הכשרת האברכים 12

התמימות והתרחקות הפניות

Whole-Heartedness and Removing Ulterior Motives

כדי להיות חסיד בעל נפש ולעורר התרגשות בעבודה, צריכים להזהר גם בכל היום שלא לרחק את הנפש, גם שלא בעניני עבודה והתרגשות, אף בעניני הרשות.

In order to be a Chassid who is dedicated to taking proper care of his soul, who arouses hisragshus in the service of God, a man needs to take great care each day so as not to do anything that might chase his soul away. This is true not only for matters of avodah and hisragshus, but also concerning everyday matters.

תנהג את עצמך בפשטות ותמימות בכל עניניך, כי תמימות היא ממשלת הנפש על האדם ומעשיו, וערמימיות היא חוסר הנפש וממשלת השכל, ולא השכל שלו הבא מן הנפש, רק שכל העולם, כלומר מנהגי ונימוסי העולם ואנשיו שקוראים לזה שכל וכפיהן עושים מדברים חושבים ומתנהגים.

In all of your mundane and spiritual affairs,²⁵⁰Similar to a perceptive woman knows the difference between a man who is flattering her, or even helping her around the house just to win her affections, and one who sacrifices his time and energy to care for her because he feels real love in his heart and a real commitment to her wellbeing, so too God, who by definition knows all and sees all. He knows when your avodah is real and when it is phony. He knows things that you hide in your heart that you are totally unaware of. He knows you better than you know yourself. It may be easy to deceive yourself, but it is impossible to deceive Hashem.
God loves an honest avodah, meaning simply that you are not learning Torah so others will stand up when you enter the room, but out of your love for God’s Torah, and you daven with fire not so other people will think you are an angel, but because your heart is really on fire with love for God. strive for simplicity and honesty,²⁵¹“Temimus,” in Hebrew is a word with multiple connotations. Depending on the context, one could also use words like, “simple” “simple minded,” “wholeness,” “complete” “perfect” “whole-hearted,” “uprightness of heart,” “innocence,” “naiveté,” and now “finished.” Rav Shlomo Carlebach z’l used to say that The “headquarters” for every word in Hebrew is the first time it appears in the Torah. So in order to truly understand the meaning of this word, we need to return to headquarters. The first usage of the root of “temimus,” – “tam” – appears in the verse, “Yaakov was an ish Tam, sitting in tents.” Rashi teaches us that “tam” is used in contradistinction to the spurious and manipulative cunning of Eisav, the hunter and “man of the field,” saying that, “Yaakov was not expert in all of these ways, but rather as he knew in his heart, so did he speak with his mouth. Someone who is not “hot to swindle,” is called, ‘tam.’ ”
A good translation is “transparency.” Whatever a man does or says should ideally be a transparent expression of his thoughts and feelings, which in themselves are a transparent and unfettered broadcast of the soul. Whatever is in the roots is also found in the trunk and branches, the leaves and the fruit.
According to Elie Wiesel, naiveté in French does not have the pejorative connotation that naïve has in English. It is rather a simple, honest, and innocent quality. for honesty is the authority of the soul over man and his actions, where guile²⁵²The opposite of “temimus,” is “armoomius,” meaning craftiness, cunningness, and trickery. is a sign that the soul is missing and the intellect is in control. Guile is not the inner intellect that comes from man’s soul, but the external intellect of the world, - such as cunning artifice in man’s commercial dealings, or calculated deceit by politicians. These things are what the world considers “smart.” It is a force which is so often employed to direct mans activities, conduct, speech, and thoughts.

את השם ערמימיות שאומרים אנו בזה, אין כוונתנו על דברי שקר בלבד, רק על ראשית השקר שבו, והסבה שמביאתו לאדם לדבר ולחשוב דברי שקר. כלומר על מצב הנפש וקלקולה, שעל ידו נעשה האיש לשקרן עד שמחשבותיו דיבוריו וכל עניניו מעוקלים, לא חיים לא נמצאים ולא אמתיים.

When we use the word guile, we are not only referring to behavior based on deception or plain old lying, but are rather focusing on the inner source of thoughts and emotions that leads to actual deceit. We seek to answer the question, “Why does man lie?” More specifically, what is the nature of the soul’s dysfunction that causes man to become a liar, to the point where all of his thoughts, words, and actions are distorted, lifeless, out of touch with reality and truth?

חותמו של הקב״ה אמת, ועל כל העולם יש חותם הזה, הצמח שהוא צומח יש בו מציאות חיות נפש הצומחת, והוא אמת, והצמח המצוייר או שנעשה מן שעוה כדמות הצומח, שקר הוא. אמת הוא המציאות, ושקר הוא האפס, שאינו נמצא. קושטא קאי שיקרא לא קאי [שבת ק״ד]. אמת הוא בחי׳ חיים, ושקר הוא מסטרא דמותא שאין כאן לא עצם לא הוה ולא נמצא. המציאות הוא האמת, והאיש שבכל עניניו מעשיו ומחשבותיו יש מציאות, שנפשו נמצאת בהם זהו אמת ותמימות.

“God’s seal is truth.” The whole world is stamped with this seal. A real plant bears the life force of a growing, living being. Simply put, it is true. An imitation flower sculpted in wax or plastic, no matter how much it looks like a flower, is a deception. Truth is reality, lying is pandering something off that isn’t really there.²⁵³Though the lie is really a lie, it seeks to communicate does not really exist. Of course the imitation flower communicates a certain truth, namely, a fake flower. But still, the wax flower is essentially a deception. Our sages say, “truth exists, falsehood does not exist.”²⁵⁴Gemara, Shabbos, 104 Truth is representative of life, and falsehood comes from the side of death which has no inner substance or being. Reality is truth. Truth and honesty are expressed when all of a man’s affairs, actions, and thoughts reveal his soul.

הצמח צומח בתמימות ופשטות, לא לשום כוונה ופני׳ חיצונית, רק מפני המציאות שבקרבו, ומפני נפשו שדוחקתו להתפשט ולהתגדל, וגם הילד מתנהג בכל עניניו בפשטות ותמימות כפי מציאות הנפש והתפשטותה. ואם גם האיש מתנהג בכל עניניו ומחשבותיו רק בנפשו, אז אף אם הוא חכם, תמים ואמתי הוא, ואם אינו מתנהג בפשטות כפי שיוצא מלבו ונפשו, אם כן אין מציאות בו, ובכל מעשיו יסוד השקר כבר בו אף שאינו אומר על עץ שהוא אבן. כי גם מי שהוא משקר לאמור על עץ שהוא אבן, יסוד וראשית השקר שבפועל מתחיל מזה שהוא מסטרא דמותא ר״ל ואין מציאות ואין נפש בכל מעשיו ומחשבותיו.

When a plant grows, it is pure honesty and simplicity. In growing, it doesn’t grow in order to manipulate something outside of itself, what is commonly called an ulterior motive. It makes no fake moves in order to deceive. A plant grows only because this is its being, this is the existence within it, and because its soul pushes it to grow and spread forth. A child’s behavior is also an expression of simplicity and honesty. A child’s behavior expresses the feelings and growth²⁵⁵The Rebbe Zts”l uses the word “hispashtus,” which is a major concept and key vocabulary word in the teachings of Chassidus and Kabbalah. It means both spreading forth, or promulgation, and undressing. Maturity is achieved when the soul spreads forth, and even more when the soul is “undressed,” of emotions and worldly vanities that conceal it. A man has reached real maturity in avodas Hashem, only when he acts with erlechkeit, namely with the middos of honesty and simplicity. This is a sign that his soul is revealed and spreading its influence in the world. of his soul. If an adult only does everything he does with his soul, even if he is intelligent, he shall by honest and truthful. And if he does not act with simplicity, and his actions do not represent the nature of his heart and soul with simplicity and clarity, then he is not real.²⁵⁶He is either kidding himself, misrepresenting himself, or lying to himself. Like the slang expression, “are you for real?” In such a case his actions are based on lies. In order to have such a dysfunction one doesn’t have to be so out of touch with reality that he goes around asserting that a tree is actually a rock. The inner genesis of expressed falsehood flows from the “side of death,” God forbid. (We are defining death as the absence of reality or substance.) When a person is a liar, all of his actions and thoughts are “unreal,” and unsubstantiated.

כל חנו של הילד הוא על שהוא תמים ופשוט, כשמדברים עמו מרגישים כאילו עם נפשו היינו מדברים, וכששואלים אותו דבר, השאלה חודרת עד לנפשו וממנה באה לנו תשובה תמימה ופשוטה, את כל לבו נותן הוא בתשובתו. לא שלא יהי׳ לך דעת יותר מלילד אנו מבקשים ממך רק שתהי׳ תמים. למשל כשישאלך אדם דבר לא תתישב איך להשיבו, לפי נימוס העולם יפה להשיבו כך, ואם אשיבנו באופן זה יחשבנו לחכם, וכדי להטותו ולרמותו טוב לענותו כך, נמצאת שתשובתך הוא אוסף של רוח מארבע רוחות העולם, לפי נימוס העולם יפה להשיבו כך, וכדי להתפאר לחכם, טוב להשיבו באופן זה וכו׳, ואתה עם נפשך חסרים, אין כאן לא מציאות, ולא חיות, לא נפש ולא אמת, רק שקר אפס ובוהו בך.

A child’s sweetness and gracefulness comes from his qualities of simplicity and honesty (or naiveté). When you speak to a child, you really feel that he is speaking from his soul. When you ask him a question, the question goes into his soul and yields a simple and honest answer. His whole heart is in his answer. We are not suggesting that you should have a mind not greater than that of a child’s.²⁵⁷The “way of honesty” does not mean doing away with your intellectual powers. All we expect from you is to be whole-hearted and honest. That is to say, if someone asks you a question, don’t fret and scheme about how to answer him. Don’t bother spinning your wheels by thinking, “Society and etiquette dictate that this is a good answer. But then again, if I give this particular answer he will think that I am clever. But if I want to trick him into giving me what I want, then I should say this.” Your answer will be a lot of hot air, meticulously gathered from the four corners of the earth and adding up to a great, big nothing. “If I say this it is well received and people will like me, but if I say this they will think I am scholarly.” And what you will have in the end – in reality – is no reality, no soul, and no truth. However, you will be the recipient of a real windfall of emptiness and nothingness.

ראשית כל תענה ברצינות [ערנסט] כאשר עם לבבך בתמימות ופשטות, ובשכלך תשמש רק להבחין אם אינך טועה בתשובה זו, אבל גם שכלך זה יהי׳ פשוט ורציני, מין כלי שמוש יהי׳ שכלך לשמש את פשטות ותמימות לבך, לעזור לה ולהוציאה לפועל. ואם תמצא שתשובה זו תזיק לך או מניעה אחרת בתשובתך, תענה איני יודע כמצוות חכז״ל ולא תעקם ותעקל תשובה נפתולה בלא לב ובלא תמימות.

First of all, try to give a serious and earnest answer. Think about how you really feel, and then just say it, honestly and simply. In formulating your answer, use your intellect only in order to make sure that you are not mistaken. If your intellect is pure²⁵⁸The Rebbe zts”l used the word “pashut,” which we have been translating as “simple.” However, as he made it clear that you don’t need to be simple-minded, like a child, the word, “pure,” has been replaced, which conveys the correct connotation, as long as you don’t read, “a pure intellect,” as meaning, “only intellect and nothing more.” Earlier, the Rebbe zts”l mentioned and praised the pure and moral intellect flows from the soul. and serious, then it will become a valuable instrument that serves the purity and honesty of your heart, helping to realize these attributes in your behavior. If you find that such an honest answer might somehow harm you or otherwise make your life more difficult than it needs be, then just say, “I don’t know.” Our sages in the Gemara advise us not give the twisted and crafty answers of a bankrupt heart and busted integrity.

ישנם אנשים שהערמימות להם בטבע, שמטבעם נוטים לזה, והם צריכים הרבה יותר עבודה עד שיישרו את דרכיהם ועד שישובו להוציא את נפשם לרצינות ופשטות, אבל אנשים ההם מעטים מאוד בישראל, כי טבע איש הישראלי ישרה טובה אף קדושה. יותר מהם ישנם אנשים שנראה גם לעצמם שהערמימות טבע להם, ומ״מ אין זאת בטבעם רק מן החינוך, והסביבה אשר נתגדלו בה מנעוריהם שהן עקמו אותם ואת רוח לבם הישר, ולהם לא יקשה כ״כ לשוב וליישר א״ע. אבל ברוב מן המעוקלים סבת הדבר היא מין רפיון רוח הוא, רוח רפה ובשביל זה דחיפתו אל האמת רפוי׳ ואינה מכרחת אותו לאמור דוקא כפי האמת שיודע.

There are people who are wily by nature. Such people need to work much harder to straighten their path to the point where they come to their souls rescue and start behaving with candor and simplicity. Fortunately, there are not so many Jews with this problem, for the Jewish people are good and honest, even holy, by nature. More often we find people who think that they are wily by nature, but in fact they have only been defrauded, raised from the cradle in a society that encourages deception, bottle fed on the notion that they will only be rewarded for their guile. Social norms base on guile have twisted their minds and their spirit of straightforwardness. It is a comfort to know that it is not so difficult to solve these problems. But you cannot just blame society. Weak personalities²⁵⁹Literally, “a weak or flimsy spirit.” are more susceptible to letting society put a kink in their hearts, a kink which impairs the impulse which compels them to the truth. Easily caving into the frauds of society, a weak personality (a reflection of a weak or concealed soul) lacks the natural inner tendency to speak the truth he well knows.

כלומר חז״ל אמרו ניכרין דברי אמת [סוטה ט׳], ובמה ולמה ניכרין. אבל ידוע לכל אחד שהמשקר, אם אינו שקרן ונוכל מורגל הרבה בשקרים, אז אינו יכול לאמור את השקר בפה ולב מלא. וברגע זו בעל כורחו מסבב את עיניו למטה או הצדה מבלי להבט ישר נוכח בפני האומרו. וביותר הדבר ניכר במי שמספר איזה מעשה שחצי׳ הראשונה אמת והשני׳ שקר, שלא באותה הבטיחות ואומץ רוח שמספר את חצי׳ הראשונה מספר את השני׳ שהוא שקר.

Chazal have told us, “Words of truth are recognizable.”²⁶⁰Sotah, 9 (soncino trans.) But how and why are they recognizable? Everyone knows that your average liar can’t pull it off so easily, unless he happens to be a seasoned con artist. He will show what con artists call, “a tell.” That is to say, at the moment when he is lying he will broadcast it physically, averting his glance down or to the side, unable to look his “mark”²⁶¹A “mark” in the jargon of confidence men is the person who they are attempting to con. in the eyes. When a man is relating something that truly happened to him, and then he gets to a point where, for whatever reason, he starts to lie, you can tell that he is lying because you see how he no longer speaks with the same self-confidence or ease that he exhibited when he was telling the truth.

וכל כך למה, מפני שמתחילה כשאמר האמת, ברוחו רוח חי שהוא האמת כפי שאמרנו, דיבר, וכשבא לשקר, אז האמת רוח החי אשר בקרבו, אינו נותן לכלה א״ע בשקר ומות, ולבו נוקף לו בשעה זו מן הכאת ודחיפת רוחו האמת, עד שגם בפניו בעיניו ובבטיחות דיבורו ניכרות. לכן איש ברוח אמיץ ועצמית חזקה קשה לו לשקר מפני רוח החי האמת החזק אשר בקרבו המגין על עצמו ומניעו בחזקה משקר. לא כן באיש בעל רוח רפה ועצמית כמושה, איש שאינו איש, שדחיפת רוחו מעטה, או שלגמרי אינו מרגיש שום דחיפה מן האמת החי, ובשביל זה מגבב דברים רק כפי הנאות וטוב בעיניו, אף כל מעשיו אינן אמיתיות מלבו, כי בלבו הכמוש אין אמת ומציאות חי׳, ורק כדי שיפארוהו או כדי שיטב לו הן.

Why is this? It is because his living soul was at odds with his lie. That is to say, when he spoke the truth, he was speaking with his living soul, which is in itself the truth, as we have mentioned, but when he came to speak falsely, then the truth, the living soul within him, objected to his decision to lie, as it did not want him to destroy himself with lies and death. The truth looks after him. Any measure of a guilty conscience brought on by the slap of his true, living spirit on his lying intellect caused his heart to skip a beat, his eyes to look away, and his confidence to run off and hide.²⁶²The problem is no so much that it will hide itself well, or even for a long time, but rather that it will hide so well that he will forget to even try to look for it. This is the idea behind the “hide and seek” story about the Maggid of Mezeritch and his young son. In short, his physical gestures reacted to his inner conflict. It is difficult for the brave-spirited to lie because he is being protected by the strength of his true, living soul. This is not so for a man whose weak personality and spirit cowers before his decision to act or speak with guile. He is a straw man. It could be that he is so spiritually bereft that he is rendered spineless and doesn’t feel compelled at all by the living truth that resides deep within him. For this reason he piles lies upon lies according to what he thinks is good for him or will bring him pleasure, even thought all of his actions are not truly expressing of his mind and feelings, because the waters of the living reality we call the truth have apparently evaporated from his heart, leaving it like a tattered, dried out sack filled with nothing. Just as a bloodless heart cannot beat, truth and reality cannot be expressed by a man whose real feelings and inner soul are compromised²⁶³Or concealed. by his desire for others admiration, confidence, or reward.²⁶⁴Or in the case of the con man, the wanton desire to get something out of another by means of deception.

הצצתי וראיתי עוד, אנשים חנפים אף משקרים בשביל חנופותיהם שיסוד פגם נפשם זה, הוא רפיון רוחם, שאין להם אמיצות לעמוד על נפשם, ובשביל זה מתבטלים לפני זולתם להחניפם, והתבטלותם ורפיון רוחם בכלל מביאים אותם גם לשקר. ובצדק יכולים לאמור שרפיון רוח וקבורת הנפש באיש סיבה איומה להרבה פגמיו, אף הפכפכניות וקלות בכלל ובעבודה בפרט להיות כנוצה באויר פעם כך ופעם כך כנ״ל, בהרבה מהם הרפיון וחוסר הנפש מסבב אותן.

I took a glimpse at what is happening under the façade of a flatterer.²⁶⁵“Chanfan:” a flatterer, toady or in the colloquial, a “yes man.” Flattery is a symptom (or a “tell,” as it were.) of an insincere type that results from a weak personality. It is the way such a personality communicates his soul’s bill of health. The root of the handicap is the inability of the weak personality to stand up to his real feelings and desires.²⁶⁶Such a dysfunction either conceals or chases away his nefesh. The difference between concealment and banishment of the soul requires further study. If a man cannot feel, has he somehow “chased away,” his soul, or merely concealed it with distractions? The opening thesis of this chapter suggests that the dominance of the worldly intellect, which allows deception as a means of achieving self-gratification, interferes with the revelation, or dominance, of the Godly soul, which is itself truth and the source of life. Whether you describe it as concealment or banishment only implies a difference in the degree of the severity of the condition. It brings a man to negate himself - either by suppressing or denying his real feelings, and then putting on an act in order to curry favor with his friends or associates. Whether or not he is aware of his act, his own self-abnegation and inner weakness often brings him to speak falsely. You can see how a weak personality, or the dysfunction of intellect and desire that interferes with his nefesh, is certainly the reason behind of many tragic character flaws other than lying, such as fickle mindedness, the outright inability to stick to a decision without feeling remorse, regret, or anxiety.²⁶⁷Such modus operandum might exhibit themselves in a sad, furtive person, or even be the hidden cause behind a good time Charlie who takes nothing too seriously other than parties, female companionship, and television, but regardless, they are both symptomatic of his own feelings of self-worthlessness. In neglecting to take proper care of his soul, he has given up on his goal of becoming a menche. Like a feather in the breeze, he struts and frets on his life’s stage for want of a brave nefesh, a condition with serious consequences. Yes, he may lead a flighty existence,²⁶⁸sometimes in shiur and sometimes in a bar. but for the time being there is one constant that stays with him as he flutters in the wind; his soul is absent.²⁶⁹It is not that he is totally bereft of a soul, but that his actions are not done with soul.

כבר דברנו בחובת התלמידים פ״ז מרעת שפלות המרומה להתבייש מן המלעיגים עליו, ויסוד כל אלה חוסר עצם נפש אמיצה. וראה נא ברע״ב אבות פ״ד מ״א ד״ה הכובש את יצרו וכו׳ טוב ארך אפים הבא מצד הגבורה של כבוש היצר לא מצד רכות הטבע עכ״ל הק׳. גם לטובה וגם כשמאריך אפו, טובה היא אם מגבורה באה לא מצד רכות הטבע.

In A Student’s Obligation²⁷⁰Chapter 7. we spoke about the deceptive feeling of worthlessness that one could feel when he is the brunt of another man’s taunts or insults. The foundation of these feelings is the absence of bravery. Rav Ovadia of Bartenura zts’l, in his famous commentary on the Mishna, offers us a real key to the attribute of bravery. When the Mishna tells us, “who is mighty? A man who conquers his yetser,” we need to understand that it is war of attrition that we are fighting with the yetser.²⁷¹That is to say, the yetser wants us to give up or give in. It wants us to use our energy for pleasure or revenge. The Bartenura tells us, “The patience²⁷²The term the Bartenura uses is, “erech apayim.” See Shemos, 34:6, which describes God’s attribute of being, “Slow to anger,” (Kaplan, Margolin), and ”Long Suffering.” (Soncino) It is an ambiguous term that is gererally understood as patience. “Erech” means length or lengthening, and “apayim” carries the triple connotation of anger, the face, and the nostrils. “I will soften my anger,” or simply “taking a breather.” that you need when you hold back, using your strength to conquer the yetser is not to be confused with a weak spirit.” Bravery and might is also expressed in your own self-restraint, when you use your might to conquer the yetser by actually resisting its advice.²⁷³Mighty (“gibbur”) is the man or woman whose actions, words, and mind operate according to the activity of resistance as opposed to the passivity of resignation. This is not only, “a big man knows when to walk away from a fight,” but more often, “just do it,” and do away with it by just not doing it. Your might is good and well when it is put into the power of patience, as long as it is truly restraining your desire to enjoy something that will come to harm you, but not an kind of emotional paralysis brought on by cowardice.²⁷⁴The tell for cowardice is getting weak in the knees, sweaty palms, nervous laughter, or just about anything, as long as it a physical sign of your fear of confronting your true feelings with bravery. The tell for bravery might be clenching your fists, grinding your teeth, and so forth, as an expression of your will to refrain from transgression, including insincere behavior such as flattery.

אל תטעה לומר שגאות וקשות עורף אנו דורשים, הס מלהזכיר, כבר אמרה הגמרא [שבת ל״ג ע״א] סימן לגסות הרוח עניות בתורה. זו מדה אחרת לעצמה, יש איש ריק מכל מדה טובה איש בלא נפש אמיצה ומ״מ רוחו גסה עליו, ואיש בנפש אמיצה והוא ענו, אף שפל ורך כקנה הוא בפני כל, אבל לא להיות נסחב אחר מדותיהם ודעותיהם, את האמת פקידת נפשו פקודי ד׳ ותורתו הוא מאזין בכל, ומהן לא יזוע.

We are stressing the importance of bravery, which is an expression of the soul’s might (gevurah), but beware of misusing such inner might with by arrogant or stubborn behavior. The sages teach us that if someone is rude, it is a sign that he is a poor student of the Torah.²⁷⁵One who is truly learned in Torah will naturally conduct himself according to the middos espoused by the Torah. Immodest behavior and the use of crude language from even the most intelligent scholars is a “tell” that they have not really acquired the Torah and its message. Such teachers should be avoided and held suspect, if not shunned. The difference between the use and abuse of inner might is the difference between a man whose crude, arrogant, and selfish behavior shows his lack of bravery, and another whose bravery is actually revealed in modest behavior. He is as unassuming and frail as a blade of grass, but it is a natural product of his inner resolve not to be drawn after their ways, including both their middos and their opinions.²⁷⁶The Rebbe Zts”l uses the word, “deos,” which means attitudes, opinions, but mostly character traits and modes of behavior. Either the secular Hellenistic world view where wisdom and even ethics are totally disconnected from behavior, or the baldy behaved so-called Torah scholar who is not so different, except in that he operates in Orthodox Jewish society. Honesty requires a harmony between ethical thought, speech, and action. Each one must be a reflection of the other. The first type knows the truth. With true bravery, he follows the Torah and the calling of his soul.

לכן אם חפץ אתה להיות חסיד בעל נפש, עליך להשמר ולהזהר בכל מעשיך גם היום יומי, שלא להיות שקרן, קל והפכפך, רק להוציא את נפשך, באמת, תמימות, פשטנות, וישרנות. וגם כאשר בעבודתך תתחזק ותתרגל לגלה ולהוציא את נפשך כפי שדברנו בהקונטרס הזה, יקל לך לרחק כל שקר חנופה וערמימיות ממך ולהעשות איש אמת תמים.

If your real desire is to be a Chassid and a ba’al nefesh, then you need to be vigilant and take great care in how you go about all of your daily endeavors. Believe in yourself, and tell yourself that instead of being a liar or a loaf, unstable or undecided, you can be a baal nefesh, who brings his soul to his private life just as he brings it to his community. You can go through life with honesty and integrity, truly living the life of a Chassid whose conduct is simple and direct. When you accustom yourself to serving God, energizing your avodah in a way that reveals your nefesh according to the discussion we are holding over these pages, it will make it easier for you to cast away all kinds of lies, duplicity, pretense, flattery, and deception that creep into your daily routine. You will be able to live with truth and honesty.

תמים תהי׳ עם ד׳ אלקיך היא מצוות עשה הכוללת כמעט כל העבודה למקום. הרבה אנשים ישנם אשר הפניות בעבודה להם יותר לאבן נגף מלשאר בני אדם, ובכל דבר עבודה, מחשבות פניות לשם אנשים רודפות אותם יותר מלזולתם. יש מהם שהסיבה היא פשוטה, מפני שאהבתם ויראתם לד׳ פחותה ומעטה היא יותר מאשר לזולתם ובשביל זה נוח לכל מחשבות פסולות בכלל ולהפניות בפרט לדחוק ולכנס במוחם ולבם, ואנשים זולתם שאהבתם ויראתם לד׳ יותר חזקה, מתבצרים נגד התנקשות והתנפלות כל אויב, ולא יקל למחשבה אחרת פסולה לדחוק ולכנס במוחם לרחק את הרצון ומחשבה טובה לשם ד׳ ולהפוך את עבודתו לשם בני אדם ולתפארתו שישבחוהו בני אדם.

“Be honest, (simple, and whole-hearted) with Hashem, your God.”²⁷⁷Devarim, 18:13 This is a positive commandment which includes almost every service offered to the Omnipresent. There are so many distractions to a pure avodah.²⁷⁸Everything from a noisy neighbor, to world events, from a veiled insult to traumatic humiliation, from a phone bill to bankruptcy, (God forbid it and protect us) removes us from the goal of a pure, honest avodah. Of course, just as harmful are ulterior motives, such as desires for admiration, affection, money, and honor. Keeping the goal of a pure avodah requires constant attention. In Hebrew, such distractions, both external and internal, are called, “p’niyot” (or “pniyah” in the singular.)²⁷⁹“ponei” in Hebrew means to turn. Turning from the truth in any form is called, “pniyos.” We have translated it as “distractions.” For example, if you are reading the paper, and you hear a glass breaking, you will likely turn from the paper and look in the direction of the noise. A pniyah is kind of hidden agenda. If someone is paying you to learn, daven, or do any mitzvah, you may similarly feel a distraction, especially if you are not so involved in your work. If, however, you are receiving a stipend in collel (or yeshiva) and you are putting your heart and soul into your avodah, you will inevitably feel less distracted. It is quite common that a man’s feelings for others will compromise his avodah. Clearly, some people find distractions a greater obstacle than others. Everywhere the distracted type goes in the ways of avodah he is chased by distracting thoughts both concerning opponents and loved ones.²⁸⁰Who is distracting? The distraction could come anyone, ranging from a clerk giving them grief to a close relative causing them pain, from a friend you are playing tennis with, to a woman you are considering marrying. You are standing in shul, davening, and your mind seizes upon the annoyance of a late delivery, or the way your friend insulted you in the hallway. You could be cooking for Shabbos and thinking, am I doing this because I love God and Shabbos, or just in order to garner approval from friends and family. The reasons other people distract him so easily is simple. His love and fear of God is not as strong as his love and fear for his fellow man. This makes it easier for worthless thoughts in general and ulterior motives in particular to find their way into his mind and soak into his feelings. A less distracted type who is more in love with God and trembles with greater awe before His awesome power and judgment is well protected against the harassment of back-stabbers or any form of social ambush that falls upon him. A worthless thought will find it much more difficult to push its way into his mind. His mind is well fortified, and an enemy thought will not find it easy to break in and push away his good desires and thoughts for the sake of heaven in the efforts to transform the man’s avodah into one that panders to other people’s approval or praises.

אבל ישנם בני אדם אשר הסיבה שהפניות תרדפנה אותם יותר היא מחוסר התמימות, כי כנ״ל תמים, חסיד בעל נפש אמיצה, ואיש אמת, דבר אחד הם, ולהיפך בעל נפש כמושה, שקרן, הפכפכך, וקל, דבר אחד. לכן במידה שהאיש בעל נפש כמושה וקל, אז אף בשעה שרוצה לעבוד באמת יקל להפניות ולכל מחשבות פסולות לדחוק ולרחק את רצונו ומחשבתו הטובים ולהפכם לרעתן, וככל שירבה להיות חסיד בעל נפש אמיצה, אמת, ותמים, רצונו הטוב חזק ויתחזק, ולא במהרה יכרע לפני פניות הרעות.

Then there are those who are chased by distractions more because they have not yet learned to put their heart into their avodah,²⁸¹A lack of temimus, whole hearted naiveté and simplicity, is a sign of a lack of dedication. and as such are lacking in “temimus.” In this case, what they do or say is not a transparent expression of their thoughts and feelings. Previously we mentioned how the “tam,”²⁸²A “tam” is a man who is simple but not necessarily a simpleton, lucid, honest, and refined in his candor, and transparency but not at the expense of his personal safety, is a Chassid, a ba’al nefesh and man of truth. The more a man is “soul challenged,”²⁸³This is modern American optimist usage for a handicap. A man in a wheelchair is “physically challenged,” and a short person is, “vertically challenged.” That is to say he might be “wearing a black hat,” even an intellectual who is didactic in his performance of mitzvos, but in terms of avodas Hashem he is, for all intensive care purposes, lying in a hospital be with IV’s hooked up to his green skin and yellow eyes. This is the extreme, of course. It is not always so dire. In our analogy, you could say that the more developed religious personalities need only be convalescing, home sick from work, or going around with a bad cold. weak spirited, easy going to the point of being careless, then even when he really wants to serve God, his habitual lightness, his cavalier or savoir faire demeanor causes his mind to cave into distractions. He is then unable to get them out of his mind. They push away his holy desire and good thoughts, actually transforming them into obstacles. The more he becomes a Chassid and a brave baal nefesh, truthful and “tamim,” his good desire will grow stronger and stronger, and he will be less prone to caving into distractions.

כמדומני ששמעתי בשם צדיקים, שבשעה שהאיש עומד בעבודה יצייר לו במחשבתו שנמצא עתה ביער יחידי רחוק מבני אדם ורק לשם ד׳ יתפלל ולא לשום פני׳ בשביל שום איש.

I seem to remember once hearing in the name of one of the great Tsaddikim this advice. When you are serving God in any way, imagine that you are standing alone in the forest or in the desert. No one is around for miles. You stand alone in the forest and daven to God, for God only. It is only You and God, and nothing and no one will pull you from the mark.

כפי שהבאנו לעיל מקדושנו עיר וקדיש הבעש״ט זצוקללה״ה א״א להפטר לגמרי מן הפניות, היינו גם מן הדקדקות. אדרבה, מי שאינו שקוע בעבודה ולא מרבה להסתכל לתוך עומק עצמותו ועומק עבודתו, יש שמרמה א״ע לאמור שעבודתו אמת לאמיתה, ולא עוד אלא שיש שקשה לאמור לאיש כזה הלא עבודתך בפניות השלך אותן ממך, כי אולי עי״ז גם מן כל עבודתו ימנע, כיון שעיקר המעורר שלו לעבודה הן הפניות, וכשישליכן, כל המעורר יחסר לו, ועמהן עם הפניות יכול להיות שברוב הימים יעלה לעבודה לשמה כמו שאחז״ל לעולם יעסוק וכו׳ שמתוך שלא לשמה בא לשמה. אבל העובד המרבה להסתכל בקרבו ובעבודתו, רואה שלפעמים זעיר שם זעיר שם מחשבה דקה זו של פני׳ מתנפנפה, ורצון טוב זה אשר התעורר בו לא כולו טהור הוא לשם ד׳, רק גם איזה נדנוד של פני׳ התדבק בו. לא שהעובד מניח את האבק הזה על עבודתו הס מלהזכיר. אך שגם להעובד יש יצה״ר הדברים אמורים, ויצרו הוא בזה לעפר את עבודתו ולפזר אבק הזה עלי׳, אבל הוא העובד קם בכל התאמצותו נגד יצרו ומנער עצמו מן העפר גם מן האבק ומגרש את נדנוד הפני׳ ממנו ומעבודתו ועובד הלאה עבודתו עבודה טהורה ביתר התאמצות והתחזקות בלא הפניות.

As previously mentioned, the Holy Baal Shem Tov taught us that it is impossible to serve God in a way that is completely free of ulterior motives, which would include the compulsion to pedantic behavior. To the contrary, when someone is not totally engulfed in the avodah, not spending a great deal of energy looking deep inside himself and evaluating his motives, he will liberally claim that his avodah is true at all levels of truth. And perhaps a greater dilemma arises when you face the difficulty of telling someone that his avodah is fraught with insincerity and less than pure motives, because if he takes your words to heart then there is a great danger that he will abandon his avodah altogether. He could see how the main motivation for his holy service was in order to achieve some questionable or at least peripheral attraction, but certainly not the real point of the avodah. Remove the attraction and the avodah is no longer desired. But if you did not enlighten him with the harsh truth it could very be that given time he will develop an interest in following a pure avodah, succeeding in serving, “lishmah.” (for the sake of heaven). This is as our sages advised us, “always learn Torah even for the wrong reasons, for with persistence you will eventually be learning Torah for the right reasons and for the sake of Heaven.” Yet still, an eved Hashem²⁸⁴Servant of God. who takes pains to look deeply and honestly inside himself and his avodah will occasionally see an impure motive fluttering around in his soul. The good intention that sparked his devotion is evaluated and turns out to be not entirely pure and for the sake of Heaven, as a slight but disconcerting ulterior motive has tainted his avodah. It is like a precious object that has accumulated dust. Such accumulation is clearly not a product of any overt intention on the part of the eved Hashem, but since he has a yetser ha’rah within him, that part of him that tries make his avodah look good by means of a cosmetic improvement, for this reason he, so to speak, puts dust on it to cover it up. But now that he is aware of his previous insincerity, he gets up and dusts himself off, shaking away the ulterior motive and serving God a pure and energized avodah.

וכיון שגם אתה בחור ואברך בעול העבודה אף החסידות את צוארך נתת, ומקוים אנו לד׳ כי גם להיות מתרגש החילות להעשות, לכן חוק הנוכחי חקוק לך. כל קולא אשר תבא להקל לך בענין עבודה בשעה שאתה בינך לבין עצמך אפילו אם היא רחוקה הרבה מן נדנוד עבירה כמה פרסאות, חשוב האם גם אילו בין אנשים היית הקילות אותה, מוטב, ואם לאו אז חוס על נפשך ולא תקל אותה לך. ואם יפתך יצרך לאמור הלא רחוקה היא מכל נדנוד עבירה כמה פרסאות, השב לו אבל מן רמי׳ אינה רחוקה ולהיות רמאי חטא חמור הוא, ובשום אופן לא אסכים לחיות חיים של שקר נוכל וסט״א ר״ל. ובכלל כל דיבור ומעשה אשר בינך לבין עצמך מדוד במדה זו אם גם בין אנשים היית מדבר ועושה אותם. ולהיפך כשתהי׳ בין אנשים בשעת עבודתך ומחשבה אף קלה של פנוי׳ התגנבה בך ואתה מצטער עלי׳, אז הסתכל בקרבך אם כל התעוררותך להעבודה, ח״ו לשם פנוי׳ היתה, אז חדול עתה מן העבודה בשעה זו, ואח״כ כשתהי׳ בינך לבין עצמך תעבדנה. ואם עיקר התעוררתך לשם שמים היתה, והיצה״ר רק רודפך ואבק המרעיל רק אח״כ פיזר עליך, ובפרט אם היא עבודה שגם בשעה שאתה בינך לבין עצמך עובד אותה, שהוא אות מובהק שלשם שמים נתעוררת לה, אז את הפני׳ רחק, ואפילו אם בתחילה ידמה שקשה לך להסירה ממך, מ״מ אל תבט עלי׳ רק עבוד הלאה. כי בפני׳ כגון זו שלא היא העיקרית בהתעוררותך לעבודה וגם תצטער עלי׳, חיש קל תסיר ממך כשרק תביט עלי׳ ברוגז לגרשה.

Bachur! Avreich! Since you have offered your neck and shoulders to the yoke of avodah, we sincerely hope and pray to Hashem that you have already been changed into a real man of feeling, an eesh misragesh. The current law under discussion is not only printed on the pages of this book, but chiseled into the walls of your heart. If you want to know if you are following it, ask yourself, “Is there any leniency in Jewish Law²⁸⁵It could be the way I daven, the way I learn Torah, or the way I conduct myself with my friends. A son doesn’t usually act the same way he does when he is with his father as he does when he is with his friends. A real key to gauging your own transparency and honesty is if your behavior is consistent both in private and public. Ask yourself, “do I daven alone at home the same way I do in shul?” Some people are known as, “real serious daveners.” They shuckle hard, squeeze their eyes shut, and might even wave their arms around, apparently fighting off the yetser and reaching out for God. They look very serious, shouting yehie shmei raba and barchu with real gusto. Saying the words of the tefillah out loud is a good way to wake up your feelings of hisragshus, but as was said in a previous chapter, a more advanced davener might be able do this in silence and without moving too much. We Jews are not still and silent. The Jewish soul flickers like God’s candle. Absolute stillness and nullification is the prayer style in other religious traditions And yet, many of the great masters of Torah knew how to disappear during the ascent of the soul. Not that their physical body was no longer seen (that is in the category of ma’ase bnei cham), but when their soul ascends to higher planes, they appear to be asleep. You do this when you dream. Ask yourself, “Is it an attempt to look like a Chassid or a product of the desire to reveal my soul?” So you could even go deeper and ask, “Is the intensity of my davening an attempt to paint over my real feelings?”
Rav Adin Even Yisrael shlita was once holding court At a yud tes kislev gathering of Chabad Chassidim in Jerusalem that lasted into the early hours of the morning, as is often the case. When things were really heating up with the Bachurim, with singing and dancing, the police arrived at the behest of the neighbors to quiet things down. I started to wonder why the police don’t show up at the mosque when the blaring wails of the muezzin cry out at four in the morning. (Several obvious reasons came to mind; it is their big ben, and the government wants to preserve “peace and order”). After the police appearance, Rav Adin said, “you have to be careful about blatant or grandiose expressions of exuberance, because sometimes you do them to cover up for an inner lack of feeling.” that I rely upon when I am alone, but when I am around other people, in shul or in yeshivah, in the street or in the supermarket, I do not? If you are privately lenient and only publicly strict with yourself, then have mercy on your immortal soul and be strict with yourself at home or whenever no one is around either just to see what a big machmir²⁸⁶Machmir, means being strict with oneself about any or all Torah laws. you are, or frighten you into strictures lest they question your seriousness. If your yetser ha’rah comes to tempt you with words of encouragement, saying, “You are a stand up Bachur! You are a serious davener and a brilliant learner, no? So let’s face it, with such strong dedication you must be miles away from even a hint of sin,” then turn to your inner opponent and say, “but I am not so far from deceiving myself, and that’s a very serious sin. Under no condition do I want to live the life of a lying scoundrel from the other side.” With everything you say to yourself, everything you think or feel, ask yourself if you would say this out loud to someone else, to your mother or father, to your Rabbi or your friends. The converse is also true. When you are engaging in avodas Hashem in public, and you find yourself disturbed when a less than pure motive for your actions steals into your mind, then you need to go deep. Look inside yourself, don’t be afraid. Were you inspired by the love and awe of the Almighty’s presence in your strictness and holiness, or was it really just because you are frightened of other’s reactions or seeking their approval? If your motives were not pure, then take a break from your avodah. An hour later, when you are home alone, go into it again in the same way. Do you still feel inspired? If the awakening of inspiration was indeed for the sake of Heaven, then you have yet again been a victim of the yetser ha’rah, scattering the poison dust on you only after the action. The yetser has ambushed your confidence and self-esteem. In its desire to pull you away from avodas Hashem, it asks you questions²⁸⁷The snake in the Garden of Eden, known as the first lawyer, according to Rav EY, did much the same. Notice how it opens by hissing a question, “did God really say don’t eat from any tree in the Garden?” It already anticipates that she will, with simple naivety, say no, just that tree. Then, like a prosecuting attorney trying to discredit a witness, the snake can continue and “lead” the witness, which is against court procedure, as everyone knows from TV law shows. intended to weaken your faith, doubt your sincerity, or at very worst, give up, God forbid. So don’t listen its questions.²⁸⁸At first it may not seek to get you to abandon Torah observance, God forbid. However, it will start by casting aspersions on whether or not you can be a Chassid or a Baal Nefesh. It will say, “the goal is too high, and the headache is too painful. Just look at Reb Beryl, he’s on the level of being a chassid, but you just cant get there.” Just hold onto the knowledge that though, “not every Jew is holy, every Jew is really the Holy of the Holiest,” not every Jew is a big Chassid, but every Jew, Ashkenazi or Sephardi, has within him a unique spark of kedushah, that “pintle yid,” that unites him with every other Jew. He may not be outwardly holy, but if he wants to he can do the greatest thing a man can do. He can refine himself, and thereby assimilate his desires with God’s. The Torah says (Devarim, 32)“Ci Chelek Yisrael Amo,” the Jewish soul, and Jewish people are a portion of God, just because we have the DNA of Yaakov Avinu and have access to his inheritance. If you use the inheritance, you are holy. And if you do not it doesn’t mean that it is not yours for the taking if you ever decide to possess it. You are God’s first born, God’s own treasured project. If you don’t want to take his gifts, He doesn’t say, “That’s it, its over. You lost your chance.” He is our wise father, abundantly patient and always keeping his promise.
Every Jew’s pintle yid is both a gift and a veritable portion of God. The Holy Rav Yisrael ben Eliezar (Baal Shem Tov) teaches us, “God is everywhere, God is infinite. He is within time and space and beyond time and space. So if you hold onto a part of God, even and infinitesimal part, you are really holding onto the whole.” So don’t let any man or yetser ever dare to cause you to feel that you are not worthy. This, and the world, was only created for you. It was given to you. It is there for the taking. But to be a Chassid, to be a Baal Nefesh, just like being a shoemaker, doctor, lawyer or even a good beggar, takes daily effort. And God never makes His mistvos impossible. He gives you the strength to do what he asks of you and to become the mentche you were meant to be. The sign that you are honest and whole in your avodah is that you do it alone just as you do it in public. And even if, God forbid, you think that you can’t cast it away, think again, and keep doing it.²⁸⁹Take it upon yourself like an ox takes the plow, as the donkey takes the load. After all, you are not an ox! You are a man, who has the potential to be greater than an ox! It is up to you. Since the tainted motive is not the source of your awakening to avodah, and owing to the disturbance you feel by its presence, how easy it will be for you to brush it away with no more than a sharp stare and a stern shout.