּא יִתְרַחֵק הַרְבֵּה וְלֹא יִשְׁתּוֹמֵם, עַד שֶׁיִּמָּצְאוּ הַכֹּל מְקַלְּסִים אוֹתוֹ וְאוֹהֲבִים אוֹתוֹ וּמִתְאַוִּים לְמַעֲשָׂיו – הֲרֵי זֶה קִדֵּשׁ אֶת הַשֵּׁם, וְעָלָיו הַכָּתוּב אוֹמֵר (ישעיהו מט ג): ״וַיֹּאמֶר לִי עַבְדִּי אָתָּה, יִשְׂרָאֵל אֲשֶׁר בְּךָ אֶתְפָּאָר״.
And if a man is careful in guarding himself from these things and if his words are gentle with all people and he is pleasant and sociable with them, is abused by them but does not abuse them, honors them — even those who make light of him — and deals with every person honestly and does not spend too much time in the gatherings of the ignorant and their parties, and is not seen flitting about, but occupies himself with Torah, wrapped in his fringed Tallit and crowned with his Tefillin, and does more than is required of him by the letter of the law, but at the same time, does not separate himself utterly from the community and make himself a hermit, and if as a result of his behavior every one will praise him and love him and long to emulate his deeds — such a person sanctifies the Name of God and about him Scripture says! "And he said to me 'You are my servant Israel through whom I will be glorified' " (Is. 49:3).
וְאַהֲבַת אֹרֶךְ יָמִים תִּהְיֶה עַל דֶּרֶךְ זֶה: שֶׁיֹּאהַב יְמֵי חַיָּיו לֹא עֲבוּר שֶׁיֹּאכַל וְיִשְׁתֶּה וְיֵהָנֶה בִּימֵי הֶבְלוֹ, אַךְ יַחְשֹׁב: מְלֶאכֶת הַתּוֹרָה וְהַמִּצְווֹת מְרֻבָּה, וְאִם הָיִיתִי חַי כִּפְלַיִם וְכִפְלֵי כִּפְלַיִם – לֹא הָיִיתִי יָכוֹל לְהַשְׁלִים חֹק הַתּוֹרָה וּלְהַשִּׂיג מַעֲלוֹת הַתּוֹרָה, אֲשֶׁר בָּהֶם יִתְרַצֶּה עֶבֶד אֶל אֲדוֹנָיו. וְעַל דֶּרֶךְ זֶה יֹאהַב יְמֵי חַיָּיו, כִּי בָּהֶם יִקְנֶה עֲבוֹדַת הַבּוֹרֵא בָּרוּךְ הוּא וְיִרְאָתוֹ הַטְּהוֹרָה וְאַהֲבָתוֹ, וְיִקְנֶה צֵידָה בָּעוֹלָם הַזֶּה אֲשֶׁר יָבִיא אוֹתוֹ לָעוֹלָם הַבָּא. וְיִקְנֶה בָּעוֹלָם וּבַיָּמִים הַכָּלִים – עוֹלָם הַקַּיָּם, תַּעֲנוּג אֲשֶׁר לֹא יִפָּסֵק לְעוֹלָם וּלְעוֹלְמֵי עוֹלָמִים. וְתָמִיד יִירָא מִן הַמָּוֶת, כִּי שֶׁמָּא עֲדַיִן לֹא הִגִּיעַ לְתַכְלִית הַשְּׁלֵמוּת אֲשֶׁר בְּכוֹחוֹ לְהַגִּיעַ, וּבְכָל יוֹם וָיוֹם יוֹסִיף אַהֲבָה וְיִרְאָה לַמָּקוֹם.
And the love of long life should be in this manner — that he should love the days of his life not for eating and drinking and the frivolous pleasures of life, but he should think, "The work of following the Torah and its commandments is exceedingly great, and if the length of my life were doubled and redoubled many times over I would not be able to complete the requirements of the Torah and reach the heights and goals set by the Torah through which a true servant of God pleases his Master." And in this manner he will truly love the days of his life for with them he acquires the means of serving the Creator, Blessed be He, with purest reverence, and love, and he thus acquires provisions in this fleeting world which he can convey to the world to come, and he can acquire in the transitory world and its vanishing days a world that will endure and a joy that will never, never cease. And he will always fear death for this reason only — that perhaps he has not attained the limits of the perfection that lie in his power to attain. And every day he will increase love and reverence for God.
אֲבָל חַיִּים שֶׁאֵין בָּהֶם יִרְאַת הַשֵּׁם – אֵין זֶה נִקְרָא ״חַיִּים״, וְיָקוּץ וְיִמְאַס בְּחַיִּים שֶׁהֵם נֶגֶד הַבּוֹרֵא יִתְבָּרַךְ, כָּעִנְיָן שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר בְּרִבְקָה (בראשית כז מו): ״קַצְתִּי בְחַיַּי מִפְּנֵי בְּנוֹת חֵת, אִם לֹקֵּחַ יַעֲקֹב אִשָּׁה מִבְּנוֹת חֵת כָּאֵלֶּה מִבְּנוֹת הָאָרֶץ, לָמָּה לִּי חַיִּים״. וּלְכָךְ בִּמְקוֹם שֶׁיֵּשׁ חִלּוּל הַשֵּׁם לֹא יָחוּשׁ עַל חַיָּיו, וְתָמִיד יְהֵא לִבּוֹ נָכוֹן לִמְסוֹר עַצְמוֹ עַל קִדּוּשׁ הַשֵּׁם בְּכָל הַמִּצְווֹת, הֵן בַּקַּלּוֹת וְהֵן בַּחֲמוּרוֹת.
But a life that has no reverence of God in it cannot be called life. And a person should be disgusted with and reject a life that is against the will of the Creator, may He be Blessed, as is said of Rebecca: "And Rebecca said to Isaac, 'I am weary of my life because of the daughters of Heth. If Jacob takes a wife of the daughters of Heth, such as these daughters of the land, then of what good is my life to me?' " (Gen. 27:46). Therefore, in a place where there is desecration of God's Name he should not worry about his life and always let his heart be ready to surrender himself for the Sanctification of God's Name in all of the commandments, be they light or of great importance.
וְאַהֲבַת הַכָּבוֹד הִיא רָעָה מְאוֹד, לָכֵן יִתְרַחֵק מִן הַכָּבוֹד בְּכָל יְכָלְתּוֹ. וְאִם אָדָם מִתְרַחֵק מִשְּׁנֵי דְּבָרִים, וְהֵם כָּבוֹד וַהֲנָאַת אֲחֵרִים – אָז הוּא קָרוֹב לְכָל הַמַּעֲלוֹת הַטּוֹבוֹת. כִּי הַכָּבוֹד מְקַלְקֵל כָּל הַמַּעֲשִׂים, כִּי בְּכָל הַמַּעֲשִׂים שֶׁיַּעֲשֶׂה יַחֲשֹׁב לְהִתְכַּבֵּד. וַאֲפִלּוּ לֹא יָחוּשׁ עַל הַכָּבוֹד, אִם הוּא רוֹדֵף לֵהָנוֹת מֵאֲחֵרִים – אָז כָּל מַעֲשָׂיו מְקֻלְקָלִים, כִּי תָּמִיד יַטֶּנּוּ לִבּוֹ אַחַר הַבֶּצַע. לָכֵן יִתֵּן אֶל לִבּוֹ לְהִתְרַחֵק מִן הַכָּבוֹד, וְגַם מִלֵּהָנוֹת מֵאֲחֵרִים.
Love of honor is very bad, therefore a man should separate himself far from the love of honor with all his might. And if a man should separate himself from two things — the love of honor and receiving of pleasure by the adultation and gifts of others, then he will be near to all the good virtues, for the love of honor spoils all good deeds, for in the things he does he has in mind to be honored, and even if he does not care about honor but seeks to receive gain from others by his good deeds, then all of his deeds are spoiled because his heart always inclines him to make profit out of everything. Therefore he must put it in his heart to distance himself from honor and also from getting benefits from others through his good deeds.
וְלִפְעָמִים יֵשׁ מִצְוָה בִּרְדִיפַת כָּבוֹד, כְּמוֹ אִם הוּא אִישׁ צַדִּיק וְחָכָם, וְהָעוֹלָם מְזַלְזְלִים בּוֹ וּמְצַחֲקִים עָלָיו עֲבוּר מַעֲשָׂיו הַטּוֹבִים, וּמִתּוֹךְ כָּךְ דְּבָרָיו בְּזוּיִים וְאֵינָם נִשְׁמָעִים. וְאִם הָיָה בּוֹ כֹּחַ לָכֹף בְּנֵי אָדָם שֶׁיְּכַבְּדוּהוּ וְיִשְׁמְעוּ תּוֹכְחוֹתָיו וּדְבָרָיו – בָּזֶה יֵשׁ לִרְדֹּף אַחַר הַכָּבוֹד כְּדֵי לְהוֹכִיחַ בְּנֵי אָדָם. כְּגוֹן אִם בִּזּוּהוּ בָּרַבִּים – אֵין לוֹ לִמְחֹל עַד שֶׁיְּפַיְּסוּהוּ. אֲבָל רֹב פְּעָמִים יִסְתַּלֵּק מִן הַכָּבוֹד וְיִבְרַח מִמֶּנּוּ. הֲלוֹא אָמְרוּ חֲכָמִים (אבות ד כא): הַקִּנְאָה וְתַאֲוָה וְהַכָּבוֹד מוֹצִיאִים אֶת הָאָדָם מִן הָעוֹלָם. וְלֹא יִלְמַד וְלֹא יַעֲשֶׂה שׁוּם מַעֲשֶׂה טוֹב כְּדֵי שֶׁיִּתְכַּבֵּד; אַךְ יַעֲשֶׂה מַעֲשֶׂה הַטּוֹב לְשֵׁם הַבּוֹרֵא יִתְבָּרַךְ, וְסוֹף הַכָּבוֹד לָבוֹא.
But, there are times when it is a good deed to pursue honor, as when he is a righteous and wise man and people hold him cheaply and make fun of him because of his good deeds and because of this his words are disdained and not listened to. Then if it is in his power to compel men to do him honor and listen to his rebukes, it is commendable to pursue honor in order to correct and rebuke the people. Similarly, if people have shamed him publicly he should not forgive them until they have entreated and appeased him. But in most cases he must go away from honor and flee from it. Did not the Sages say: "Jealousy, lust and the pursuit of honor take a man out of this world" (Aboth 4:28). And a man ought not to learn or to do any good thing in order to be honored, but should do the good deed for the sake of the Creator, may He be Blessed, and in the end the honor will come.
אַהֲבַת תַּעֲנוּגִים, כְּגוֹן אֲכִילָה וּשְׁתִיָּה וְשֵׁנָה: דַּע שֶׁצָּרִיךְ הָאָדָם שֶׁיְּכַוֵּן מַעֲשָׂיו כֻּלָּם כְּדֵי לֵידַע אֶת הַשֵּׁם בָּרוּךְ הוּא, וְיִהְיֶה שִׁבְתּוֹ וְקוּמוּ וְדִבּוּרוֹ – הַכֹּל לְעֻמַּת זֶה הַדָּבָר. כֵּיצַד? כְּשֶׁיִּשָּׂא וְיִתֵּן, אוֹ יַעֲשֶׂה שׁוּם מַעֲשֶׂה אוֹ מְלָאכָה, לֹא יִהְיֶה בְּלִבּוֹ זִכְרוֹן מָמוֹן לְבַד; אֶלָּא יַעֲשֶׂה דְּבָרִים אֵלּוּ כְּדֵי שֶׁיִּמְצָא דְּבָרִים שֶׁהַגּוּף צָרִיךְ בָּהֶם, מֵאֲכִילָה וּשְׁתִיָּה וִישִׁיבַת בַּיִת וּנְשִׂיאַת אִשָּׁה. וּכְשֶׁיֹּאכַל וְיִשְׁתֶּה וְיִבְעַל, לֹא יָשִׂים אֶל לִבּוֹ דְּבָרִים הַלָּלוּ כְּדֵי לֵהָנוֹת, עַד שֶׁנִּמְצָא שֶׁאֵינוֹ אוֹכֵל וְשׁוֹתֶה אֶלָּא הַמָּתוֹק לַחֵךְ, וְיִבְעַל כְּדֵי לֵהָנוֹת; אֶלָּא שֶׁיָּשִׂים אֶל לִבּוֹ שֶׁיֹּאכַל כְּדֵי לְהַבְרוֹת גּוּפוֹ וְאֵבָרָיו. לְפִיכָךְ לֹא יֹאכַל כָּל שֶׁהַחֵךְ מִתְאַוֶּה כְּמוֹ הַכֶּלֶב וְהַחֲמוֹר, אֶלָּא יֹאכַל דְּבָרִים הַמּוֹעִילִים לַגּוּף, אִם מָרִים אִם מְתוּקִים. וְלֹא יֹאכַל דְּבָרִים הָרָעִים לַגּוּף, אַף עַל פִּי שֶׁהֵם מְתוּקִים לַחֵךְ. בְּזֶה הַמִּנְהָג יַנְהִיג עַצְמוֹ, וְיָשִׂים אֶל לִבּוֹ שֶׁיִּהְיֶה שָׁלֵם וְחָזָק, כְּדֵי שֶׁתְּהֵא נַפְשׁוֹ יְשָׁרָה לָדַעַת אֶת הַשֵּׁם יִתְבָּרַךְ. כִּי אִי אֶפְשָׁר שֶׁיָּבִין וְיִתְחַכֵּם בַּתּוֹרָה וּבַמִּצְווֹת, וְהוּא חוֹלֶה אוֹ אֶחָד מֵאֵבָרָיו כּוֹאֵב לוֹ. לְפִיכָךְ אֵין טוֹב לְהִתְעַנּוֹת תָּמִיד, פֶּן יֵחָלֵשׁ כּוֹחוֹ וְיִתְמַעֵט שִׂכְלוֹ. לָכֵן צָרִיךְ לְתַקֵּן כָּל עִנְיָנָיו לַעֲבוֹדַת הַבּוֹרֵא יִתְבָּרַךְ: אִם יְמַלֵּא כְּרֵסוֹ – אָז יִכְבַּד בְּגוּפוֹ; וְאִם יְמַעֵט מְזוֹנוֹ – אָז יֵחָלֵשׁ. וְזֶה טוֹב לְךָ, אֲשֶׁר תַּמְעִיט בְּמִינֵי הַלִּפְתָּן, וְתִסְמֹךְ עַל לִפְתָּן אֶחָד בְּעוֹד שֶׁתּוּכַל, וְיִהְיֶה דַּי לְךָ מִמֶּנּוּ מְעַט כְּפִי מַה שֶׁתּוּכַל. וְהִתְכַּוֵּן בּוֹ לְהַגִּיעַ הַלֶּחֶם אֶל בִּטְנְךָ, וְלֹא לְהִתְעַנֵּג. וְהַרְגֵּל נַפְשְׁךָ קְצָת הָעִתִּים מִבְּלִי לִפְתָּן, כְּדֵי לְהַנְהִיג טִבְעֲךָ עַד שֶׁיָּקֵל עָלֶיךָ בְּעֵת הִמָּנְעוֹ. וְאִם תּוּכַל תַּעֲזֹב הַלִּפְתָּן, אֲשֶׁר יֵשׁ בּוֹ יְגִיעָה וָטֹרַח. וְשִׂים אֲכִילָתְךָ בַּיּוֹם קַלָּה מֵאֲכִילָתְךָ בַּלַּיְלָה. וְתִתְנַהֵג לֶאֱכֹל פַּעֲמַיִם בַּיּוֹם, כְּדֵי שֶׁתְּהֵא תְּנוּעַת אֵיבָרֶיךָ קַלָּה בַּיּוֹם, וּמִתּוֹךְ כָּךְ יָקֵלּוּ עָלֶיךָ עִנְיָנֵי תּוֹרָתְךָ. וְתִתְנַהֵג לִשְׁתּוֹת מַיִם, אֶלָּא אִם כֵּן תִּהְיֶה כַּוָּנָתְךָ בִּשְׁתִיַּת הַיַּיִן לְתוֹעֶלֶת גּוּפְךָ אוֹ לְהַעֲבִיר הַדְּאָגָה. וְהִזָּהֵר מְאוֹד מֵהַרְבּוֹת מִמֶּנּוּ, כִּי הוּא מְשַׁכֵּר וּמַרְחִיק לַתּוֹרָה.
As for the love of pleasure, such as eating, drinking and sleeping, know that man must direct his heart and all his deeds only to know the Lord, Blessed is He. So a man's sitting, arising and his speech should all be centered on this. How? When he does business or works at a job for pay, let there not be in his heart the thought of gathering money for its own sake; but to do so in order that he may secure the things his body needs — food, drink, a dwelling place, and marriage. And when he does eat, drink and enjoy connubial pleasures, he should not put it in his heart to do these things solely for his pleasure until he is not able to eat and drink anything except the foods that are sweet to his palate, and he marries only for pleasure. But he must put it into his heart that he must eat for the health of his body and limbs. Therefore, he should not eat everything the palate longs for as does a dog or a donkey, but should eat those foods which are good for the body, whether they be bitter or sweet. And he should not eat things which are bad for the body even if they are sweet to the taste. He must accustom himself to this habit and determine in his heart that his body shall be completely well and strong, in order that his soul may be upright and firm to know the Lord, may He be Blessed. For it is impossible for him to understand and grow wise in the Torah and commandments if he is hungry or sick or one of his limbs pains him. Therefore it is not good to fast always, lest his strength grow weak and his intelligence grow less. Therefore he should arrange and direct all his matters to the service of the Creator, may He be Blessed. If he fills his stomach then he may grow heavy in body, and if he eats too little he will be weak, so it would be good for you to have less of the trimmings at a meal and depend on one dish if you can, and let that suffice for you in modest quantity. Intend that this food shall reach your stomach for the sake of nourishing you and not merely to delight your taste, and accustom your appetite on a few occasions to do without delicacies, so as to discipline your nature so that it will be easy for you when you cannot obtain these foods. If possible, abandon those foods or dishes which take much time and trouble to prepare and let your meals during the day be lighter than your evening meal, and accustom yourself to eating twice a day so that the functioning of your limbs may be light and easy and in this way your studies of the Torah will come easier. And accustom yourself to drink water unless your intention is to drink wine for your health's sake, or to drive away worry, and be very careful not to drink too much wine for it saturates and washes away Torah.
וְזֶה הַכְּלָל יִהְיֶה לְעוֹלָם בְּיָדְךָ: אַל יְמַלֵּא אָדָם כָּל תַּאֲוָתוֹ מֵאֲכִילָה וּשְׁתִיָּה, אַךְ יֹאכַל וְיִשְׁתֶּה לְהַעֲמִיד גּוּפוֹ עַל בֻּרְיוֹ, וְיִמְשֹׁךְ יָדָיו מִן הַמֻּתָּר. וְאַל יֹאהַב הָאָדָם אֶת הָעוֹלָם כְּדֵי שֶׁיֹּאכַל וְיִשְׁתֶּה וְיֵהָנֶה מִמֶּנּוּ. וְכֵן אָמַר אֶחָד מִן הַחֲכָמִים: אֹכַל לְמַעַן אֶחְיֶה. וְאָמַר הַכְּסִיל: אֶחְיֶה לְמַעַן אֹכַל. וְעַל זֶה נֶאֱמַר (משלי יג כה): ״צַדִּיק אֹכֵל לְשֹׂבַע נַפְשׁוֹ, וּבֶטֶן רְשָׁעִים תֶּחְסָר״.
This is the general rule that should always remain with you: A man should not satisfy all of his desires in eating and drinking, but he should eat and drink enough to keep his body in a healthy state and should refrain from reaching for a surplus of food. A man should not love this world for the sake of eating, drinking and having pleasure. For example, the wise man says: "I will eat in order to live." And the statement of the fool is "I will live in order to eat." On this subject it is said: "The righteous eat to the point of satisfying their desire, but the stomach of the wicked is always wanting no matter how much they eat" (Prov. 13:25).
וְכֵן הַנּוֹשֵׂא אִשָּׁה יַחְשֹׁב לְשֵׁם שָׁמַיִם, שֶׁיְּקַיֵּם פְּרִיָּה וּרְבִיָּה, וְיִהְיֶה לוֹ זֶרַע עוֹבְדֵי הַשֵּׁם יִתְבָּרַךְ וְיִרְאֵי שָׁמַיִם. אוֹ יַחֲשֹׁב שֶׁיְּמַלֵּא תַּאֲוָתוֹ וִיכַלֶּה יִצְרוֹ בְּאִשְׁתּוֹ, כְּדֵי שֶׁלֹּא יִתְאַוֶּה לְנָשִׁים אֲחֵרוֹת. אוֹ כְּדֵי לִפְקֹד אֶת אִשְׁתּוֹ כְּשֶׁהוּא יוֹדֵעַ שֶׁהִיא מִתְאַוָּה לוֹ, כְּדֵי שֶׁלֹּא תִּתְאַוֶּה לַאֲנָשִׁים אֲחֵרִים. אוֹ יְכַוֵּן לְהַבְרוֹת גּוּפוֹ, שֶׁיְּצִיאַת הַזֶּרַע מִמֶּנּוּ הִיא בְּרִיאוּת הַגּוּף. אֲבָל הַמַּרְבֶּה לְשַׁמֵּשׁ יוֹתֵר מִדַּי – יָבוֹאוּ עָלָיו חוֹלָאִים רַבִּים.
And so with a man who marries. Let him be mindful that this is in obedience to Divine command, that he should fulfill the command of "Be fruitful and multiply" and that he should have children who will serve the Lord, may He be Blessed, and revere God. Or he should be mindful that he satisfies his desires and quiets his passion with his wife and is therefore not tempted by other women, or to be considerate of his wife when he senses that she longs for his embrace so that she be not tempted by other men, or he may have regard to the health of his body which requires normal sex habits for its health. But he who indulges too frequently will suffer many ills.
וְהַמְּהַלֵּךְ בְּדֶרֶךְ זֶה, כָּל יָמָיו כֻּלּוֹ הוּא עוֹבֵד הַשֵּׁם בָּרוּךְ הוּא. וַאֲפִלּוּ בְּשָׁעָה שֶׁנּוֹשֵׂא וְנוֹתֵן, וַאֲפִלּוּ בְּשָׁעָה שֶׁבּוֹעֵל, מִפְּנֵי שֶׁמַּחֲשַׁבְתּוֹ בַּכֹּל כְּדֵי שֶׁיִּמְצָא צְרָכָיו בִּלְבַד, עַד שֶׁיְּהֵא גּוּפוֹ שָׁלֵם לַעֲבֹד אֶת הַשֵּׁם בָּרוּךְ הוּא. וַאֲפִלּוּ בְּשָׁעָה שֶׁיָּשֵׁן, אִם יָשֵׁן בִּשְׁבִיל שֶׁתָּנוּחַ נַפְשׁוֹ עָלָיו, וְיָנוּחַ גּוּפוֹ שֶׁלֹּא יֶחֱלֶה, כִּי לֹא יוּכַל לַעֲבֹד אֶת הַשֵּׁם בָּרוּךְ הוּא וְהוּא חוֹלֶה, וְנִמְצָא שֵׁנָה שֶׁלּוֹ עֲבוֹדָה לַמָּקוֹם בָּרוּךְ הוּא. עַל עִנְיָן זֶה צִוּוּ חֲכָמִים וְאָמְרוּ (אבות ב יב): כָּל מַעֲשֶׂיךָ יִהְיוּ לְשֵׁם שָׁמַיִם. וְהוּא שֶׁאָמַר שְׁלֹמֹה בְּחָכְמָתוֹ (משלי ג ו): ״בְּכָל דְּרָכֶיךָ דָּעֵהוּ, וְהוּא יְיַשֵּׁר אֹרְחֹתֶיךָ״.
He who walks in the path described above serves the Lord, may He Be Blessed, always, even when he is engaged in doing business, even when he lives with his wife, for his intention is to fulfill his bodily needs so that he can serve God, Blessed be He. And even when he sleeps, if he sleeps, so that his mind will be refreshed and his body rested, so that he does not become ill and therefore not be able to serve the Lord, Blessed is He, because of his illness — that sleep with this intent is considered service to God, Blessed be He. And on this subject our Sages commanded and said: "Let all your deeds be for the sake of Heaven (God)" (Aboth 2:17). And this is what Solomon said in his wisdom: "In all thy ways, know Him and He will direct your paths" (Prov. 3:6).
יַעֲזֹב אָדָם כָּל הָאֲהָבוֹת וְיִדְבַּק בְּאַהֲבַת הַבּוֹרֵא בָּרוּךְ הוּא, כְּדִכְתִיב (דברים ו ה): ״וְאָהַבְתָּ אֵת יְיָ אֱלֹהֶיךָ״. וְאַהֲבַת הַשֵּׁם בָּרוּךְ הוּא, הִיא תַּכְלִית כָּל הַתְּכוּנוֹת וְסוֹף כָּל הַמַּעֲלוֹת בְּמַדְרֵגוֹת כָּל אַנְשֵׁי הָעֲבוֹדָה, וְכָל הַמִּדּוֹת הֵן כְּמוֹ סֻלָּם לְמַעֲלַת הָאַהֲבָה. וְהִיא נִדְבַת הַנְּפָשׁוֹת מֵאַנְשֵׁי הַחֲסִידִים וְהַנְּבִיאִים וְהַפְּרוּשִׁים, וְסוֹפָן אֵין לְמַעְלָה הֵימֶנָּה.
Let a man abandon all other loves and cleave to love of the Creator, Blessed be He. For the Love of God, Blessed be He, is the goal of all good qualities, and the final purpose of all worthy traits in the ladder of ascent of all men who serve God and of those with generous souls among men of kindness and mercy and of the Prophets and the Pharisees — yes, this is the ultimate goal and there is no goal that is higher than this.
וְהַרְבֵּה פְּעָמִים מַקְדִּים הַסֵּפֶר יִרְאַת הָאֱלֹהִים עַל אַהֲבָתוֹ, כְּמוֹ שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (דברים י יב): ״וְעַתָּה יִשְׂרָאֵל, מָה יְיָ אֱלֹהֶיךָ שֹׁאֵל מֵעִמָּךְ, כִּי אִם לְיִרְאָה אֶת יְיָ אֱלֹהֶיךָ וּלְאַהֲבָה אוֹתוֹ״. וּמִפְּנֵי שֶׁהָאַהֲבָה הִיא תַּכְלִית הַפְּרִישׁוּת וְסוֹפָהּ, וְהַקְּרוֹבָה שֶׁבַּמַּדְרֵגוֹת אֶל מַדְרֵגַת אַהֲבַת הָאֱלֹהִים. וְאִי אֶפְשָׁר שֶׁיַּגִּיעַ הָאָדָם אֵלֶיהָ אֶלָּא אַחֵר שֶׁתִּקְדֹּם יִרְאָתוֹ וּפַחְדּוֹ וּפַחְדּוֹ מֵהָאֱלֹהִים. וְעַל כֵּן הִקְדִּימָה הַיִּרְאָה לָאַהֲבָה.
Many times the Torah sets fear of God before love of Him, as it is said: "And now O Israel, what does the Lord your God ask of you except to revere and to love Him" (Deut. 10:12). And since the love of fellow men is the goal of all who separate themselves in order to lead holy lives and this love is the closest rung to the rung of the love of God, in the ladder of our upward climb, love of God must be more than the love of a man for mankind. And a man can reach that highest rung only through fear and reverence of God. That is why reverence or fear in the verse referred to precedes love of God.
וּמָה הִיא הָאַהֲבָה? הִיא אַהֲבַת הַנֶּפֶשׁ וּנְטוֹתָהּ מֵעַצְמָהּ אֶל הַבּוֹרֵא יִתְבָּרַךְ, כְּדֵי שֶׁתִּדְבַּק בְּאוֹרוֹ הָעֶלְיוֹן. הַנֶּפֶשׁ הַזֹּאת הִיא מְקוֹר הַדַּעַת, וְהִיא טְהוֹרָה וְזַכָּה; וְהַבּוֹרֵא קוֹשְׁרָהּ בַּגּוּף אֲשֶׁר חִשְׁקוֹ רַב, לְנַסּוֹת אִם הִיא תֵּלֵךְ בְּדַרְכֵי הַשֵּׁם. וּמִפְּנֵי שֶׁהָאָדָם מְלֻבָּשׁ בַּגּוּף, הַנִּבְרָא בְרוּחַ בַּהֲמוּת – אֵין כֹּחַ בַּנְּשָׁמָה הַנִּבְרֵאת מֵאֱלֹהִים לַחֲשֹׁב אַחַר בּוֹרְאָהּ, כִּי מְעֹרֶבֶת הִיא בְּתַאֲווֹת הַגּוּף. וְכָל יְמֵי קַטְנוּת הָאָדָם – אֵינוֹ מְבַקֵּשׁ וְאֵינוֹ שׁוֹאֵל אֶלָּא תַּאֲווֹתָיו וְתַעֲנוּגָיו. כִּי מֵרֹב תַּאֲווֹת הַגּוּף, אֲכִילָה וּשְׁתִיָּה וְעִדּוּנֵי הָעוֹלָם הַזֶּה, שֶׁהוּא עוֹלָם שָׁוְא וָשֶׁקֶר, וְחוֹשֵׁב לֶאֱסֹף הוֹן רַב – אֵין כֹּחַ בְּהַנְּשָׁמָה לַחְשֹׁב אַחַר הַבּוֹרֵא יִתְבָּרַךְ, כִּי הִיא מְלֻבֶּשֶׁת בְּהַבְלֵי שָׁוְא. וְאַחֲרֵי שֶׁתַּרְגִּישׁ הַנֶּפֶשׁ בַּמֶּה שֶׁיֵּשׁ לָהּ תּוֹעֶלֶת לְעַצְמָהּ בִּלְתִּי שִׁתּוּף הַגּוּף, אָז הִיא תִּתְאַוֶּה לְבַקֵּשׁ מְנוּחָה מִמִּדּוֹת הַגּוּף, כַּאֲשֶׁר יִתְאַוֶּה הַחוֹלֶה לְרוֹפֵא. וּכְשֶׁתִּתְרַפֵּא הַנֶּפֶשׁ מִתַּחֲלֻאֶיהָ, אָז יִהְיֶה לָהּ אוֹר בְּעַצְמָהּ וְכֹחַ בְּנַפְשָׁהּ. וְהַנֶּפֶשׁ הֲלוֹא מְלֵאָה אַהֲבָה, וְאוֹתָהּ אַהֲבָה קְשׁוּרָה בְּשִׂמְחָה, וְאוֹתָהּ הַשִּׂמְחָה מַבְרַחַת מֵעַל לְבָבוֹ נְעִימוּת הַגּוּף וְתַעֲנוּג הָעוֹלָם. וְאוֹתָהּ שִׂמְחָה עַזָּה וּמִתְגַּבֶּרֶת עַל לְבָבוֹ, וְכָל הֲנָאוֹת שֶׁבָּעוֹלָם הֵם כְּאַיִן כְּנֶגֶד תִּגְבֹּרֶת תֹּקֶף שִׂמְחַת אַהֲבַת הַשֵּׁם יִתְבָּרַךְ, וְכָל שַׁעֲשׁוּעֵי יְלָדָיו כְּלֹא הָיוּ כְּנֶגֶד שַׁעֲשׁוּעַ הַלֵּב הָאוֹהֵב אֶת הַשֵּׁם בְּכָל לִבּוֹ.
And what is this love? It is the yearning of the soul and its own upward inclination towards the Creator, may He be exalted, in order that it may cleave to His highest illumination and light. This soul is the source of knowledge and is clean and pure and the Creator binds her in the body for His desire is great to try her and see if she will go in the ways of the Lord. And because man is clothed in a body which was created with the nature of animals there is not sufficient power in the soul created by God to have in constant mind her Creator, for she is mingled with all fleshly desire of the body. And all the days of man's petty strivings he seeks nothing and asks nothing but the gratification of his lusts, and his hunger for pleasures of this world which is a world of vanity and falsehood, and because of his desire to gather much wealth, there is no strength in the soul to keep in mind the Creator, may He be Blessed, for the soul is clothed in frivolous nothings. But after the soul senses that it can aspire to something nobler by itself without the participation of the body, then she longs to seek rest from the ills of the body as the sick person earnestly seeks a doctor. And when the soul is healed from its illnesses then she possesses light in her very self and strength in her spirit, and the soul is then truly filled with love and this love is bound up with joy. And this joy causes the pleasures of the body, and delight in mere physical life to flee from his heart, and that joy is strong and is in control of his heart, and all the pleasures of the world are as nothing compared with the mighty joy in the Lord, Blessed is He. And all his love and delight at the playing of his children are as though they had never been when compared with the mighty joy in the Lord, Blessed is He.
וְכָל הִרְהוּר שֶׁלּוֹ אֵיךְ לַעֲשׂוֹת רְצוֹן הַבּוֹרֵא יִתְבָּרַךְ, וּלְזַכּוֹת אֶת הָרַבִּים, וְלַעֲשׂוֹת קִדּוּשׁ הַשֵּׁם, וְלִמְסֹר עַצְמוֹ בְּאַהֲבַת הַשֵּׁם. וְזֶה יִרְאַת הַשֵּׁם: שֶׁלֹּא תַּעֲבֹר עַל מָה שֶׁכָּתוּב בַּתּוֹרָה, הָאַהֲבָה כְּגוֹן פִּנְחָס שֶׁמָּסַר עַצְמוֹ בְּאַהֲבַת הַשֵּׁם; וְאַבְרָהָם אָבִינוּ שֶׁאָמַר (בראשית יד כב-כג): ״הֲרִימֹתִי יָדִי אֶל יְיָ אֵל עֶלְיוֹן, קוֹנֵה שָׁמַיִם וָאָרֶץ, אִם מִחוּט וְעַד שְׂרוֹךְ נַעַל״; וֶאֱלִישָׁע שֶׁלֹּא רָצָה לָקַחַת מִנַּעֲמָן (מלכים ב ה טו-טז).
And with all his thoughts he should meditate how to do the will of the Creator, and purify the many others to do likewise, and to sanctify the Name of God and to surrender himself completely in the love of God, Blessed be He. And this is the love of God, Blessed is He, that is written in the Torah, as in the case of Phineas who risked his life for the sake of the Creator, may He be Blessed (Num. 25), and as in the case of Abraham, our father, who said: "I have lifted my hand to the Lord, the most High God, Creator of heaven and earth, that I will not take from a thread or a shoestring nor will I take anything of yours" (Gen. 14:22-23). And, as in the case of Elisha who did not wish to take anything from Naaman (II Kings 5:16).
וְאַל יִבְטַל מִדִּבְרֵי תוֹרָה בִּשְׁבִיל תַּעֲנוּגֵי וְשַׁעֲשׁוּעֵי יְלָדָיו, וְחִבַּת רְאִיַּת נָשִׁים וְדִבּוּר; וְגַם לַעֲזֹב טִיּוּלָם; וְיַנְעִים זְמִירוֹת כְּדֵי לְמַלֹּאת לְבָבוֹ שִׂמְחָה בְּאַהֲבַת הַשֵּׁם.
And a man ought not to waste his time away from Torah because he loves to sport and play with his children, or enjoys much visiting and conversation. And he also ought to avoid promenading about. But let him sing sweet hymns so that he fill his heart with the joy of the love of God, Blessed is He.
הָעוֹבֵד מֵאַהֲבָה עוֹסֵק בַּתּוֹרָה וּמִצְווֹת, וְהוֹלֵךְ בִּנְתִיבוֹת הַחָכְמָה הַמַּרְאִים אֵיךְ יַעֲשֶׂה כָּל הַמִּצְווֹת מֵאַהֲבָה, וְאֵיךְ יֹאהַב אֶת הַשֵּׁם יִתְבָּרַךְ אַהֲבָה גְּדוֹלָה: לֹא מִפְּנֵי דָּבָר שֶׁבָּעוֹלָם, לֹא מִפְּנֵי יִרְאַת הָרָעָה וְלֹא כְּדֵי לְקַבֵּל הַטּוֹבָה; אֶלָּא עוֹשֶׂה הָאֱמֶת מִפְּנֵי שֶׁהוּא אֱמֶת, וְסוֹף הַטּוֹבָה לָבוֹא. וּמַעֲלָה זוֹ מַעֲלָה גְּדוֹלָה עַד מְאֹד, וְאֵין כָּל אָדָם זוֹכֶה לָהּ, וְהִיא מַעֲלַת אַבְרָהָם אָבִינוּ שֶׁקְּרָאוֹ הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא ״אוֹהֲבִי״ (ישעיהו מא ח), לְפִי שֶׁלֹּא עָבַד אֶלָּא מֵאַהֲבָה. וְהוּא שֶׁצִּוָּה הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא עַל יְדֵי מֹשֶׁה רַבֵּנוּ עָלָיו הַשָּׁלוֹם, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (דברים ו ה): ״וְאָהַבְתָּ אֵת יְיָ אֱלֹהֶיךָ, בְּכָל לְבָבְךָ וּבְכָל נַפְשְׁךָ וּבְכָל מְאֹדֶךָ״. וּבִזְמַן שֶׁיֹּאהַב אֶת הַשֵּׁם בָּרוּךְ הוּא אַהֲבָה הָרְאוּיָה – מִיָּד יַעֲשֶׂה כָּל הַמִּצְווֹת מֵאַהֲבָה.
He who serves God out of love occupies himself with the Torah and the Commandments, and walks in the paths of wisdom. Have you seen how he will carry out all the mitzvoth out of love and how he will love God, Blessed be He with a great love, for no worldly reason — not out of fear of evil befalling him, and not out of expectation of good resulting from his conduct, but doing the true deed because it is true, and the good will come in the end. This virtue is very great indeed and not every man can attain it. And this was the virtue of Abraham our father, whom the Holy One, Blessed is He, called "My loving friend" (Is. 41:8) for he served God only out of love. This is the quality that the Holy One, Blessed be He, commanded us to attain through Moses our Teacher, upon him is peace, as is said: "And you shall love the Lord, your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might" (Deut. 6:5). And when a man loves the Lord, Blessed is He, with the proper love, he will, at once, do all the commandments out of love.
וְכֵיצַד הִיא הָאַהֲבָה? שֶׁיֹּאהַב אֶת הַשֵּׁם אַהֲבָה גְּדוֹלָה וִיתֵרָה רַבָּה מְאוֹד, עַד שֶׁתְּהֵא נַפְשׁוֹ קְשׁוּרָה בְּאַהֲבַת הַשֵּׁם יִתְבָּרַךְ. וְנִמְצָא הַשּׁוֹגֶה בָּהּ תָּמִיד כְּאִלּוּ הוּא חוֹלֶה חֹלִי אַהֲבָה, שֶׁאֵין דַּעְתּוֹ פְּנוּיָה מֵאַהֲבַת אוֹתָהּ אִשָּׁה, וְהוּא שׁוֹגֶה בָּהּ תָּמִיד: בֵּין בְּשִׁבְתּוֹ בֵּין בְּקוּמוֹ, בֵּין בְּשָׁעָה שֶׁהוּא אוֹכֵל וְשׁוֹתֶה – יוֹתֵר מִזֶּה תִּהְיֶה אַהֲבַת הַשֵּׁם בְּלֵב אוֹהֲבָיו. וְזֶהוּ שֶׁאָמַר שְׁלֹמֹה אָמַר עַל דֶּרֶךְ מָשָׁל (שיר השירים ב ה): ״כִּי חוֹלַת אַהֲבָה אָנִי״. וְכָל שִׁיר הַשִּׁירִים מָשָׁל הוּא לָזֶה הָעִנְיָן.
And what is "the proper love"? It is that he must love the Lord with a great, mighty and supreme love until his very soul is bound up in the love of the Lord, may He be Blessed, and he is in the ecstasy of that love always, as though he were love sick and his mind cannot for a moment be free, as when a man is infatuated with a woman, and he thinks of her with constant ecstasy, where sitting, rising, eating or drinking. Even more than this must the love of the Lord, Blessed be He, be in the heart of those who love him, ecstatic with longing for Him, as He commanded: "with all your heart and with all your soul" (Ibid.). And this is what Solomon said by way of a parable in the song of Songs: "For I am love sick" (2:5) and the entire Song of Songs is a parable of this love of God.
דָּבָר יָדוּעַ וּבָרוּר שֶׁאֵין אַהֲבַת הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא נִקְשֶׁרֶת בְּלִבּוֹ שֶׁל אָדָם עַד שֶׁיִּשְׁגֶּה בָּהּ תָּמִיד כָּרָאוּי, וְיַעֲזֹב כָּל שֶׁבָּעוֹלָם מָה שֶׁבָּעוֹלָם חוּץ מִמֶּנָּה, כְּמוֹ שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (דברים ו ה): ״בְּכָל לְבָבְךָ וּבְכָל נַפְשְׁךָ״. לְפִיכָךְ צָרִיךְ הָאָדָם לְהָבִין וּלְהַשְׂכִּיל בְּחָכְמָה וּבִתְבוּנָה הַמּוֹדִיעוֹת לוֹ אֶת קוֹנוֹ. וּכְפִי כֹּחַ שֶׁיֵּשׁ בָּאָדָם לְהָבִין וּלְהַשִּׂיג.
It is clear and well known that the love for the Holy One, Blessed be He, is not securely bound in the heart of a man until he feels its ecstasy constantly as indeed he should, and he forsakes all else in the world outside of it as He commanded and said "With all your heart and with all your soul" (Deut. 6:5). And he loves the Holy One, Blessed be He, through knowing His ways and according to his knowledge of God is his love whether it be little or great. Therefore, a man must concentrate on understanding and grasping mentally those wisdoms and insights which make him know his Creator as much as it lies within the power of man to understand and attain.
הָאֵל הַנִּכְבָּד וְהַנּוֹרָא – מִצְוָה לְאַהֲבָה אוֹתוֹ וּלְיִרְאָה מִמֶּנּוּ, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (דברים ו ה): ״וְאָהַבְתָּ אֵת יְיָ אֱלֹהֶיךָ״; וְנֶאֱמַר (שם ו יג): ״אֶת יְיָ אֱלֹהֶיךָ תִּירָא״. וְזֶה הַדֶּרֶךְ לְהַשִּׂיג בּוֹ אַהֲבַת הַשֵּׁם בָּרוּךְ הוּא: בְּשָׁעָה שֶׁיִּתְבּוֹנֵן הָאָדָם בְּמַעֲשָׂיו וּבִבְרוּאָיו הַנִּפְלָאִים הַגְּדוֹלִים, וְיִרְאֶה מֵהֶם חָכְמָתוֹ שֶׁאֵין לָהּ עֵרֶךְ וְלֹא קֵץ – מִיָּד הוּא אוֹהֵב אֶת הַמָּקוֹם בָּרוּךְ הוּא, וּמְשַׁבֵּחַ וּמְפָאֵר, וּמִתְאַוֶּה תַּאֲוָה גְּדוֹלָה לֵידַע אֶת הַשֵּׁם הַגָּדוֹל; כְּמוֹ שֶׁאָמַר דָּוִד (תהלים מ ג): ״צָמְאָה נַפְשִׁי לֵאלֹהִים לְאֵל חָי״. וּכְשֶׁמְּחַשֵּׁב בַּדְּבָרִים הָאֵלֶּה שֶׁאָמַר דָּוִד מִיָּד הוּא נִרְתָּע לַאֲחוֹרָיו וְיִירָא וְיִפְחַד, וְיֵדַע שֶׁהוּא בְּרִיָּה קְטַנָּה שְׁפָלָה וַאֲפֵלָה, עוֹמֶדֶת בְּדַעַת קַלָּה מְעוּטָה לִפְנֵי תְּמִים דֵּעוֹת; כְּמוֹ שֶׁאָמַר דָּוִד (שם ח ד): ״כִּי אֶרְאֶה שָׁמֶיךָ מַעֲשֵׂה אֶצְבְּעֹתֶיךָ״, וּסְמִיךְ לֵהּ: ״מָה אֱנוֹשׁ כִּי תִזְכְּרֶנּוּ״ (שם פסוק ה).
God glorious and awesome — it is a command to love and revere Him, as it is said: "And you shall love the Lord your God" (Ibid.), and it is further said: "The Lord your God you shall revere" (Ibid: 13). And this is the way to attain to love of the Lord, Blessed is He : When a person contemplates the great and wondrous works and creations and sees from them how God's wisdom is unparalleled, and infinite, he, at once, loves God, Blessed be He, and praises and extols Him and is filled with a great longing to know His Great Name, as David said "My soul thirsts for God — for the living God" (Ps. 42:3). And when he considers these things profoundly he immediately trembles and is startled, he is fearful and terrified, and he realizes that he is a small, lowly, obscure creature, standing with his little, finite mind before the Perfect in All Knowledge, as David said: "When I behold Thy Heavens, the work of Thy fingers, the moon and the stars which Thou hast established, what is man that Thou art mindful of him?" (Ibid. 8:4-5).
וּבִזְמַן שֶׁאָדָם מִתְבּוֹנֵן בַּדְּבָרִים הַגְּדוֹלִים, וּמַכִּיר גַּדְלוּתוֹ מִמַּלְאָךְ וְגַלְגַּל, וְיִרְאֶה חָכְמָתוֹ שֶׁל הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא בְּכָל הַיְּצוּרִים וּבְכָל הַבְּרוּאִים – מוֹסִיף אַהֲבָה לַמָּקוֹם בָּרוּךְ הוּא, וְיִצְמָא נַפְשׁוֹ וְיִכְמַהּ בְּשָׂרוֹ לֶאֱהֹב אֶת הַמָּקוֹם בָּרוּךְ הוּא, וְיִירָא וְיִפְחַד מִשִּׁפְלוּתוֹ וְדַלּוּתוֹ וְקַלּוּתוֹ כְּשֶׁיַּעֲרֹךְ עַצְמוֹ לְאֶחָד מֵהַגּוּפִים הַקְּדוֹשִׁים אֲשֶׁר בָּרָא הַשֵּׁם בָּרוּךְ הוּא.
And when a man contemplates these great and marvelous things and comes to recognize all God's creatures from angel to planets sweeping through their orbs [and man] and he perceives something of the wisdom of the Holy One Blessed be He in all formed and created things and beings, he increases his love for God, Blessed be He, and his soul will thirst and his flesh yearn to love the Omnipresent, Blessed be He, and he is awed and fearful at his own low, poor and slight status when he compares himself with any one of the holy bodies which the Lord, Blessed is He, has created.
וּבְמָקוֹם אַחֵר נֶאֱמַר (איוב א א): ״וִירֵא אֱלֹהִים״, וּבֵאֲרוּ שֶׁמִּתְיָרֵא מִדִּין עֹנֶשׁ שָׁמַיִם וּמִגֵּיהִנֹּם, וּמֵעָנְשֵׁי עוֹלָם הַזֶּה (סוטה כז ב). וְזֹאת הַמִּדָּה רְחוֹקָה מִן הָאַהֲבָה מְאוֹד מְאוֹד. אֲבָל יִירָא מֵהַשֵּׁם יִתְבָּרַךְ כְּמוֹ אָדָם שֶׁאוֹהֵב אֶת אִשְׁתּוֹ וְהִיא אוֹהַבְתּוֹ, וְהוּא יָרֵא לַעֲשׂוֹת דָּבָר כְּנֶגְדָּהּ פֶּן יְאַבֵּד אַהֲבָתָהּ – כֵּן הַדָּבָר הַזֶּה: חוֹצֵב רִשְׁפֵּי אֵשׁ אַהֲבַת הַבּוֹרֵא יִתְעַלֶּה, וְיִירָא לַעֲבֹר עַל מִצְווֹתָיו פֶּן יַפְסִיד אַהֲבַת הַבּוֹרֵא יִתְבָּרַךְ.
And in another place in Scripture it is said: "One that feared God" (Job 1:1), and the Sages explained this, to mean that he feared the punishment of Heaven, of Gehenna, and the punishments of this world as well (Sotah 27b and 31a). And this quality is very far from true love for God. For a man should fear the Lord, may He be Blessed, like a man who loves his wife and she loves him and he fears to do anything against her lest he forfeit her love. So is this — and such is the meaning of the word Reshăfihă it's (love's) flames — the flames of the fire of love for the Creator may He be Exalted. Let a person fear to transgress God's commands lest he lose the love of the Creator, may He be Blessed.
וְזֶהוּ ״עִבְדוּ אֶת יְיָ בְּיִרְאָה״ (תהלים ב יא) – הִיא יִרְאַת הָאַהֲבָה, ״וְגִילוּ בִּרְעָדָה״ – מֵרֹב פַּחַד הַבּוֹרֵא תָּגִילוּ לַעֲשׂוֹת חֶפְצוֹ.
And this is what is meant: "Serve the Lord with fear" (Ps. 2:11) — the fear of losing His love" and rejoice with trembling out of this great fear of losing the love of the Creator, rejoice that you have the opportunity to do His will.
וְזֹאת הַיִּרְאָה הִיא יִרְאַת הָאַהֲבָה, וְעָלֶיהָ נֶאֱמַר (ישעיהו לג ו): ״יִרְאַת יְיָ הִיא אוֹצָרוֹ״.
Thus, this "fear" is really "love" and it is of this that Isaiah says: "And the fear of the Lord is his treasure" (Is. 33:6).
וְאֵין הָאַהֲבָה הַזֹּאת מִתְקַיֶּמֶת אֶלָּא בְּמִי שֶׁנּוֹתֵן דַּעְתּוֹ לְקַיֵּם כָּל הַמִּצְווֹת כְּהִלְכָתָן, כִּי מִי שֶׁאֵינוֹ יוֹדֵעַ הַמִּצְווֹת אֲשֶׁר צִוָּהוּ יוֹצֵר הַכֹּל – אֵין זֶה נִקְרָא ״אוֹהֵב״ גָּמוּר. לָכֵן יֹאהַב כָּל אֲשֶׁר יְבִיאֵהוּ לְאַהֲבַת הַבּוֹרֵא בָּרוּךְ הוּא וּבָרוּךְ שְׁמוֹ. וְהָעוֹשֶׂה זֶה – טוֹב לוֹ בָּעוֹלָם הַזֶּה וְלָעוֹלָם הַבָּא.
And such a love cannot endure except in one who resolves to perform all the commandments according to their proper requirements, for one who does not know the commandments which the Creator of All commanded him to observe, cannot be called a true lover of God. Therefore, should a man love everything which brings him closer to love for the Creator, Blessed be He, and Blessed be His Name. And he who does so — it is well for him in this world and in the world to come.